WE'RE STUUUUCKKKK
anonymous
February 9 2010, 05:31:51 UTC
Elevator hijinks.
Doesn't matter how it happens. Doesn't matter who is inside. Doesn't matter how many nations are stuck inside. All I want to see is chaos both inside and outside the elevator and HILARITY.
Because everything happens in the elevator and you know it.
The Great Elevator Massacre of 2010 (1/?)
anonymous
February 20 2010, 07:00:45 UTC
I don't know. I DON'T KNOW. I JUST WROTE IT. I'M SORRY. T_T
... Any jokes made in here are made with the greatest of affection. Rly. ♥ I speak the truth.
The Great Elevator Massacre of 2010
I.
“Hey,” said Germany. “This elevator isn’t moving anymore.”
There was a pause while everyone took stock of this, having been interrupted in their conversations (and in some British cases, enraged tirades). “Everyone” comprised of those nations that were strongest, cleverest, and most ruthless-that is, the ones who had shuffled their way into the first and only elevator in the building, and who were able to laugh at the misfortune of other, slower nations that would now climb twenty-eight staircases to get to the conference room. Twenty-eight long, steep staircases with smelly pipes and obscure arrows painted on the walls that lead to nowhere.
They were mighty. They were victorious.
They were…
“Oh fuck,” England said at last, “it really isn’t.”
Re: The Great Elevator Massacre of 2010 (1/?)
anonymous
February 20 2010, 07:17:49 UTC
Also, Russia liked America in the same way that little boys liked the ants they burnt on the sidewalks in the summer. Only with a little more pizzazz, and outer space.
The Great Elevator Massacre of 2010 (3/4)
anonymous
February 20 2010, 07:07:08 UTC
XII.
Minutes passed. Discussion happened and failed. The elevator opted not to budge an inch. France attempted to take off his pants twice, but was deterred once by Germany’s bark and the second time by England taking excessive action.
“I’m reasonably sure he’ll recover the use of that,” England informed everyone after he’d finished. In the corner, France joined Italy in the whimpering squads. “If he doesn’t, good riddance.”
The rest of them collectively wondered how long they would last before becoming the next victim.
“Excuse me,” Japan said politely, “but I’m starting to worry about something Italy said.”
They looked at him.
“No one’s come to get us yet… What if they opt to leave us here?”
“No one would be that mean,” protested America.
“Or that cunning,” England added.
XIII.
China looked around at the conference room, devoid of any other superpowers.
And he smiled. Oh, he smiled.
It was a dog-eat-dog world. And China had in fact eaten dog.
XIV. “I need the hands of healing!” shrieked France,
( ... )
The Great Elevator Massacre of 2010 (4/4)
anonymous
February 20 2010, 07:09:13 UTC
XVII.
Outside the elevator, a small crowd had amassed.
Lithuania paused on his way up the stairwell, peering inside the open doorway and into the corridor where the group was sitting. They were staring at something-when he leaned into the corridor further, he could see it was the elevator doors that were closed.
Re: The Great Elevator Massacre of 2010 (4/4)
anonymous
February 20 2010, 07:56:52 UTC
THERE'S NOTHING TO IGNORE, ANON, BECAUSE THIS IS ALL FUCKING BRILLIANT I would quote, but then I'd quote the entire thing. All the characters were amazingly in character and amazingly ridiculousXD
asdfjkl;you anon, you you YOU are awesome and I love you and do you want any children I'll bear them for you and JUST HAVE MY SOUL ;w; Seriously, this is more than I thought I would get and it's utterly hilarious ♥ So much love anon, so much love.
Doesn't matter how it happens. Doesn't matter who is inside. Doesn't matter how many nations are stuck inside. All I want to see is chaos both inside and outside the elevator and HILARITY.
Because everything happens in the elevator and you know it.
Reply
... Any jokes made in here are made with the greatest of affection. Rly. ♥ I speak the truth.
The Great Elevator Massacre of 2010
I.
“Hey,” said Germany. “This elevator isn’t moving anymore.”
There was a pause while everyone took stock of this, having been interrupted in their conversations (and in some British cases, enraged tirades). “Everyone” comprised of those nations that were strongest, cleverest, and most ruthless-that is, the ones who had shuffled their way into the first and only elevator in the building, and who were able to laugh at the misfortune of other, slower nations that would now climb twenty-eight staircases to get to the conference room. Twenty-eight long, steep staircases with smelly pipes and obscure arrows painted on the walls that lead to nowhere.
They were mighty. They were victorious.
They were…
“Oh fuck,” England said at last, “it really isn’t.”
Stuck.
II. They were eight ( ... )
Reply
*throws hands up*
Best Russia/America statement ever.
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O god Russia, why so terrifying? ♥
Reply
Minutes passed. Discussion happened and failed. The elevator opted not to budge an inch. France attempted to take off his pants twice, but was deterred once by Germany’s bark and the second time by England taking excessive action.
“I’m reasonably sure he’ll recover the use of that,” England informed everyone after he’d finished. In the corner, France joined Italy in the whimpering squads. “If he doesn’t, good riddance.”
The rest of them collectively wondered how long they would last before becoming the next victim.
“Excuse me,” Japan said politely, “but I’m starting to worry about something Italy said.”
They looked at him.
“No one’s come to get us yet… What if they opt to leave us here?”
“No one would be that mean,” protested America.
“Or that cunning,” England added.
XIII.
China looked around at the conference room, devoid of any other superpowers.
And he smiled. Oh, he smiled.
It was a dog-eat-dog world. And China had in fact eaten dog.
XIV. “I need the hands of healing!” shrieked France, ( ... )
Reply
Outside the elevator, a small crowd had amassed.
Lithuania paused on his way up the stairwell, peering inside the open doorway and into the corridor where the group was sitting. They were staring at something-when he leaned into the corridor further, he could see it was the elevator doors that were closed.
“Um,” he said, “I’m pretty sure it’s not coming.”
“Shh!” hissed the lot of them.
“We’re listening,” Greece informed him, eyes wide.
“It’s so touching,” Hungry said, tears in her eyes.
“It’s hilarious. I didn’t know America wore dresses. That little slut. We should’ve financially gang-banged him when we had the chance ( ... )
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I love you.
Reply
I would quote, but then I'd quote the entire thing. All the characters were amazingly in character and amazingly ridiculousXD
OMG, THE ENDING XDXDXDXDXDXDXD
Reply
Brb.
Oh god no wait, I'm still laughing.
Still.
And.
asdfjkl;you anon, you you YOU are awesome and I love you and do you want any children I'll bear them for you and JUST HAVE MY SOUL ;w;
Seriously, this is more than I thought I would get and it's utterly hilarious ♥ So much love anon, so much love.
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♥
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I SWORE NEVER TO HAVE BABIES BUT I WILL HAVE THEM FOR YOU ANON IF YOU WANT THEM.
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This is insane. This is in-character. This is really, really funny.
Kudos.
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NEVERTHELESS, FUCKING AWESOME ANON. Just, argh the plugs, the innuendo, I LOVE IT ALL really hopes you deanon one day
captcha: clambake society ..........................
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I don't even know anymore. Brain overload. Too much awesome.
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