Puppet Who 41-50
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chapter 41 herk (herk227 )
On Misrablous Soccous Nine-puppet rolled his eyes.
That was one thing puppets were really good at, so good in fact that it made almost up for the non-whistling part.
Ten-puppet was jumping all over the place and babbling as if he was Ernie-on-drugs or worse Grover, all just to impress Rose-puppet. *Or maybe he is on a soap high, would be possible, I lost sight of him for quite some time*
"Well at least the pit of despair had nothing to do with Jackie's bed room as I feared." he mumbled to himself.
"What?!" Rose puppet shrieked. She hit Nine-puppet as hard as her soft tiny fabric fists allowed (which wasn't overly impressive, she wandered how Ace had managed any damage) and turned to Ten-puppet.
Only to find him arm in arm with Zodin in a cackling contest. Obviously she was the only one unamused by the last comment. She threw her head up and chin in the air she began to walk in a faster pace to leave those idiots behind.
"Women, eh?" Zodin-puppet said.
"If your sister is an example for the females in your life, I can more than understand that comment, but really most women are perfectly nice people and Rose...." Ten-puppet began.
Nine-puppet interrupted him. "Yeah Rose is the perfect puppet alright - now can we please follow her?"
Ten looked a bit put off by his past's rude tone. He opened his mouth to speak, but Nine-puppet was quicker.
"Jeopardy-friendly." he reminded himself.
Both Doctor-puppets were racing behind Rose-puppet in a blink. Zodin had to hurry to catch up.
*
Somewhere else Tosh had fallen asleep with her brand new Master-puppet (TM) in her arm. When she reached REM - phase, the little 'evil' Time Lord managed to escape.
Luckily for him Toshiko Sato hadn't learned to leave alien technology in the hub (No one listened to Jack anyway, why should they? He was just a time traveller with over a century of experience and their boss). The little device on the night stand could easily be operated by puppet hands, and the Master-puppet recognized a death-ray button when he saw one.
So much for Tosh.
chapter 42 Bily
Meanwhile, back at the ranch (which has absolutely nothing to do with a ranch at all), the four brave puppets were about to descend into the Pit of Despair.
"I once did this," said Ten-puppet, readying himself. "Pit-descending. Back at the sanctuary base. Do you remember, Rose?"
"Yes, Doctor," replied Rose-puppet, rolling her eyes. "I remember it just fine."
"Well aren't you something?" commented Nine-puppet. Zodin simply cackled.
Suddenly, Nine-puppet had the urge to follow this act, and began to cackle himself. Of course, we all know how unfortunate it is that Christopher Eccleston cannot cackle. Therefore, Nine's cackle was more of a sputtering chortle.
But still, all four puppets began to cackle. Then, suddenly, Four-puppet appeared, and cackled. Of course, we all know how fortunate it is that Tom Baker can, indeed, cackle. Very well, actually. And so he began to cackle like he had never cackled before.
"Well, how about that?" said Ten-puppet, amused. "Cackling to the fourth power, eh?"
No one laughed. Except for Four-puppet, who was still cackling
chapter 43 herk (herk227 )
"What are you doing here? Didn't Romana want to drive somewhere and you were with her?" Nine-puppet asked.
"Oh you know women and driving." Ten-puppet commented immediately because the terrible power of 'Better loose a friend than a punchline' combined with his natural rudeness had gotten the better of him.
Puppet-Rose turned on her heel. "Hrmmph!"
Nine smiled innocently as if using the terrible power of 'Blaftap' had never crossed his mind.
Four-puppet still cackling was dematerializing, whichever Eddie had pulled him out of the TARDIS, Romana had obviously countered it.
chapter 44 ClocketPatch (clocketpatch )
“Right,” said puppet-Ten, “Enough delays. It’s time to find out what’s at the bottom of this pit.”
“Never mind you were causing most of those delays,” said puppet-Nine.
“I resent that,” said puppet-Ten.
At which point puppet-Ace (you really didn’t think she would sit around twiddling her thumbs in the TARDIS did you???) who had been following them all along, got fed-up and pushed puppet-Ten into the pit.
“Tell Rose I l-“ he cried out as he fell into oblivion.
“What was that for?” asked puppet-Nine, “not that I don’t think he deserved it.”
