Battle Grounds (Jared/Jensen, Jared/Chad, NC-17, Part Two)
Title: Battle Grounds
Author: hellsprayer
Word Count: ~4,800
Rating: NC-17
Summary: There are things you want. And things you want more. They both want Jared, and are prepared to fight to prove it.
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, Jared/Chad
Part 2 of 3.
They meet up at one-thirty five, but Jensen’s been there since one-ten. He was eager; nervous. His leg tapped unconsciously and he kept chewing at the inside of his lip. He got a table, made sure that he didn’t order anything until Jared got there even though the waitress kept insisting he got at least a coffee to start off.
“I’m fine,” he kept answering almost stubbornly. Each time she rolled her eyes, shook her head, and went back the way she had came.
Jensen had spotted Jared before he’d even got out of his car. He remembered it’s dark blue color and Jared’s tall silhouette stuck out like a sore thumb. Jared had parked, spotted Jensen through the window, and smiled that perfect smile at him before reaching out for the door and entering the diner.
He took a seat across from Jensen, bearing teeth and already reaching for the menu. “I’m starving,” he says and cracks a smile. And Jensen can hear his heart racing in his ear.
Slow the fuck down, he wants to tell himself. Because there’s no telling if this is a two-way street. But who was Jensen kidding. If it looks like a date, smells like a date, and feels like a date -- it’s a date.
But Jensen’s used to getting hurt and the last thing he wants to do is get too ahead of himself and lose his footing. Jared’s a nice guy, and sometimes that can be off-putting to everyone else. And he might be giving out the wrong signals without even realizing it. Friendliness does not equal flirting. Not usually.
“So have you been here before?” Jensen asks, licking his thumb before fingering through the pages in the menu. He skimmed over it ghostly, but he already knew what he wanted. Had an excess of about fifteen minutes to think it over.
Jared tells him that he’s been here a couple of times with a close friend.
They go through the routine of small talk just moments before the waitress comes back. The same old, “How’re you? How’d you sleep? Nice weather, huh?” Blah, blah, fucking blah.
Jared smiles at her, charm hitting her right up the skirt and she giggles when he places his order. Nothing put a short stack of pancakes and a coffee and for Jensen a grilled chicken sandwich, but when she’s talking to Jared she’s giddy, smiling stupidly, and twirling her hair.
Back off, bitch.
Over food and coffee that get down to the real stuff. The things that take them an extra second to think about how they’re going to answer. The part where they really get to know each other. Past relationships and current ones, ambitions and morals.
Jensen likes the way Jared talks. It’s slow and sexy just like him. He’s got a soothing tone to his voice that’s soft but crisp at the same time. The kind that grabs your attention and makes you listen. And Jensen does. He’s hanging on the cliff at the end of each of Jared’s sentences.
“Relationships have always been shaky for me. Bad luck, I guess. Nothing ever really works right when it’s time to get real,” Jared explains. He takes a sip of his coffee, tries to shake off the fact that he’s really digging deep here. Jeez, first dates are tough.
There’s sincerity in Jared’s eyes when he breaks the tension by saying he’s really glad he came. And that’s the best thing Jensen’s heard all week. He drops his hands from supporting his chin to on the table and they fall less than centimeters from Jared’s.
There wasn’t hesitation when Jared intertwines his fingers loosely with Jensen’s.
“Really glad I came,” he says, and laughs a little. And Jensen could listen to him laugh all day. It’s light and contagious. Jensen can’t help but mirror him each time, letting out a laugh, too. There’s a light in Jared’s eyes when he smiles that Jensen could swear was lighting the whole room.
Jared’s fingers slide against Jensen’s as he asks, “So what was your longest relationship?”
And Jensen really as to think about this because honestly, he doesn’t know. He’s had flings, little on-and-off’s, and he’s had one night stands, too. But none were really relationships in Jensen’s eyes. Sure he’s seen some of the guys after, but when he thought about what a relationship should be and could be, he’s sure he’s never had one. He doesn’t want to say it, though and he says, “Seven months,” instead, and watches Jared’s eyebrows raise. Instantly he regrets what he’s said.
“Wow,” Jared answers, breathy. “Longer than me, man. So hat’s off to you.”
Jensen’s eyebrow arches. He finds that hard to believe, though. Shame on the rest of the world. Anyone who’s had Jared, even for a fucking second, should’ve done all they could to make him stay. Oh well, right? Finders, keepers.
That’s exactly what he planned on doing.
The waitress comes back, flips her hair and asks, “Can I get you anything else?”
“Sweetheart, I’d love a coffee,” came a voice that wasn't Jared’s nor Jensen’s.
Jared sat straight and pulled his hands back . “Chad.”
He’s tall, blond, and confident. Jensen eyes him, watches the way he places his hand on Jared’s shoulder and how almost instantly Jared scoots inward to give him room. Both he and Jared lock eyes and it’s like they’re having a conversation in their head, and just like that Jensen feels like some sort of third wheel.
“So who’s this?” he cuts in. But he’s already got an idea. He can’t be sure, but he’s almost positive this is the asshole he had a few words with on the phone this morning. Funny, Jensen said that he had a few choice words for him if they ever met. Now he can’t even think of one.
Jared points in Chad’s direction then at Jensen. “Chad, Jensen. Jensen, Chad.”
Jensen holds his hand out for him to shake. Chad slaps it instead, followed by a “Hey, man,” half-heartedly.
Chad eyes Jensen. He’s got a pretty face,prettier eyes, and mouth that just screamed to be used. His voice was almost a growl, even in happier tones. And his smile was so straight, it was unfair. He was an actor, Chad knew that much. But other than that, it was blank. But Chad knew this: Jared liked him. And that didn’t sit right with him.
“Correct me if I’m wrong,” Jensen says, adjusting in his seat. His eyes flash over at Jared, then back at Chad. “But we spoke this morning? On the phone?”
Well aren’t you smarter than the average bear, Chad thinks to himself. But he pushes his mouth up into a smile and nods. “Yeah, we did. Nice to meet you in person.”
Jared looks over at Chad but doesn’t say anything to him. Instead, he looks at Jensen.
