Of Those Chosen: The Twins - 10

[hjcallipygian]

Here is my revised (and a lot longer) Chapter Ten. I give props and shout-out to my homie ludditerobot, who helped me out a lot with this chapter and keeping it on-track and properly focused and all that. He rocks.

The first person to recognize where I got the title for this chapter from win an all-expense-paid* trip to the moon.

Previous chapters are

Comments

[ludditerobot]

By attitude, I'm guessing the Mojo Nixon cover of the Smith's "Girlfriend In A Coma".

[hjcallipygian]

Hmm. Well, actually, I had the original in mind -- I don't know that I've heard the Mojo Nixon cover... Just went through my mp3 library, I knew I'd downloaded a cover of a Smiths' song from you before, but it wasn't that one, so I know I've never heard the cover.

But that's close enough. You win the moon trip -- congratulations.

[ludditerobot]

Love the changes. Love the Audrey/Faith scene. The Faith/Buffy scene works well, too.

Faith stood a few feet from the foot of the stairs, keeping(?) a close eye on Chao-Ahn and Helen...

[ludditerobot]

The bold should've ended with the question mark.

[hjcallipygian]

I'm glad you like the changes. You really helped out a lot on this chapter -- I can't thank you enough.

[hpchick]

Good part. I like the changes and additions you made.

[hjcallipygian]

Thank you, I'm glad you like it. I feel a lot more comfortable with this chapter, even if I feel like it's a bit dialogue-heavy. The Audrey-Buffy fight, as short as it is, was some really really needed action. =)

[liz_marcs]

Okay, see? I'm now going to have to go back and read the beginning.

:-P

You got me intrigued...

[hjcallipygian]

Thanks! I'm a big fan of your stuff -- Living History and Whisper particularly. Any thoughts or criticisms on previous chapters is more than welcome, even now. I love hearing any opinion, good or bad (and, actually, I take the bad a whole lot better, and with far less behind-the-screens blushing).

I came into Living History somewhere around part #48, and Lilac City around part 180, so I know how you feel catching up. I hope you like the beginning as much as you liked this chapter (I always feel like beginnings are my weakest parts).

[midnightsjane]

Hi there! I just found this tonight, on a link from liz_marks. I had been reading her Living History, and she mentioned your fic. So, I just read all 10 chapters, and really enjoyed it. Nice narrative flow, and I think you have a pretty good feel for the characters. Loved that you brought Connor in to the mix; I like the boy, and he is the logical one to know about Angel and remember Faith.
I have added you to my friends list so I can keep up with this.

[hjcallipygian]

Thanks! It's always great to have new readers. I'm glad you're liking the story so far, you're coming in at just about the right spot -- I'm pretty close to introducing senor shit to senor fan. I've heard they don't get along well. =P