There are only two roads I can walk down..the one less traveled is the one you paved.

[heartnsoul2the1]

Time and time again I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. I know what I like and how I want to live and who I am..I feel strongly about what I believe in but it always seems to be the oppisite of what most everyone else is saying and doing. Therefore, making it hard for me to make really close friends. Don't get me wrong Ive got alot of good

Comments

[sunburntsc]

It is a lot to ask. Someone can't just magically understand you without you expressing how you think/feel/etc as time goes on. At one point I thought I knew you fairly well but then one day I realized I didn't know as much as I had originally thought (pass the surface, of course. Knowing that you don't like ice in your drink doesn't cut it).

I know how you feel with this though. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to anymore.. there are people there to hang out with sometimes and though Jennifer and Stephanie are becoming closer friends, I want more with something. Where I am right now though I know I'll have to wait to get what I want. Maybe I have a problem with that? I don't know.. I'm just tired of the same old crap day after day. I want to be excited about something and as it stands right now, I'm even dreading Christmas.

I hope everything gets figured out for you soon. I feel like I'm fumbling through the dark with no clue of where I am.

[heartnsoul2the1]

I think you are missing my point. I'm not saying that I want someone to magically understand what im thinking. Im not even saying that I want some who knows everything about me.. I want to know more people who see the world from my perspective, not exactly from my perspective because that would be impossible, but similarly. Someone like Jason, before he and Dawn got together. Back then I was understood and he was understood by me. We saw the world much the same and I just miss having that.

I also hope you figure out where you are and that you find out who you really are and dont change for anyone. To me, that is one of the most respectable attributes a person can have.

And what is this same old crap day after day that you are talking about?

[sunburntsc]

I dont think I totally missed your point. When you said: I just need someone to truly understand me without me having to explain., I took that as what I said. I shouldn't have said the last sentence in the first paragraph, though.. rereading it now I realize how mean it sounded. It's not how I meant it and I'm sorry. I think after all of this mess that I've turned my life into, it's beginning to turn me bitter. I feel the void that you feel.

The same old crap: not being excited about anything/anyone, not actually having something to look forward to, not having someone close to me to talk to.. that same old crap. Like I said above about Christmas, just thinking about how I know it'll be when it gets here makes me want to cry. I always seem to get in funks around that time anyway but this year I can feel that it will be worse and I'll actually have a reason for it. I don't know, I just feel like I'm living my life half asleep with no control over it any more. I'm just not happy and it'll probably take time to get back to that.

[blindindarkness]

I think at some point all of us feel this way. Unfortunately, there are a few of us who feel like this all the time and that really starts to wear you down after a bit. No one can really offer you any kind of comfort because it never seems to help. Being misunderstood, or thinking that no one understands you even if they do but they choose to back off because would you believe them if they told you? It does make it hard to figure out who your real friends are but maybe it's more of an issue with opening up to people a little more. Sometimes you have to tell at least one person something that you'd never tell anyone in a million years...and that can sometimes open up a door and let in people that you wouldn't think would even look twice at you if they knew. I'm sure this makes no sense but I am learning right along side of you and i'm having to learn the hard way. Sometimes you just have to babble until something comes out.

[heartnsoul2the1]

Thanks Sabby for caring enough to think about my problem and try to help me figure it out. That means alot just in itself. Luckly I dont usually let it bring me down when it crosses my mind. I think i figured it out though. Me and Jason arent as close as we used to be since he is about to get married and so now there is an empty spot where there never was before. I'm just looking for someone to fill it and like i said before maybe that is too much to ask.

[blindindarkness]

well its hard to have someone fill someone else's empty spot...people are irreplacable like that but at some point you'll find someone to take up enough space of their own that the empty spot that was there kind of squishes in a little bit and becomes less

this road that i travel... may it be the straight and narrow

[songonherlips]

whew, did i read that post just as i was feeling that same way about 99% of the people i know! just know that you're not alone... the road less traveled is also the road where you wander across a genuine person every once in awhile... i sound like a fortune cookie. anyway, don't try to fill that empty spot with a person. in a sense it is too much to ask. people will let you down, whether they mean to or not. i want to be friends with derek webb... he sees things upside down, which apparently is how i see them. hehe. keep your head up, bra. :)

Re: this road that i travel... may it be the straight and narrow

[heartnsoul2the1]

it's good to know that im not alone..as i figured I wasn't. I just didnt know you felt like that though.

haha that part about being friends with derek webb is pretty random. but thats understandable coming from you :P I'd like to be friends with him too. Problem is that I would probably give him a huge ego by telling him that he is the man constantly. haha

[jen_sings]

I love Third Day.

Funny, my journal used to be called "The Road Less Traveled" until I changed it a few days ago. The only one that can fill the void is the one who sets you free. The one who lives inside of you. I tried so many times to feel love by dating guys and having friend and shopping, among many other things. BUT, by trying to fill my heart and life with all those things, I was slowly putting the pieces together to make my heart full-- only they were the wrong pieces. God had to show me that it wasn't a person or thing that would make me whole. HE would make me whole. He was the perfect piece to my puzzle.

Keep being yourself. I promise that in His time, He will reveal some of the best friends you could ever have, ones that think the same way you do :)

[heartnsoul2the1]

Righton for your love of Third Day. Their music helps to get me through alot of things in my life. I appreciate your comment..I know that what you are saying is true... it's always good to be reminded and obviously sometimes I can tend to lose sight of the obvious.