Cheese and crackers, pumpkin pasties, cauldron cakes, and pies and tarts of at least a dozen varieties were laid out by house-elves along the sides of the Staff Room. And when all the staff had assembled in the chairs provided (a short chair was even provided for the Easter Bunny), Kahnooloo leapt up onto a desk at the front of the classroom and
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With a flourish, he signed his name. Let the world tremble.
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"I need a wand, too," I added. "I only have school-issue, and I am told that personally crafted and selected wands are much more effective."
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I pulled out my rather shoddy looking school-issue wand. "It hasn't achieved much for me, yet, except enable me to lock and unlock my office door, and the random drawers and cabinets and things." I laughed. "Do you have any recommendations for a new one?"
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He blibbled over to her and announced, "DaaaAAAAaaaAAAAaaaAAAA! Hi, Conrad! And now it's time for a breakdown! Kashoooooooo!"
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Of course, he wasn't the professor of idioc(e)y. That was Homestar. But Homsar forgave the mixup. A lot of people seemed to mix the two of them up, even though he thought they looked nothing alike.
"DaaaAAAAaaaAAAAaaaAAAA!" he replied. "I'm just a friendly reminder!" That should clear things up.
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The serious creeps.
Still, he hadn't had a 'real' job before, and he took it seriously. Staff meetings were a job thing, weren't they?
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"I suppose you remember the old me," he said without preamble. "The shadow-self. I am not that man. Not all of us are what we're thought to be. I think you may be one who understands that well."
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"The old you," he mused softly. "People... reset, here. So many people. It's almost as confusing as when the universe resets around you."
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"It has something akin to Transfiguration in it," Albus said. "The body transmutes into popcorn; the popcorn houses the dormant self; or does it? I taught Transfiguration here, once upon a time."
He studied the caretaker from behind his half-moon spectacles. "You'll have your own wand for certain, I think. May I ask what its components are?"
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Reclining back on the chair, the Easter Bunny promptly helped himself to the food that was nearest to him. It was probably rude to climb all over the table to reach the further plates. He wasn't entirely sure if he actually needed a wand, but it might be a good idea, anyway.
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As a TA, he figured he had every right to be at the staff meeting. Plus, professor chicks were hot.
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Over the top of the paper, he glanced from Santa to Dumbledore, and smirked slightly. "Old man? Bitch, you two could be brothers."
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"So glad you could join us, gentlemen," he beamed. "The party would be not half so bitchtastic without you."
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