[EXO] It won't be long until I come home (2/3)
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[24105600]
“I’ll be gone for a long time.”
“Only 60927092 seconds.” Luhan leaned in and gave a soft kiss to Minseok, tensing at how Minseok leaned back instead, avoiding the contact.
“When you say it like that, it just makes it even longer.” Minseok joked weakly. “And scarily precise.” Luhan grinned, leaning back on couch. They were alone in an SM practice room, the room lights dimmed. Most of SM knew about them being together, but Minseok preferred it if no one walked in on them.
“But yes, I do know it’s a long time, you didn’t need to ask me to meet you here privately to tell me that.” Luhan brushed away at Minseok’s bangs. “So what did you really want to tell me here?”
Minseok stiffened. There was no easy way to say this.
“I don’t want you to contact me at all while I’m in the army.” Luhan’s smile dropped. Minseok’s heart did the same.
“Don’t take it the wrong way, I stil- I still love you- it’s just-“
“You need time away?” Minseok paused, Luhan still wasn’t smiling, but his eyes were kind, hands still running through Minseok’s hair. “You want to rethink our relationship, rethink if being with me is worth it.” He stood. “I understand.” Minseok looked up, panicking.
“I don’t think you do-“
“No I do.” The strength in Luhan’s voice shocked Minseok. “Maybe we both need time away from each other. Not in a bad way, it’s just…” Luhan paused. “We’ve been living in a big fairytale this whole time, that even I began to lose track of the reality we live in. I mean… neither of us has been in… this type of relationship before. We both know there are limited options in the future… and I completely understand if you don’t want to face them. I don’t even know if I can face them.” He looked away from Minseok.
“I’m sorry Luhan.”
“I’m not mad.”
Luhan stood, walking towards the door. He turned again, looking sadly down at the stilled Minseok, looking as if he wanted to say something, but shook his head in weariness.
“Just… don’t forget I still love you, and always will. Nothing can change that.” He said instead. Minseok sat frozen on the couch, watching as Luhan walked out the door, closing it gently behind him.
That night, Minseok doesn’t follow him back to the dorm straight away. He goes to the nearest bar instead, orders a round of shots, and takes them one after another. After two desperate voicemails, Jongdae finds him there, lying amongst the empty glasses, eyes glazed. He sighs.
“Minseok, everyone’s worried about you. Come on, let’s get home-“
“Jongdae…” the younger male froze in his steps. Minseok lifts his head wearily. “Jongdae, I need to tell you something.”
Minseok woke up with a gasp.
It was the same dream every night, a flashback to when he first told Jongdae he was enlisting. Yet the memory always ended at that moment, leaving a wide-awake Minseok to remember the events that happened after, the shocking words he shared with his fellow band mate.
Luhan kept his word. He hadn’t shown up to the farewell party or saw them both off. No letters, no phone calls, not even to Jongdae. If Joonmyun didn’t talk about what the other EXO members were up too when they called, Luhan included, it would almost have seem as if the Chinese had disappeared off the earth. All Minseok had left to remind him of his lover was the crumpled picture on the bottom of his drawer, and the multitude of memories that haunted Minseok’s mind.
He wished he didn’t tell Luhan not to contact him.
Someone’s watch beeps in the room, signaling a new hour. He glances over to where their room’s digital clock rests, reading a blurry 12:00AM from it.
12:00AM. April 20th.
“Happy Birthday Luhan.” Minseok whispered to himself.
[23501224]
Thankfully, he gets assigned to night watch duty a few days later. Most soldiers hate it, since it’s tiresome and a bore, but Minseok finds tranquility in it. Standing up for a few hours proves a much better alternative to tossing around on his bed, and it’s even been helping him sleep off faster.
It’s just him standing in front of the door and his corporal sitting at a desk at the entrance of their hallway. The occasional scrawl from his superior breaks the quiet buzz of the night from time to time, but other then that, all is silent.
Minseok shifts slightly. The corporal glances up.
“Something on your mind?”
“No, sir!” Minseok salutes. The other soldier chuckles softly.
“It’s late at night, you can drop the overly rigid greetings.” Minseok nods in affirmation.
“Why do you ask, sir?” His corporal leans back in his chair, lips pursed.
“You look distant right now, almost out of it. I don’t think you’re tired, since you would be dozing off, so the only other thing I can assume is something heavy is on your mind. So do share, since I don’t want our night watchman distracted while on the job.” Minseok blushed, but a quick glance to his side shows an encouraging look on his superior’s face, so he continues.
