Bah freaking humbug (An Unpopcorning Event)

[fullofjelly]

He hated popcorn. Unless it was chocolate covered. Or caramel. Or being thrown at the screen of a Kirsten Dunst movie. But, generally, he hated it. Stuck in your teeth, got kernels caught in your beard - messy stuff. And too salty. Not enough of a sweet kick to make it worthwhile

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[ra_tilt_chimera]

*Zel, wandering towards the Popcorn Room, is startled to be met by a rather disgruntled-looking man coming the other way. (It may be worth noting at this point that although, as a chimera, Zel had looked every day of his twenty years, being human again seems to have shaved a few years off his appearance.) He raises a hand in greeting.* Hello. *Something tells him that adding more might be a smart move.* Sir.

[fullofjelly]

Damn straight 'Sir'. Santa eyed the boy for a moment. "You're not what you seem," he grumbled, as if this fact was a personal affront. "Don't remember your name ever being on one of my lists."

Still striding down the hallway, Santa barely paused. "Know where I can find a bar around here?"

[ra_tilt_chimera]

... Why would I be on a list? I'm Zelgadiss Greywords, if that helps. Most people call me Zel.

I've heard there's one in Ravenclaw. Haven't been there myself. Or there's a couple taverns down in the village.

[fullofjelly]

Snapping his fingers at Zel, Santa sighed impatiently. "Directions, directions, shorty, before I get any older."

[tourettesbunny]

The Easter Bunny would have loved to be able to install some kind of permanent sensor device that would allow him to know where that lard ass Santa was at all times. Over the years, he'd even plotted slipping a GPS button into the fat man's alcohol - it's not like he'd notice, with the incredibly tendency to guzzle it like water.

As it was, it probably would have benefited him right now. Rounding the corner, on his way to see if he kind could find small children to annoy, the Easter Bunny stopped still in his tracks, horror, disgust and amusement crawling over his expression. (Which was a mean feat for a rabbit, when you thought about it.) Oh, pagans, Santa was here.

"Hey, Pillsbury, your reindeer get high on E and take you to the wrong place?" He called, planting his paws on his hips and trying to pretend that his fur hadn't just puffed out in surprise.

[fullofjelly]

Oh for fuck's sake. "Should have known," Santa muttered to himself before he turned around and eyed the bunny, brown furrowed. This was officially some level of hell.

"Ah, if it isn't Thumper. Don't you have some eggs to hide? Shoo, off now, hoppity-hopp or whatever the fuck cute little rhyme goes along with you." Of all the places the annoying furball had to show up, the fates would place him right in Santa's path, wouldn't they? Fuckers.

[tourettesbunny]

Bastard hadn't changed at all. But then, who'd expect him to?

"What, your sense of time a bit off, lard ass?" The Easter Bunny smoothed a paw over his ear, rolling his eyes and generally looking very condescending. "Easter was weeks, ago, bitch. And I 'accidentally' turned people into children, or switched their genders. It was bitchin'." Then, he sniffed, and screwed up his nose. "What the fuck, have you just been popcorn? Ew, dude."

((Reposted for spelling >_>))

[fullofjelly]

"Oh, I'm sorry, cotton dick. Your damn 'holiday'," he used the appropriate finger-quotes, "moves around so much. One might even think that it wasn't a real holiday at all."

He smirked a bit, striding off in a random direction. "Yeah, I was popcorn. Least I'm not chocolate coated and having sticky-faced kids biting my head off before falling into a sugar coma. Now either point me towards the nearest bar or get out of my way before I get hungry for rabbit stew. Freaking dust bunny."

[kosmosmagdalene]

Having reverted back to her typical form, KOS-MOS resumed her patrol of Hogwarts. She passed a grumpy fat man. Seeing that he was no immediate threat, she went to pass him.

[fullofjelly]

Unless KOS-MOS was carrying a keg, she got no notice from Santa. Passing her in the hallway, the man continued on. In search of beer, babes, or some combination thereof.

[wired_goddess]

Wired Lain, Omnipresent goddess adrift from her powers, was out for a stroll around the castle.

Rounding a corner she almost crashed into a hairy fat man who reeked of oil and salt.

Looking up at him with more then a frown on her face she decided that he needed to know of his misdeeds.

"Watch it, Baka" She snapped off the insult in her native Japanese simply because of familiarity.

((Baka = Stupid, moron, idiot, etc... An all purpose insult))

[fullofjelly]

Oh, for fuck's sake. Glowering down at the girl, Santa growled, in flawless Japanese, <"Watch yourself, little one. Or I'll sit on you and squash you like the annoying little bug you are.">

[wired_goddess]

((OOC - Damn, Santa is bitter))

She stood back, shock written across her face;
Till she started laughing.

<"My, you certainly misrepresent the image associated with the suit you wear.">

She continued to laugh hysterically for a while. When she had calmed down enough, she continued, albeit in Finnish.

<"So, are you Santa?">

[fullofjelly]

((LOL Yes. Yes he is.))

One eyebrow raised. <"Well, I sure as fuck's sake am not the Easter Bunny,"> he replied in Finnish, sneering. <"And the image is wrong.">

Turning, he continued to stride down the hallway. Booze was needed.

[wright_phoenix]

Phoenix stopped himself in the hall (yes, he was lost again).

"SANTA?!"

[fullofjelly]

Oh, shit. Rolling his eyes, not breaking his stride, Santa muttered, "Great. Fucking fanboy." Raising his voice, he replied, "Yes. Santa. Ho, ho, all that. Look, I'm trying to find the bar. Care to help me out?"

[wright_phoenix]

Still a bit perplexed at talking to Santa, Phoenix answered: "There's one near Ravenclaw."