Then Four re-appeared with his scarf and they all used it to repel into the pit in a safe-ish fashion. He didn’t tell anyone that Romana had made the suggestion.
Unnoticed by everyone Zodin slipped away into the shadows (which was kind of unobservant of them considering how loud he was cackling).
chapter 45 herk (herk227 )
After dropping Four-puppet and his scarf on Misrablous Soccous Romana started the next try to get the little blue capped boy home.
The only problem was puppet-Leela who didn't let anyone through to the console again.
"Mine!" she growled.
"What's her problem?" Adric-puppet wanted to know.
"Soap-high." Romana-puppet answered. She had the answer to everything- the only problem was, what to do about it.
Jack-puppet wasn't keen on the prospect of being sliced open - again, but Romana was the most beautiful puppet he had ever seen. He turned to volunteer.
At the same time Jamie-puppet looked at the wee little lad who couldn't go home because of the crazy lass. Like said before he was a gentle man and couldn't see puppets cry. He pulled his toothpick and turned to face the beastie.
Together the Highlander and the former time agent managed to manoeuvre puppet-Leela into the washing room again.
"Well done Jamie-pup." Jack grinned. "Any damage done?" he asked.
"Nah, only - I think - that strange nightmarish ghost in the strange colours was trapped with her." Jamie-puppet said a bit disturbed.
Jack shrugged. "Maybe we are lucky and the colours won't stand a hot wash unharmed.- Come boy we did well, we deserve the prize of heroes."
He pulled Jamie-puppet, who was a bit concerned about the implications, with him, down the TARDIS' corridor.
*
Somewhere else the Master-puppet was bored.
chapter 46 Bily
Meanwhile, back at the ranch (or rather the pit), Nine-puppet was the last to reach the bottom of the pit. He quickly tied the scarf onto a nearby rock and proceeded to following the other puppets.
The first thing they saw was the unconscious Ten-puppet, lying motionless on the cold ground. Rose-puppet, of course, raced over to him immediately.
"Doctor!" she cried, kneeling down beside him. "Oh my God, are you okay?"
"Rose?" asked Ten-puppet, his voice hoarse.
"I'm here."
"Good," he said, almost whispering now. "I thought I'd lost you."
"What was it you wanted to tell me?"
"I wanted to tell you that I love..."
"Yes?"
"I love..."
"YES?!"
"I love..."
Rose was practically losing it by now.
"What is it?!"
"Just shut up a minute, will you? I wanted to tell you that I love those little cakes with edible ball bearings."
Rose simply went pale, her jaw dropping.
"Well," said Nine, smugly. "How's that for a confession of love?"
Of course, you can imagine what Rose did next. I do not know the exact graphic details, but I know for sure it ended with Nine being severed into exactly twenty-six pieces.
--------------------
Meanwhile, back at Torchwood 3, Master/Saxon-puppet was still bored. So he decided to go kill Tony Blair.
chapter 47 moonmonkey (moonmonkeylj )
Meanwhile, for lack of anything else to do, really, Five-puppet and Seven-puppet are poking around the control panels in the console room, trying to work out how to get the latest cricket scores up, when a faint beeping reaches their ears.
“That’ll be the washing machine, I’d say” remarks Five-puppet
“Hmm? Oh yes, that’s a thought - I wonder if Leela-puppet’s still in the laundry room?”
Five-puppet looks at Seven-puppet,
“Leela-puppet. Trapped in a small room. With a machine going ‘beep’?”
Seven-puppet looks at Five-puppet,
“Leela-puppet doesn’t like machines. Especially machines that go ‘beep’….”
In fact, back in the laundry room, Leela-puppet has been fascinated by the bright colours of the ghost coat swirling through the spin cycle. But then she hears a strange banging noise coming from behind the washing machine. She approaches suspiciously, creeps around the side and pounces on the strange object that’s flapping feebly on the floor..
As the budget won’t really stretch to Six having two puppets to play him, what remains of him after the escape of the magnificent, dominant, coat to play a part of its very own, is a wooden spoon, with a scrap of bubble wrap taped above a scowly, scrawly black felt-tip penned face, below which is tied a grubby piece of polka-dot rag.
Leela-puppet is puzzled “Who?”