“There’s just… it’s just… I miss someone a lot. I’ve been preoccupied with thinking about h- this person. And at night, the misery only seems to get worse.” He finished lamely. The corporal ahhed understandingly.
“Is it a lover?” Minseok doesn’t answer, but nods.
“Well this person probably misses you too.” Minseok chuckled nervously peering cautiously at the corporal’s, but the other was still smiling kindly at him. “More then you think. And I’m sure ‘this person’ is waiting anxiously for your return, so all I can say is to serve to your fullest and return home to their arms.” He ended with a hearty chuckle.
“How do you do it sir?” The corporal raised an eyebrow at Minseok’s second question. “I-If you don’t m-mind me asking… sir.”
“How do I do what?”
“Survive so long… without seeing your family.”
“It’s… it’s hard.” The older male stroked his chin. “My daughter… she hardly sees me every year. And my wife, well, I worry too, how well they’re getting along without me. It makes being a full time soldier hard, and I feel guilty all the time for putting them both in this position.”
“What keeps me going however is that when I do return to them, I return a better man. Every time I walk up to my apartment building and knock on the door, my daughter will run up, salute me, and thank me for my service. It’s cheesy yet makes me smile always. It’s just… the idea that she’s proud of me, proud of the work I’ve done with our army… the cheery smile and happiness in her eyes, it’s an image I never want to forget.”
“I know, the last few months seems to always drag on the longest, and the idea of being so close yet so far to the end of your term can drive anyone crazy, myself included. But… imagine your lovers’ face, when you return home from the army. The pain felt from the past two years without you, the longing this person has for your embrace, your touch… but most of all, envision that joyful look, the pride they feel when they see you’ve return from your duty to this country… because if you picture it in your mind, it’ll give you motivation and ambition to barrel through this last stretch, to run the last mile before you can see her,” he paused. “-or him, again.”
That night, he stops thinking about Luhan’s face the night he told the other he was leaving for the army. Instead, he focuses on the face the Chinese male will make when Minseok returns, more confident, more mature, and ready to take their relationship to the next level.
He continues to keep that image in his mind, and for the rest of his service, Minseok sleeps soundly at night.
[10209286]
About five months before his enlistment was over, his commanding sergeant calls him over, handing him a small white envelope before saluting him off. There’s no return address, and the stamp date says it’s been sent out seven days ago.
His first thought is Luhan, and he panics. A lot can happen in two years, and if the letter is really from his lover, the myriad of possibilities it could say terrifies him.
“H-Hey…” he pokes his roommate on the shoulder, handing the letter over with trembling hands. “T-Tell me who it’s from.” Albeit confused, the soldier accepts the envelope and opens the flap, pulling out a folded slip.
“It says it’s from your dad,” Minseok blinked. Looking over, the folded slip has the words “From: Dad” written in neat letters, and Minseok can recognize his father’s handwriting anywhere. Grabbing it back and muttering thanks, he opens it.
The sheet looks blank at first, and for a second Minseok wonders if this was his father’s way of disowning him, but the small black ink at the top catches his eyes.
I’m sorry
I love you no matter what you do
It’s not the exact reconcilement Minseok had hoped for, but tears still fall from his eyes anyways, a trembling smile appearing on his face.
He looks at the calendar in their room, noting that todays date was September 28th. The letter was sent out seven days. September 21st.
Chuseok. Minseok had taken a day off like most others and gone to visit his ancestors secretly. The Charye routine was done, signaling his family had already been there, but Minseok bows his head anyways, apologizing to his ancestors’ grave for the strife he caused in his family. He prays for their acceptance of him and Luhan, for their blessings to the couple’s future. But most importantly, Minseok remembers begging for his father’s acceptance as well, praying for his dad to at least understand Minseok’s heart and support his decision, even if he didn’t necessarily understand it.
And today - as he holds the letter in his hands, silently sobbing tears of joy - Minseok thanks them for hearing his prayers.
[6825455]
“Private Jongdae asks for permission to step into room #203!”
Minseok jolted from cleaning his rifle. Jongdae stepped through the door much more leisurely then his announcement sounded, and smirked as he took a seat on Minseok’s cot. The rest of his team hardly gave a glance over, both squads were used to the two EXO members sneaking in randomly by now.
“Jongdae, what are you doing?” Minseok hissed, looking over at the door. Regardless of how many times the two had covertly visited each other; it always scared him that they would get caught. On the other hand, Jongdae just grinned and sprawled out on Minseok’s bed.
