Comments | hogwarts_hocus: Ask Wormtongue! (Open Compy Post)

g_wormtongue in hogwarts_hocus

Ask Wormtongue! (Open Compy Post)

Jul 10, 2009 19:17

He could delay no longer. As the Hat grew impatient, its threats grew more outlandish. Gríma sat down before the "rune-box" to compose a Proclaimation. He typed slowly, hunting for every letter as he did, a translation charm filled in capital letters, punctuation, and removed archaic language.

>>Hear my words, all Men of Castle Hogwarts ( Read more... )

elric of melnibone, compy post, homestar runner, ryuk, legolas, grima wormtongue, vislor turlough, jasper hale, starman, megan gwynn

Comments 57

ringo_raver July 11 2009, 01:03:24 UTC

How much did the Sorting Hat threaten you and what is your favorite apple?

swordkeeper g_wormtongue July 11 2009, 01:08:09 UTC

A reply! Gríma sat up. Only to return to his customary slump.

"What leads you to believe I was threatened? Alas, I cannot eat apples, for they give me wind."

appleoverlord ringo_raver July 11 2009, 01:16:19 UTC

What good are you then if you can't eat apples?

Re: appleoverlord g_wormtongue July 11 2009, 01:19:57 UTC

"Surely a man is more than a device for consuming fruit." Hah, take that, strange fruit-lover.

Thread 8

anon, locked to Wormtongue and Turlough vislor_turlough July 11 2009, 01:05:46 UTC

All right, since you're in thick with that damn Hat, what would I have to do for him to grant a divorce?

Re: anon, locked to Wormtongue and Turlough g_wormtongue July 11 2009, 01:11:20 UTC

Wormtongue really wasn't sure about this one. "An unbinding? I am not yet enough "in the thick" as you say, to ask the Hat to grant boons just yet."
ANd that was the downside- he couldn't see who he was talking to. No useful blackmail information, but still perhaps he could gauge general unsatisfaction.

"You have a problem with the Hat, perhaps?"

Re: anon, locked to Wormtongue and Turlough vislor_turlough July 11 2009, 01:19:34 UTC

He forced me to marry an Earthling. I do not want this.

Re: anon, locked to Wormtongue and Turlough g_wormtongue July 11 2009, 01:22:25 UTC

He knew there were people from other planets, having met Londo. "Perhaps there are regulations, legal boundaries beyond which you may not marry?" It was unlikely, though. "If not, perhaps you could establish some regulations."

Thread 8

JHale j_whitlock July 11 2009, 03:09:08 UTC

Any non-magic blood stain removal tips you'd be willing to share? I could always use more. And not the old "use your own spit" one, as it's not my blood, and I can't produce saliva.

Re: JHale g_wormtongue July 11 2009, 03:23:33 UTC

Gríma paused to consider.
"I think you'll find potions for making meat tender will work for human blood as well as Orc blood."

thranduils_son July 11 2009, 04:13:40 UTC

((Legolas doesn't know Grima=Swordkeeper of course. I just couldn't resist, hee.))

A good friend of mine has taken it upon himself to look after a sniveling, detestable wretch of a Man. I am convinced this is a lost cause, and if the past is any indication, it is merely a matter of time before the Man in question proves himself wholly unworthy of such selfless concern and does my friend ill. It is simply in the Man's nature.

Shall I risk provoking my friend's temper and simply take this Man out to the woods and put an arrow in him, knowing it is his Fate to die by violence regardless, or do you think I should stand by my friend and be more supportive of his decision, mad though it is?

g_wormtongue July 11 2009, 15:08:16 UTC

Gríma stared at the screen speechless. Snivelling, detestable wretch had an all too familiar ring to it. Yet if he advised him to leave the man alone and let him go free, it might look suspicious.

"To attack before injury has been done would be murder. Fate is not written in granite and perhaps neither is character. I would advise you to tell your friend not to weary himself looking after his charge, but to let the poor Man live, even if you must make sure he does no harm."

Pixie my_soul_itches July 11 2009, 04:30:54 UTC

Do you believe what people say on Oprah and Dr. Phil about talking to people to deal with your trauma? Because I've been doing that for a while now and I'm not really sure it's helped yet.

Also, do you consider fruit baskets to be an appropriate thank you gift, or should I go with flowers or a gift certificate or something?

Re: Pixie g_wormtongue July 11 2009, 15:00:10 UTC

"I have not heard of these men, though talking may not heal all. Some wounds must be left to heal on their own." Or they may be used as blackmail.

As for gifts, they should be appropriate to their reciever. And gift certificates to leather goods shops seldom go amiss."

Re: Pixie my_soul_itches July 12 2009, 03:05:55 UTC

You've never heard of Oprah?! She's so cool! She gives away cars and has great advice. Or has people on her show who have great advice. If you get good at this, maybe you can see about going on! I bet she'd give you a car.

Why leather goods?

Re: Pixie g_wormtongue July 12 2009, 04:06:54 UTC

(*dies* I can see it now...and apologies for lack of crack today.
"I have not heard of this Oprah. I take it she is a soothsayer in your land?" He did not know what "cars" were, but they sounded valuable.
"Leather goods are durable and useful, however it's far better to know the person's wants before delivering a gift. A small gift chosen thoughtfully is often best. Unless you dislike the person."

Thread 6