[FANFIC] Indomitable
Title: Indomitable
Author/Artist: thewaterbandit
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Rome, France, Canada
Rating: U
Warnings: Another crossover! I swear I do write things other than crossovers but this one demanded to be written. :p
Summary: France tells a young Canada a bedtime story. Crossover with Asterix (yes really). Originally inspired by the 10 things meme.
Night had fallen over the small house that France and Canada shared. The younger country had eaten, bathed, and said his prayers, and now it was time for bed. He settled down in the rough homespun covers, and looked up to France, who was tucking him in.
"Big brother, tell me a bedtime story."
France smiled. "As if I would skip it tonight. Tell me, what do you wish to hear? Lancelot again?" He mimed swordfighting, and Canada giggled.
"No, I want to hear a story from when you were little. Like me." He snuggled down under the sheets and cuddled his bear. "Please."
France scratched his chin, apparently deep in thought, then began.
"Once upon a time, when I was small like you and men called me by a different name, there was a man who would not rest until he saw all the world under his feet-"
"Like England." Canada interrupted. France gave a snort of laughter.
"A bit, though neither would not be flattered by the comparison. Anyway, I thought I was telling this story?"
"I am sorry." The young country hugged his bear tighter. "Please go on."
"To begin at the beginning..."
***
Rome strode through the forest, yelling at the top of his lungs.
"GAUL!"
No reply. He tried again.
"GAUUL!"
Nothing. He cursed by Jupiter and Saturn and then by Mars for good measure. When he had captured the little boy, he seemed hardly big enough to cause any trouble. All that was needed was to tie him up until he could be taught civilized, Roman ways. Oh sure, the kid had struggled and cursed and threatened him with retribution from strange gods, but it was nothing he wasn't used to. And then the little brat had gotten out of his bonds and escaped. At least Greece and Egypt, troublesome as they were, were big enough that he couldn't misplace them.
"No children." he promised himself. "No children, ever again."
He bent down to look under a log. Several centipedes glared back. Straightening up, Rome looked around and spotted a thin trail of smoke rising from a large clearing ahead. He smiled. A garrison- good. He could ask them if they had seen his captive.
From the bushes, three pairs of eyes watched him leave.
"Why d'you reckon he was shouting about Gaul, Asterix?"
"I don't know, Obelix. Seemed like he'd lost something. I think we should tell the chief about this one."
"Woof."
***
Gaul didn't know how long he'd been running. Escaping from Rome had been pure luck, and he knew that he had to move fast to avoid being recaptured. At least he had the home advantage. This was his land, and he'd be damned if he let it go easily, even if he was just a child. Rome might be trampling all over Lutetia and Armorica, but Gaul would remain free. He continued running, following a tugging in his heart that led him to where the edge of the forest thinned out to the coast. Nestled between the woods and the sea lay a village. Gaul's breath caught in his throat. It was as if the Roman occupation- as if time itself- had passed this little community by.
"By Belenos..."
"Hey!"
A hand landed on his shoulder, making him jump and spin around, fists at the ready. But it wasn't Rome. He recognised them as his own people- a short, blond man whose winged helmet added about another five inches to his height, and a positively enormous giant in striped trousers who, Gaul could just about see, sported twin pigtails. The little man spoke again.
"Are you lost? Where are your parents?"
Gaul considered this. He wasn't sure about that last one himself.
"I have no parents." he decided, this being the least complicated explanation. The two men exchanged looks.
"What's your name, kid?" the giant asked. "I'm Obelix, and this is my friend Asterix." A small black and white dog peeked out from behind his leg. "And this is Dogmatix."
"I am Gaul." the country replied proudly. This prompted another look and a shared shrug.
"Of course you are." Asterix replied, in a tone that suggested that he didn't believe a word Gaul was saying. "Look, why don't you come with us to our village and we can sort out where your parents are and get you back to them, or whoever is supposed to be looking after you."
They started to walk off down towards the village, at a slow pace so that Gaul could keep up.
"This will be much easier if you tell us your real name, you know."
"I told you! I am Gaul!"
"Sure."
***
The Roman camp of Compendium snoozed in the late morning sunshine. It had been at least three days since the Gaulish village had last ransacked their camp and such a long period of quiet usually meant that one of the other three garrisons had done something to antagonize them instead. The little holiday meant that discipline had relaxed somewhat, and when Rome rode up to the entrance he was greeted to the sight of the legionaries on duty hanging their washing over the palisades.