“I got back about two days ago but ‘cause it was a weeks vacation they put me on kitchen duty right away.” Minseok didn't need to be looking at Jongdae to know the other was rolling his eyes.
“Oh!” Jongdae sat up abruptly, catching Minseok’s attention by throwing an arm around the elder’s shoulder. He leaned close into Minseok’s ear. “I got it.”
Minseok’s eyes widened even more. Jongdae’s own were sparkling.
“I stopped in Seoul for an hour before going home. You remember that jewelry shop near the SM building? They still do custom designs, and ‘cause I had the picture you drew for me, they can have it made in about a month. I already told Joonmyun hyung to go pick it up and give it to you.”
“D… did you get the e-engravings as well?”
“I did everything you told me too.” Jongdae flopped back down momentarily, before sitting up again. “But I suck at Chinese, so it took like 20 tries for the shop owner to figure out how to write it. I called Tao to go check in on her to make sure it’s right, hopefully the kid remembers.” He pauses, frowning a bit. “Why didn’t you just go get it made? I’m pretty sure you know how to write Lu han better in Chinese then I do.” He finished, staring expectantly at Minseok. The elder remained silent, causing Jongdae’s eyes to widen.
“Don’t tell me that…” he trailed off, before jumping off the bed and towering over Minseok.
“You’ve been away from him for almost 20 months and you’re telling me it’s still not enough time away to think about your relationship and all that shit that’s bothering you?”
Minseok shushed him, looking nervously around the room at his suddenly interested teammates. Both him and Jongdae gave them forced smiles, before Jongdae sat back down and whispered in a hushed tone, “What the hell is taking you so long?”
“It’s not so simple.”
“Yeah that’s why you had two years.”
“It’s more complicated then that.”
“What do you want, another year? ‘Cause I’m sure that can be arranged, though they’ll probably think you’re crazy for wanting to stay here longer.”
“No, it’s just…” Minseok ran a hand through his growing hair. “Everyday… I’m just thinking and thinking and wondering and just… what if I’m making the wrong choice-“
“Hyung, you can’t make a wrong choice in this!” Jongdae hissed. “Honestly, if you really love Luhan hyung, this should have been as easy as-” he snapped. “-that! The fact that you’re hesitating still, I mean… what does that say about your feelings towards Luhan?”
“You don’t understand, there’s a lot more to consider then just how I feel-“
“But if you really loved him, should everything else even matter?” Minseok stopped mid sentence. They both fell silent again, looking away from each other. Jongdae sighed.
“Whatever. Hopefully you get your shit together. I guess you still have two months left anyways, that’s enough time, right?” Minseok ignored the sarcastic tone in Jongdae’s voice.
Two months only. 10 weeks. Only 79 more days. 1896 hours. 113760 minutes. If he flipped their room calendar to next January, there would be a circle around the 24th that month, with ‘Kim. Min. Seok.” printed in the middle.
As cliché as it sounds, it felt like yesterday when Minseok had first stood in the doorway of his training room, praying that the two years in the army would pass by fast. Yet now, time was catching up on him, and Minseok still didn’t have an answer for Luhan, or resolve his inner conflict over their relationship. He was still as lost as when he first came to the army, searching for answers.
Most soldiers’ count their service away by the seconds, dreaming of the day they can finally walk out free.
All Minseok could think of now was how he wished he had more time.
[2599920]
“In the summer our uniforms are too hot, in the winter they’re too thin…” someone grumbles next to Minseok, as the troop marches down the highway. Just before, they had a base-wide soccer tournament to determine who would shovel the roads, teams versus teams. Yet Minseok had long given up the hope of winning any of these soccer competitions. The first thing his room had told them was next to them all, Minseok looked like the next Ronaldo.
(Minseok would have liked to think he looked like that even without standing next to the group of blundering players. It was almost an insult to him based on how they all played.)
Jongdae was probably inside, enjoying his win. The younger had barely looked at Minseok since their disagreement a while back, making contact once in a while to ask, “did you decide?” only to walk away annoyed at the elder’s lack of a proper response. He had less then a month to go before he had to tell Luhan his decision, and yet he still couldn’t answer it himself.
But why was it so hard? Jongdae’s word continued to haunt him. If you really love Luhan hyung, this should have been as easy! Minseok was sure he loved Luhan. So why was it so hard to answer the damn question?