“Grr”, says Six-part-puppet
“Friend?”, asks Leela-puppet,
“Raah”, says Six-part-puppet
And then the spin cycle finishes, and the machine starts to beep…
chapter 48 herk (herk227 )
Ace-puppet gave the little pieces a short look before she decided that picking up would take too much time.
"You really blew your chances with that girl, Professor." she observed.
Somewhere from the heap came a pleaded "Go look after her. I don't trust pretty-puppet to do it."
"OK-Everything you say, cotton-wool heap." Ace-puppet raced after Ten and Rose.
After all that had happened since they had landed on Misrablous Soccous Rose-puppet had enough of all Doctor-puppets, they really got on her nerves.
"Oi, wait for me puppet-mate." Ace shouted.
But Rose-puppet was too pissed of, to wait for any puppet. She strode on forward.
Ace raced after her, pushing Ten-puppet out of her way. If the pretty puppet couldn't keep up the speed he could stay behind as far as she cared. She was on a mission for Nine.
Ten-puppet protested weakly, but no one listened, so he shrugged and began to jog after his companions. With running somewhere he felt almost normal - running was good - he was very good at running.
***********
The Master-puppet meanwhile tried to get into Downing Street number 10. But the security was too tight, even a puppet couldn't get through.
After over an hour of trying to get past the guards someone took pity on him and told him that Tony Blair didn't live there any more.
"Bollocks"
chapter 49 Bily
After running for quite some time after Rose and Ace, Ten-puppet decided to stop and search for Zodin, who had disappeared over an hour ago. And so he turned round and backtracked, only to find the twenty-six pieces of Nine lying on the ground, attempting to cackle.
"You'll need to have some lessons," he remarked, passing Nine-puppet.
"Oi! You'll pay for this, pretty boy! Well, pretty puppet."
"That's Mr. Pretty Boy Puppet to you!"
After leaving poor Nine alone, Ten-puppet soon discovered where Zodin had actually gone to. He immediately noticed the teleport marked "#10 Downing Street" in blue Sharpie.
--------------------
Meanwhile, back at 10 Downing Street, and not a ranch at all, Master-puppet was scowling at Zodin.
"How the hell did you get in?" he asked Zodin angrily.
"Well," replied Zodin, stifling a cackle. "The trick is in the cackle."
"Really? Do tell."
"Yes, it all started when..."
And that was that.
chapter 50 moonmonkey (moonmonkeylj )
So, what’s at the bottom of the pit of despair? Why, the valley of the dolls, of course!
Rose-puppet and Ace-puppet round the corner, and find themselves confronted with the massed ranks of that doll whose name begins with B. Fashion Fever B*****, Red Carpet B******, Air Hostess B******, Island Princess B******, Gymkana B******, Nurse B******, GI B******, Nuclear Physicist B******.. And of course the crack squad, all 12 of the Dancing Princesses B******s. All of them chanting their war-cry, “Think Pink!, Think Pink!, Think Pink!!”
Rose-puppet looks at Ace-puppet, who’s already reaching over her shoulder for the trusty Nitro-9 and she yells across at her,
“Ace-puppet! Chuck us some of that nitro - we can do this!”
Ace-puppet replies,
“Oh no, Rose-puppet. This is my weapon. It’ll do for a start, but we need what you’re packing. Get out that mobile and get hold of Romana-puppet and tell her to bring Leela-puppet. And if you can reach them, we need everyone we can get our knitted little mitts on - Sarah-Jane-puppet kicks ass! And Jo-puppet and Tegan-puppet are always useful in close quarter hand on hand scrapping… And if all else fails we can always try to scare them with Peri-puppet and Mel-puppet. Just don’t tell Nyssa-puppet, she’ll only get all uppity on us…..”
“I’m on it!!” yells Rose-puppet. Then, looking over her shoulder at Ten-puppet, she mutters,
“Oh for…. I might have known all this would be too much for him”
Ten-puppet, who has by this time caught them up and is now just behind Rose-puppet and Ace-puppet, just can’t handle it. He’s bounced himself into some kind of a trance, and now he’s completely useless, hopping from foot to foot, glassy eyed (even more than usual for a puppet with marble eyeballs) muttering, ‘girl-puppet fight, girl-puppet fight, girl-puppet fight’ and cackling fit for Zodin…
next chapter
chapter 41 herk (herk227 )
On Misrablous Soccous Nine-puppet rolled his eyes.