“Chad’s my best friend,” Jared says, and he’s just trying to break the silence. He never thought it’d be this weird. Jensen nods and tried not to roll his eyes, but he’s sure he does.
Jensen and Chad stare each other down, and it’s like an unspoken war, but suddenly they both get the picture. And the picture is tall, and beautiful, and humble. The picture’s got long hair, bangs, and a perfect smile; and it’s sitting right there.
Clearing his throat, Jensen says, “So how’d you guys meet?”
He can see Jared swallow hard. His eyes flash toward the door and then down at his hands. And Jensen’s never seen him like this: shy, quiet. He knows something’s up, and he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like the way Jared acts around Chad. Like he’s walking on eggshells to say the right thing and act the right way. Jensen’s eyes narrow at Chad. If looks could kill…
Chad just smirks.
Wouldn’t you like to know, Jensen.
And he may not have meant it to be apparent, but Jared flashes Chad a warning glare before staring down at the table. Chad blinks once, twice, three times before answering, “A party when we were kids. Been friends ever since.”
Then there’s relief on Jared’s face and it gives Jensen a heated feeling in his stomach. Suddenly all he wants to do is leave; more for Jared’s sake than his own.
Chad stretches his arm and places it on the booth’s top just behind Jared.
“So an actor, huh?” Chad blurts with more enthusiasm than he should. “Jared’s been telling me that you’re going out for the role opposite of his for that show.”
Jensen nods, says it’s been a long process, but he thinks that everything’s going to work out fine. He makes it crisp that he and Jared worked fine together right from the start, and would make a good team.
Jared comes alive again, and the spark in his eyes are back. “We really did a good job, dude, I told you,” he says to Chad. And Jensen takes notice at how he watches Jared mouth with a look that’s all but best-friend-like.
He clears his throat, fixes his arm behind Jared and says, “Yeah, I was thinking about giving it a try, too. Jared really got me interested. I was thinking about trying Dean.”
Jensen could’ve flipped the goddamned table.
His eyes catch Chad’s and there’s only one thing written in them: Don’t you fucking dare.
--- --- ---
It took an hour and a half, but Jensen finally shakes loose of Chad. They both go their separate ways with Jared telling Chad that he doesn’t have to take the bus back home. He can take the car because he’s riding with Jensen, and the look on Chad’s face is priceless in Jensen’s eyes.
“I’ll be back tonight,” Jared says and they hug. Jensen watches Chad’s hand slide down Jared’s back and halt just at the small of his back. And Jensen wants to pull him back, say they’ve got to go. But he heads to the car instead and watches them, a little too closely, from the rearview mirror.
Jensen thinks that either they always act like this, or he’s overreacting, because Chad treats him like way more than just a friend. He’s got this tone in his voice when talking about he and Jared that’s borderline protective; and looks at him like he’s seconds away from bending him over and fucking him senseless. Jensen wonders if he ever has.
--- --- ---
Chad drove home with white knuckles gripping the top of the steering wheel. He replayed parts in his head, cursing at himself. And it’s crazy; because he doesn’t mean to act like this. Chad can be an asshole, sure. No problem. But the way he acts in defense of Jensen is even something that’s kind of shocking to himself.
But it’s for a good cause if he’s ever seen one.
Chad pulls into the parking lot of their apartment complex. He remembers the look in Jared’s face before he’d made his grand entrance. He looked happy, smiling effortlessly at Jensen. And for a second he told himself to go back the way he came. But something inside him wouldn’t let it end at that.
It’s starting to shock Chad what he’ll do. And he’s not sure if doing this is worth ruining all that he and Jared ever had. Friendship or relationship?
They could have both. A relationship built off friendship.
Honestly, Chad’s tired of being just a friend.
--- --- ---
By eight o’clock, they’re at a bar with the name “Marlo’s” written in red neon lights. It’s smoky inside the bar. It’s pretty full inside and soft rock is playing over the stereo.
“I come here all the time, it’s a great place,” Jensen says to Jared. He has to lean in close to make sure he can hear him over the mix of voices and the music.
Jensen’s hand lay on the belt of Jared, steering him to an open table. They sit on the same side of the booth and talk closer than they need to. Jared can see perfectly into Jensen’s eyes and he’s never not stunned at how green they are. Emerald green. Beautiful.
“What’ll it be, guys?” asked a man with a notepad and a fading hairline.
Jensen orders them two beers and tells Jared that it’s on him before he even reaches for his wallet.
“So Chad,” Jensen says, and they both smile though nothing’s funny. “He’s…interesting.” Jensen chooses his words wisely. Even though he’d like to stick a fork in Chad for good, he knows that whether he likes it or not, he’s sill Jared’s best friend.
“Yeah, I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Jensen lies. Then follows up with, “I had a great day with you, nonetheless.”
The waiter comes back with their drinks but they don’t even notice. They blow through absentminded topics about music, back home, acting and before he knew it, Jensen was leaning in, catching Jared’s mouth with his. His mouth was soft and perfect and welcoming just like Jensen though it would be. The kiss was warm, and it sends a feeling down Jensen’s body and straight to his cock. Jared let’s Jensen’s hand slide down his side, stopping on his inner thigh and pushing his legs apart.
His hand works it's way up, fingers teasing and grips the base of Jared's cock. Jared moans into his mouth, vibrating his lips against Jensen’s.
Jensen kisses his jaw line all the way up to his ear and whispers, “Wanna get out of here?”
And he does. He wants to so fucking bad. Jared nods pressing their lips together again. Jensen stands, holds out his hand for Jared to take and they head for the door.
--- --- --
They barely make it into Jensen’s apartment before they’ve got hands gripping, mouths searching and rutting against each other. The door slams shut and Jensen walks Jared backward until they reach the couch. They feel around in the dark, Jensen’s hands slide up Jared’s shirt tracing every muscle and stopping at his chest. He works almost effortlessly at unbuttoning Jared’s shirt and kissing him twice.
He lays Jared on his back, kisses at his neck and works at his belt. His mouth is hot and slippery against Jared’s skin. He presses slow open-mouthed kisses across his collar bone. And he can feel Jared’s heart beating. It’s fast and he’s panting, pushing upward against him, trying to get some kind of friction.