“Oh hey, SM’s debuting a new girl group!” Minseok looked up amidst catcalls to see a giant poster for a showcase on a parked bus that they passed. Minseok recognized none of them, but then again, there were too many trainees at the time he left for him to know each of them by name. They were the generic faces, undoubtedly beautiful, but to a group of men who haven’t seen a woman in possibly months, the poster was almost like a heaven on earth.
“Hey, you were in the industry right?” the soldier from before asks. “Who do you know?” Minseok rolled his eyes. What Jongdae saw as an asset, Minseok found it to be a nuisance. Being asked over and over if so-and-so was “really as pretty in their pictures” was extremely tiresome.
(Not to mention Minseok wasn’t the best judge of a girl’s beauty.)
“Well… Girl’s Day, A pink… f(x)…” He supposed it was handy how popular EXO had been; allowing them to meet other of the top idols in their generation, which proved it’s worth when it came to the general consensus on whom soldiers preferred. At the very least, the whispered gasps that followed after he threw names out like Eunji or Krystal was amusing.
“Damn…” the soldier’s eyes were wide with admiration. “That’s like every male’s dream, being able to see Girl’s Day up close…”
(Minseok coughed a laugh into his gloves. It probably wasn’t worth mentioning sharing his first encounter with Girl’s Day was when he accidently barged into their dressing room just as Sojin was walking out, the door swinging straight into her face. To this day, Baekhyun and Chanyeol still found it entertaining to reenact the scene whenever the girls were around.)
“Being an idol must be amazing…” The male continued on. “Having thousands of girls practically worship you, getting to meet all these sexy ladies… plus you’re a celebrity too, everyone knows you… Must be the life, huh?”
Except my reality is nothing like that. Minseok wanted to say, but he kept his mouth shut, returning his attention to the poster in front of him. The girls were smiling brightly, their faces shining with excitement that Minseok could see even from the 2D image. It was almost tragic to know that the vigor in their eyes would soon crumble as the years caught up on them. He’s seen it happen to all of the best, no kpop star could retain the same passion they had when they debuted years in, after experiencing the ruthlessness of the idol life, or remain unscathed after facing the merciless netizens and over obsessive fans. EXO was no exception, the crumbled photo in the bottom of his drawer a fine example of how quickly their lives had begun to wither.
“What’s it like though, all that traveling around, meeting fangirls, meeting other idols…” the soldier asked. Minseok opened his mouth to answer, but the guy continued, “I mean, you’re doing all these amazing things while pursuing something you love, not to mention you have a lot of other guys who share the same dreams as you do to work alongside.”
Huh. “I-It’s great actually.” That wasn’t the original answer he was going to give, but something in the later half of the guys question hit him.
Truthfully, the only reason Minseok had been able to survive all these years was because of his fellow EXO members. Their schedules were grueling, and the reactions from fans and critics alike meant turmoil of emotions, but when they were together, the burden and stress lightened tremendously. Once you debuted, the only people you could truly rely on were your band mates, because in such a viciously competitive world, his fellow EXO members were the only ones who understood exactly how Minseok was feeling, knew how brutal the idol life was and could relate to Minseok’s own worries surrounding their careers.
Especially Luhan. There was no way to count the amount of times the other had been a great source of support for Minseok, always willing to talk to him about his worries and struggles and encourage him on. Maybe it was their age, and the fact that Minseok could speak comfortably with him, but out of all the EXO members, it was Luhan he could trust the most, Luhan who made him feel at peace when the rest of their lives were in chaos.
He loved Luhan as a boyfriend, and enjoyed being in a relationship with the other male. However, first and foremost, Minseok was glad he had met Luhan as a friend, someone the same age as he who shared the same aspiration in becoming a singer. Years of bonding over shared music interest, their love in soccer, and just any everyday male topic of interests; well… there was nothing that could beat that. From the beginning, Luhan had been there for him, regardless of their relationship status.
And Minseok never wanted that fact to change.
[692308]
He uses his last few telephone minute cards left to make an important phone call a week before he’s due to leave. When he asks Yixing if the other knows the number, the younger gives a surprised gasp but calls his own contacts for Minseok, and a few seconds later, the 11-digit number is in his hands.
Typing the international codes are easy, considering how many times Minseok’s had to do so between South Korea and China, but the follow-up is hard. He hasn’t talked to this person for a long time, and doing so now seems almost crazy, insane.
He punches in the number and dials before he can hang up. The other end picks up almost immediately, as if to further discourage Minseok from backing out.
“Wei?” Minseok stiffened.
“Please tell me you still remember Korean.” He replied weakly. The line went silent for a moment, and Minseok could hear an audible gasp as the other end realized who was speaking.
