Of Those Chosen: The Twins - Chapter Fourteen

[hjcallipygian]

This one came pretty quickly. I had the estimated publication date at October 9th -- I just left that the same for chapter fifteen. I have the rest of this story plotted out and scenes already blocked in the directing sense of it, dialogue outlined (there's a great confrontation between Faith and Donner I'm just dying to write, but it's in chapter

Comments

[liptonrm]

GAH! That cliffhanger just killed me! See, I'm there at the bottom of the ravine all mashed and gooey because you pushed me off!

Great chapter, HJ. I love how Dawn and Connor are both going to the same school (at least, I think they said that Connor was going to Stanford). I love Giles's reaction to Lord of the Rings and how he's insisting that Helen read them (and how cool is it that Giles has an assigned book list for his slayers?). Now I get to dream about having a movie vs. book debate with Giles. That would be so sweet.

But Helen! WAH! That poor girl, faced with an impossible choice. I hated Cole before but I really, really hate him now. The suspense is absolutely killer and I'm waiting with baited breath to see what happens next.

dawn & connor

[hjcallipygian]

Thank you! I'm really glad you liked this chapter.

Yeah, Connor goes to Stanford. He's a year ahead of Dawn; this'll be his second year (at least, his second year really there; it might be his third in the fake-timeline).

I actually came up with the idea for this scene near the very beginning, and Helen was written with this confrontation in mind the entire time. I've actually included foreshadowing for a pretty good amount of stuff in the first ten or so chapters. I do feel pretty bad for the poor girl, though.

Re: dawn & connor

[midnightsjane]

OK, I'm down at the bottom of that big cliff you just pushed us over...a little bandaging might be in order...You are truly evil, making us all wait for the next chapter. Are you taking lessons on angst from Joss? ;P
Great chapter, and poor canon fodder Helen. I love that Giles loves LOTR. It is my very favourite book ever.
Ohh, Connor and Dawn at Stanford! I am a Connor/Dawn shipper in my secret heart. Those two kids share so much, made up lives and all.

Re: dawn & connor

[hjcallipygian]

I am a Connor/Dawn shipper in my secret heart.

I think it would be a very interesting pairing, and fun to write -- I'm actually the one who wrote the Dawn/Connor piece at buffyverse1000 -- but I doubt there will be much of a 'shipper element in this story. Not positive, though. Could change my mind. =P

poor canon fodder Helen. I love that Giles loves LOTR. It is my very favourite book ever.

You know, this is going to sound horrible, but... I just hated the LOTR books. Can't get past the first 200 pages. Tolkein has too much attention to details that I don't care about -- personally, I'm convinced that the part in Monty Python and the Holy Grail where they're reading about the Holy Hand-Grenade of Antioch and the book keeps going on about the food they ate until the priest says to "...skip a bit..." is a knock on LOTR and the scene where the hobbits lay out their feast with the elves. Or whenever it was; the whole scene made my eyes glaze over

Finn Mac Cool

[anonymous]

Yet another good chapter HJ. Cole's plan for getting him and his guys into the house was a really good idea, and certainly builds up the threat factor (although I've gotta wonder what they're gonna do when they get inside since it's got quite a few Slayers inside, not to mention one very powerful witch).

However, near the beginning, you made one grammatical mistake (a "was" where a "were" should be) and a repitition of the word "all" that kinda interrupts the flow.

Glad to hear that you plan to have the next chapter up soon, as that cliffhanger leaves me aching for more.

Ciao!

Re: Finn Mac Cool

[hjcallipygian]

not to mention one very powerful witch

Actually, Willow's gone home by that point. I'll make that a bit more clear...

I debated for a while whether that should be a was or a were there... I'm still not convinced that was is incorrect, but I think it sounds better with a were so I'm going to change it. =)

I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. I didn't get a chance to write at lunch today, which was lame. Still, I think the next chapter should be done by next weekend easily.

Re: Finn Mac Cool

[hpchick]

Next weekend? You write a suspenseful, cliffhangery chapter like that and you're making us wait until next weekend! You're mean!

Re: Finn Mac Cool

[hjcallipygian]

No, no -- by next weekend! Meaning, at the latest.

I'm so excited about writing this story now that I really have to be careful and make sure that I don't write it too fast and miss something. =)

[anonymous]

Poor Potentials. Even as Slayers, they still can't seem to get rid of those red shirts....

Good chapter, and I'm looking forward to the next one.

[4thdixiechick]

Wow!
Another great chapter. But you and your evil cliffhangers!

cliffhangers

[hjcallipygian]

I like the cliffhangers. Gotta keep my peepz coming back somehow! =)

Re: cliffhangers

[4thdixiechick]

Gotta keep my peepz coming back somehow! =)

Yeah, like I'd stop reading because you reolved a monor plot line here or there!

Re: cliffhangers

[hjcallipygian]

Aww. Well, not all the readers of the world are as discerning and loyal as my darling Smithie. =)

We're definitely entering the third act of this story now, though. A lot of resolution is coming up in the next four chapters -- fifteen through eighteen.

My goal is to have The Twins completed by Thanksgiving.

Amazing Cliffhanger.

[keith5by5]

But what happened to the FX stuff?

Re: Amazing Cliffhanger.

[hjcallipygian]

Don't worry, it's coming...

Re: Amazing Cliffhanger.

[keith5by5]

Yipee!

Re: Amazing Cliffhanger.

[hjcallipygian]

Heh. I don't know about "yippee!" I mean, I didn't say it was coming soon. =)

Have you ever seen a film called "Real Genius"? It has Val Kilmer and the guy who played the EPA guy in Ghostbusters, and there's a line in there that I just love:

"It's coming?! It's not even breathing hard!"