Of Those Chosen: The Twins - 11

[hjcallipygian]

So I finally got the last scene to work for me. I wrote the thing so many different ways, I think I wrote twelve pages for just that two-page scene.

I promise, I will do my best to write chapter twelve as quickly as possible without affecting the quality of the chapter. Promise.

Previous chapters think that Garden State is the best low-budget

Comments

[anonymous]

But now. Angel was dead, Spike was dead, and Wesley was dead. Fred, the girl he never met but refused to help, and the fallen god who inhabited her body, dead. Charles Gunn and the former host, Lorne. More names to add to the long list of those fallen due to his poor choices.

Question: Did Lorne die in your universe, or is Giles just assuming (incorrectly) that he did?

I enjoyed this part, and not just because you picked a title from my favorite album of all time :)

[hjcallipygian]

I'm doing my very best to adhere to canon strictly. We never see Buffy or Giles or anyone like that; the only person we see is Andrew. I've stretched that a little thin, I'll admit. But when it comes to the endings of Angel, Lorne, and the rest, I'm assuming that what they thought would happen did happen. So Lorne is gone, and no one knows he's not dead because the only ones who could know are Angel and Lindsey.

Great, as always

[littlefeltfangs]

Just one little quible, you took out the repeated question from your preview.
"'Faith, how did the spell work again?' 'Faith, how did you become a Slayer?' 'Faith, how did that spell work again?' 'Faith, blah blah blah!'"
A lot of the chapter hinges on that, and I thought it worked better with it in.
It seems to me that Giles would have to assume everyone died, until (and if) someone who was there actually showed up.
Really looking forward to chapter 12!

Re: Great, as always

[hjcallipygian]

Thanks! Glad you liked it.

Yeah, I had added that part on when I posted from another computer, and forgot to change it on my laptop's version of the story. Normally I just upload & download the file to the laptop from my apartment computer (kind of use it like a central server), but my DSL was down some this past week so I couldn't. Oops! Thanks for pointing it out.

The thing about Lorne is that no one is around to know what happened to him. Theoretically. I mean, he told Angel, but I don't think that anyone else knew. Makes sense for Connor to just assume he died like Wesley did. Actually, considering Connor's history, it makes more sense for him to think that Wesley ditched out on Angel at the end than Lorne.

[4thdixiechick]

Xander dropped to his knees. Audrey started to move to him, but then vampires swarmed around them from every direction, and her reflexes took over.

Grr - I hate cliff hangers! you can't just leave us hanging' here!

Poor Giles - all that guilt and not he's not "drunk enough" (just as long as he stops before he gets too drunk)

Great part-can't wait to read the next chapter

(So glad to see this update - I really missed LJ the past few weeks!)

[hjcallipygian]

Grr - I hate cliff hangers!

Uh, sorry... I think my notes have the next two or three chapter-endings hanging off cliffs. Perhaps I should just e-mail you once the storm dies down. =)

I'm really glad you like how it's going so far. Glad to see you back from your trip and to get all caught up with you, too.

[4thdixiechick]

Uh, sorry... I think my notes have the next two or three chapter-endings hanging off cliffs. Perhaps I should just e-mail you once the storm dies down. =)

Well, seeing as it's you, I'll tolerate more cliff hangers!

And I've been at the computer for almost 7 hours - I think it's time throw in the towel & go outside. I'll just have to accept that there's no way to fully catch up on every e-mail, website, and journal for the past three weeks!

Now to enjoy the sunshine...

[hjcallipygian]

I'll just have to accept that there's no way to fully catch up on every e-mail, website, and journal for the past three weeks!

Man, the thought of that makes me shudder. I went out of town for a weekend -- just Saturday and Sunday -- and returned to 50+ e-mails. Not spam, but legitimate e-mails. Three weeks of no internet would render me lost beyond saving.

Enjoy your sunshine, it's raining down here in the Sunshine State.

Twins

[keith5by5]

Interesting vibe you've got going on here. Like Faith's role as Aud's mentor, and her crush on Xander. But Katherine and Giles? Sorry, that's just icky.

Re: Twins

[hjcallipygian]

Why icky? This is my first "icky" feedback on those two so far, I'm interested why -- especially as nothing happened between them, except she wants him.

Re: Twins

[keith5by5]

She's what 18? He's pushing 50.

Re: Twins

[hjcallipygian]

So: age. Yes? Is that all?

The pairing is not meant to be a "yay!" pairing, by any means. I wrote it as something that I hoped people would understand theoretically (in the sense that you can understand why she is attracted to him, and vice-versa), but still just not feel right about. I'm uncomfortable elaborating what I meant when I wrote it, and why I meant those things, simply because of years of conditioning -- in my writing classes, when an author's story was being critiqued, s/he wasn't allowed to speak -- but you're the first person to make any negative comments about it so far, so I was hoping you'd elaborate some. Everyone else who's read it has either said "yay!" or nothing.

[empressvesica]

*blink* Okay, so didn't see Katherine tossing herself at Giles. And I am willing to bet dollars to donuts Giles wouldn't have taken it that well had he not been rather drunk at the time.

Now Audrey and Xander, easier for me to see. Quite.

And I refuse to comment on the Faith/Wood schmoop.

But I am loving this so I shall bravely continue on, despite having to read those two make puppy eyes and obscene comments at each other. Ew.