“Minseok-ah?” The deep baritone voice whispered disbelievingly. Minseok supposed that was reasonable. The last thing he ever said to Kris was something along the lines of “Fuck you”, and Minseok was pretty sure he threw a fist at the other as well. If there was a time limit to when you can call old band mates, seven years after a rocky goodbye seemed way past it.
“Hi. Kris. Yifan. Uh.”
“You can just call me Yifan.”
“Yeah. Yifan. Ssi. Uh.” He had a whole speech ready, but now that Kris (Yifan) had actually picked up, all the words were jumbled at the back of his mouth. He opened it, but no coherent words came out, prompting him to shut his jaw.
“How are you? You’re in the army, I heard.” Sensing Minseok’s own speechlessness, Kr-Yifan picked up the conversation instead.
(That was a reason Yifan made such a good leader, Minseok thought to himself. His conversation skills were undoubtedly the best in EXO. The guy had to practically hold one on one interviews with their awkward hosts in China, since half of the group wouldn’t hold the mic and the other half couldn’t be trust with one.)
“Good.” Minseok replied curtly. “I have no idea what you’re up too, sorry.” The other end let out a hearty laugh.
“That’s fine, I’m not doing any new projects right now,” Minseok wanted to hate the pleasant sound in Yifan’s voice, but it was calming, reminding Minseok of the Yifan he knew from before.
“So… what is it that you wanted to tell me?” Yifan continued. “Because we both know this isn’t some casual call, and the fact that you need to tell me whatever you called for means it must be big.”
Minseok gulped. He’s been over the same routine with multitudes of people, but it still scared him every time he told someone about his relationship with Luhan.
“Umm… well… Luhan and I… well, the two of us… we’ve been d-dating… for… a while n-now.” He finally managed to stutter out.
“I see.” It was harder to stay calm, since Minseok couldn’t see Yifan’s expression over the phone, and the tone of his voice gave nothing away about what Yifan thought.
“I…” Yifan let out a short laugh. “Umm… congratulations I suppose.” Minseok blinked. Even if Yifan was accepting of their lifestyle, his tone now sounded far more neutral for someone who just heard two of his ex band mates have been holding hands and kissing all this time.
“You don’t sound so surprised.”
“Well I am, but more so that you decided you needed to call and tell me this. It’s been a while coming anyways.” Minseok’s eyes widened.
“Wait… you knew.”
“Well, anyone with eyes could tell Luhan had a massive crush on you, and you weren’t exactly subtle in your own actions.” Minseok blushed. Were they that obvious, even back then?
“Plus… Luhan called me the night you said yes.”
“What?” Yifan let out a hearty laugh at Minseok’s indignant outburst. “So I didn’t need to call you? I could have saved my telephone vouchers, or sold them off to other soldiers? I had to go through so much trouble to find your number too!” he whined playfully.
Yifan sighed, amused, before clearing his throat and asking, “But why now? Why did you need to call me at this exact moment and tell me this? What is it that you really wanted to share with me?” Minseok froze, falling silent.
Yifan sighed again, this time out of weariness, before continuing, “You guys have been together for over four years already, and this is the first time I’m hearing about it from your mouth. I’d always assume that either Luhan told you that he told me, or you didn’t care enough to tell me yourself. So what is the real reason you called me tonight?” Yifan ended with a gentle tone that was encouraging Minseok to go on, so he obliged.
“I’m planning to ask Luhan a… a very important question.” A sharp inhalation and quiet oh came from the other end of his call. “One that will have a great impact on not only our lives, but everyone around us, has been connected to us, both from the past and present.” Minseok leaned against the telephone booth wall, sliding down against it to the floor. “You were the only one that didn’t know we were together, and…”
“Are you looking for someone to tell you to not do this?” Minseok bit his lip.
“What if it’s a bad decision? What if I’m making a mistake, and it costs me our relationship? Or what if we actually go through with it, and-“
“Minseok, what would you have done if I said you shouldn’t?” Yifan cut in. “What if I told you it was a bad idea, the worst you’ve ever made, and that no, I didn’t approve. Well… actually… my approval means nothing at this point, but what if Yixing said he didn’t approve. Or Joonmyun. Or… Tao. If one of the other guys told you not to go through with this, would you have honestly listened to them?”
A bout of silence passed through. Minseok had never considered that. Most of the other members had accepted the two being a couple so fast, and the rest weren’t that far behind in acknowledgement, that even the thought of one of them not approving of his next big shocker never crossed his mind.
