Comments | hogwarts_hocus: Application for Evan Ferguson; "David Blaine's Street Magic"

effing_eff in hogwarts_hocus

Application for Evan Ferguson; "David Blaine's Street Magic"

Jan 04, 2008 15:56

"Holy. Fucking. Shit, David Blaine," a voice squawked incredulously from the Hogwarts floor. He pushed himself off the floor and onto his hands and knees. "Ooh, you made a stone floor hit me in the face! Big woop, David Blaine! Big woop! Yeah, you would need effing demon magic to get me on my knees, bitch!" He then jumped up and started to bounce ( Read more... )

evan ferguson, lola sanchez, pickles, billy brennan, application, matthew, zim, fred weasley, kathryn merteuil, tinky winky, rogue

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ostianespionage January 5 2008, 03:04:10 UTC

Matthew approached the applicant... who was apparently very upset about someone named David Blaine. "Uh, you might wanna calm down. Just a little?"

ostianespionage January 5 2008, 23:49:41 UTC

"I'm going to ask you one more time," Matthew said, speaking slowly again. "Who in Saint Elimine's name is Davidblaine?" He'd decided that since Evan only ever referred to this mysterious person as the entire thing, it must actually be his given name. He didn't take the hand. "I realize that not many people come here of their own free will, but I'm one of them, and I haven't been brainwashed or whatever you think happened to me."

effing_eff January 6 2008, 01:06:19 UTC

"Ok, you know what? I am sick to death of hearing you talk about David Blaine and Britney Spears. I know they're, like, new for you, but I've been dealing with them being all up on me for the last couple months or so. You'd think being in the middle of buttfuck Scotland would give me a break. So anyways, you can just go now."

Evan waved his hands. "Buh bye."

ostianespionage January 6 2008, 01:26:12 UTC

"You were the one who brought them up. I just asked who they were. And you still haven't given me a straight answer. I have just about had it with you and your stupid obsession with some idiot you've got a grudge against and your stupid assumptions!" Matthew was fuming.

effing_eff January 7 2008, 01:39:09 UTC

Evan could have made a play on the term 'straight answer,' but Evan was a little bit too mature for that. And Evan was an effing idiot. "Ok, do I look like Wikipedia to you? Do I have, like, random stuff about the city of Jersey, Nevada written on my shoulders? Learn to Google, you mooch!"

He then blinked innocently. "Oh, and listening about my 'obsession' with David Blaine's obsession with my misery must have been so trying for you. Poor muscle baby. Honey, let me ask you... did you, at any time, start pissing my obsession with David Blaine? What? No?"

Evan waved his hand. "Then Es Tee Eff You, bitch, cause I ain't got the time to gear up my tiny violin."

Vote: SQUIB! ostianespionage January 7 2008, 02:25:50 UTC

Matthew only understood about half of this, but he figured the other half was about as pleasant. "All right, you know what? Forget it. I realize this place is insane, but I don't think you're even smart enough to be capable of using magic. Congratulations, whoever the hell you are. You've just been squibbed."

( ... )

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