Since arriving at Hogwarts, Codex had seen weird stuff. A lot of weird stuff, including a talking fish, a talking horse, a talking hat, and two naked people, one of whom had kissed her.
She still wasn't used to it. Seeing a robot guy was still very, very weird.
Her eyes fixed on his metal hand. It looked like something out of a movie. "You have a metal hand," she said, sounding slightly dazed.
She tore her eyes away from his hand and blushed bright red, wishing to do nothing more than melt through the floor. "Sorry," she mumbled. "It's just kind of... there. And... metal. I don't--I don't usually see that... um, anywhere, really. Usually they're just, like... rubber thingies. Or metal hooks." She shook her head with a panicky half-laugh. "Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just--gah. Sorry."
Later Marcus might feel like a jerk, but he was still mad and confused.
"You know, people are telling me that it's going to get weird here, except that this isn't even the first time I've come back from the dead in a strange place and with no fucking clue of what's going on," he said angrily. "Now I'm some science experiment, and I've fucking died again and come back. So I guess I should be happy that I've still got a metal hand, because what's next? Three eyes? Green skin? I'm sick of this."
This was not quite computing. When people died in-game, she could rez them, sure. She played a priest, it was kind of her job.
Not so much in real life. In real life, dead people tended to stay dead, except when popcorn companies got it in their heads to make commercials where their long-dead mascot listened to an MP3 player. And that was just creepy.
This guy did not look like a creepy popcorn mascot.
Codex froze, an expression on her face that was trying to be a nervous smile but failing miserably. "D-dead? What? I don't... seriously?!"
Could he be a robot zombie? This place had talking animals and nymphs, so who was to say it couldn't have robot zombies? Codex suddenly wished very much to be back in her room, where it was close and quiet and safe.
Dying in 2003 had its benefits, like missing out on the horrible spectacle that was Orville Redenbacher.
"Yeah, dead. You know, lethal injection?" He pantomimed injecting something into his elbow. "That was the first time. I gave my body to this doctor, and she said that I could have a second chance to live, but they don't give second chances to cop killers. I'm not that stupid. But you know what? I got a second chance. And that second chance was finding out that the world had been destroyed and the doctor had turned me into a goddamn machine. I don't even want to know what happened this time."
Codex felt suddenly ill. So maybe if he'd been like... run over by a train, that would be a good excuse for a robot hand. Lethal injection was... scary. No, it was terrifying. That was what they did to people who killed other people. And he said he was a cop killer.
Eep.
"So... uh, for what it's worth? I'm pretty sure the world hasn't been destroyed. I mean... it's kind of hard to tell from here, because it's already really weird, but... well, there's magic!" She brightened, a little desperately, because surely magic would keep the machine guy from killing her! "And not like... mana points magic. Wave a wand turn coffee cups into baby chickens magic."
Could robot guys do magic? She supposed he'd find out.
"I don't know if I'd go so far as 'wonderful,' but..." She cleared her throat, unable to look at him. "I'm--um, I'm kind of new here. I don't actually know any magic yet." She brightened suddenly, still not looking at him. "I have a wand, though!" She pulled it out of the inside of her jacket and held it out. It wasn't very impressive--just a plain, dark stick, really. "There's supposed to be a unicorn hair inside of it," she said, suddenly feeling like an idiot.
Marcus looked at her like she was stupid. "Somebody gave you a stick and said there was unicorn hair in it, and you believed them?" He saw her as a mark, somebody who was either too dumb or naive to know when a deal was too good to be true.
"Ever try to open it up?" He could do that for her.
Okay, that made her look at him. She clutched her wand protectively and slid it back into her jacket. "It would make about as much sense as anything does around here," she snapped. "And besides, if giant silver talking horses and... weird little bat-eared guys wearing embroidered napkins... exist, then why the hell couldn't unicorns?"
A weak argument and she knew it, but man, the guy was being kind of a jerk. Then again, he was dead twice over and a robot to boot. She softened a little, because that had to be some kind of excuse. "No, I haven't," she said, less defensively. "I don't think I could put it back together if I did. If it is real, I'm not sure superglue and duct tape would fix that."