"Ave!" he called. One of the legionaries looked up and casually returned his salute.
"Ave."
"I'm looking for the commander of this garrison."
"Old Supercilious is in his tent." the legionary jerked a soapy thumb over his shoulder. "In the middle."
Rome nodded his thanks and rode on into the camp. Again, signs of the three-day break in hostilities were everywhere. Legionaries were gathered in groups of two or three, gambling, eating, and trading stories. Rome caught snatches of them as he rode past.
"And then they joined the Roman Army..."
"So all the druids were gathered in one place to show off their talents..."
"And he ate the whole cake, poison or not!"
Dismounting outside of Supercilious' tent, Rome peered in through the flap. The garrison commander was sitting in front of a map with his head in his hands. As the country entered, he looked up and motioned him to sit down.
"Ave, Commander Supercilious." said Rome cautiously. The man, indeed his entire tent, looked as if he had gone toe-to-toe with a horde of barbarians.
"Ave, ave." he muttered, returning his gaze to the map. "What can I do for you, soldier?"
"I was riding through here with a captive- a Gaul." Rome began. At the mention of the word 'Gaul' the commander visibly flinched, though he nodded for Rome to continue. "And, well, he got away from me. I was wondering if any of your men had seen him at all? Or if you knew of any local villages where he might find shelter?"
Supercilious started to chuckle to himself. Rome's hand strayed to the hilt of his sword.
"Oh, I know exactly where your captive has gone to." he looked up, hysteria gleaming in his eyes. "Though you will not thank me for telling you."
His hand slammed onto the map, his fist centered on a spot between the ocean and the forest.
"That damned village!" he snarled, and Rome saw that the spot on the map was encircled by no less than four Roman garrisons, Compendium being one of them. Why would a small Gaulish village require such a force? The commander, oblivious to this, continued ranting.
"It's a village of demons! Every other day they simply turn up beat us bloody! Sometimes we don't even deserve it!"
Rome raised an eyebrow. "A highly trained Roman garrison is afraid of a rabble of barbarians?"
Supercilious shook his head and laughed.
"These are no ordinary barbarians. I've seen the oldest man in that village take on twenty of my legionaries and win. You saw those palisades out there?"
The country nodded.
"We have to rebuild them every week. When the Gaulish village attacks, nothing is left standing. It's the most powerful force for miles around and a rallying point for Gaulish resistance. If your captive is anywhere, he'll be there."
"Then we have to go and retrieve him." Rome replied decisively. The other man looked at him with horror.
"You can't provoke them! They'll get angry!"
Rome's eyes narrowed.
"You may be scared of a bunch of farmers, Supercilious, but I am not. That fugitive is vital to the empire and he will be recaptured. I am ordering you and your men to come with me."
"Very well. But let this be your warning-"
The garrison commander leaned forward and looked his nation squarely in the eyes. In the filtered light inside the tent, Rome could see that Supercilious hadn't slept or shaved in weeks.
"Welcome to Hades, soldier. Hope you paid the ferryman."
***
Meanwhile, in the infamous village, Asterix and Obelix had taken Gaul to their chief. Vitalstatstix, in turn, had called Getafix, the village druid, to help. Not that Getafix knew much about children- the chief had simply gotten used to having the old man around whenever they had a meeting.
"Well well, what do we have here?" Vitalstatistix asked, trying to be as jolly as possible. Children always made him uncomfortable. They were usually best left to his wife, Impedimenta, to handle.
"I am Gaul." replied the little boy, as he had been insisting for past half an hour. Vitalstatstix looked over at Obelix and Asterix and raised his eyebrows. Asterix took off his helmet and scratched his head.
"That's the only name we can get off of him, chief."
The Gaulish chief looked down at the kid again. Some people just didn't know how to discipline a child properly.
"Now, stop this nonsense. Who are you really?"
"I told you again and again." The country replied, stamping his foot. "I am Gaul!"
The chief appealed to his druid. This was clearly a matter for someone with magical training. Or anyone, really, other than Vitalstatistix himself.
"Getafix?"
The elderly man shuffled forwards and bent down, somewhat creakily, to Gaul's eye level. But, instead of asking the boy his name, he instead stared at him, very hard. Gaul shifted uncomfortably.
"Tell me, child." Getafix asked eventually. "Why did you seek out this village in particular?"
Gaul looked at him as if he had gone senile. "I am Gaul." he replied, and this time he seemed older, much older. "I have lived in this land for as long as I can remember, and it will be mine for longer than that. I know you all, and I know that you are my last free children. I have been running for this village ever since I escaped from Rome."
