(Untitled)

[hellkitty67]

well all i do is work all the time yeah it suks but at least it keeps my mind off other things and people i care about, some people will never understand,i feel you can care for someone and the best thing to do sometimes is ignore them and hope they get better but i dont know aboutit in this case who knows? i miss you pica and i am sorry but i am

Comments

I just couldn't resist this....

[got_pica]

I thought you were going to delete this....but since it has been up here for a number of days I can't but assume there is some reason you didn't and thus I can't help but respond, because it definately affects me greatly and I'd like to defend myself, as I am portrayed in a rather embarrassing way

Re: I just couldn't resist this....

[hellkitty67]

well if you feel that way,i care about you and what happens to you and i thought i knew you very well......but i dunno....you have changed for the better over the months as have I,but we got carried away with the drugs and i just dont wanna see you hurt yourself....i am not telling you what to do and i am not letting keith decide how i feel or what i do,him and i agree ont he fact we both care about you and what happens to you,i feel like you hurting your body severly right now,you think i am being weak and think i am over depandent...maybe i am actually since were talking about problems yeah i am to depandent on people all togtheir especially guys sometimes....but thats something i have to try and work on......i miss you and want to be around you and hang out with you,but i feel like your whole life revolves around one thing.....and that your not happy unless you have it.....you never use to be like that, i want you to go back to school because your so smart,i dont want you to look back and regret this! I dunno what i am going do

Re: I just couldn't resist this....

[got_pica]

"i miss you and want to be around you and hang out with you,but i feel like your whole life revolves around one thing.....and that your not happy unless you have it....."

Untrue statement.

"i will call you but you call me to after you read this"

When? I've been calling you. Don't say you're "too busy" that's a cop-out I'm sure you could find 5 minutes to just give me a call if you really want to.

[hellkitty67]

i know i should i feel.......i dunno

[got_pica]

If you don't want to DON'T -- it's that fucking simple, it's not a matter of should, it's "do you want to or not?". Seriously, why must you turn shit into a big dramatic issue. Do what you say. period. If you have the slight inclination to not do it, than just don't say you will. This isn't rocket science. It is obvious you have a problem with what I do and the way I live my life, if you chose not to associate with me because of that, well than go ahead and be a close-minded person. I could chose not to associate with you because you eat meat and cheese and support the torture of millions of innocent animals all the while contributing to starvation in third world countries, not to mention poison your own body with saturated fat possibly speeding up the deterioration of your cardiovascular health. Yet I chose to realize that you make your own personal decisions and I am not going to decide to not be your friend just because I don't agree with all of them

[hellkitty67]

you dont get it at all if you did it and didnt do it in a unhealthy manner using it as a way to function and deal with life i would not care i am not a close minded person and you know this,you should not be angry at me for not wanting to watch you put your body through more stress i am afraid its going give out on you.......you are simply being ridicolous with the whole veggie thing that is very diffrent and fyi i have been eating very healthy and exercising more often so yea......i amnot abandoning you at all i love you but if you want to be that way then fine i guess after we grow out of this and mature we can hang out again.....you are still invited to thanksgiving.....

[got_pica]

Well I wish you'd just be brave enough to talk to me in person -- how can we be friends if you never return my calls or make an effort to hang out with me? I just don't feel like you want to be around me any more -- how do you think that makes me feel? Like shit. You know what makes it worse? Is that I feel like you are leaving me hanging in limbo right now -- just call me and tell me whether you want to continue to be friends and be around me or not, stop this "oh I care about you so much even though I never call or return your calls bullshit". Either you care about me and want to be my friend or you don't want to chill anymore. Just make up your mind please and tell me now, so I can get on with my life and either accept that we won't be friends or enjoy more time with you if you are going to treat me like a real friend.

[hellkitty67]

okay your right i will call you this week tomorrow because i feel shitty today, the main reason i haveny called you is i dont wanna deal with all this shit i dont want you to fuss at me and i dont wanna fuss wit you so when i call please lets just drop it maybe i am overwprrying okay? Please dont leave those mena messages for me ya know what i am being a pussy by not picking up the phone but i just dont wanna deal with things right now and thats selfish i know, so i will call you tomorrow if you still want me to ?

[got_pica]

Yeah, that's fine. I wouldn't be mean when/if you answered the phone. Why do you always think that? I get mean when you don't....you ALWAYS answer the phone for Keith even when you know he's mad at you....just a thought.

[got_pica]

OMG please tell me you aren't going to do this "I won't answer the phone thing" again. You are not 5 years old and I am not going to deal with this. The way you feel right now is NOT my fault and is NOT a natural byproduct of you hanging out with me. It IS however a natural byproduct of you not being able to control your intake of things. STOP blaming me for you feeling like shit and stop treating me like shit, this is the only comment I am making this time. Obviously you never wanted to live with me. You constantly are lying to me to appease me and it sucks. I want no more part of it. Pat yourself on the back, you lost Keith and you are about to lose me too, not that you care about the latter, because all you ever talk about is the former....and go to the fucking doctor, seriously, tell your Mom she's a nurse, it isn't rocket science.

[hellkitty67]

yeah fuck you i never blamed you for anything.....and i did care about you but the person you are know is not the same person i knew so whatevr.....keith and i are mature enough to work out are problems because we love each other....it will take time but we are going to do it and we decided to get a place togtheir....i am not talking to anyone anymore who does certain things becuase i cant control myself obviuosly...not blaming you everythigns not about you ya know....i dont lie to you about shit i hardly even talked to you before this even happened....you dont have to deal with this...rember when you told me to get a real job well now i am telling you when you get a real job and grow up then we can be freinds...when your life stops revolving around powder then we can be freinds again i dont care if you hate me because your ruining yourself and you might not care know but you will yeah when everything falls to shit you will

[got_pica]

Okay, fine, I'm sick of being on the backburner anyway, I'm glad I know what's up, I think it's dumb you are going to stop talking to me w/o any warning, but you know to each his own, good for you and Keith, I hope you are more honest with him in the future, you might as well confess everything you did ever, especially in the past, you know what I mean....because it's not my fault you can't control yourself, that really sucks though, sorry! However, I really need the $200 you owe me. I love the foreboding tone btw *cues music and shakes fist* "you might not care know but you will yeah when everything falls to shit you will" it's kinda cute actually.

My only point with this comment is: YOU OWE ME $200 -- I need it please, thanks dear :D!

[got_pica]

Oops I wasn't logged in, but obviously it was me :D -- oh and I would also like Dan's number when you give me my $$ -- awesome, thanks again.

Love, Tara

[got_pica]

My Dad hasn't received the $200 check as promised and yesterday was the two week mark. It is really sad that you think I am a druggie considering I didn't do anything (well I had a 2 glasses of champagne and took a few klonopin for the airplane ride) for a week, you obviously have no idea about my life, presumptions suck. Anyway, I know you don't want me contacting you, but I will continue to do so until I receive my payment in full. Don't worry I'm not trying to be your friend, that ship has sailed, I just want to be civil and get the money you owe me.