Brienne hated the damned staircases at Hogwarts. They were invariably taking her places she did not want to be. Like the Slytherin common room, for example. And today, they'd taken her to the popcorn room.
She was about to turn away and head back to her room when the door opened and Jaime emerged.
She stopped walking, and stared at him for a moment in utter shock. "Jaime?" It came out hoarsely. "Are you all right?"
"I smell like fucking butter and I've got salt in my eyes, otherwise I'm just fine," he said sarcastically. "Now tell me, is my hunch right that I'm still at Hogwarts?"
Brienne was never able to deal with sarcasm particularly well, which... totally didn't explain why she ended up drawn to sarcastic people at all. "Yes," she answered simply. "You are at Hogwarts. And the butter washes off." She couldn't entirely repress a shudder of memory at her own recent unpopcorning.
"I don't believe I've heard of that house. Is it from another of Cersei's upjumped bastards? The woman hands out titles like it's going out of fashion."
Henry, tired and in a truly foul mood, wasn't expecting to run across anyone, and stopped in surprise when he found himself confronted with a young man, not much older than himself, covered in butter. Ah.
"Excuse me, but do you need any assistance?" He knew many people suffered post-popcorn memory loss, and to find oneself in Hogwarts without knowing where you were or how you got there...well, it was odd enough in the Sorting Room; it must be infinitely more bizarre in the popcorn room.
Wet rag, no; handkerchief, yes. "Here--it'll at least clean your face." He passed the young man his handkerchief, reflecting that waking up coated in butter had to be pretty high up on there on the list of 'most disgusting ways to resume consciousness'.
Jaime gladly took the handkerchief and wiped the butter from his face. "Ah, thank you," he said as he handed back the now buttery cloth. "I don't believe we've met before, have we?"
Reilly was on his way back to Slytherin when he caught the smell. Surely I'm too far from the Great Hall to be detecting dinner, he thought, then spotted the young man covered in butter. Ah. Mystery solved.
"Hullo," he said as he approached. "Spell gone wrong, I take it?"
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She was about to turn away and head back to her room when the door opened and Jaime emerged.
She stopped walking, and stared at him for a moment in utter shock. "Jaime?" It came out hoarsely. "Are you all right?"
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"I very much doubt it, actually."
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He saw a buttery man.
"Eh-oh!" Tinky Winky waved, and waited for the Narrator to tell him who or what had appeared in Hogwartstubbyland.
Instead, the Narrator said, in clipped and surprised tones:
"THIS IS DELICIOUS!"
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"It bloody well is not!," Jaime spat after he gave up on finding the Narrator.
For some strange reason, he had the urge to scream, "THIS IS CAKETOWN," at the end of that.
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"Excuse me, but do you need any assistance?" He knew many people suffered post-popcorn memory loss, and to find oneself in Hogwarts without knowing where you were or how you got there...well, it was odd enough in the Sorting Room; it must be infinitely more bizarre in the popcorn room.
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"Hullo," he said as he approached. "Spell gone wrong, I take it?"
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