Jensen’s hands slide into his hair and he says, “Relax,” against his ear so slow it’s almost hypnotizing and he places a kiss right over Jared’s pulse.
Jared sits up, catching Jensen’s mouth with his and he pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it to the ground. Jared kisses down his chest, over his stomach and just above his belt line. He licks at his hipbones, fumbling with his belt and pulling it from around his waist in one swift pull.
Before he could go any further, Jensen pushes him back down, strips him of his shirt and works his pants down his legs. He grips Jared’s cock and it’s already half-hard. It’s long, thick and God, Jensen’s barely keeping together at this point.
Jared’s bucking up into his hand mumbling, “Fuck, yeah, oh my god, Jensen…”
He mouths over the base of his cock, wetting the fabric and sucking. His hands slide over Jared’s thighs with Jared’s hands resting at the top of his head steering him right where he wants him.
Jensen kisses up the length of his cock, pulls down the only layer left and takes all of him into his mouth. Jensen’s mouth is hot and ready, wet and smooth. He jerks the base of Jared’s dick, filling his mouth with the other and meeting his mouth with his hand somewhere in the middle. He looks up at Jared with his head back, hair thrown and huffing.
But he doesn’t even let Jensen get situated before he’s pushing him backwards and pulling his jeans and boxers down his legs. Jensen smiles a little when Jared kisses him and watches him break the kiss to settle on his knees. He’s got Jensen in the sitting position, legs apart and Jared on the floor. He’s sucking, licking, kissing at his cock and Jensen’s at a loss for words and breath.
His hands grip the back of Jared’s hair and guides him in a upbeat series of bobs. Up and down up and down.
Jared’s tongue slides over the head of his cock and Jensen bucks forward into his mouth, throwing his head back sucking in air. He can feel Jared smiling, readjusting his hands around his hips to keep him steady.
“Oh my god, your mouth.” Jensen’s panting nonsense into the air, licking his lips. “Fucking perfect mouth.” Jared sucks hard and takes Jensen as far as he can go, and then a little deeper. He pulls back breathless; mouth hung, wet, and used. He’s looking up at Jensen through his bang and his chest is heaving, jerking his cock slowly; and Jensen knows that he’ll never be able to get that sight out of his head even after all this is over.
“C’mere,” Jensen says, helping Jared to his feet.
He leads him to the bedroom, kissing him roughly between steps.
Jensen pushes him back in the bed, kisses up his torso and up his body until he gets to his mouth again.
“I want to fuck you so bad.” Jensen voice is breathy, intertwined with lust and passion. He thumbs over Jared’s lower lip before kissing him again, deep and wanting,. “So. Fucking. Bad.”
Jared’s legs open and he pulls Jensen toward him. His cock is pushing against his ass and they’re both a little over-eager. Jensen wets his hand, strokes a few times before lining up. He pushes in slowly and watches Jared’s face. He’s got his eyes squeezed shut and he can tell he’s holding his breath, mentally pushing himself through the initial sting.
He’s no virgin, Jared isn’t, but it’s been a while since he’s done this. He can feel Jensen pushing in deeper, pain mixing with pleasure. Jensen’s hovering over him, kissing his neck, his cheek, his lips ghosting over him. He pushes in a little more mumbling, “You’re so fucking tight. Oh, fuck.”
A minute later and Jared’s bracing himself with his hands pressed flat against the headboard with Jensen pushing into him faster, faster, faster.
“Fuck me, fuck me. Yes, Jensen,fuck.” Jared’s voice is breathy and soft but it’s gripping Jensen by the cock and giving him drive. He kisses Jared again, sloppy and wet with clashing teeth. His hands have settled on his hipbones and he’s gripping tight, but not too tight.
Jared’s hair is sweeping across his forehead, chest and stomach glistening in the moonlight, moaning mixed words as he presses his head into the pillow. And this is the sexiest thing Jensen’s ever seen. He lets his hands slide down Jared’s stomach, grips his cock and jerks him in time with his strokes. He watches Jared’s stomach muscles tighten and his mouth drop into an ‘O’.
Jensen leans forward, biting at Jared’s lower lip and pushes into him harder. His stomach slides over Jared’s cock with each stroke and he can feel him pushing up and onto his stomach and then back onto his cock.
He comes first right inside of Jared, mid-stroke. He falls forward onto Jared’s chest, hot breath flowing over his midsection. Orgasm takes hold of all of Jensen, stiffening him and leaving him breathless.
He pulls out, locking his lips with Jared again before gripping his cock and stroking him hard and fast. Jared’s hand grips Jensen’s arm, toes curling, and muscles tightening. He can feel warmness in his stomach and throughout his whole body. Jensen’s lips press against his ear lobe, coaching soft and sexy, “C’mon baby, come for me, that’s it, come on.”
Jared’s body arches upward, coming over his stomach and Jensen’s hand. His head falls into the nape of Jensen’s neck, panting brokenly.
They lay there with Jared on his back and Jensen on his side just staring at him. He cards through his hair, brushing it away from his eyes and kisses him softly on the lips. Jared smiles up at him and he looks tired. He’s got this mix of adorableness and sexiness and it makes Jensen feel like he’s ready to go at it all over again just by that look alone.
Jared falls asleep no more than ten minutes after that with Jensen’s arm slung over him, fingers sliding absently through the back of his hair. Jensen likes this way this feels. The way Jared feels in his arms. And this feels right.
Jensen presses his lips to Jared’s forehead before pulling him closer and finally closing his eyes.
--- --- ---
When Jared wakes up it’s 4:31 in the morning.
Fuck.
Jared eases out of Jensen’s arms and stands looking for his pants but remembering that they’re somewhere in the living room.
“What’re you doin’,” Jensen slurs, wiping sleep out of his eyes.
“I’ve got to go, I’m sorry.”
“Go?”
“I’m sorry.”
Jared kisses him softly.
“Why?”
And there’s a silence that let’s Jensen know exactly what’s coming. Jared swallows hard before saying, “Chad’s probably worried sick.”
“What is he, your father?”
Jared’s eyes narrow. He huffs, “Of course not.”
