More postcards! Image heavy, containing the crack of a five-year-old trying to take over the world.
Ryuuji's rotating the people he sends postcards to so that he won't flood them with mail. Each of his postcards have a small jar of honey attached to them.
( Postcard for Sara. )
( Postcard for Sara. )
Comments 43
Oooh, thank you!!! Thank you thank you thank you!
I hope Rebecca comes to Hogwarts.
Sincerely,
Shizuka
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You're welcome! I figured that since I never got a chance to send you those sweets I promised, I'd get you some honey instead for the meantime. And when we hit Paris proper, I'll pick some sweets there, 'kay?
I hope so too. Rebecca's a cool kid. XD
Cordially,
Ryuuji
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No, though we did go up against a demon that staged the murder of two children, and then appeared as their 'ghosts' to sweep our town into a witch hunt. We think that the demon originated the Hansel and Gretel tale. Anyways, yours is much cuter. As for the honey vats... there are worse ways to die. But then, there's also better ways to kill people. You can't really blame her, she looks about four.
I'm well. I've found a job. I hope you find some fun that doesn't try to kill you.
-Oz
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Dude, why did your bird try to peck me? All I did was try to get at the herbs to figure out what those were about. And huh, that's weird. The witch hunt, though I fail to see the relevance to honey-caused near-deaths. And she's five. We checked. And seriously, c'mon, putting mindcontrolling substances into gourmet honey to gain power over the leaders of the world? That's pretty devious for a five-year-old.
You've got a job? Why? And cool! Is it fun? I'm having fun. Really. Adrenalin junkie anyway, so even the parts where we almost die is fun. Though, not while they're happening, obviously. And washing the honey out of my hair was a pain.
~Ryuuji
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My bird is sorta a bastard. But he's tough and good at his job, which I need. You can get revenge by naming him, though. So far he's just been 'My Owl'. Maybe Fluffy Wigglemuffins?
Well, both were mind control done by children (or things that looked like children) that led to people almost dying. Your adventure probably tasted better, though.
She sounds awesome, and I wish I could adopt her, but her parents might still be alive.
I got a job because money is the route to all evil, but also other things. It's... interesting. I assist for the Care of Magical Creatures course.
Everything is more fun in retrospect, I hear. Must be a blast to be eighty-seven, then.
-Oz
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Right... Hm. Raptorbait sound good to you? And what's with the herbs tied around his neck anyway?
Okay, point there. Though really, the hours of labor involved in washing the honey out of my hair? Totally not worth it.
Dude, much as I love you, you're a little young to be adopting kids. And I'm not sure you're the best role model either, what with constantly telling stories about your high school - she'd be terrified of the education system by the time she was old enough.
...With Fenrir. Right. Okay. How's that going? Has he mentioned if he's going to take points off me if I show up to his next class? And why that in particular?
Who wants to live that long? Live fast, die young and leave a pretty corpse is more my style.
~Ryuuji
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Ooooh! Honey! How delightful!
I'll enjoy it completely. Me and the squid shall enjoy this VERY much. It's so good to know that you remembered me. I'm touched in a creepy elder god sort of way.
- Signed,
Professor Cthulhu
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I'm glad you like it! I wasn't sure what you ate - okay, apart from worlds - but I figured that honey is always useful for something or another. And hey, can't forget the Elder God that's going to lead our Quidditch Team to victory, right? Best of luck with that, and whatever else you have going on!
~Ryuuji
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Of course I like it. I've very pro-honey. I eat plenty of things. Worlds, Souls, Fishheads, Whale's Milk. And of course, Slytherin shall succeed. I do assure this.
And dare I ask why the Little Girl was plotting world domination. And why there were vampire cows by the way?
~ Prof. Cthulhu
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You are? Awesome! I ♥ honey. Always glad to meet a fellow enthusiast. Nightwing didn't even know the difference between rose honey and rosehip honey, can you imagine? Pleb. But I love him anyway. And that's great, Professor. I'm glad to know the team is in good hands tentacles.
...Honestly, I have no clue why she was plotting world domination. She gave a really long speech about the whole matter, but I was too busy getting ready to turn the honey into mud to pay attention to her.
And the vampire cows might or might not be Adam's fault. He says he dreamt about them and that his dreams usually alter reality, but I'm iffy on that. But the basic story is that a herd of them attacked us while we were sleeping and we had to fight them with legs ripped from the bed and a broom. And they bled pink milk.
~Ryuuji
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Mind control? Evil genius? I dare say this "Queen Bee" will be applying to Hogwarts soon; she would fit right in with the rest of the student population! We are doing as well as can be expected, thank you. Unofficially, the roommate situation has changed. I will need to do some shopping. A lot of shopping.
Best,
Stephen
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...Oh, please don't give her any ideas! She's five years old and tried to have me and Nightwing killed via honey vats. I think it might be awkward to run into her again.Oh, really? That's awesome! Make sure to take her along when you go shopping so that you can get stuff both of you like.
Sincerely,
Ryuuji.
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Oh. I suppose that might be a good idea. Thank you.
Still pretty clueless,
Stephen.
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Yes, a very good idea. You want a room that both of you are comfortable in, so make sure that it'll reflect your tastes and hers. You're welcome!
Still willing to help,
Ryuuji
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It's all right--- things happen like that sometimes. I'm glad to know you're all right, though! And I'll tell Fillerbunny. Only you might want to write to him on his own now. Because Stephen and I have sort of switched roommates: the aardvark is going to live with FB since Stephen and I end up in each other's beds all the time anyway and I think we'd scare FB if he saw us together. In bed, I mean. For that matter, we'd probably scare the aardvark too. I hope you and Nightwing are having fun.
---R.
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...Fillerbunny's going to room with an aardvark?! Wow. I hope it doesn't get him into trouble or anything. I didn't even know an aardvark had applied to the school. Poor Fillerbunny. Then again, haven't you ever heard the expression "fucking like bunnies"? Though I doubt Fillerbunny or the aardvark have. And yeah, we are. When we're not having the weirdest encounters with five-year-old-would-be-dictators or vampiric cows. XD
~Ryuuji
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The aardvark is Stephen's. Somehow they got to be friends. Yes. Though in our case it's a little more... carnivorous. That sounds even more interesting than Hogwarts. And that's saying something.
---R.
P.S. It's funny to have the same initials at both ends of the letter! Maybe I should start signing my name with a Chinese character for 'river' instead....
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Aw, that's so cute! You guys being lovers and your pets being friends as well. ...I'll refrain from asking. You wouldn't believe how 'interesting' it's been so far. Especially the rain of candy hearts.
~Ryuuji.
P.S. I kinda like the symnetry actually, but I could always switch to kanji if you prefer.
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