Application: The Cheat (Homestar Runner)

[cheatachu_72]

((The Cheat's application has been cleared with the other HSR-muns. And with the general population of Strongbadia (though the Tire was a hold out. Pesky Tire.) Also, the italicized portions of the app are what The Cheat is actually saying. The parenthesized parts are the translation. It is up to you if your char understands The Cheat or not

Comments

[wayward_son124]

((Hehe, omg ♥ I am in love with this. And, of course, anything thrown at Dean is completely great because I love torturing this poor boy xP))

...Okay. Dean had seen a lot in his lifetime. Between werewolves, spirits, demons, mythological creatures and, fuck, even some trolls and goblins... He thought he'd seen it all before he came to this school. But, Christ, there had been that weirdo squid whatever (meaning, of course, Dr. Zoidberg) and that creepy squishy purple thing with the pudding shooting out of the phallic-shaped objects (three guesses who THAT one is)... and now... this... cat? Bear? Hunk'a cheese? Whatever this was?

All right, so maybe he hadn't seen everything.

Certainly not little, yellow, blobby cheetahs that speak in 'fneh's.

"Okay, I don't understand a single word you're saying?" he offered in a slow voice, as if he was talking to a specially educated student who hadn't quite gotten a math problem. Or some Mexican who wasn't exactly fluent in English yet. "So why don't you write--" He mimed scribbling at the air

[cheatachu_72]

((Why thank you! XD And, heh, poor Dean. The Cheat is more than happy to help out with teh torture.))

*waving of small, pudgy arms in a vaguely menacing manner*

FEH! Fneh meh fneeeh meh fee. MEH!

(Why don't YOU shut the hell up, frat boy? Before I gnaw your face off. Freaking idiot. You smell like the Poopsmith sat on your Fonzie jacket.)

*throws a bust of Van Buren at Dean*

[wayward_son124]

"HOLY sh--!"

The bust nearly hit Dean once it was thrown at him. Nearly. Years of ducking out of shit's way didn't leave him without any reflexes, after all. But still! "The hell was that for?!" he automatically yelped, eyes widening at The Cheat. "Man, you wanna land in frickin' Sparklepoo or something? I swear to fuckin' God."

[cheatachu_72]

*more arm waving*

Heh! Meh neh FNEH!

(That's right, frat boy. There's more where that came from, too.)

*shaking fist of doom*

MEH fneh meh feeehn hehm heh.

(And stop talking like you're hopped up on some low-grade weed. Or I'll stomp on your face with my new boots. That's right, my boots are awesome. Envy them, frat boy. ENVY THEM.)

[carri3_whit3]

Carrie may not know the words, but she's more than a little familiar with the tune.

"You're not very nice, are you?"

((Anything thrown at Carrie will be caught telekinetically and appropriated for a bribe. Just sayin'.))

[cheatachu_72]

*if at all possible for a foot and a half tall yellow person-thing to check someone out, it happens*

*waggling eyebrows*

Feh neh meh feeh hehmeh.

(Oh, I'm naughty all right. I'm a bad, bad The Cheat. You all up ons?)

[carri3_whit3]

She gave an airy gasp and a hand flew to her chest. "Oh. No. You. Didn't!Just do what I think you just did?!"

[cheatachu_72]

*more eyebrow wiggles*

Feh, meh heeemh heh.

(You better believe it, baby. My grill or yours?)

[squinty_tempe]

Temperance Brennan was concerned.

There was a small, yellow animal of unknown species in the Sorting Room. It seemed to resemble a type of leopard, if leopards will small, round, and yet extremely pointy all at the same time. It... it looked like a marshmallow peep. No, really. She was fascinated, of course, but at the same time... "You seem extremely infatuated with gnawing on others' faces," she commented in her very best Captain Obvious voice, hands on her hips and eyes training down on this... Peep. Thing. With a determined look. She wanted answers, obviously.

[cheatachu_72]

*another checking-out done*

*eyebrows waggled seductively*

Meh, fneh hem meeeh fenh heh.

(Would you rather I did another kind of gnawing? You know you're all up ons. I'll even get you into Bubs' on Friday night, when I DJ. That's how I roll.)

[squinty_tempe]

There was a pause, in which Brennan half-checked behind her, as if expecting Booth to be there, to confirm if, in fact, this small, unidentified, yellow thing had just ... "hit on" her. However, Booth was not at Hogwarts, and verification was not a possibility at the moment, so her hands remained on her hips, eyes trained on The Cheat.

"What is this... 'Bubs''? And what type of... 'rolling' have you been engaging in this establishment?" she asked instead, head tilted a bit. "Is it a skateboarding park? Or, oh! Maybe a go-kart racing facility?" She knew what those were! Those were fun.

[cheatachu_72]

Oh, yeah, this lady was so into him Straightening up to his full height, The Cheat waggled his eyebrows at her.

Fneh meh meh mee feh heh nnymh hy! Heh heh."

(Oh, we roll, baby. We'll roll all the way up to my place. And if you want to go-kart, I can take you on a sweet ride.)

[ostianespionage]

*Matthew looks quizzically at the Cheat. Well, well, what have we here? No, seriously, what is this guy? He approaches with due caution.* Well, you're a funny sort of a duck.

[cheatachu_72]

*eyeroll*

Feh. Neh meeh fneh.

(I'm not a duck, sparky. Maybe you should get your eyes examined before I gnaw your face off. Jerk.)

[ostianespionage]

Have you ever heard of a figure of speech, by any chance? I realize it might be a radical concept, but a lot of people use them fairly often. And the name's Matthew.

[cheatachu_72]

Meh meh fneh FEEH FNEH.

(Ever heard of my BOOT UP YOUR ASS? Yeah, and I'm The Cheat. And no, I don't want to be your friend. Back off, loser.)

*throws the bust of Van Buren at Matthew*

[mageofanima]

*Erk walks in and stares at the Cheat, dumbstruck. He's never seen anything quite like him before. With the light from the doorway behind him, he looks very feminine, and the long hair doesn't help matters.*

[cheatachu_72]

Fneh meh, nee feh meh meeeble meh.

(What are you looking at, Virgina? Yes, there really is a The Cheat. Now stop staring like an idiot before I gnaw your face off.)

[mageofanima]

What are you?

[cheatachu_72]

If a foot and a half tall yellow creature could convey a Grand Canyon style depth of shock, The Cheat managed it.

Fneh! Meh feh mee!

(Yeah, I'm The Cheat. Yeah, I'm better than you. What?)