Of Those Chosen: The Twins - Chapter 18

[hjcallipygian]

Only one more chapter to go, and this is done.

What a crazy thought. I started this story before I started this Live Journal, even. It'll be strange not having The Twins as my big WIP, but I'll still have two more stories' worth of travels in this post-Chosen universe to keep me company. I'm really interested to see your reactions to both this

Comments

[anonymous]

Like how it came full circle in that it was Katharine that had to stake Audrey in the end. Especially how the entire first chapter was about how Katharine felt as she stood there waiting for her father to turn off Audrey's life support.

Was impressed by how you made it believeable for Cole to escape... both Xander and Faith would care more about their fallen comrade than about ensuring the vampire dies... tho of course now there's gonna be a lot of pissed-off Slayers after him...

Can't wait to see how you finish this story... and what cliffhanger you leave us with before the next one.

Mike

[hjcallipygian]

Thanks! I'm glad Cole's escape worked for you. I figured I was walking a fine line between "concern for comrade" and "going beserk and killing vampire without concern for self" as Xander's reaction, but with his guilt over Audrey (even though that wasn't his fault) he would lean more toward the former.

Finn Mac Cool

[anonymous]

I would have reviewed this (as well as chapter 17) sooner except I've taken something of a break from reading fanfic (the number of writers who can't even manage a decent summary not to mention a story is just too many). However this story is a bright spot of sunshine in the fanfiction world. Lots of action and angst going on. Is there some reason why the Scythe was less effective, or was Donner just a really strong vampire? I thought the way that Katharine staked Audrey was great, though, since it's been three chapters since we've seen Audrey it would have been nice if there was just some sort of reminiscence about her. Liked Katharine's thoughts about expecting another miracle though, as well as Faith bringing out "Lite Beer" again at the end. One question that's been eating at me, though, is why did Cole do all this? I mean, I get that he's a vampire and so likes to do bad things, but it just seemed odd that you did a good job characterizing him (the whole desire for knowledge thing) but without ever really giving him a

Re: Finn Mac Cool

[hjcallipygian]

If you look on the home page for my LJ (hjcallipygian), there's a links section entited "Current Fanfic Readings (WIPs)". That's all the stuff I'm reading right now (minus whatever I forgot to put up, because I'm one of the most forgetful persons I know, so if something isn't up there that you know I read it's probably just an oversight). If you aren't reading any of those, I suggest them -- even the Bat!fic doesn't require a whole lot of knowledge (took me about three stories and forty-five minutes on Google to figure out who Dinah Lance and Black Canary were).

Anyway. =)

Thanks so much! I'm really glad you're still liking this. I figured you just got caught up in end-of-semester projects and that's why I hadn't heard from you in a while.

There is a reason the Scythe was less effective (after you commented on its conspicuous absence, I worked it into the existing storyline). It'll be hinted at in the final chapter, and confirmed as fact by the end of the second story.

One question that's been eating at me, though, is why did Cole do all this?

[empressvesica]

While on one hand, I certainly feel for Xander at this moment...this is really something he is going to have to deal with and move on. It really is the way of the world, of the life he has chosen.

There is a poetic beauty in Katherine being the one to kill Audrey. Not to be morbidly romantic, but it does seem right that they should die together.

[hjcallipygian]

Yeah, it is something he has to learn to deal with. But it's not somethign he will easily learn to deal with, I don't think. He's not the type of guy to accept a reality he doesn't like well at all. He rants, angsts, avoids, etc. So... yeah. =)

[francis_eugene]

Wow again!

Tense writing (as in your ability to maintain the tension throughout the fight). Somehow I thought one of the twins would make, but I guess you're not one for happy sappy endings. Not having read on yet, it's obvious Faith and Robin are done for, as well as his friendship with Xander, but I think Robin is mature enough (from his attitude during both the show and as portrayed in this story) not to hold a grudge against Xander. Well, not for long, anyway.

Here and there are a few typos and a couple of awkward sentences, e.g.

"Cole watched Katharine die from the shadows" (almost sounds like the shadows killed Katharine)

But otherwise excellent mechanics.

[hjcallipygian]

*cringes* Oh, man. You're totally right about dying from the shadows. That's a prime example of poor prepositional phrase placement. I'll do a quick edit on that sentence.

Again, thank you so much for the feedback on this story. I've really enjoyed reading it.

[kittycat22]

You know, you really write Xander very well. I love how this fic might be titled The Twins, but it's really completely about Xander and Faith more than anyone else-- a bit of Giles, too, I guess, but mostly it's all X/F. I didn't even know you *were* an X/F shipper. Are you really or just writing it very well?

Great climax here, the action is well-written: not over or under detailed. Looking forward to the Robin/Faith/Xander explosion coming soon!

[hjcallipygian]

Heh. I don't really ship anyone in the Buffyverse (except maybe Connor and Dawn, a tiny bit). But I think that, for Xander and Faith to work together, there's a lot to overcome, and that kind of writing challenge is really interesting to work through. And I wouldn't say the story is X/F, so much as it's a Xander-Faith friendship story and they're both pretty sexual people. I guess. Maybe. Probably not, fuck, I dunno. I usually describe it as, "Shit happens, and a lot of people die."

[kittycat22]

Hrmm. I stated that badly. I did not mean that this was a Xander/Faith relationship story, I meant this seems more about the two of them and their personal developments, and the shippiness of them was written well, too.

Anyway, I loved it and am now off to re-read and catch up on The Dreamless.