There was silence in the hut, broken only by the sounds Getafix made as he straightened up and turned towards the chief.
"There are legends among druids of spirits that embody a country and its people so fully that they take on human form. I had heard reports of such a phenomenon, but I had always believed it to be mere fantasy. Until today. Chief, I believe that this child is no less than the personification of Gaul itself."
"Himself." corrected Gaul.
Vitalstatistix groaned and pulled his helmet over his eyes.
"I suppose that means we can't find his parents, then."
Asterix was pacing the floor, thinking furiously.
"But that means that the other one was..." he stopped and looked over at Getafix. "Rome is here. And he's going to try and take Gaul from us."
"It is certainly only a matter of time." Getafix agreed.
Obelix could barely contain his glee.
"Can we fight him, Asterix? Can we can we can we?"
Asterix looked up at Vitalstatistix, who had perked up considerably at the mention of fighting. Never one to avoid a chance to make an heroic speech, surged to his feet and stood proudly on top of his shield.
"Well, if this child really is Gaul, then, by Toutatis, we shall defend him to our dying breaths! Getafix, brew up a cauldron of magic potion! Asterix, Obelix, assemble the village! If this Roma- Rome wants Gaul, then he's going to have to fight for it!"
***
The Romans moved nervously through the forest. They had all been on patrol here, and every single one of them bore scars from encounters with the local wildlife or worse, the locals themselves. Every cracking twig and chittering creature caused the legionaries to jump and hug their pilum closer. At the head of the column, Rome rode with Supercilious. The commander slouched on his horse and seemed to grow more despondent the closer they got to the village.
"Come on, commander." said Rome, as cheerfully as he could manage. "Maybe we can reason with them."
"They won't listen to reason." the Roman replied hollowly. "We're going to get pounded into the ground. You'd just better hope that you can spot your captive in the confusion and grab him before the fighting gets too bad."
He looked into the trees despondently. They were thinning out and Rome could see that they were approaching a clearing.
"I hope you made your peace with the gods."
It looked like the entire village had turned out to greet them. Wait- Rome squinted- not the entire village- he could see one man tied to the trunk of a tree that supported a treehouse at the centre of the settlement. He had a gag in his mouth. The country frowned. How strange. Leaving thought of the man aside, Rome rode his horse up the path until he was just a few metres away from the villagers. Behind him, the other Romans clustered nervously at the edge of the forest.
"Citizens of.... this village!" he started, trying to sound as winning as possible. It was Greece who was good at this diplomacy stuff. "You are enemies of Rome harboring a fugitive. The punishment for such a transgression is death."
He paused for dramatic effect but all that happened was that the Gauls started laughing. Rome frowned angrily. Why were these barbarians so insolent when faced with the might of an empire? He waited for them to stop laughing and tried again.
"I am willing to negotiate. If you hand over my captive immediately, you will escape punishment."
More laughter. Louder, this time. He heard a villager mutter "These Romans are crazy."
Fine. If that was how this obstinate little village wanted to behave, it was no skin off his nose. They would know the consequences of slighting Rome himself. He turned to Supercilious.
"Commander, order your men to atta-"
He never finished the sentence. The Gauls surged forward as one seething, howling mass. Two in particular- an enormous fat one and a one that was short that he was almost lost in the crowd- were headed for him. Rome unsheathed his gladius.
"Right then." he grinned. "Let's show these barbarians how a nation fi-"
WHAM
The punch took him clean off his horse and caused him to land several feet away at the end of a trench made by his own backside. Rome blinked, stars exploding in his vision. He spat out a tooth.
"What in the name of Jupiter-"
A shadow fell over him. He looked up. Gaul grinned.
WHAM
In the corner of his vision, Rome could just about see Commander Supercilious hiding from the mob under his unconscious horse. I told you! he could see him mouthing. I told you!
***
The feasting that night went on until the early hours of the morning. Gaul thanked his saviours again and again, promising them that the nation would remember their courage and strength for ever. Asterix and Obelix were simply grateful that they'd been allowed the chance to punch the personification of Imperial Rome in the face. Truly, the village was favoured by the gods.
Meanwhile, Rome staggered through the forest, kept upright only by sheer willpower and the occasional tree. His dearest wish was to be back in the capital, where things were civilsed and nobody tried to sit on his head.
"No children." he promised himself once more. Then, as an afterthought, "I wonder if Britannia is nice this time of year."
