How walking on a structure not meant to bear weight that arches above people walking and sitting below it, and is followed up with an arrest for reckless behavior warrants your friends to crown you their hero. Sorry not sorry but you're a fucking idiot. At 27 years old you shouldn't be putting other people's lives at risk for your stupidity. I hope ( Read more... )

geezus fucking christ, you CANNOT whine about how you feel guilty about buying eyeliner when you're broke as shit and then complain about how you have friends who whine that they're soo poor but drinking all the time buying shit, etc, and whine about how you NEED new sneakers but just dropped a hundred bucks on your fucking tattoo. please tell me ( Read more... )

I'm due for my depo shot soon, and I have a dr's appointment on Thursday to get my refill. my womb is trying to make shark week happen and I think the rest of my body is like "what the fuck are you doing downstairs, knock it off." I'm really cutting it close with being irresponsible with this shot thing right now but my regular doctor gets pissy ( Read more... )

you know someone is a piece of shit when they continue to follow you on tumblr and other social networking sites after writing you off, calling you a "fucking bitch" and telling you to never talk to them again but go out of the way to reblog something you reblogged but do so by going to the original source just so they aren't reblogging it from you ( Read more... )

biffle tried to ask me out on a date and I was like:
we can go to the movies when I'm free but it's not a date...
and he was like "why?"
apparently if I don't talk about matt every goddamn day I'm single...
had to break his pathetic heart.
seriously your fucking timing dude...all the fucking time.
always only trying to go after me when I'm

the fact that you still don't have a job makes me laugh.
so glad we're not friends anymore.
also maybe if you put as much effort into finding a job
as you do taking pictures of yourself day drinking from a sippy cup
you might have a job.

oh and also to youit's sad/hilarious that you just noticed what binge drinking does to your body ( Read more... )

you know what's kind of sad. one of my sister's personalities is faker than the other's breasts. and the only sister I actually like is the one I didn't grow up with. 

please explain...
...why I'm going to start ignoring your texts.
you've got abs for days
you're hung like a fucking horse
you don't need to keep begging for sex
our fwb agreement is hardly still valid
please just stop
you're embarrassing yourself now
I'm seriously gunna need to find you a gf.
(not like that's stopped you before)

my brother just found out his friends... his only friends it seemed are a shady, shitty group of people ( Read more... )

I used to watch Arrested Development when it aired, used to tell all my friends it was the best fucking show ever, and it was hilarious. Only like 3 people listened to me because they came over every week to watch it with me. One day this thing called netflix happened and suddenly all my friends won't shut up about this amazingly hilarious show: ( Read more... )