That was one thing puppets were really good at, so good in fact that it made almost up for the non-whistling part.
Ten-puppet was jumping all over the place and babbling as if he was Ernie-on-drugs or worse Grover, all just to impress Rose-puppet. *Or maybe he is on a soap high, would be possible, I lost sight of him for quite some time*
"Well at least the pit of despair had nothing to do with Jackie's bed room as I feared." he mumbled to himself.
"What?!" Rose puppet shrieked. She hit Nine-puppet as hard as her soft tiny fabric fists allowed (which wasn't overly impressive, she wandered how Ace had managed any damage) and turned to Ten-puppet.
Only to find him arm in arm with Zodin in a cackling contest. Obviously she was the only one unamused by the last comment. She threw her head up and chin in the air she began to walk in a faster pace to leave those idiots behind.
"Women, eh?" Zodin-puppet said.
"If your sister is an example for the females in your life, I can more than understand that comment, but really most women are perfectly nice people and Rose...." Ten-puppet began.
Nine-puppet interrupted him. "Yeah Rose is the perfect puppet alright - now can we please follow her?"
Ten looked a bit put off by his past's rude tone. He opened his mouth to speak, but Nine-puppet was quicker.
"Jeopardy-friendly." he reminded himself.
Both Doctor-puppets were racing behind Rose-puppet in a blink. Zodin had to hurry to catch up.
*
Somewhere else Tosh had fallen asleep with her brand new Master-puppet (TM) in her arm. When she reached REM - phase, the little 'evil' Time Lord managed to escape.
Luckily for him Toshiko Sato hadn't learned to leave alien technology in the hub (No one listened to Jack anyway, why should they? He was just a time traveller with over a century of experience and their boss). The little device on the night stand could easily be operated by puppet hands, and the Master-puppet recognized a death-ray button when he saw one.
So much for Tosh.
chapter 42 Bily
Meanwhile, back at the ranch (which has absolutely nothing to do with a ranch at all), the four brave puppets were about to descend into the Pit of Despair.
"I once did this," said Ten-puppet, readying himself. "Pit-descending. Back at the sanctuary base. Do you remember, Rose?"
"Yes, Doctor," replied Rose-puppet, rolling her eyes. "I remember it just fine."
"Well aren't you something?" commented Nine-puppet. Zodin simply cackled.
Suddenly, Nine-puppet had the urge to follow this act, and began to cackle himself. Of course, we all know how unfortunate it is that Christopher Eccleston cannot cackle. Therefore, Nine's cackle was more of a sputtering chortle.
But still, all four puppets began to cackle. Then, suddenly, Four-puppet appeared, and cackled. Of course, we all know how fortunate it is that Tom Baker can, indeed, cackle. Very well, actually. And so he began to cackle like he had never cackled before.
"Well, how about that?" said Ten-puppet, amused. "Cackling to the fourth power, eh?"
No one laughed. Except for Four-puppet, who was still cackling
chapter 43 herk (herk227 )
"What are you doing here? Didn't Romana want to drive somewhere and you were with her?" Nine-puppet asked.
"Oh you know women and driving." Ten-puppet commented immediately because the terrible power of 'Better loose a friend than a punchline' combined with his natural rudeness had gotten the better of him.
Puppet-Rose turned on her heel. "Hrmmph!"
Nine smiled innocently as if using the terrible power of 'Blaftap' had never crossed his mind.
Four-puppet still cackling was dematerializing, whichever Eddie had pulled him out of the TARDIS, Romana had obviously countered it.
chapter 44 ClocketPatch (clocketpatch )
“Right,” said puppet-Ten, “Enough delays. It’s time to find out what’s at the bottom of this pit.”
“Never mind you were causing most of those delays,” said puppet-Nine.
“I resent that,” said puppet-Ten.
At which point puppet-Ace (you really didn’t think she would sit around twiddling her thumbs in the TARDIS did you???) who had been following them all along, got fed-up and pushed puppet-Ten into the pit.
“Tell Rose I l-“ he cried out as he fell into oblivion.
“What was that for?” asked puppet-Nine, “not that I don’t think he deserved it.”
