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Que the unmarried dwarves competing against each other to show Bilbo who will be the best to father his child
Don't particularly mind who ends up with Bilbo, nor if any other pairins crop up
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Bilbo eyes the dwarf warily. "Are you alone?"
Thorin nods. He has a small smile on his lips as he sits next to the hobbit.
"Gandalf is trying to calm them down."
"He's a bit late for that," grumbles Bilbo.
"He's only doing it because Gloin and Bombur have asked him to," admits Thorin. "I think he was enjoying himself quite a lot. He might have bruised a lung under the strain of restraining his laughter, when Oin claimed he was an amazing lover."
Bilbo hides in his hands. Oh, how glad he is that he ran away before hearing that part of the argument!
"They are all demented. Even Balin!" he says. "Even Balin, Thorin ( ... )
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Okay, I go away now...
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*girds myself for the angst*
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Poor Bilbo... but I loved Thorin's surprise ^^
"Even Balin, Thorin!'
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