I haven't decided if this is merely a one-time appearance or if we have a new major canon character joining the story permanantly. Any thoughts
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(So glad I took a break from packing to check this!)
I like the cameo appearance from Connor. I'm not sure, but I think it just turned me into a Connor/Faith shipper, even though their phone conversation wasn't shippy in the least.
I always thought that, were Eliza Dushku able to stay on the show for any extended period of time, a Faith/Connor relationship would be interesting -- but mostly because Vincent Kartheiser is a great actor and Eliza Dushku could produce creepy sexual tension with just about anyone. It would just be the whole Creepy Lovers thing, pretty nifty.
I'm glad you dug the chapter. Enjoy the vacation, I'm sure I'll have something new up when you get back.
Introducing Connor was a good way to spread the news about Angel & Co. He could be an interesting addition to the group if you can convincingly get him to Cleveland without disrupting the rest of story.
I actually wasn't a Connor fan until his appearances in Season 5. The whole Connor/Cordy thing felt icky to me. Since I was a Cordy fan, I of course blamed it all on him.
Thanks. Connor was the only one I could think of that could legitimately know what happened, and would have any sort of reason to want to contact one of the Scoobies. I just couldn't convince myself Lorne would, you know? He's going away from all that, whereas I think Connor might be going more toward it.
I have a couple ideas of how I could get Connor more into the story, but it won't be in The Twins -- I already have this story plotted out to the end. Maybe the next one (I think Of Those Chosen will end up being a trilogy, about equal in length to three novellas).
I liked teenage Connor in Season Three. Vincent Kartheiser is just so wonderfully creepy when he wants to be.
One thing- I liked the comparisons you were trying to make in the section where you describe Faith breaking down, but I found the the repeated use of the word sob & its variations in such a short section distracting. You could substitute weep, bawl, wail, whimper, tear etc. I know it's too late for this part, but it's something you might want to watch out for in the future.
Other than that, it was a good part. More soon please!
I found the the repeated use of the word sob & its variations in such a short section distracting.
Aw, damn. Sorry. I was trying to use the same word so as to make it transparent -- like how, if you just use "said" all the time instead of different words that are a bit more specific, the word just becomes transparent and you skip over it and only pay attention to who was talking.
And it's never too late -- I mean, I went back and fixed the eye problem you pointed out before. I'm all about the fixing and the reposting. It's never too late to make my story better, methinks. I love critical feedback (you know, the "well, this didn't work for me and here's why" type); thanks for posting that. I'll see what I can do with that part.
Well, you just made me get all teary at Faith's reaction to the news of Angel. And I'm glad you went the way you did, instead of having them miraculously survive. Good deal.
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(So glad I took a break from packing to check this!)
I like the cameo appearance from Connor. I'm not sure, but I think it just turned me into a Connor/Faith shipper, even though their phone conversation wasn't shippy in the least.
Can't wait for the next part!
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I'm glad you dug the chapter. Enjoy the vacation, I'm sure I'll have something new up when you get back.
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I actually wasn't a Connor fan until his appearances in Season 5. The whole Connor/Cordy thing felt icky to me. Since I was a Cordy fan, I of course blamed it all on him.
Reply
I have a couple ideas of how I could get Connor more into the story, but it won't be in The Twins -- I already have this story plotted out to the end. Maybe the next one (I think Of Those Chosen will end up being a trilogy, about equal in length to three novellas).
I liked teenage Connor in Season Three. Vincent Kartheiser is just so wonderfully creepy when he wants to be.
Reply
One thing- I liked the comparisons you were trying to make in the section where you describe Faith breaking down, but I found the the repeated use of the word sob & its variations in such a short section distracting. You could substitute weep, bawl, wail, whimper, tear etc. I know it's too late for this part, but it's something you might want to watch out for in the future.
Other than that, it was a good part. More soon please!
Reply
Aw, damn. Sorry. I was trying to use the same word so as to make it transparent -- like how, if you just use "said" all the time instead of different words that are a bit more specific, the word just becomes transparent and you skip over it and only pay attention to who was talking.
And it's never too late -- I mean, I went back and fixed the eye problem you pointed out before. I'm all about the fixing and the reposting. It's never too late to make my story better, methinks. I love critical feedback (you know, the "well, this didn't work for me and here's why" type); thanks for posting that. I'll see what I can do with that part.
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Everything I give you to read lately makes you teary! I need to stop that. Soon, there will be funny fic!
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