marcus is leaving this morning.  he'll be back before i know it though ( Read more... )

Anthony: she walks through colour synesthesia hearing appearing consciousness. surrounded by sounded forests of imaginative trees reaching into the random and pulling light only you can see. dancing in painted wind feeling the awe of the void...    complexity wraps around complexity in your iris. within a playble model of "this", defiance of being ( Read more... )

 i want my body back.  this is pathetic ( Read more... )

 i feel so strange.  i feel kinda dizzy but i don't want to eat.  it seems like i eat alot, but i know realistically that i don't.  it seems a pain right now.  a waste.  so much for one person to go through to stay alive.  multiple times a day...seven days a week...wow
and yeah, i know i'm not rational.  and i don't know why i'm slipping into ( Read more... )

i just took the first nap i've taken in forever, and on one hand it felt lovely
and on the other it was contemptable
i needed the sleep
yeah
i've been working out until i can pierce my legs with my fingers and feel the delicate strings  - solid and interwoven - working underneath with every subtle clench and movement.
if i ache when i run, then i just ( Read more... )

maybe i should use it for that sole purpose...
to express all of my terrible thoughts
the ways in which i am not as avoidant to material things as i thought
the way i cant control my thoughts and refuse to apologize for what i cannot control
the way that i cannot change my opinions due to popular opinion but realize that we are all at least slightly ( Read more... )

a tuesday morning ( Read more... )

as i struggle to feel whole ( Read more... )

english lab, so i guess i can't say everything i need to in complete detail. life is on an extremely consistent plane, and for some reason, unbeknownst to me, i am afraid of consistency. i am afraid of anything that represents it ( Read more... )

alone and depressed and alone ( Read more... )