Author/Artist: thewaterbandit
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Rome, France, Canada
Rating: U
Warnings: Another crossover! I swear I do write things other than crossovers but this one demanded to be written. :p
Summary: France tells a young Canada a bedtime story. Crossover with Asterix (yes really). Originally inspired by the 10 things meme.
Night had fallen over the small house that France and Canada shared. The younger country had eaten, bathed, and said his prayers, and now it was time for bed. He settled down in the rough homespun covers, and looked up to France, who was tucking him in.
"Big brother, tell me a bedtime story."
France smiled. "As if I would skip it tonight. Tell me, what do you wish to hear? Lancelot again?" He mimed swordfighting, and Canada giggled.
"No, I want to hear a story from when you were little. Like me." He snuggled down under the sheets and cuddled his bear. "Please."
France scratched his chin, apparently deep in thought, then began.
"Once upon a time, when I was small like you and men called me by a different name, there was a man who would not rest until he saw all the world under his feet-"
"Like England." Canada interrupted. France gave a snort of laughter.
"A bit, though neither would not be flattered by the comparison. Anyway, I thought I was telling this story?"
"I am sorry." The young country hugged his bear tighter. "Please go on."
"To begin at the beginning..."
***
Rome strode through the forest, yelling at the top of his lungs.
"GAUL!"
No reply. He tried again.
"GAUUL!"
Nothing. He cursed by Jupiter and Saturn and then by Mars for good measure. When he had captured the little boy, he seemed hardly big enough to cause any trouble. All that was needed was to tie him up until he could be taught civilized, Roman ways. Oh sure, the kid had struggled and cursed and threatened him with retribution from strange gods, but it was nothing he wasn't used to. And then the little brat had gotten out of his bonds and escaped. At least Greece and Egypt, troublesome as they were, were big enough that he couldn't misplace them.
"No children." he promised himself. "No children, ever again."
He bent down to look under a log. Several centipedes glared back. Straightening up, Rome looked around and spotted a thin trail of smoke rising from a large clearing ahead. He smiled. A garrison- good. He could ask them if they had seen his captive.
From the bushes, three pairs of eyes watched him leave.
"Why d'you reckon he was shouting about Gaul, Asterix?"
"I don't know, Obelix. Seemed like he'd lost something. I think we should tell the chief about this one."
"Woof."
***
Gaul didn't know how long he'd been running. Escaping from Rome had been pure luck, and he knew that he had to move fast to avoid being recaptured. At least he had the home advantage. This was his land, and he'd be damned if he let it go easily, even if he was just a child. Rome might be trampling all over Lutetia and Armorica, but Gaul would remain free. He continued running, following a tugging in his heart that led him to where the edge of the forest thinned out to the coast. Nestled between the woods and the sea lay a village. Gaul's breath caught in his throat. It was as if the Roman occupation- as if time itself- had passed this little community by.
"By Belenos..."
"Hey!"
A hand landed on his shoulder, making him jump and spin around, fists at the ready. But it wasn't Rome. He recognised them as his own people- a short, blond man whose winged helmet added about another five inches to his height, and a positively enormous giant in striped trousers who, Gaul could just about see, sported twin pigtails. The little man spoke again.
"Are you lost? Where are your parents?"
Gaul considered this. He wasn't sure about that last one himself.
"I have no parents." he decided, this being the least complicated explanation. The two men exchanged looks.
"What's your name, kid?" the giant asked. "I'm Obelix, and this is my friend Asterix." A small black and white dog peeked out from behind his leg. "And this is Dogmatix."
"I am Gaul." the country replied proudly. This prompted another look and a shared shrug.
"Of course you are." Asterix replied, in a tone that suggested that he didn't believe a word Gaul was saying. "Look, why don't you come with us to our village and we can sort out where your parents are and get you back to them, or whoever is supposed to be looking after you."
They started to walk off down towards the village, at a slow pace so that Gaul could keep up.
"This will be much easier if you tell us your real name, you know."
"I told you! I am Gaul!"
"Sure."
***
The Roman camp of Compendium snoozed in the late morning sunshine. It had been at least three days since the Gaulish village had last ransacked their camp and such a long period of quiet usually meant that one of the other three garrisons had done something to antagonize them instead. The little holiday meant that discipline had relaxed somewhat, and when Rome rode up to the entrance he was greeted to the sight of the legionaries on duty hanging their washing over the palisades.
"Ave!" he called. One of the legionaries looked up and casually returned his salute.