When she looked up at him again, he was surprised that she was pissed. He knew he was being a jerk, but he was used to being around people who had either long stopped listening to him, or had toughened up to the point where nothing he could say could make an impact.
He'd forgotten what it was like to hurt somebody's feelings.
In his first life he wouldn't have cared, but his short second life had made him realize that he could be more than scum. "Sorry." he said. "I guess you'll find out if it's real when you learn some magic."
"Yeah, well," she mumbled. "I guess. And, um... I guess you will too. I'm supposed to vote you somewhere, and I don't really get why, but... anyway, did any of those stupid questions about Houses sound like anywhere you wanted to go?"
He wasn't witty, smart, and could care less about Harry, Fred, and George. "Hufflepuff? Is that a good place for assholes with no brains and no social skills?"
"I, uh... I don't really know. They have a convenience store in there, though. Except they call it a 'food libraries.'" She pursed her lips, still trying to puzzle that one out. "Anyway. If you want to go there, I'll vote you there. It's, um... it's really not that bad here, even if they don't even have dial-up. The castle's actually kind of awesome, and there's a lake with a monster living in it." Codex had actually never gone out to see if it was really there, but she'd heard about it. Some sort of tentacle monster or something, which seemed enough reason to avoid it.
"Great, I'll be able to get a snack when I get hungry." The sarcasm wasn't directed at her.
"Do they let people go wherever they want in the castle? Can you walk around and do whatever you want?" After years in prison and a few days running for his life, he wasn't sure what he would do with no restrictions and no imminent danger.
She still wasn't used to it. Seeing a robot guy was still very, very weird.
Her eyes fixed on his metal hand. It looked like something out of a movie. "You have a metal hand," she said, sounding slightly dazed.
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"You have working eyes." He was not impressed. "Anything else we need to get out on the table?"
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"You know, people are telling me that it's going to get weird here, except that this isn't even the first time I've come back from the dead in a strange place and with no fucking clue of what's going on," he said angrily. "Now I'm some science experiment, and I've fucking died again and come back. So I guess I should be happy that I've still got a metal hand, because what's next? Three eyes? Green skin? I'm sick of this."
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Not so much in real life. In real life, dead people tended to stay dead, except when popcorn companies got it in their heads to make commercials where their long-dead mascot listened to an MP3 player. And that was just creepy.
This guy did not look like a creepy popcorn mascot.
Codex froze, an expression on her face that was trying to be a nervous smile but failing miserably. "D-dead? What? I don't... seriously?!"
Could he be a robot zombie? This place had talking animals and nymphs, so who was to say it couldn't have robot zombies? Codex suddenly wished very much to be back in her room, where it was close and quiet and safe.
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"Yeah, dead. You know, lethal injection?" He pantomimed injecting something into his elbow. "That was the first time. I gave my body to this doctor, and she said that I could have a second chance to live, but they don't give second chances to cop killers. I'm not that stupid. But you know what? I got a second chance. And that second chance was finding out that the world had been destroyed and the doctor had turned me into a goddamn machine. I don't even want to know what happened this time."
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Eep.
"So... uh, for what it's worth? I'm pretty sure the world hasn't been destroyed. I mean... it's kind of hard to tell from here, because it's already really weird, but... well, there's magic!" She brightened, a little desperately, because surely magic would keep the machine guy from killing her! "And not like... mana points magic. Wave a wand turn coffee cups into baby chickens magic."
Could robot guys do magic? She supposed he'd find out.
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"Ever try to open it up?" He could do that for her.
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A weak argument and she knew it, but man, the guy was being kind of a jerk. Then again, he was dead twice over and a robot to boot. She softened a little, because that had to be some kind of excuse. "No, I haven't," she said, less defensively. "I don't think I could put it back together if I did. If it is real, I'm not sure superglue and duct tape would fix that."
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He'd forgotten what it was like to hurt somebody's feelings.
In his first life he wouldn't have cared, but his short second life had made him realize that he could be more than scum. "Sorry." he said. "I guess you'll find out if it's real when you learn some magic."
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"Do they let people go wherever they want in the castle? Can you walk around and do whatever you want?" After years in prison and a few days running for his life, he wasn't sure what he would do with no restrictions and no imminent danger.
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