issues
"Mayakovsky"
Now I am quietly waiting
for the catastrophe of my personality
to seem beautiful again,
and interesting, and modern.
The country is grey and
brown and white in trees,
snows and skies of laughter
always diminishing, less funny
not just darker, not just grey.
It may be the coldest day of
the year, what does he think of
that? I mean, what do I? And if I do,
perhaps I am myself again.
- from Meditations in an Emergency by Frank O’Hara, as read by Don Draper of Mad Men
I'm not one for poetry, but god, this one is beautiful (and, at the moment, fitting).
I never realized until this summer how impossibly messed up I am. It just goes to show that even if you were brought up surrounded by supportive friends and family ever since you were born, you can still fuck yourself up pretty badly. There's no one else I can blame but myself. Being in a relationship has forced me to analyze and admit my flaws, and I hate it, but it's healthy. And that's why I'm so thankful for Mark. Because someone is finally pushing me to take my own advice already and become a better person. I hope that someday soon, I will find my ground.
Now I am quietly waiting
for the catastrophe of my personality
to seem beautiful again,
and interesting, and modern.
The country is grey and
brown and white in trees,
snows and skies of laughter
always diminishing, less funny
not just darker, not just grey.
It may be the coldest day of
the year, what does he think of
that? I mean, what do I? And if I do,
perhaps I am myself again.
- from Meditations in an Emergency by Frank O’Hara, as read by Don Draper of Mad Men
I'm not one for poetry, but god, this one is beautiful (and, at the moment, fitting).
I never realized until this summer how impossibly messed up I am. It just goes to show that even if you were brought up surrounded by supportive friends and family ever since you were born, you can still fuck yourself up pretty badly. There's no one else I can blame but myself. Being in a relationship has forced me to analyze and admit my flaws, and I hate it, but it's healthy. And that's why I'm so thankful for Mark. Because someone is finally pushing me to take my own advice already and become a better person. I hope that someday soon, I will find my ground.