Application: Ed [Shaun of the Dead]
((OOC: Character is taken post-movie.. Cleared with Shaun-mun.))
It had been a good life, being chained up in Shaun's shed, being able to play video games whenever he wanted. Being a zombie meant that you didn't exactly have much brain power, but Ed still remembered how to press buttons to make things on the screen make pained sounds and blow up.
But one day, Shaun had disappeared, and Ed found himself rather distraught, because the Playstation control had fallen beyond reach of his chains. Then again, maybe fate was taking a nicer turn when Ed suddenly appeared in the Sorting Room. (In fact, Shaun had even mentioned him as being chained up in his shed during his Sorting - now, the zombie ex-roommate was here!) Looking around the room, Ed made a sort of groaning, mournful noise. He'd been fed recently, so thankfully his noise didn't sound too hungry.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
The voice that suddenly boomed out was a little confusing, but some of Ed's mind was able to grasp the vague concept. Cheese. Wasn't as good as flesh. "Uuughn," he denied.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Ed had a sort of instinctual reaction to the name 'Barney', and it wasn't a good one. Unfortunately, he had no way to get his message across. But, lo! There was a paper and pen in Ed's vision, and he ambled over to grasp them clumsily. It took him a while, but eventually, he drew his answer.
3. What time is it where you are?
Ed looked confused. Time? "Nnh."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
That question went right over Ed's head, though he did manage to understand the words "dead", "member", "sexually harass" and "black". This combination of words made a rather odd presentation of subject in his slow-working mind, he decided to answer this question in interpretive body language.
First, he made the shape of a gravestone. Then, he mimed someone getting out of that grave, and thrust his hips. After that, Ed gave an awkward thumbs up. All in all, the message seemed to be: Necrophilia is okay, kids, as long as you're a zombie!
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Ed's mind automatically connected the word 'bar' (which he'd heard was like a 'pub') to the Winchester. Grunting in confusion, he attempted to mime this as well.
'Win' was described by Ed shuffling forward a few steps and flailing his arms in the air, as if crossing a finish line. 'Chest' was then indicated by Ed pointing at his chest, obviously. And 'Er', he looked a little stumped on, but then motioned a hand back and forth.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Ed turned to the paper again, and drew another picture to explain his thoughts on this highly philosophical and ethical matter. In this one, the motto of the day is possibly: Love who you want, but beware, there's always a zombie behind you!
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Smart? Paperwork? These words mean nothing to a zombie.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
And neither does the word useless. Nonetheless, Ed does a little shuffle hop-step that might be interpretive dance, the chains dangling from his wrist almost clanking in time.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you.
Ed knows the word 'bribe' - but, being a zombie, he can't exactly remember if he has anything. Slowly, he looks around, and digs in his pockets. He pulls out a whoopee cushion, a yo-yo, and a rather battered bullet shell. These fall to the ground in offering, and Ed points at them, punctuating his offer with a solid "Mmmuuugh!"
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ______E______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____E______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____E______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______E_______"
It had been a good life, being chained up in Shaun's shed, being able to play video games whenever he wanted. Being a zombie meant that you didn't exactly have much brain power, but Ed still remembered how to press buttons to make things on the screen make pained sounds and blow up.
But one day, Shaun had disappeared, and Ed found himself rather distraught, because the Playstation control had fallen beyond reach of his chains. Then again, maybe fate was taking a nicer turn when Ed suddenly appeared in the Sorting Room. (In fact, Shaun had even mentioned him as being chained up in his shed during his Sorting - now, the zombie ex-roommate was here!) Looking around the room, Ed made a sort of groaning, mournful noise. He'd been fed recently, so thankfully his noise didn't sound too hungry.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
The voice that suddenly boomed out was a little confusing, but some of Ed's mind was able to grasp the vague concept. Cheese. Wasn't as good as flesh. "Uuughn," he denied.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Ed had a sort of instinctual reaction to the name 'Barney', and it wasn't a good one. Unfortunately, he had no way to get his message across. But, lo! There was a paper and pen in Ed's vision, and he ambled over to grasp them clumsily. It took him a while, but eventually, he drew his answer.
3. What time is it where you are?
Ed looked confused. Time? "Nnh."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
That question went right over Ed's head, though he did manage to understand the words "dead", "member", "sexually harass" and "black". This combination of words made a rather odd presentation of subject in his slow-working mind, he decided to answer this question in interpretive body language.
First, he made the shape of a gravestone. Then, he mimed someone getting out of that grave, and thrust his hips. After that, Ed gave an awkward thumbs up. All in all, the message seemed to be: Necrophilia is okay, kids, as long as you're a zombie!
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Ed's mind automatically connected the word 'bar' (which he'd heard was like a 'pub') to the Winchester. Grunting in confusion, he attempted to mime this as well.
'Win' was described by Ed shuffling forward a few steps and flailing his arms in the air, as if crossing a finish line. 'Chest' was then indicated by Ed pointing at his chest, obviously. And 'Er', he looked a little stumped on, but then motioned a hand back and forth.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Ed turned to the paper again, and drew another picture to explain his thoughts on this highly philosophical and ethical matter. In this one, the motto of the day is possibly: Love who you want, but beware, there's always a zombie behind you!
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Smart? Paperwork? These words mean nothing to a zombie.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
And neither does the word useless. Nonetheless, Ed does a little shuffle hop-step that might be interpretive dance, the chains dangling from his wrist almost clanking in time.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you.
Ed knows the word 'bribe' - but, being a zombie, he can't exactly remember if he has anything. Slowly, he looks around, and digs in his pockets. He pulls out a whoopee cushion, a yo-yo, and a rather battered bullet shell. These fall to the ground in offering, and Ed points at them, punctuating his offer with a solid "Mmmuuugh!"
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ______E______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____E______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____E______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______E_______"