“Tell me, if you weren’t going to ask Luhan this “very important question” of yours,” Minseok could practically see Yifan making the air quote gestures. “Could you see yourself being with anyone else and getting to this point?”
“N-No….”
“That’s your answer. You can’t imagine seeing yourself with anyone else then Luhan. You want Luhan to stay with you forever, despite knowing the implications and foreseeable problems it will bring. South Korea’s definitely not as accepting as other parts of the world, and yet, your love for Luhan trumps all that.”
“You’re only asking if you’re making a wrong decision. You’re not asking if Luhan is the right choice, because in your heart, he always was, always is, and always will be. If you know that Luhan is the right choice, how can your decision be wrong?”
Yifan’s words struck him. Maybe he was looking for someone to tell him that it was a wrong decision, that he shouldn’t go through with it. But Minseok knew that he wouldn't have listened, and still asked Luhan.
He was always just looking for a sign that their whole relationship wasn’t a dream. Even though there was the fear of being found out, being with Luhan almost felt like a fairy tale, a place where nothing could go wrong. And now, Minseok wanted to continue their story, and yet… a hidden gnawing feeling in the back of his mind told him that maybe… just maybe… there was no happy ending. That’s why he came to the army, that’s why he ran away from Luhan, ran away from their relationship, ran away from it all. What happened if one day, Minseok woke up, and it all came crashing down?
When he was with Luhan, everything did seem like a fantasy, but they were living in a reality. A reality where they were part of a minority, not easily accepted by others. An actuality that meant certain social injustices towards them. A place where being together would be a rough journey in a world where people would try to tear them apart.
But it was a world where Luhan loved him, and Minseok loved Luhan. Yifan was right. Minseok was just stalling time, trying to look for a sign that this was all wrong. But that sign never did exist. Luhan was never a burden, a mistake, or a misfortune to Minseok. Even in a world where their love supposedly “doesn’t exist” they were still standing strong.
And that was all Minseok needed to know they would be all right.
“So… I’m getting get an invite, right?” Yifan broke into Minseok’s thoughts, a light lilt in his voice.
“I guess so,” Minseok smirked. “Your gift better be the biggest though you bastard, we all know you’re loaded as hell after the lawsuit so don’t you dare be skimping out on it like you did everything else.” Yifan laughs again, and Minseok breaks out into a small smile. It’s almost surreal to think the two of them can still easily taunt one another like this, but then again, maybe time really does heal all wounds.
He talks with Yifan for a while longer, speaking to the very last second of his allotted time on past news they had missed about one another all these years. It was easy to slip into such a comfortable routine once again, despite the two never being as close as they were with other members. Maybe it’s the unresolved issues that have long been forgotten, or the many angry years that have passed that give them this almost desperation to continue the conversation. Whatever it is though, Minseok is glad he spent the last minutes on Yifan. It almost feels like he was closing up loose ends and bringing one part of his life to a conclusion.
After hanging up, he sits there on the ground of the booth, thinking. Two Christmases ago, he remembers when Jongdae had called Baekhyun and the two had a ten-minute conversation complaining about Chanyeol. He thinks about himself, and the letter from his dad he still has under his clothes, two sentences on it that Minseok never expected to hear from the man. Right now, he just finished talking with Wu Yi Fan for crying out loud, someone Minseok had sworn never to speak to ever again in his life.
Maybe that’s what the army is all about. It’s reconciliation, realizations and resolutions. This whole time, Minseok had been looking for answers to what was holding him back in his relationship with Luhan. He had wondered why the thought of a committed future with the other was intimidating, when on the other hand; Minseok knew that he needed Luhan to be alongside with him for eternity.
The army had been a rollercoaster of paradoxes, or conflicting emotions and temperamental mood changes. Yet here he was, nearing the end of his service, and if Minseok looked back at the two years, there was no way he could count on even two hands all the life-changing and thought provoking moments that had shaped Minseok up better. From missing someone to the point of driving you insane, to learning methods that help you keep a cheerful mood throughout your service. Learning what it truly meant to be grateful for what you have, and accepting help that was given from others. He became stronger friends with Jongdae, and came to understand Yixing’s heart more.
He made peace with his father. Could finally give his sister a straight answer. Pacified whatever hostility had been between him and Yifan, which could hopefully open up a pathway for everyone else.
Minseok could really see how everyone said you mature while serving, as he certainly did immensely. There was so much that being in the army had helped him over the past few years.
And now, maybe it’s time he reunited with the one someone who he should have never broken his relationship with in the first place.
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