It's been a queer morning for Detective Stanley Raymond Kowalski Vecchio. One minute, he's headed for a meet downtown, the next he's...covered in butter? His memory's fuzzy, and he's really hoping it's butter that's staining his jeans, and not some kinda mucas membrawhatsit. When your partner's a Mountie - a Canadian Mountie - there's always a chance of getting covered in some pretty funky stuff.
So, to review: Covered in butter (we're hoping), stumbling into some creepy stone hall straight outta Scooby Doo, and bein' cattle proded by...senior citizens? Circus folk? Really, really ugly kids?
Ray's confused. And sore - cattle prods are not good for what ails you. He reaches a bunch of tents, and the mini-dominatrixes (dominatri?) disperse. Looking around, face the very snapshot of 'Huh?', Ray finally snaps, and does the only thing he can think to do in a 'beat up and covered in weird gunk' scenario.
Lost in contemplation, Turnbull is startled to attention by the anguished shout coming from outside the tent. He peeks his head out, expecting to see another unhappy couple, but finds Detective Kowalski standing outside instead. Shocked, Turnbull somehow manages to get entangled in the flaps of the tent, mentally cursing his clumsiness, before he extricates himself and steps outside.
As usual, Turnbull can't help smiling widely at the sight of Ray, trying to ignore his inevitable, Ray-induced blush. "Detective Ve- Kowalski! I see you've returned from your trip to Chicago. Did you enjoy yourself?"
Then he registers the fact that Ray was screaming for Constable Fraser. "Oh, I'm sorry, but Constable Fraser isn't at Hogwarts at the moment. I believe he's attending to the survivors of the recent airplane crash in the Atlantic. Perhaps I can be of some service?"
Turnbull? How the heck does Turbull fit into the whole butter/midget/cattle prod mambo? Normally (see how Ray's being ironical, here?), Fraser's to blame for this kinda thing.
And hold the freaking phone, who told Turnbull it was okay to go around dropping the K-word? Ray marched over, butter and all, and fixed on the Mountie with a smile that was more threatening than friendly. "Why hello there, Constable Turnbull," he said quickly. "Nice day we're having. I don't know who this Detective Kowalski is, but if you could tell me why I'm covered in butter, that'd be-" Then, he catches the last bit of Turnbull's Welcome.
"Returned? Turnbull, I keep telling you to lay off the curling. It's warped your mind."
...and then there's more weirdness. Weirdness Ray's going to call 'Part Two'. Part Two brings on a whole new mess of huh-ing. "Hogwarts? Plane crash? Explain. Now." Ray's jaw is set in a thin line. This is the point where he'd be reaching for his gun, if one of the fugly midget folk hadn't confiscated it.
Oh, dear. He's apparently upset Ray. Turnbull visibly wilts under Ray's severe gaze. "I'm sorry, Detective Vecchio. Constable Fraser mentioned that you were on speaking terms with your friend, Detective Kowalski, again. I must have been mistaken. And I'm not sure why you're covered in butter." He was fairly sure that Constable Fraser had said Ray was no longer masquerading as Detective Vecchio, but apparently not.
At least he'd been able to make a clever save.
"Yes, returned. I hadn't spoken with you here myself, but Constable Fraser was quite sure you were here, and he of all people would know, wouldn't he?" Turnbull smiles innocently at this. Of course Fraser would know where his boyfriend was, that's just common sense. He's even feeling forgiving enough to ignore the crack against curling, just this once
( ... )
Comments 23
So, to review: Covered in butter (we're hoping), stumbling into some creepy stone hall straight outta Scooby Doo, and bein' cattle proded by...senior citizens? Circus folk? Really, really ugly kids?
Ray's confused. And sore - cattle prods are not good for what ails you. He reaches a bunch of tents, and the mini-dominatrixes (dominatri?) disperse. Looking around, face the very snapshot of 'Huh?', Ray finally snaps, and does the only thing he can think to do in a 'beat up and covered in weird gunk' scenario.
"Fraser!"
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As usual, Turnbull can't help smiling widely at the sight of Ray, trying to ignore his inevitable, Ray-induced blush. "Detective Ve- Kowalski! I see you've returned from your trip to Chicago. Did you enjoy yourself?"
Then he registers the fact that Ray was screaming for Constable Fraser. "Oh, I'm sorry, but Constable Fraser isn't at Hogwarts at the moment. I believe he's attending to the survivors of the recent airplane crash in the Atlantic. Perhaps I can be of some service?"
Reply
And hold the freaking phone, who told Turnbull it was okay to go around dropping the K-word? Ray marched over, butter and all, and fixed on the Mountie with a smile that was more threatening than friendly. "Why hello there, Constable Turnbull," he said quickly. "Nice day we're having. I don't know who this Detective Kowalski is, but if you could tell me why I'm covered in butter, that'd be-" Then, he catches the last bit of Turnbull's Welcome.
"Returned? Turnbull, I keep telling you to lay off the curling. It's warped your mind."
...and then there's more weirdness. Weirdness Ray's going to call 'Part Two'. Part Two brings on a whole new mess of huh-ing. "Hogwarts? Plane crash? Explain. Now." Ray's jaw is set in a thin line. This is the point where he'd be reaching for his gun, if one of the fugly midget folk hadn't confiscated it.
((Reposted! LJ ate half my ( ... )
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At least he'd been able to make a clever save.
"Yes, returned. I hadn't spoken with you here myself, but Constable Fraser was quite sure you were here, and he of all people would know, wouldn't he?" Turnbull smiles innocently at this. Of course Fraser would know where his boyfriend was, that's just common sense. He's even feeling forgiving enough to ignore the crack against curling, just this once ( ... )
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