"Canada's History", If You Know What I Mean *wink*
anonymous
February 5 2010, 22:57:22 UTC
America/Canada
"Evidently, Canadians don’t know that here in America, ‘Canada’s History’ is a euphemism for a sex act so depraved, I can’t describe it on TV. Let’s just say it involves moose antlers, a jug of maple syrup and the Stanley Cup." - Stephen Colbert on the Canadian magazine The Beaver's name-change due to Internet filters.
Anons, run with it!
Preferably no pr0n, considering some of the more disturbing ideas out there.
The Stanley Cup is Not a Sex Toy (1/?)
anonymous
April 2 2010, 05:57:14 UTC
The Stanley Cup is Not a Sex Toy
“Right then,” said Canada, slamming the jar of maple syrup on the table. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong or are we playing Twenty Questions?”
Seated before a towering plate of untouched pancakes, America scowled. He’d been scowling, in fact, most of the morning. “I don’t know, what makes you think there’s something wrong?”
“You haven’t eaten. Anything.”
“So?”
“So,” Canada pointed out, hand on his hip, “the only time you don’t eat food that’s in front of you is when you’re on your sickbed or it’s tofu. You don’t have a temperature, that is most definitely not tofu, and you’re still not eating anything.” He added, with more fondness than he’d care to admit, “I’m five seconds from calling your armed forces and reporting a national crisis. Why don’t you just come out with it
( ... )
The Stanley Cup is Not a Sex Toy (2/2)
anonymous
April 2 2010, 06:04:41 UTC
“And I don’t care how twisted and fucked up you are!” America exclaimed, ears bright red but gaze earnest. “But now I c-can’t help but wonder how long ago that was, and if… I know you wouldn’t cheat on me, but maybe I’m not exciting enough for you ‘cause I don’t let you shove animal parts in me
( ... )
Re: The Stanley Cup is Not a Sex Toy (2/2)
anonymous
April 2 2010, 06:30:51 UTC
You, dear anon, have just proved yourself to be as awesome as Colbert. Truly, the nation (Colbert's, I mean) is a wonderfully frightful thing to behold.
Re: The Stanley Cup is Not a Sex Toy (2/2)
anonymous
April 2 2010, 07:04:41 UTC
God yes, that was far too brilliantly funny for me to quote every funny line! XD I can't even pick a favorite. :O
The only problem is that I have to create a "Hella Funny" folder inside my "Kink Meme" folder and IT'S THE ONLY THING IN THERE. D: The only solution is for you to write more hilarity. :Db
"Evidently, Canadians don’t know that here in America, ‘Canada’s History’ is a euphemism for a sex act so depraved, I can’t describe it on TV. Let’s just say it involves moose antlers, a jug of maple syrup and the Stanley Cup." - Stephen Colbert on the Canadian magazine The Beaver's name-change due to Internet filters.
Anons, run with it!
Preferably no pr0n, considering some of the more disturbing ideas out there.
Reply
“Right then,” said Canada, slamming the jar of maple syrup on the table. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong or are we playing Twenty Questions?”
Seated before a towering plate of untouched pancakes, America scowled. He’d been scowling, in fact, most of the morning. “I don’t know, what makes you think there’s something wrong?”
“You haven’t eaten. Anything.”
“So?”
“So,” Canada pointed out, hand on his hip, “the only time you don’t eat food that’s in front of you is when you’re on your sickbed or it’s tofu. You don’t have a temperature, that is most definitely not tofu, and you’re still not eating anything.” He added, with more fondness than he’d care to admit, “I’m five seconds from calling your armed forces and reporting a national crisis. Why don’t you just come out with it ( ... )
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The only problem is that I have to create a "Hella Funny" folder inside my "Kink Meme" folder and IT'S THE ONLY THING IN THERE. D: The only solution is for you to write more hilarity. :Db
Reply
Because I'm a dumbass. That's why. Fucking curiousity...>.< Where do we come up with this shit?
Great fill though. :D "the term ‘Canada’s History’ is your not-so-enjoyably quirky slang" I lolled, and agree, wholeheartedly.
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Your Canada and America are so wonderfully written too <3
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Your Canada/America is adorable, btw. I'm sure they can invent some version of Canada's History that's just as depraved but a lot more fun.
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