I really like this, it's so well written, all Daniel/Jesse's thoughts, and they work well in the context of the scene we all saw.
I've always wanted to write this myself, but I could never think of a way to explain Duncan not knowing Jesse was pre-Immortal. Have you made it an AU? Or did you come up with a different explanation?
My explaination to myself was that Duncan did know - and he was trying to keep Jesse from doing something that would get him killed violently. And that he couldn't get close to Jesse after he died trying to help the miners, because Jesse's father blamed him for Jesse getting involved
( ... )
Oh, and I forgot to say thank you for the comment, and I'm glad the thoughts and such work so well. I wasn't quite certain about the flow of some of them (and I won't say which, 'cause I'm very nit-picky about my own work, and it's not good form to tell readers that aren't beta-readers the flaws I think are there in my own work).
Oh, this was lovely! I really liked the way that Daniel/Jesse's thoughts added a new depth to the scene -- you did a fantastic job with it! Thanks so much for posting.
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I've always wanted to write this myself, but I could never think of a way to explain Duncan not knowing Jesse was pre-Immortal. Have you made it an AU? Or did you come up with a different explanation?
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I really hope you do continue this, it's a great concept.
Damn those bunnies! Sounds like a good one though. *grin*
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