"Ave."
"I'm looking for the commander of this garrison."
"Old Supercilious is in his tent." the legionary jerked a soapy thumb over his shoulder. "In the middle."
Rome nodded his thanks and rode on into the camp. Again, signs of the three-day break in hostilities were everywhere. Legionaries were gathered in groups of two or three, gambling, eating, and trading stories. Rome caught snatches of them as he rode past.
"And then they joined the Roman Army..."
"So all the druids were gathered in one place to show off their talents..."
"And he ate the whole cake, poison or not!"
Dismounting outside of Supercilious' tent, Rome peered in through the flap. The garrison commander was sitting in front of a map with his head in his hands. As the country entered, he looked up and motioned him to sit down.
"Ave, Commander Supercilious." said Rome cautiously. The man, indeed his entire tent, looked as if he had gone toe-to-toe with a horde of barbarians.
"Ave, ave." he muttered, returning his gaze to the map. "What can I do for you, soldier?"
"I was riding through here with a captive- a Gaul." Rome began. At the mention of the word 'Gaul' the commander visibly flinched, though he nodded for Rome to continue. "And, well, he got away from me. I was wondering if any of your men had seen him at all? Or if you knew of any local villages where he might find shelter?"
Supercilious started to chuckle to himself. Rome's hand strayed to the hilt of his sword.
"Oh, I know exactly where your captive has gone to." he looked up, hysteria gleaming in his eyes. "Though you will not thank me for telling you."
His hand slammed onto the map, his fist centered on a spot between the ocean and the forest.
"That damned village!" he snarled, and Rome saw that the spot on the map was encircled by no less than four Roman garrisons, Compendium being one of them. Why would a small Gaulish village require such a force? The commander, oblivious to this, continued ranting.
"It's a village of demons! Every other day they simply turn up beat us bloody! Sometimes we don't even deserve it!"
Rome raised an eyebrow. "A highly trained Roman garrison is afraid of a rabble of barbarians?"
Supercilious shook his head and laughed.
"These are no ordinary barbarians. I've seen the oldest man in that village take on twenty of my legionaries and win. You saw those palisades out there?"
The country nodded.
"We have to rebuild them every week. When the Gaulish village attacks, nothing is left standing. It's the most powerful force for miles around and a rallying point for Gaulish resistance. If your captive is anywhere, he'll be there."
"Then we have to go and retrieve him." Rome replied decisively. The other man looked at him with horror.
"You can't provoke them! They'll get angry!"
Rome's eyes narrowed.
"You may be scared of a bunch of farmers, Supercilious, but I am not. That fugitive is vital to the empire and he will be recaptured. I am ordering you and your men to come with me."
"Very well. But let this be your warning-"
The garrison commander leaned forward and looked his nation squarely in the eyes. In the filtered light inside the tent, Rome could see that Supercilious hadn't slept or shaved in weeks.
"Welcome to Hades, soldier. Hope you paid the ferryman."
***
Meanwhile, in the infamous village, Asterix and Obelix had taken Gaul to their chief. Vitalstatstix, in turn, had called Getafix, the village druid, to help. Not that Getafix knew much about children- the chief had simply gotten used to having the old man around whenever they had a meeting.
"Well well, what do we have here?" Vitalstatistix asked, trying to be as jolly as possible. Children always made him uncomfortable. They were usually best left to his wife, Impedimenta, to handle.
"I am Gaul." replied the little boy, as he had been insisting for past half an hour. Vitalstatstix looked over at Obelix and Asterix and raised his eyebrows. Asterix took off his helmet and scratched his head.
"That's the only name we can get off of him, chief."
The Gaulish chief looked down at the kid again. Some people just didn't know how to discipline a child properly.
"Now, stop this nonsense. Who are you really?"
"I told you again and again." The country replied, stamping his foot. "I am Gaul!"
The chief appealed to his druid. This was clearly a matter for someone with magical training. Or anyone, really, other than Vitalstatistix himself.
"Getafix?"
The elderly man shuffled forwards and bent down, somewhat creakily, to Gaul's eye level. But, instead of asking the boy his name, he instead stared at him, very hard. Gaul shifted uncomfortably.
"Tell me, child." Getafix asked eventually. "Why did you seek out this village in particular?"
Gaul looked at him as if he had gone senile. "I am Gaul." he replied, and this time he seemed older, much older. "I have lived in this land for as long as I can remember, and it will be mine for longer than that. I know you all, and I know that you are my last free children. I have been running for this village ever since I escaped from Rome."
