Application for Sniper/Mister Snippy from Romantically Apocalyptic
This was new. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been in a building that was fully intact, devoid of corpses and free of irradiated monsters. Even now--with a ridiculous cancer-purse and a gas mask still habitually in place--it actually made him feel some measure of... hope.
State your full name.
"I'm called... Mr. Snippy." By one person but it's not like there were such things as legal names anymore. That was as close to a full name as he had.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Anything that isn't lethally radioactive." Which got interesting when the Captain wanted to share.
Actually, on that note, it sounded a little too much like the Captain was the one who picked these questions.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Well Carrottop sounds like he would at least be more visible."
3. What time is it where you are?
"... daytime? That's... really all I can tell you."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"Oh dear god--Captain, you did write these didn't you? Are these new in-joke codenames or something? Because I've told you before I'm not telling you anything about my sex life!"
That 'what are you wearing?' call was bad enough, seriously.
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"The White Death."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"If these are more 'clever' code names, they make no sense. Besides, I'm pretty sure most myths end with any humans getting screwed over so it never matters anyway."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"What paperwork? Do you mean the list? If you mean the list it's because it's a roll and you kept adding to it! And rolling off the desk does not mean you dispose of it!"
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"I am a sniper. We have been over this. Repeatedly."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"It needs to be an item? I can draw some maps of the wasteland--I know the place pretty well."
Before and after the nuclear holocaust. He was a 'tour guide' and did his job well before things went idisturbing and irradiated new directions.
("I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____MS_____
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____MS_____.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ____MS_____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____MS______")
State your full name.
"I'm called... Mr. Snippy." By one person but it's not like there were such things as legal names anymore. That was as close to a full name as he had.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Anything that isn't lethally radioactive." Which got interesting when the Captain wanted to share.
Actually, on that note, it sounded a little too much like the Captain was the one who picked these questions.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Well Carrottop sounds like he would at least be more visible."
3. What time is it where you are?
"... daytime? That's... really all I can tell you."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"Oh dear god--Captain, you did write these didn't you? Are these new in-joke codenames or something? Because I've told you before I'm not telling you anything about my sex life!"
That 'what are you wearing?' call was bad enough, seriously.
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"The White Death."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"If these are more 'clever' code names, they make no sense. Besides, I'm pretty sure most myths end with any humans getting screwed over so it never matters anyway."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"What paperwork? Do you mean the list? If you mean the list it's because it's a roll and you kept adding to it! And rolling off the desk does not mean you dispose of it!"
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"I am a sniper. We have been over this. Repeatedly."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"It needs to be an item? I can draw some maps of the wasteland--I know the place pretty well."
Before and after the nuclear holocaust. He was a 'tour guide' and did his job well before things went idisturbing and irradiated new directions.
("I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____MS_____
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____MS_____.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ____MS_____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____MS______")