Then Four re-appeared with his scarf and they all used it to repel into the pit in a safe-ish fashion. He didn’t tell anyone that Romana had made the suggestion.
Unnoticed by everyone Zodin slipped away into the shadows (which was kind of unobservant of them considering how loud he was cackling).
chapter 45 herk (herk227 )
After dropping Four-puppet and his scarf on Misrablous Soccous Romana started the next try to get the little blue capped boy home.
The only problem was puppet-Leela who didn't let anyone through to the console again.
"Mine!" she growled.
"What's her problem?" Adric-puppet wanted to know.
"Soap-high." Romana-puppet answered. She had the answer to everything- the only problem was, what to do about it.
Jack-puppet wasn't keen on the prospect of being sliced open - again, but Romana was the most beautiful puppet he had ever seen. He turned to volunteer.
At the same time Jamie-puppet looked at the wee little lad who couldn't go home because of the crazy lass. Like said before he was a gentle man and couldn't see puppets cry. He pulled his toothpick and turned to face the beastie.
Together the Highlander and the former time agent managed to manoeuvre puppet-Leela into the washing room again.
"Well done Jamie-pup." Jack grinned. "Any damage done?" he asked.
"Nah, only - I think - that strange nightmarish ghost in the strange colours was trapped with her." Jamie-puppet said a bit disturbed.
Jack shrugged. "Maybe we are lucky and the colours won't stand a hot wash unharmed.- Come boy we did well, we deserve the prize of heroes."
He pulled Jamie-puppet, who was a bit concerned about the implications, with him, down the TARDIS' corridor.
*
Somewhere else the Master-puppet was bored.
chapter 46 Bily
Meanwhile, back at the ranch (or rather the pit), Nine-puppet was the last to reach the bottom of the pit. He quickly tied the scarf onto a nearby rock and proceeded to following the other puppets.
The first thing they saw was the unconscious Ten-puppet, lying motionless on the cold ground. Rose-puppet, of course, raced over to him immediately.
"Doctor!" she cried, kneeling down beside him. "Oh my God, are you okay?"
"Rose?" asked Ten-puppet, his voice hoarse.
"I'm here."
"Good," he said, almost whispering now. "I thought I'd lost you."
"What was it you wanted to tell me?"
"I wanted to tell you that I love..."
"Yes?"
"I love..."
"YES?!"
"I love..."
Rose was practically losing it by now.
"What is it?!"
"Just shut up a minute, will you? I wanted to tell you that I love those little cakes with edible ball bearings."
Rose simply went pale, her jaw dropping.
"Well," said Nine, smugly. "How's that for a confession of love?"
Of course, you can imagine what Rose did next. I do not know the exact graphic details, but I know for sure it ended with Nine being severed into exactly twenty-six pieces.
--------------------
Meanwhile, back at Torchwood 3, Master/Saxon-puppet was still bored. So he decided to go kill Tony Blair.
chapter 47 moonmonkey (moonmonkeylj )
Meanwhile, for lack of anything else to do, really, Five-puppet and Seven-puppet are poking around the control panels in the console room, trying to work out how to get the latest cricket scores up, when a faint beeping reaches their ears.
“That’ll be the washing machine, I’d say” remarks Five-puppet
“Hmm? Oh yes, that’s a thought - I wonder if Leela-puppet’s still in the laundry room?”
Five-puppet looks at Seven-puppet,
“Leela-puppet. Trapped in a small room. With a machine going ‘beep’?”
Seven-puppet looks at Five-puppet,
“Leela-puppet doesn’t like machines. Especially machines that go ‘beep’….”
In fact, back in the laundry room, Leela-puppet has been fascinated by the bright colours of the ghost coat swirling through the spin cycle. But then she hears a strange banging noise coming from behind the washing machine. She approaches suspiciously, creeps around the side and pounces on the strange object that’s flapping feebly on the floor..
As the budget won’t really stretch to Six having two puppets to play him, what remains of him after the escape of the magnificent, dominant, coat to play a part of its very own, is a wooden spoon, with a scrap of bubble wrap taped above a scowly, scrawly black felt-tip penned face, below which is tied a grubby piece of polka-dot rag.
Leela-puppet is puzzled “Who?”
