Application for Unity (Discworld - Thief of Time)

[oneof_me]

((This application contains spoilers for Thief of Time (including the character's name, unfortunately...) ))

A woman appeared in the Sorting Room.

This was not, of course, unusual, but the way she appeared was. Most new arrivals to Hogwarts turned up in one piece. They didn't start out as a strange disturbance in the air, and a stream of

Comments

[contra_account]

"Good Lord, you're an accountant," Vesper said, astonished. "Some sort of Ur-Accountant, perhaps?"

Then she smiled slyly. "And oh yes, gold is most definitely acceptable. Especially to those of us who haven't got any at the moment."

[oneof_me]

Unity considered this. "That would be one way of putting it. Although - I was. I am no longer sure what I am."

She concentrated. A smaller cloud of matter formed, condensing into a perfectly round, blank gold coin in the palm of her hand. "There. It's - harder to do that now, for some reason, but I can still manipulate all the necessary particles."

[contra_account]

Vesper held out a hand. "No matter. As long as they'll spend, or melt down, or invest, they'll do nicely."

Then she cocked her head. "I feel for you, Unity, I do. I was an accountant myself, you see. I got dragged out of my nice safe little domain of numbers on paper and into the big bad world, and now I'm not quite certain what I am after 'accountant' either. It's most unsettling."

[oneof_me]

She handed Vesper the disk. "It will perform all those functions. I -"

She stopped talking, and dabbed at her eyes. Water was starting to run from them again - crying, that was the word, it indicated distress and seemed to be an involuntary action. She wasn't sure how to stop it from happening. "Unsettling. Yes, it is."

[anuclearwinter]

Laura doesn't read the form. She feels her position is somewhat threatened by this woman, who is (almost) as beautiful as she is, (almost) clothed as well as she is, and (almost) as rich as her. Laura's beauty is unnerving because she looks the best when she is about to order your death.

'You don't think evening dresses in the morning are just the tiniest bit...gauche?' she asks with a smile. They are, obviously, if you're not her.

[oneof_me]

"They are?" Unity looks alarmed. "I never got the hang of fashion. I apologise."

[anuclearwinter]

She's thrown completely offguard for a moment. Hang on, this isn't how it's meant to work! The other party is meant to bitch back, very civilly! Apologising is unheard of! She flounders, an expression actually crossing her face (thank you, botox), before saying:

'--I suppose you haven't seen Vogue in a while, then?'

[oneof_me]

"I don't know what that is." Her hands were twisting themselves together. She hadn't told them to, but it seemed appropriate. "Does it explain the rules around clothing? There are so many..."

[mello_n_choco]

"Why the Chocolate Bar?" I ask. There are other things on her application that I want to ask about, but this is the most amusing to me.

[oneof_me]

"Because..." she begins, and stops. Her eyes widen as she stares at the chocolate bar in his hand.

"Please put that away..." she says, faintly.

[mello_n_choco]

I glance at the chocolate bar in my hand and then back at her. "Why?"

[oneof_me]

"The temptation..." She's swaying, a little. "I - I have to resist it. I can't - die here but I... don't want to discorporate, lose control, not now. I plan to drink with Vesper. We have an arrangement."

[cardarchitect]

"The ability to solve hypothetical problems is of utmost importance if one is to develop one's brain," Near says blandly.

[oneof_me]

Unity considers this. "Probably. I was never intended to have imagination."

[cardarchitect]

"Indeed? But it's hardly imagination to analyze the facts in your possession to draw conclusions about possible outcomes."

[oneof_me]

"The facts in my possession are incomplete. There are too many things I don't understand about humanity." She sighs. "I apologise."

[omg_sunflora]

"EEK! They...they tried to stop time? But...but it's bad if time stops."

[oneof_me]

"...yes. It would have been." She bent down to look at Sunflora. "What kind of creature are you?"

[omg_sunflora]

"I'm Sunflora! I'm a Pokemon." She stood up tall so Unity can see.

[oneof_me]

"I'm Unity. I - am not sure what I am."