“Your boyfriend or something?”
“Jensen.” And Jared’s voice has a hint of annoyance in it. But honestly he don’t know. This is one fucked up thing he’s got himself in and he knows it.
Instead of trying to explain he takes Jensen’s chin, kisses him again and whispers, “I’m sorry,” against his lips.
“Call me tomorrow?” Jared says and there’s a look on his face that sort of cripples Jensen. He nods despite the acid in his stomach as he watches Jared feel his way back into the living room for his clothes.
When he hears the front door fall closed he squeezes his eyes shut in frustration.
Fuck.
--- --- ---
Chad’s awake when Jared finally gets home a little after five in the morning. He’s in their bedroom, staring out the window. It’s eerie in their apartment, cold, and silent.
“You okay?” is the first thing Jared says to Chad, with his back still turned toward him.
He doesn’t look back, but he gives a fake thumbs up toward Jared before lying on his bed, still not facing him.
Jared falls into his bed, closes his eyes. And the only thing he can think is: what the fuck am I doing?
--- --- ---
Jensen doesn’t sleep that night. He can’t.
He keeps replaying it over and over in his head through, and he has to keep telling himself that it wasn’t a dream.
He grips the front of his hair, and squeezes his eyes shut hard and hopes that maybe it could block out all this emotion. Emotions and feelings that he never signed up for but here they are. But Jared’s different than anyone he’s ever met, so this isn’t really a surprise.
But he’s confused, Jensen can see that, and it’s killing him.
The fact that it feels like Jared’s trying to balance both him and Chad doesn’t make him angry like it should. Not angry at Jared, that is. Angry at Chad, maybe, for being such a big part of his life. Angry that he can see that all of this is driving to a place where Jared might have to choose.
Angry that he has just as big of a chance at winning as he’s got at losing.
--- --- ---
The shower drowns out the noise, but it doesn’t silence Jensen’s voice in the back of his head. He lets the water run over his head and down his face and watches the drops of water fall onto the tile below him.
The door opens and he can see Chad’s shadow through the distortion of the shower curtain.
“Are you alright?” Chad says, and there’s a heaviness in his voice that he doesn’t even try to hide. Jared pushes his hair back, but it falls right back onto his face despite it. He nods, though he’s not sure Chad’s even looking in his direction.
“’M fine.”
Chad huffs. “Liar.”
Jared’s silent. He rubs the side of his face and presses his other hand against the checkered wall for stability.
Before he knows it, Chad pulls the shower curtain back and now they’re both getting sprayed with water. Neither are looking elsewhere besides right into each other’s eyes, because they both know something wrong. Something that neither of them want to address.
“He fucked you,” Chad says, and maybe it was meant to be a question but he says it with certainty that Jared couldn’t even begin to lie if he wanted to. Jared searches his eyes for something. Something that he’s trying to hide, but is doing a bad job at doing so.
Jared’s throat is tight. “You’re mad.”
Chad shakes his head, pushes out his lower lip a little and smiles but it’s as fake as his next sentence. “I’m not mad.”
Jared looks away, water splashing his side. “Liar.”
They lock eyes and Chad takes a step closer.
“I’m not mad,” Chad says again, but it doesn’t sound anymore convincing and Jared wonders how he ever got an acting job in his life. He’s horrible under pressure, under real emotion.
And before Jared could even reply Chad had him by the hips pushing him against the wall and kissing him like his lips gave life. Wet and sloppy and needy. Chad’s hands slid through his hair, down his back and under his thighs.
“Did you like it?” Now Chad’s voice is almost demanding but fuck it’s sexy. He kisses Jared again. Hard and rough. Their lips press together bruising their mouths for sure.
Jared nods, he can’t lie. There’s been too much lying going around lately. Chad pushes him against the other wall adjacent and now they’re directly under the showerhead. Water covering their bodies, providing friction and heat. A moment later they’re both panting, rubbing against each other.
Chad lifts Jared’s leg, and then the other, wrapping them around his back. He steadies themselves against the wall and makes sure Jared’s okay before he steers his cock inside quick and fast.
Jared falls forward, head dropping to Chad’s shoulder as he pushes into him with all the force he’s got.
“Ohmygod, oh fuck,” Jared’s panting into his ear, latching his arms around his neck and rolling his hips against Chad’s cock.
They press their forehead’s together breathless and hot, huffing warm air against each other’s lips. Chad goes faster, causing Jared’s back to side up and down against the wall of the shower. His hair flops against his face, drips drops of water down his chest and stomach.
Jared grabs his dick, jerks it faster, faster, faster until he can’t take it and he’s coming hard and fast. He yells, muscles tightening, Chad still pushing into him like he can’t stop. He sits back presses his head to the tile.
Almost suddenly Chad pulls out and Jared balances himself back on his feet kissing at Chad’s neck until he’s coming between both of their stomachs, moaning into Jared’s ear.
They wash off right there, Chad stealing as many kisses as he can, while he can, because this might change everything they’ve ever had. And Jared lets him, doesn’t pull away or act weird after. That’s got to count for something.
--- --- ---
Even though he tells himself he’s not going to, he calls Jared the next day around noon. This time it’s Jared that answers.
Chad’s just in the next room and he hears him make plans for tonight, says that he’d ‘love to meet up again’ and that he ‘had so much fun last night’. And Chad wants to scream until his throat rips because this isn’t fucking fair. None of this is, and it feels like he’s getting his heart ripped right out of his chest and it’s Jared and Jensen that are stepping right on it.
Jared laughs and it sounds perfect as always, but Chad can hear the guilt in his voice. And he think that maybe he feels bad now, definitely more confused than before, and this whole thing is a fucking mess.
When Jared hangs up the phone Chad hears him sigh. It’s real and heavy. One that tells Chad that he’s not just whoring around, he’s really struggling with this as much as they are. And if someone doesn’t make a choice soon, someone’s going to get hurt.Emotionally. And honestly, maybe physically.
Jared heads for the door about thirty minutes later. He grabs the keys, doesn’t say where he’s going because they both know, and tells Chad he doesn’t need to wait up.
As soon as the door’s closed Chad punches the wall until his knuckles are bloody and he feels dizzy.