“Grr”, says Six-part-puppet
“Friend?”, asks Leela-puppet,
“Raah”, says Six-part-puppet
And then the spin cycle finishes, and the machine starts to beep…
chapter 48 herk (herk227 )
Ace-puppet gave the little pieces a short look before she decided that picking up would take too much time.
"You really blew your chances with that girl, Professor." she observed.
Somewhere from the heap came a pleaded "Go look after her. I don't trust pretty-puppet to do it."
"OK-Everything you say, cotton-wool heap." Ace-puppet raced after Ten and Rose.
After all that had happened since they had landed on Misrablous Soccous Rose-puppet had enough of all Doctor-puppets, they really got on her nerves.
"Oi, wait for me puppet-mate." Ace shouted.
But Rose-puppet was too pissed of, to wait for any puppet. She strode on forward.
Ace raced after her, pushing Ten-puppet out of her way. If the pretty puppet couldn't keep up the speed he could stay behind as far as she cared. She was on a mission for Nine.
Ten-puppet protested weakly, but no one listened, so he shrugged and began to jog after his companions. With running somewhere he felt almost normal - running was good - he was very good at running.
***********
The Master-puppet meanwhile tried to get into Downing Street number 10. But the security was too tight, even a puppet couldn't get through.
After over an hour of trying to get past the guards someone took pity on him and told him that Tony Blair didn't live there any more.
"Bollocks"
chapter 49 Bily
After running for quite some time after Rose and Ace, Ten-puppet decided to stop and search for Zodin, who had disappeared over an hour ago. And so he turned round and backtracked, only to find the twenty-six pieces of Nine lying on the ground, attempting to cackle.
"You'll need to have some lessons," he remarked, passing Nine-puppet.
"Oi! You'll pay for this, pretty boy! Well, pretty puppet."
"That's Mr. Pretty Boy Puppet to you!"
After leaving poor Nine alone, Ten-puppet soon discovered where Zodin had actually gone to. He immediately noticed the teleport marked "#10 Downing Street" in blue Sharpie.
--------------------
Meanwhile, back at 10 Downing Street, and not a ranch at all, Master-puppet was scowling at Zodin.
"How the hell did you get in?" he asked Zodin angrily.
"Well," replied Zodin, stifling a cackle. "The trick is in the cackle."
"Really? Do tell."
"Yes, it all started when..."
And that was that.
chapter 50 moonmonkey (moonmonkeylj )
So, what’s at the bottom of the pit of despair? Why, the valley of the dolls, of course!
Rose-puppet and Ace-puppet round the corner, and find themselves confronted with the massed ranks of that doll whose name begins with B. Fashion Fever B*****, Red Carpet B******, Air Hostess B******, Island Princess B******, Gymkana B******, Nurse B******, GI B******, Nuclear Physicist B******.. And of course the crack squad, all 12 of the Dancing Princesses B******s. All of them chanting their war-cry, “Think Pink!, Think Pink!, Think Pink!!”
Rose-puppet looks at Ace-puppet, who’s already reaching over her shoulder for the trusty Nitro-9 and she yells across at her,
“Ace-puppet! Chuck us some of that nitro - we can do this!”
Ace-puppet replies,
“Oh no, Rose-puppet. This is my weapon. It’ll do for a start, but we need what you’re packing. Get out that mobile and get hold of Romana-puppet and tell her to bring Leela-puppet. And if you can reach them, we need everyone we can get our knitted little mitts on - Sarah-Jane-puppet kicks ass! And Jo-puppet and Tegan-puppet are always useful in close quarter hand on hand scrapping… And if all else fails we can always try to scare them with Peri-puppet and Mel-puppet. Just don’t tell Nyssa-puppet, she’ll only get all uppity on us…..”
“I’m on it!!” yells Rose-puppet. Then, looking over her shoulder at Ten-puppet, she mutters,
“Oh for…. I might have known all this would be too much for him”
Ten-puppet, who has by this time caught them up and is now just behind Rose-puppet and Ace-puppet, just can’t handle it. He’s bounced himself into some kind of a trance, and now he’s completely useless, hopping from foot to foot, glassy eyed (even more than usual for a puppet with marble eyeballs) muttering, ‘girl-puppet fight, girl-puppet fight, girl-puppet fight’ and cackling fit for Zodin…
next chapter