Application for Chance Matthews Silvey (Threshold and Low Red Moon)
Application for Chance Matthews Silvey (Threshold and Low Red Moon by Caitlin R. Kiernan. Low Red Moon came out in 2003, so I reckon the statute of limitations on spoilers is well past. There are no spoilers here for the latest novel, Daughter of Hounds, which only just came out. Nor are there any for Alabaster.)
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
That's ... an interesting question. I've had so much cheese at boring wine-and-cheese receptions that I'd just as soon pass on it, thanks.
This can't be real. There is no afterlife. And if there were one, they sure as hell wouldn't be asking me about cheese.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I wouldn't kill either one of them, if they're really Barney and really Carrottop. Sometimes things aren't what they look like. If it were a thing pretending to be Barney or Carrottop, I'd shoot it. Whichever one was within range would be first.
3. What time is it where you are?
It's Halloween night. Well, wait. To answer that question I need to know where I am. And I don't. So, I can't tell you what time it is where I am.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
What the hell kind of sick question is that? Sexual harassment isn't funny. Anyway, I'm a married woman. I wouldn't harass anyone. Or I was a married woman. I'm not sure what verb tense I should be using.
... What do you mean, 'returned from the dead?'
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
I don't know what Slytherin is. I'd just as soon not have anything to do with bars, thanks. Deacon doesn't need any more help than he's probably already getting. If I did tend a bar, you can bet your ass I wouldn't be tending it in the dark. All the lights would be blazing. Consider it a new kind of atmosphere, ambience, whatever.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be, bucko. Deacon once accused me of marrying him so I wouldn't have to live alone. God, I can't believe I'm telling you this.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
You can't get enough funding to hire a graduate assistant who'll take care of it for you, maybe. Join the club.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I'm a professor of geology, a paleontologist by training. Or I was. That verb tense problem again ... Anyway. Credentials -- well, I've discovered and named a new species of prehistoric amphibian, Megalopseudosuchus alabamaensis, and wrote it up in the Journal of Vertebrate Paleontology. That might count for something. Also, I'm a decent lecturer, I'd like to think. And I can tell off a creationist heckler if need be.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I ... I don't seem to have anything with me. A coin for the ferryman? Tell me what you want and I'll try to think if I know a way to get it, somehow.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. CMS
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. CMS.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. CMS.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. CMS
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
That's ... an interesting question. I've had so much cheese at boring wine-and-cheese receptions that I'd just as soon pass on it, thanks.
This can't be real. There is no afterlife. And if there were one, they sure as hell wouldn't be asking me about cheese.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I wouldn't kill either one of them, if they're really Barney and really Carrottop. Sometimes things aren't what they look like. If it were a thing pretending to be Barney or Carrottop, I'd shoot it. Whichever one was within range would be first.
3. What time is it where you are?
It's Halloween night. Well, wait. To answer that question I need to know where I am. And I don't. So, I can't tell you what time it is where I am.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
What the hell kind of sick question is that? Sexual harassment isn't funny. Anyway, I'm a married woman. I wouldn't harass anyone. Or I was a married woman. I'm not sure what verb tense I should be using.
... What do you mean, 'returned from the dead?'
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
I don't know what Slytherin is. I'd just as soon not have anything to do with bars, thanks. Deacon doesn't need any more help than he's probably already getting. If I did tend a bar, you can bet your ass I wouldn't be tending it in the dark. All the lights would be blazing. Consider it a new kind of atmosphere, ambience, whatever.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be, bucko. Deacon once accused me of marrying him so I wouldn't have to live alone. God, I can't believe I'm telling you this.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
You can't get enough funding to hire a graduate assistant who'll take care of it for you, maybe. Join the club.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I'm a professor of geology, a paleontologist by training. Or I was. That verb tense problem again ... Anyway. Credentials -- well, I've discovered and named a new species of prehistoric amphibian, Megalopseudosuchus alabamaensis, and wrote it up in the Journal of Vertebrate Paleontology. That might count for something. Also, I'm a decent lecturer, I'd like to think. And I can tell off a creationist heckler if need be.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I ... I don't seem to have anything with me. A coin for the ferryman? Tell me what you want and I'll try to think if I know a way to get it, somehow.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. CMS
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. CMS.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. CMS.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. CMS