Oh, Heather, big big hugs from me. I will tell you what my sister told me on Monday: no matter what happens, the core of who you are, your integrity, will be there and ok. You are very much loved and supported. As long as you post anywhere, I will do my best to support you.
Sorry that I couldn't respond yesterday; between travel and work this morning, I was saving serious FB time for later.
Certainly there are exceptions. It wasn't fair of me to paint everyone by the same brush. I knew that you were travelling so I didn't expect you to see it. I did expect ppl like my MIL or 4 SIL or local friends to say something. Everyone is so afraid of saying the wrong thing that they don't say anything at all, you know? I just wanted someone to tell me what you did (thank you) and I felt so alone when I didn't receive the lift I needed. Esp. since I make a habit out of lifting other ppl.
Thanks once again for commenting here. I wish we could afford to come for a visit b/c we miss you and we'd love to see Chi-town. Esp. Rick Bayless' food truck. :D Stay awesome!
as someone with a lifelong illness that completely changes your life, i think we who are sick handle our illness in front of healthy people so they are the ones who feel more at ease and not us. it's a learned thing, you know? you don't crack in front of the "normals" because it makes them uncomfortable. early in my illness i was blunt to people. my heart was in bad enough shape that i was on the threshold of being put on the transplant lists and when i told people this and how terrified i was, they got this look on their face and you could see them sort of put walls around themselves because it reminded them too much about their own mortality. and when that happened, whatever support or sympathy you were hoping for, it shrinks back and they get angry at you for reminding them that, hey, look how close death is and they're afraid that you might infect them somehow. i stopped talking to anyone about it. and it made me more angry and more scared
( ... )
I find LJ and FB completely different, like chocolate cake and grapefruit juice. In the past I've thought of posting things on Facebook and filtering them to only the people who are at the LJ-level of my friends, but it just feels too weird. More than that, it feels like something people wouldn't welcome on FB, even if they already ARE my LJ friends. Like I said, weird.
Anyway, I don't have much experience with this kind of medical issue, so I'm not sure how much my support means. But it is okay to be scared, or to be whatever you're feeling -- angry, dark, ticked off at people. The people who really matter will support you and help to make things okay, even if "okay" changes from day to day.
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Sorry that I couldn't respond yesterday; between travel and work this morning, I was saving serious FB time for later.
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Certainly there are exceptions. It wasn't fair of me to paint everyone by the same brush. I knew that you were travelling so I didn't expect you to see it. I did expect ppl like my MIL or 4 SIL or local friends to say something. Everyone is so afraid of saying the wrong thing that they don't say anything at all, you know? I just wanted someone to tell me what you did (thank you) and I felt so alone when I didn't receive the lift I needed. Esp. since I make a habit out of lifting other ppl.
Thanks once again for commenting here. I wish we could afford to come for a visit b/c we miss you and we'd love to see Chi-town. Esp. Rick Bayless' food truck. :D Stay awesome!
H
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Anyway, I don't have much experience with this kind of medical issue, so I'm not sure how much my support means. But it is okay to be scared, or to be whatever you're feeling -- angry, dark, ticked off at people. The people who really matter will support you and help to make things okay, even if "okay" changes from day to day.
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