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Comments 3396
While on the quest Bilbo became sexually involved with one of the dwarves, this was alright as even when there was no privacy, due to dwarven nature they could still have sex near the company, sometimes even putting on a show for the others.
That is until the dwarves were imprisoned by the elves and Bilbo could no longer have sex with his dwarf. During this time Bilbo became sick. After the dwarves were all freed and in Lake town Bilbo and his dwarf set about trying to make Bilbo better.
PROBLEM
Bilbo needs to be buggered more times then his dwarf can give him
SOLUTION
Let the company members have a turn
RESULT
Bilbo ends up fine (and probably the company bicycle)
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For this All Stars Season, Ru has a particulary tough challenge. Hairy, chubby dwarves with huge noses, ears and other huge things that make tucking difficult (or easy?)
Of course everyone wants to get paired up with Fíli, Kíli, Thorin etc, but in the end one of the older, hairier dwarfs turn out to be looking the fishiest. :)
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Que the unmarried dwarves competing against each other to show Bilbo who will be the best to father his child
Don't particularly mind who ends up with Bilbo, nor if any other pairins crop up
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"The sweet honey that sticks them together"
"It might look a bit odd from the outside, but Dwalin and Bilbo and Nori have a relationship that works for them, and they couldn't be happier.
Enjoy this one-shot of some established-relationship porn."
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Optional:
can be before or after the war with voldemort
male or female Harry
if Harry still has his powers
If Harry turns into a dwarf/hobbit or stays human
if Harry goes back to the other world after the quest
if any pairings
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