PART THREE
Author: hellsprayer
Word Count: ~4,800
Rating: NC-17
Summary: There are things you want. And things you want more. They both want Jared, and are prepared to fight to prove it.
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, Jared/Chad
Part 2 of 3.
They meet up at one-thirty five, but Jensen’s been there since one-ten. He was eager; nervous. His leg tapped unconsciously and he kept chewing at the inside of his lip. He got a table, made sure that he didn’t order anything until Jared got there even though the waitress kept insisting he got at least a coffee to start off.
“I’m fine,” he kept answering almost stubbornly. Each time she rolled her eyes, shook her head, and went back the way she had came.
Jensen had spotted Jared before he’d even got out of his car. He remembered it’s dark blue color and Jared’s tall silhouette stuck out like a sore thumb. Jared had parked, spotted Jensen through the window, and smiled that perfect smile at him before reaching out for the door and entering the diner.
He took a seat across from Jensen, bearing teeth and already reaching for the menu. “I’m starving,” he says and cracks a smile. And Jensen can hear his heart racing in his ear.
Slow the fuck down, he wants to tell himself. Because there’s no telling if this is a two-way street. But who was Jensen kidding. If it looks like a date, smells like a date, and feels like a date -- it’s a date.
But Jensen’s used to getting hurt and the last thing he wants to do is get too ahead of himself and lose his footing. Jared’s a nice guy, and sometimes that can be off-putting to everyone else. And he might be giving out the wrong signals without even realizing it. Friendliness does not equal flirting. Not usually.
“So have you been here before?” Jensen asks, licking his thumb before fingering through the pages in the menu. He skimmed over it ghostly, but he already knew what he wanted. Had an excess of about fifteen minutes to think it over.
Jared tells him that he’s been here a couple of times with a close friend.
They go through the routine of small talk just moments before the waitress comes back. The same old, “How’re you? How’d you sleep? Nice weather, huh?” Blah, blah, fucking blah.
Jared smiles at her, charm hitting her right up the skirt and she giggles when he places his order. Nothing put a short stack of pancakes and a coffee and for Jensen a grilled chicken sandwich, but when she’s talking to Jared she’s giddy, smiling stupidly, and twirling her hair.
Back off, bitch.
Over food and coffee that get down to the real stuff. The things that take them an extra second to think about how they’re going to answer. The part where they really get to know each other. Past relationships and current ones, ambitions and morals.
Jensen likes the way Jared talks. It’s slow and sexy just like him. He’s got a soothing tone to his voice that’s soft but crisp at the same time. The kind that grabs your attention and makes you listen. And Jensen does. He’s hanging on the cliff at the end of each of Jared’s sentences.
“Relationships have always been shaky for me. Bad luck, I guess. Nothing ever really works right when it’s time to get real,” Jared explains. He takes a sip of his coffee, tries to shake off the fact that he’s really digging deep here. Jeez, first dates are tough.
There’s sincerity in Jared’s eyes when he breaks the tension by saying he’s really glad he came. And that’s the best thing Jensen’s heard all week. He drops his hands from supporting his chin to on the table and they fall less than centimeters from Jared’s.
There wasn’t hesitation when Jared intertwines his fingers loosely with Jensen’s.
“Really glad I came,” he says, and laughs a little. And Jensen could listen to him laugh all day. It’s light and contagious. Jensen can’t help but mirror him each time, letting out a laugh, too. There’s a light in Jared’s eyes when he smiles that Jensen could swear was lighting the whole room.
Jared’s fingers slide against Jensen’s as he asks, “So what was your longest relationship?”
And Jensen really as to think about this because honestly, he doesn’t know. He’s had flings, little on-and-off’s, and he’s had one night stands, too. But none were really relationships in Jensen’s eyes. Sure he’s seen some of the guys after, but when he thought about what a relationship should be and could be, he’s sure he’s never had one. He doesn’t want to say it, though and he says, “Seven months,” instead, and watches Jared’s eyebrows raise. Instantly he regrets what he’s said.
“Wow,” Jared answers, breathy. “Longer than me, man. So hat’s off to you.”
Jensen’s eyebrow arches. He finds that hard to believe, though. Shame on the rest of the world. Anyone who’s had Jared, even for a fucking second, should’ve done all they could to make him stay. Oh well, right? Finders, keepers.
That’s exactly what he planned on doing.
The waitress comes back, flips her hair and asks, “Can I get you anything else?”
“Sweetheart, I’d love a coffee,” came a voice that wasn't Jared’s nor Jensen’s.
Jared sat straight and pulled his hands back . “Chad.”
He’s tall, blond, and confident. Jensen eyes him, watches the way he places his hand on Jared’s shoulder and how almost instantly Jared scoots inward to give him room. Both he and Jared lock eyes and it’s like they’re having a conversation in their head, and just like that Jensen feels like some sort of third wheel.
“So who’s this?” he cuts in. But he’s already got an idea. He can’t be sure, but he’s almost positive this is the asshole he had a few words with on the phone this morning. Funny, Jensen said that he had a few choice words for him if they ever met. Now he can’t even think of one.
Jared points in Chad’s direction then at Jensen. “Chad, Jensen. Jensen, Chad.”
Jensen holds his hand out for him to shake. Chad slaps it instead, followed by a “Hey, man,” half-heartedly.
Chad eyes Jensen. He’s got a pretty face,prettier eyes, and mouth that just screamed to be used. His voice was almost a growl, even in happier tones. And his smile was so straight, it was unfair. He was an actor, Chad knew that much. But other than that, it was blank. But Chad knew this: Jared liked him. And that didn’t sit right with him.
“Correct me if I’m wrong,” Jensen says, adjusting in his seat. His eyes flash over at Jared, then back at Chad. “But we spoke this morning? On the phone?”
Well aren’t you smarter than the average bear, Chad thinks to himself. But he pushes his mouth up into a smile and nods. “Yeah, we did. Nice to meet you in person.”
Jared looks over at Chad but doesn’t say anything to him. Instead, he looks at Jensen.
