Inspector Javert of the fandom Les Miserables
Note: Comments translated into English for readers' convenience.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
The stuff at the local store is barely edible, let alone anyone's favorite. I suppose it's better than the rubbish at Toulon, but only on a good day.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
That's an interesting question, as I have never heard of either of them. In any event, it would be rather hypocritical for me to go 'round butchering folks as I make a living preventing others from doing just that. Bit of a problem there.
3. What time is it where you are?
*looks up*
All of my colleagues seem to have left, and there isn't much wax left on this candle. Whatever the time is, it's ridiculously late.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Wouldn't a dead man have better things to do than molest birds?
5. If you are pushing to be in:
I trust the administration to place me where I am needed; therefore, I will answer all the questions to the best of my abilities.
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
I don't bartend, exactly, but I have visited the Cafe Musain once. Alas, spying on students hardly qualifies, especially when you are caught and tied up.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Married? Are you quite sure? In my experience, the only men who marry each other are incarcerated. Not for that, I assure you; we don't prosecute things like that here. It's only that criminals are the ones losing lady friends, so they marry each other (in prison, no less!). You'll have to ask Vidocq about this. He's batshit crazy, but his memoirs are quite informative.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
It's quite simple: someone at work has it out for you. For every paper you dispose of, another two are added by your malicious co-worker. I would suggest you find the culprit post-haste.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
There is a saying that there are twenty/fifty/one hundred men on the Paris force with Inspector Javert included, and none without.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I'm afraid that I'm lacking in personal items at the moment. If money is the object, I'm sure my books would be worth quite a bit in this time. I never read the damn things, anyway.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
The stuff at the local store is barely edible, let alone anyone's favorite. I suppose it's better than the rubbish at Toulon, but only on a good day.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
That's an interesting question, as I have never heard of either of them. In any event, it would be rather hypocritical for me to go 'round butchering folks as I make a living preventing others from doing just that. Bit of a problem there.
3. What time is it where you are?
*looks up*
All of my colleagues seem to have left, and there isn't much wax left on this candle. Whatever the time is, it's ridiculously late.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Wouldn't a dead man have better things to do than molest birds?
5. If you are pushing to be in:
I trust the administration to place me where I am needed; therefore, I will answer all the questions to the best of my abilities.
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
I don't bartend, exactly, but I have visited the Cafe Musain once. Alas, spying on students hardly qualifies, especially when you are caught and tied up.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Married? Are you quite sure? In my experience, the only men who marry each other are incarcerated. Not for that, I assure you; we don't prosecute things like that here. It's only that criminals are the ones losing lady friends, so they marry each other (in prison, no less!). You'll have to ask Vidocq about this. He's batshit crazy, but his memoirs are quite informative.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
It's quite simple: someone at work has it out for you. For every paper you dispose of, another two are added by your malicious co-worker. I would suggest you find the culprit post-haste.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
There is a saying that there are twenty/fifty/one hundred men on the Paris force with Inspector Javert included, and none without.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I'm afraid that I'm lacking in personal items at the moment. If money is the object, I'm sure my books would be worth quite a bit in this time. I never read the damn things, anyway.