Fic: The Loveliest Village on the Plains (1/1)

[hitlikehammers]

Title: The Loveliest Village on the Plains
Rating: R
Pairing: Jack/Sawyer
Word Count: 1,606
Summary: There is a side of him that only the jungle sees. For the psych_30 Prompt #5 - Multiple Personality.
Prompt Table: Here
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. The poem referenced is “The Deserted Village” by Oliver Goldsmith, from which Auburn, Alabama

Comments

[obreesprit]

I don't mean to be too picky here, but a pet peeve of mine has been that slash writers use the term "coitus." I would like to *gently* point out that coitus is, by definition, sex involving one penis and one vagina. This is the term used by the medical comminuty and I'm pretty sure is Latin in origin. I don't think there's a technical term for anal sex-- the Latin speakers just didn't need one, probably.

That aside, this was very poetically written... so I can see how you would want an elegant word like coitus to go in with the rest. :) I don't think I quite understood it all, but that didn't take away from the peaceful images and the trust I got from this delightful piece.

Thanks for writing and sharing!

[hitlikehammers]

First off, thank you ever so much, because I was having a rather love-hate with this little fic, not sure what I thought of it; but if you think it's poetic, then I must have done something right :)

And now, a response to the word specs: you raise an excellent point on the account of my word choice (so please know that I'm not trying to rebuff your criticism, for I think it's duly warranted). I'm something of a language nerd, myself, so I can actually say that I did some searching for a more fitting term there, having a similar peeve with that semi-inaccurate word, and I found myself somewhat intrigued by the technicalities of the term (again, I'm nerdy like that... fascinated by the origins of "coitus" *rolls eyes*). So, here's what I eventually settled on: the word coitus, if I remember correctly (and forgive me if I don’t, because it’s been a while and sometimes I get my languages mixed up) was derived from the Latin for ‘go together,’ and was then later applied to the biological sexual act. Because I do know that we call

[obreesprit]

Thanks for taking my pet peeve so well. :) I think I'm most sensitive about the word because I hate it when gay men are compared to women. Being a trans-man, this happens to me quite a lot.

I wasn't aware that the modern definition included anal sex-- although my definition was from a text book and those don't tend to keep up so well with linguistic drift. :D

As for a better word? I don't really have one, I'm sorry to say. When people try to use the phrase "post-coital bliss" I would suggest "post-orgasmic bliss" instead, but just "post-orgasm" sounds... I dunno. Not as poetic. And it's certainly not as specific as coitus. "Post-coupling" might be nice because it's a more general term.

I hope that my blundering thoughts have given you a little more clarity on your word choice, because it's certainly not invalid as it is. Again, thanks for being so awesome about my nit-pickiness.

[alemyrddin]

I love how you use the language and descriptions.
I agree that this was quite poetic. :)

[hitlikehammers]

Thank you so very much :)

[jaydblu]

Very nice. I really like the last line, that kind of...defines their relationship a bit.

[hitlikehammers]

Thank you; the last line was my favorite, as well :)

[siluria]

I adore this fic. Everything from the subtlety of the way you weave Sawyer's story in with Jack's thoughts, feelings and observations. I love the descriptives in it that really come alive, and envy your skill just a little bit too ;) Thanks for sharing!!

[hitlikehammers]

Thank you ever so much! I'm thrilled you enjoyed this - the description especially, because I was a bit concerned that it was becoming too descriptive :)

[haldoor]

You definitely have a poetic way with words, and I really enjoyed the way you interwove the two stories. Beautifully done! ;-)

[hitlikehammers]

Thank you! I'm so glad that you enjoyed this - and I wasn't entirely sure about the effectiveness of the interwoven stories, at first, so I'm particularly happy you liked that aspect of it :)