“Chad’s my best friend,” Jared says, and he’s just trying to break the silence. He never thought it’d be this weird. Jensen nods and tried not to roll his eyes, but he’s sure he does.
Jensen and Chad stare each other down, and it’s like an unspoken war, but suddenly they both get the picture. And the picture is tall, and beautiful, and humble. The picture’s got long hair, bangs, and a perfect smile; and it’s sitting right there.
Clearing his throat, Jensen says, “So how’d you guys meet?”
He can see Jared swallow hard. His eyes flash toward the door and then down at his hands. And Jensen’s never seen him like this: shy, quiet. He knows something’s up, and he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like the way Jared acts around Chad. Like he’s walking on eggshells to say the right thing and act the right way. Jensen’s eyes narrow at Chad. If looks could kill…
Chad just smirks.
Wouldn’t you like to know, Jensen.
And he may not have meant it to be apparent, but Jared flashes Chad a warning glare before staring down at the table. Chad blinks once, twice, three times before answering, “A party when we were kids. Been friends ever since.”
Then there’s relief on Jared’s face and it gives Jensen a heated feeling in his stomach. Suddenly all he wants to do is leave; more for Jared’s sake than his own.
Chad stretches his arm and places it on the booth’s top just behind Jared.
“So an actor, huh?” Chad blurts with more enthusiasm than he should. “Jared’s been telling me that you’re going out for the role opposite of his for that show.”
Jensen nods, says it’s been a long process, but he thinks that everything’s going to work out fine. He makes it crisp that he and Jared worked fine together right from the start, and would make a good team.
Jared comes alive again, and the spark in his eyes are back. “We really did a good job, dude, I told you,” he says to Chad. And Jensen takes notice at how he watches Jared mouth with a look that’s all but best-friend-like.
He clears his throat, fixes his arm behind Jared and says, “Yeah, I was thinking about giving it a try, too. Jared really got me interested. I was thinking about trying Dean.”
Jensen could’ve flipped the goddamned table.
His eyes catch Chad’s and there’s only one thing written in them: Don’t you fucking dare.
--- --- ---
It took an hour and a half, but Jensen finally shakes loose of Chad. They both go their separate ways with Jared telling Chad that he doesn’t have to take the bus back home. He can take the car because he’s riding with Jensen, and the look on Chad’s face is priceless in Jensen’s eyes.
“I’ll be back tonight,” Jared says and they hug. Jensen watches Chad’s hand slide down Jared’s back and halt just at the small of his back. And Jensen wants to pull him back, say they’ve got to go. But he heads to the car instead and watches them, a little too closely, from the rearview mirror.
Jensen thinks that either they always act like this, or he’s overreacting, because Chad treats him like way more than just a friend. He’s got this tone in his voice when talking about he and Jared that’s borderline protective; and looks at him like he’s seconds away from bending him over and fucking him senseless. Jensen wonders if he ever has.
--- --- ---
Chad drove home with white knuckles gripping the top of the steering wheel. He replayed parts in his head, cursing at himself. And it’s crazy; because he doesn’t mean to act like this. Chad can be an asshole, sure. No problem. But the way he acts in defense of Jensen is even something that’s kind of shocking to himself.
But it’s for a good cause if he’s ever seen one.
Chad pulls into the parking lot of their apartment complex. He remembers the look in Jared’s face before he’d made his grand entrance. He looked happy, smiling effortlessly at Jensen. And for a second he told himself to go back the way he came. But something inside him wouldn’t let it end at that.
It’s starting to shock Chad what he’ll do. And he’s not sure if doing this is worth ruining all that he and Jared ever had. Friendship or relationship?
They could have both. A relationship built off friendship.
Honestly, Chad’s tired of being just a friend.
--- --- ---
By eight o’clock, they’re at a bar with the name “Marlo’s” written in red neon lights. It’s smoky inside the bar. It’s pretty full inside and soft rock is playing over the stereo.
“I come here all the time, it’s a great place,” Jensen says to Jared. He has to lean in close to make sure he can hear him over the mix of voices and the music.
Jensen’s hand lay on the belt of Jared, steering him to an open table. They sit on the same side of the booth and talk closer than they need to. Jared can see perfectly into Jensen’s eyes and he’s never not stunned at how green they are. Emerald green. Beautiful.
“What’ll it be, guys?” asked a man with a notepad and a fading hairline.
Jensen orders them two beers and tells Jared that it’s on him before he even reaches for his wallet.
“So Chad,” Jensen says, and they both smile though nothing’s funny. “He’s…interesting.” Jensen chooses his words wisely. Even though he’d like to stick a fork in Chad for good, he knows that whether he likes it or not, he’s sill Jared’s best friend.
“Yeah, I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Jensen lies. Then follows up with, “I had a great day with you, nonetheless.”
The waiter comes back with their drinks but they don’t even notice. They blow through absentminded topics about music, back home, acting and before he knew it, Jensen was leaning in, catching Jared’s mouth with his. His mouth was soft and perfect and welcoming just like Jensen though it would be. The kiss was warm, and it sends a feeling down Jensen’s body and straight to his cock. Jared let’s Jensen’s hand slide down his side, stopping on his inner thigh and pushing his legs apart.
His hand works it's way up, fingers teasing and grips the base of Jared's cock. Jared moans into his mouth, vibrating his lips against Jensen’s.
Jensen kisses his jaw line all the way up to his ear and whispers, “Wanna get out of here?”
And he does. He wants to so fucking bad. Jared nods pressing their lips together again. Jensen stands, holds out his hand for Jared to take and they head for the door.
--- --- --
They barely make it into Jensen’s apartment before they’ve got hands gripping, mouths searching and rutting against each other. The door slams shut and Jensen walks Jared backward until they reach the couch. They feel around in the dark, Jensen’s hands slide up Jared’s shirt tracing every muscle and stopping at his chest. He works almost effortlessly at unbuttoning Jared’s shirt and kissing him twice.
He lays Jared on his back, kisses at his neck and works at his belt. His mouth is hot and slippery against Jared’s skin. He presses slow open-mouthed kisses across his collar bone. And he can feel Jared’s heart beating. It’s fast and he’s panting, pushing upward against him, trying to get some kind of friction.
