Corned Beef and Cabbage 1/1
anonymous
August 10 2011, 18:42:51 UTC
Why do I only write crack for the kink meme? Why?
America stepped out of the bedroom and held out his arms to show off his outfit.
“What’d you think? Fancy, right?” he said happily.
“Why? Why, why, why, why, for the love of God? Why are you wearing a meat-dress?”
That was not exactly the response America was hoping for. He shuffled his feet awkwardly. Anything done in a meat-dress automatically gets the adjective “awkward;” it is impossible to not be awkward in a meat-dress.
“Um. So. England. It’s almost St. Patrick’s Day!” America said, as way of explanation. “See the corned beef?”
England wrinkled his nose. “Salt beef, you mean? Where did you get all of that? You smell like a Reuben.”
“Dude, I’m America and it’s almost fucking St. Patrick’s Day and I’m away from home. Corned beef for the win, dude. I need this shit,” said America smugly. “Wanna touch it
( ... )
Corned Beef and Cabbage Notes
anonymous
August 10 2011, 19:02:26 UTC
I feel some notes are needed:
Corned beef and cabbage is not actually and Irish national food, not really. It is a food of Irish-American immigrants and is hugely popular around St. Patrick's Day. For those who have not had it, it is fantastic. In the UK, what Americans call corned beef is called salt beef, and is thought of as something of a Jewish food. You can really only get it in cities with sizable Jewish populations, so this is why England said they would go to a Jewish place instead.
What the English call corned beef is minced corned beef in gelatin and is usually sold in oblong tins.
On why England said they would have bad wine: in order for wine to be Kosher, a Jew who observes the Sabbath must be involved in every part of wine-making. Many Kosher-wines do not taste very good, for some reason, though there are plenty that do. England has one of the largest Jewish populations in Europe, so I think he would have definitely tried Kosher wine at one point or another.
Not!OP is dying of laughter
anonymous
August 10 2011, 19:19:09 UTC
Who says that crack can't be a good thing, author!anon, especially after a long and hard day when one just needs to laugh for a bit? This was pure comedy gold, and heeee at that perverted!England moment at the end.
OP Loves it!
anonymous
August 10 2011, 23:58:57 UTC
This was brilliant! I never imagined corned beef which would be hysterical. And America thought he could wear it to a restaurant? Save the sheets England!
Brilliant and crack is great. It's hard to not be crack with a prompt like this.
Whether or not his lover is horrified or decides to get busy with his own piece of meat is up to you. Go crazy!
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America stepped out of the bedroom and held out his arms to show off his outfit.
“What’d you think? Fancy, right?” he said happily.
“Why? Why, why, why, why, for the love of God? Why are you wearing a meat-dress?”
That was not exactly the response America was hoping for. He shuffled his feet awkwardly. Anything done in a meat-dress automatically gets the adjective “awkward;” it is impossible to not be awkward in a meat-dress.
“Um. So. England. It’s almost St. Patrick’s Day!” America said, as way of explanation. “See the corned beef?”
England wrinkled his nose. “Salt beef, you mean? Where did you get all of that? You smell like a Reuben.”
“Dude, I’m America and it’s almost fucking St. Patrick’s Day and I’m away from home. Corned beef for the win, dude. I need this shit,” said America smugly. “Wanna touch it ( ... )
Reply
Corned beef and cabbage is not actually and Irish national food, not really. It is a food of Irish-American immigrants and is hugely popular around St. Patrick's Day. For those who have not had it, it is fantastic. In the UK, what Americans call corned beef is called salt beef, and is thought of as something of a Jewish food. You can really only get it in cities with sizable Jewish populations, so this is why England said they would go to a Jewish place instead.
What the English call corned beef is minced corned beef in gelatin and is usually sold in oblong tins.
On why England said they would have bad wine: in order for wine to be Kosher, a Jew who observes the Sabbath must be involved in every part of wine-making. Many Kosher-wines do not taste very good, for some reason, though there are plenty that do. England has one of the largest Jewish populations in Europe, so I think he would have definitely tried Kosher wine at one point or another.
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I love England's "AUGH WHY ARE YOU SO FAIL" manry tears
and America's "WOOHOOO I'm wearing greasy animal products~"
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Brilliant and crack is great. It's hard to not be crack with a prompt like this.
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