Unexpected (Omake & A/N) Fr/US [Hints of US/UK, Fr/UK]
anonymous
June 11 2011, 16:22:42 UTC
Omake: He didn’t expect England to be the one looking for him.
He didn’t expect that he’d tell England everything.
He didn’t expect that England would take him home that night, to give tea to him, to attempt to cook for him, and to order take out for. He expected England would try to sleep with him.
That didn’t happen. But maybe another night.
(Bluh. I hate character limits. & Short omakes ^^^ Hope OP liked, and takes it easy, first time posting on a meme. that's why it's kinda rubbishy :P)
Re: Unexpected (Omake & A/N) Fr/US [Hints of US/UK, Fr/UK]
anonymous
June 11 2011, 19:58:34 UTC
;; Op is here. Yes, I loved it. It was sad but very much to the point which went well with the fast pace of the one night stand. It was as though France was remembering but didn't truly want to. The omake was sweet- it made it seem as though America, though he didn't show it, was quiet upset over it and that England was also upset.
One ques. :did you imply that England shamelessly flirts with others despite being with America? Just wanted to know.
I think America was deep down a little upset about it. But, as he ignores his abilities to read the Atmosphere, he probably also was just a little too vapid to see how upset France was.
BTW, I had America be, like in love with England, but take out his angst on France since England flirted with others but not him. I didn't have them together.
Yes. Twas OOC :P I even thought that while writing it. Heh. I mentioned he had been drinking, giving jerkass!America an excuse to be... well. Jerkass. It was my first time, so I understand. I hopefully will fill more things in the future and have them less OOC/crappy xD
I don't think America is OOC. The only OOC bit was the morning after. Because, well, when drunk, people tend to have all kinds of different personalities, so I can totally see this happening.
On the other hand, the way America apologised, and the way France reacted to the whole situation, since the part where America told him that he's 'an easy lay', or something among these lines, was VERY OOC, and kind of angered me, because I don't think France will take that shit from anyone, not without saying a thing. Maybe if he tried to resist, and America raped him forcefully.
Also, I don't think America would be forgiven that easily. France isn't like that-- He's a drama queen, and he's smart, and he lost his trust in America. I can't see anyone other than Canada (Maybe not even Canada) acting that way
( ... )
I don't think America is OOC. The only OOC bit was the morning after. Because, well, when drunk, people tend to have all kinds of different personalities, so I can totally see this happening.
On the other hand, the way America apologised, and the way France reacted to the whole situation, since the part where America told him that he's 'an easy lay', or something among these lines, was VERY OOC, and kind of angered me, because I don't think France will take that shit from anyone, not without saying a thing. Maybe if he tried to resist, and America raped him forcefully.
Also, I don't think America would be forgiven that easily. France isn't like that-- He's a drama queen, and he's smart, and he lost his trust in America. I can't see anyone other than Canada (Maybe not even Canada) acting that way
( ... )
I actually really appreciate the criticism. I'm slightly new to Hetalia fandom, thus characterization FAIL :P I'm going to work on it a lot more. Not my finest piece of work buuuuuut I'm getting there :) I agree with the France not taking shit thing, btw. If I could rewrite and make it so, I totally would. (Hmmm, maybe I should? nahh.) Thank you for the critiquing, though :D
Re: Unexpected (Omake & A/N) Fr/US [Hints of US/UK, Fr/UK]
anonymous
June 13 2011, 14:41:48 UTC
Wow this story is just wow. I think nobody was ooc. It's very hard to write France perfectly, I know. But I like your France. After an experience like this anybody would act ooc though. It must be shocking to France that he was not be able to seduce somebody, that he was only being used. Buut I think France would use America's slip up about England to his benefit later.
I'd love to see a sequel to this fic. It could be an angsty fic. America wants England, but England is oblivious or doesn't care about him in a romantic way. But he clearly cares about France at least that's what I got from the omake. So France is in a very good position to seek his revenge and to make America feel worthless. because above anon was right that if he just takes the whole thing without a word then he looks like Canada. Feel free to write a sequel. :)
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He didn’t expect England to be the one looking for him.
He didn’t expect that he’d tell England everything.
He didn’t expect that England would take him home that night, to give tea to him, to attempt to cook for him, and to order take out for. He expected England would try to sleep with him.
That didn’t happen. But maybe another night.
(Bluh. I hate character limits. & Short omakes ^^^ Hope OP liked, and takes it easy, first time posting on a meme. that's why it's kinda rubbishy :P)
Reply
One ques. :did you imply that England shamelessly flirts with others despite being with America? Just wanted to know.
Reply
I think America was deep down a little upset about it. But, as he ignores his abilities to read the Atmosphere, he probably also was just a little too vapid to see how upset France was.
BTW, I had America be, like in love with England, but take out his angst on France since England flirted with others but not him. I didn't have them together.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
I don't think America is OOC. The only OOC bit was the morning after. Because, well, when drunk, people tend to have all kinds of different personalities, so I can totally see this happening.
On the other hand, the way America apologised, and the way France reacted to the whole situation, since the part where America told him that he's 'an easy lay', or something among these lines, was VERY OOC, and kind of angered me, because I don't think France will take that shit from anyone, not without saying a thing. Maybe if he tried to resist, and America raped him forcefully.
Also, I don't think America would be forgiven that easily. France isn't like that-- He's a drama queen, and he's smart, and he lost his trust in America. I can't see anyone other than Canada (Maybe not even Canada) acting that way ( ... )
Reply
I don't think America is OOC. The only OOC bit was the morning after. Because, well, when drunk, people tend to have all kinds of different personalities, so I can totally see this happening.
On the other hand, the way America apologised, and the way France reacted to the whole situation, since the part where America told him that he's 'an easy lay', or something among these lines, was VERY OOC, and kind of angered me, because I don't think France will take that shit from anyone, not without saying a thing. Maybe if he tried to resist, and America raped him forcefully.
Also, I don't think America would be forgiven that easily. France isn't like that-- He's a drama queen, and he's smart, and he lost his trust in America. I can't see anyone other than Canada (Maybe not even Canada) acting that way ( ... )
Reply
I actually really appreciate the criticism. I'm slightly new to Hetalia fandom, thus characterization FAIL :P I'm going to work on it a lot more. Not my finest piece of work buuuuuut I'm getting there :) I agree with the France not taking shit thing, btw. If I could rewrite and make it so, I totally would. (Hmmm, maybe I should? nahh.) Thank you for the critiquing, though :D
Reply
I'd love to see a sequel to this fic. It could be an angsty fic. America wants England, but England is oblivious or doesn't care about him in a romantic way. But he clearly cares about France at least that's what I got from the omake. So France is in a very good position to seek his revenge and to make America feel worthless. because above anon was right that if he just takes the whole thing without a word then he looks like Canada. Feel free to write a sequel. :)
Reply
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