There was silence in the hut, broken only by the sounds Getafix made as he straightened up and turned towards the chief.
"There are legends among druids of spirits that embody a country and its people so fully that they take on human form. I had heard reports of such a phenomenon, but I had always believed it to be mere fantasy. Until today. Chief, I believe that this child is no less than the personification of Gaul itself."
"Himself." corrected Gaul.
Vitalstatistix groaned and pulled his helmet over his eyes.
"I suppose that means we can't find his parents, then."
Asterix was pacing the floor, thinking furiously.
"But that means that the other one was..." he stopped and looked over at Getafix. "Rome is here. And he's going to try and take Gaul from us."
"It is certainly only a matter of time." Getafix agreed.
Obelix could barely contain his glee.
"Can we fight him, Asterix? Can we can we can we?"
Asterix looked up at Vitalstatistix, who had perked up considerably at the mention of fighting. Never one to avoid a chance to make an heroic speech, surged to his feet and stood proudly on top of his shield.
"Well, if this child really is Gaul, then, by Toutatis, we shall defend him to our dying breaths! Getafix, brew up a cauldron of magic potion! Asterix, Obelix, assemble the village! If this Roma- Rome wants Gaul, then he's going to have to fight for it!"
***
The Romans moved nervously through the forest. They had all been on patrol here, and every single one of them bore scars from encounters with the local wildlife or worse, the locals themselves. Every cracking twig and chittering creature caused the legionaries to jump and hug their pilum closer. At the head of the column, Rome rode with Supercilious. The commander slouched on his horse and seemed to grow more despondent the closer they got to the village.
"Come on, commander." said Rome, as cheerfully as he could manage. "Maybe we can reason with them."
"They won't listen to reason." the Roman replied hollowly. "We're going to get pounded into the ground. You'd just better hope that you can spot your captive in the confusion and grab him before the fighting gets too bad."
He looked into the trees despondently. They were thinning out and Rome could see that they were approaching a clearing.
"I hope you made your peace with the gods."
It looked like the entire village had turned out to greet them. Wait- Rome squinted- not the entire village- he could see one man tied to the trunk of a tree that supported a treehouse at the centre of the settlement. He had a gag in his mouth. The country frowned. How strange. Leaving thought of the man aside, Rome rode his horse up the path until he was just a few metres away from the villagers. Behind him, the other Romans clustered nervously at the edge of the forest.
"Citizens of.... this village!" he started, trying to sound as winning as possible. It was Greece who was good at this diplomacy stuff. "You are enemies of Rome harboring a fugitive. The punishment for such a transgression is death."
He paused for dramatic effect but all that happened was that the Gauls started laughing. Rome frowned angrily. Why were these barbarians so insolent when faced with the might of an empire? He waited for them to stop laughing and tried again.
"I am willing to negotiate. If you hand over my captive immediately, you will escape punishment."
More laughter. Louder, this time. He heard a villager mutter "These Romans are crazy."
Fine. If that was how this obstinate little village wanted to behave, it was no skin off his nose. They would know the consequences of slighting Rome himself. He turned to Supercilious.
"Commander, order your men to atta-"
He never finished the sentence. The Gauls surged forward as one seething, howling mass. Two in particular- an enormous fat one and a one that was short that he was almost lost in the crowd- were headed for him. Rome unsheathed his gladius.
"Right then." he grinned. "Let's show these barbarians how a nation fi-"
WHAM
The punch took him clean off his horse and caused him to land several feet away at the end of a trench made by his own backside. Rome blinked, stars exploding in his vision. He spat out a tooth.
"What in the name of Jupiter-"
A shadow fell over him. He looked up. Gaul grinned.
WHAM
In the corner of his vision, Rome could just about see Commander Supercilious hiding from the mob under his unconscious horse. I told you! he could see him mouthing. I told you!
***
The feasting that night went on until the early hours of the morning. Gaul thanked his saviours again and again, promising them that the nation would remember their courage and strength for ever. Asterix and Obelix were simply grateful that they'd been allowed the chance to punch the personification of Imperial Rome in the face. Truly, the village was favoured by the gods.
Meanwhile, Rome staggered through the forest, kept upright only by sheer willpower and the occasional tree. His dearest wish was to be back in the capital, where things were civilsed and nobody tried to sit on his head.
"No children." he promised himself once more. Then, as an afterthought, "I wonder if Britannia is nice this time of year."