Jensen’s hands slide into his hair and he says, “Relax,” against his ear so slow it’s almost hypnotizing and he places a kiss right over Jared’s pulse.
Jared sits up, catching Jensen’s mouth with his and he pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it to the ground. Jared kisses down his chest, over his stomach and just above his belt line. He licks at his hipbones, fumbling with his belt and pulling it from around his waist in one swift pull.
Before he could go any further, Jensen pushes him back down, strips him of his shirt and works his pants down his legs. He grips Jared’s cock and it’s already half-hard. It’s long, thick and God, Jensen’s barely keeping together at this point.
Jared’s bucking up into his hand mumbling, “Fuck, yeah, oh my god, Jensen…”
He mouths over the base of his cock, wetting the fabric and sucking. His hands slide over Jared’s thighs with Jared’s hands resting at the top of his head steering him right where he wants him.
Jensen kisses up the length of his cock, pulls down the only layer left and takes all of him into his mouth. Jensen’s mouth is hot and ready, wet and smooth. He jerks the base of Jared’s dick, filling his mouth with the other and meeting his mouth with his hand somewhere in the middle. He looks up at Jared with his head back, hair thrown and huffing.
But he doesn’t even let Jensen get situated before he’s pushing him backwards and pulling his jeans and boxers down his legs. Jensen smiles a little when Jared kisses him and watches him break the kiss to settle on his knees. He’s got Jensen in the sitting position, legs apart and Jared on the floor. He’s sucking, licking, kissing at his cock and Jensen’s at a loss for words and breath.
His hands grip the back of Jared’s hair and guides him in a upbeat series of bobs. Up and down up and down.
Jared’s tongue slides over the head of his cock and Jensen bucks forward into his mouth, throwing his head back sucking in air. He can feel Jared smiling, readjusting his hands around his hips to keep him steady.
“Oh my god, your mouth.” Jensen’s panting nonsense into the air, licking his lips. “Fucking perfect mouth.” Jared sucks hard and takes Jensen as far as he can go, and then a little deeper. He pulls back breathless; mouth hung, wet, and used. He’s looking up at Jensen through his bang and his chest is heaving, jerking his cock slowly; and Jensen knows that he’ll never be able to get that sight out of his head even after all this is over.
“C’mere,” Jensen says, helping Jared to his feet.
He leads him to the bedroom, kissing him roughly between steps.
Jensen pushes him back in the bed, kisses up his torso and up his body until he gets to his mouth again.
“I want to fuck you so bad.” Jensen voice is breathy, intertwined with lust and passion. He thumbs over Jared’s lower lip before kissing him again, deep and wanting,. “So. Fucking. Bad.”
Jared’s legs open and he pulls Jensen toward him. His cock is pushing against his ass and they’re both a little over-eager. Jensen wets his hand, strokes a few times before lining up. He pushes in slowly and watches Jared’s face. He’s got his eyes squeezed shut and he can tell he’s holding his breath, mentally pushing himself through the initial sting.
He’s no virgin, Jared isn’t, but it’s been a while since he’s done this. He can feel Jensen pushing in deeper, pain mixing with pleasure. Jensen’s hovering over him, kissing his neck, his cheek, his lips ghosting over him. He pushes in a little more mumbling, “You’re so fucking tight. Oh, fuck.”
A minute later and Jared’s bracing himself with his hands pressed flat against the headboard with Jensen pushing into him faster, faster, faster.
“Fuck me, fuck me. Yes, Jensen,fuck.” Jared’s voice is breathy and soft but it’s gripping Jensen by the cock and giving him drive. He kisses Jared again, sloppy and wet with clashing teeth. His hands have settled on his hipbones and he’s gripping tight, but not too tight.
Jared’s hair is sweeping across his forehead, chest and stomach glistening in the moonlight, moaning mixed words as he presses his head into the pillow. And this is the sexiest thing Jensen’s ever seen. He lets his hands slide down Jared’s stomach, grips his cock and jerks him in time with his strokes. He watches Jared’s stomach muscles tighten and his mouth drop into an ‘O’.
Jensen leans forward, biting at Jared’s lower lip and pushes into him harder. His stomach slides over Jared’s cock with each stroke and he can feel him pushing up and onto his stomach and then back onto his cock.
He comes first right inside of Jared, mid-stroke. He falls forward onto Jared’s chest, hot breath flowing over his midsection. Orgasm takes hold of all of Jensen, stiffening him and leaving him breathless.
He pulls out, locking his lips with Jared again before gripping his cock and stroking him hard and fast. Jared’s hand grips Jensen’s arm, toes curling, and muscles tightening. He can feel warmness in his stomach and throughout his whole body. Jensen’s lips press against his ear lobe, coaching soft and sexy, “C’mon baby, come for me, that’s it, come on.”
Jared’s body arches upward, coming over his stomach and Jensen’s hand. His head falls into the nape of Jensen’s neck, panting brokenly.
They lay there with Jared on his back and Jensen on his side just staring at him. He cards through his hair, brushing it away from his eyes and kisses him softly on the lips. Jared smiles up at him and he looks tired. He’s got this mix of adorableness and sexiness and it makes Jensen feel like he’s ready to go at it all over again just by that look alone.
Jared falls asleep no more than ten minutes after that with Jensen’s arm slung over him, fingers sliding absently through the back of his hair. Jensen likes this way this feels. The way Jared feels in his arms. And this feels right.
Jensen presses his lips to Jared’s forehead before pulling him closer and finally closing his eyes.
--- --- ---
When Jared wakes up it’s 4:31 in the morning.
Fuck.
Jared eases out of Jensen’s arms and stands looking for his pants but remembering that they’re somewhere in the living room.
“What’re you doin’,” Jensen slurs, wiping sleep out of his eyes.
“I’ve got to go, I’m sorry.”
“Go?”
“I’m sorry.”
Jared kisses him softly.
“Why?”
And there’s a silence that let’s Jensen know exactly what’s coming. Jared swallows hard before saying, “Chad’s probably worried sick.”
“What is he, your father?”
Jared’s eyes narrow. He huffs, “Of course not.”
“Your boyfriend or something?”
“Jensen.” And Jared’s voice has a hint of annoyance in it. But honestly he don’t know. This is one fucked up thing he’s got himself in and he knows it.
Instead of trying to explain he takes Jensen’s chin, kisses him again and whispers, “I’m sorry,” against his lips.
“Call me tomorrow?” Jared says and there’s a look on his face that sort of cripples Jensen. He nods despite the acid in his stomach as he watches Jared feel his way back into the living room for his clothes.
When he hears the front door fall closed he squeezes his eyes shut in frustration.
Fuck.
--- --- ---
Chad’s awake when Jared finally gets home a little after five in the morning. He’s in their bedroom, staring out the window. It’s eerie in their apartment, cold, and silent.
“You okay?” is the first thing Jared says to Chad, with his back still turned toward him.
He doesn’t look back, but he gives a fake thumbs up toward Jared before lying on his bed, still not facing him.
Jared falls into his bed, closes his eyes. And the only thing he can think is: what the fuck am I doing?
--- --- ---
Jensen doesn’t sleep that night. He can’t.
He keeps replaying it over and over in his head through, and he has to keep telling himself that it wasn’t a dream.
He grips the front of his hair, and squeezes his eyes shut hard and hopes that maybe it could block out all this emotion. Emotions and feelings that he never signed up for but here they are. But Jared’s different than anyone he’s ever met, so this isn’t really a surprise.
But he’s confused, Jensen can see that, and it’s killing him.
The fact that it feels like Jared’s trying to balance both him and Chad doesn’t make him angry like it should. Not angry at Jared, that is. Angry at Chad, maybe, for being such a big part of his life. Angry that he can see that all of this is driving to a place where Jared might have to choose.
Angry that he has just as big of a chance at winning as he’s got at losing.
--- --- ---
The shower drowns out the noise, but it doesn’t silence Jensen’s voice in the back of his head. He lets the water run over his head and down his face and watches the drops of water fall onto the tile below him.
The door opens and he can see Chad’s shadow through the distortion of the shower curtain.
“Are you alright?” Chad says, and there’s a heaviness in his voice that he doesn’t even try to hide. Jared pushes his hair back, but it falls right back onto his face despite it. He nods, though he’s not sure Chad’s even looking in his direction.
“’M fine.”
Chad huffs. “Liar.”
Jared’s silent. He rubs the side of his face and presses his other hand against the checkered wall for stability.
Before he knows it, Chad pulls the shower curtain back and now they’re both getting sprayed with water. Neither are looking elsewhere besides right into each other’s eyes, because they both know something wrong. Something that neither of them want to address.
“He fucked you,” Chad says, and maybe it was meant to be a question but he says it with certainty that Jared couldn’t even begin to lie if he wanted to. Jared searches his eyes for something. Something that he’s trying to hide, but is doing a bad job at doing so.
Jared’s throat is tight. “You’re mad.”
Chad shakes his head, pushes out his lower lip a little and smiles but it’s as fake as his next sentence. “I’m not mad.”
Jared looks away, water splashing his side. “Liar.”
They lock eyes and Chad takes a step closer.
“I’m not mad,” Chad says again, but it doesn’t sound anymore convincing and Jared wonders how he ever got an acting job in his life. He’s horrible under pressure, under real emotion.
And before Jared could even reply Chad had him by the hips pushing him against the wall and kissing him like his lips gave life. Wet and sloppy and needy. Chad’s hands slid through his hair, down his back and under his thighs.
“Did you like it?” Now Chad’s voice is almost demanding but fuck it’s sexy. He kisses Jared again. Hard and rough. Their lips press together bruising their mouths for sure.
Jared nods, he can’t lie. There’s been too much lying going around lately. Chad pushes him against the other wall adjacent and now they’re directly under the showerhead. Water covering their bodies, providing friction and heat. A moment later they’re both panting, rubbing against each other.
Chad lifts Jared’s leg, and then the other, wrapping them around his back. He steadies themselves against the wall and makes sure Jared’s okay before he steers his cock inside quick and fast.
Jared falls forward, head dropping to Chad’s shoulder as he pushes into him with all the force he’s got.
“Ohmygod, oh fuck,” Jared’s panting into his ear, latching his arms around his neck and rolling his hips against Chad’s cock.
They press their forehead’s together breathless and hot, huffing warm air against each other’s lips. Chad goes faster, causing Jared’s back to side up and down against the wall of the shower. His hair flops against his face, drips drops of water down his chest and stomach.
Jared grabs his dick, jerks it faster, faster, faster until he can’t take it and he’s coming hard and fast. He yells, muscles tightening, Chad still pushing into him like he can’t stop. He sits back presses his head to the tile.
Almost suddenly Chad pulls out and Jared balances himself back on his feet kissing at Chad’s neck until he’s coming between both of their stomachs, moaning into Jared’s ear.
They wash off right there, Chad stealing as many kisses as he can, while he can, because this might change everything they’ve ever had. And Jared lets him, doesn’t pull away or act weird after. That’s got to count for something.
--- --- ---
Even though he tells himself he’s not going to, he calls Jared the next day around noon. This time it’s Jared that answers.
Chad’s just in the next room and he hears him make plans for tonight, says that he’d ‘love to meet up again’ and that he ‘had so much fun last night’. And Chad wants to scream until his throat rips because this isn’t fucking fair. None of this is, and it feels like he’s getting his heart ripped right out of his chest and it’s Jared and Jensen that are stepping right on it.
Jared laughs and it sounds perfect as always, but Chad can hear the guilt in his voice. And he think that maybe he feels bad now, definitely more confused than before, and this whole thing is a fucking mess.
When Jared hangs up the phone Chad hears him sigh. It’s real and heavy. One that tells Chad that he’s not just whoring around, he’s really struggling with this as much as they are. And if someone doesn’t make a choice soon, someone’s going to get hurt.Emotionally. And honestly, maybe physically.
Jared heads for the door about thirty minutes later. He grabs the keys, doesn’t say where he’s going because they both know, and tells Chad he doesn’t need to wait up.
As soon as the door’s closed Chad punches the wall until his knuckles are bloody and he feels dizzy.
PART THREE