hd inspiration for taradiane
Author: shadowclub
Recipient: taradiane
Title: Amorphous (Part 2 of 2)
Amorphous (Part 2 of 2)
October 31…
And then the vomiting started.
Blaise watched as Draco threw up for the third time in three hours.
“What kind of tripe were they serving tonight, anyway?” Draco rasped out between waves of nausea.
“You’re the only one who’s sick; maybe you’re allergic to something.”
Draco shook his head.
“Maybe you have a stomach virus?”
“For the last week?”
“Have you seen Pomfrey?”
“I’m sick not dying. Besides I have it in good faith that she’s trying to kill off the Slytherins.”
Blaise shook his head.
“Well, it’s either her or this illness. You haven’t been able to hold anything down for the last three days. Pomfrey has a soft touch,” Blaise said.
“How would you know?” Draco asked. Blaise gave him a significant look.
“She’s a nun! There is no way! Next you’ll be telling me you slept with Granger too.”
“I do have standards, you know.”
“Really-oh Merlin!” Draco gasped before bending over the toilet again.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were pregnant?”
Draco choked at that.
“Breathe!” Blaise said, alarmed.
“You would know this because?” Draco asked after regaining his breath.
“I’ve had an experience…” Blaise said, picking up a towel and handing it to him.
“Don’t tell me you shipped Blaise Jr. off to your mother,” Draco said, while rinsing his mouth out. He felt as though someone had taken a tree trunk to his brain
“I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy,” Blaise said, pulling out a vial from his pocket. “This should help with the nausea.”
“Thanks,” Draco said, examining the vial before downing the potion in one swallow. Its taste lingered like sticky caramel, coating the inside of his mouth with a sugary layer.
Disgusting.
…
November 7…
Draco was bored. This happened on occasion. The motions were there, the emotions behind them were not. The sickness was still there, the random mood swings followed with a slight weight gain. It was barely noticeable, but bothered Draco all the same.
Then the letter came. It was hand delivered by Harry of all people. Draco wondered when Potter had become Harry. He realised that the transition had occurred so smoothly that it didn’t matter, they were more equal now.
“McGonagall asked me to give this to you,” Harry said as they walked out of the common room. The icy morning sunlight streamed in through the window causing Draco to squint. He turned and caught sight of Harry, whose eyes were illuminated by the sun. Even behind the large glasses he could see every fleck of color in his irises.
Draco looked away. “I see.”
“You look less like a horse’s arse today.”
“Why thank you, Potter. Now that I have your approval, I can enter for Miss Hogwarts,” Draco said.
“I think you just want an excuse to put on a dress and show off your legs,” Harry said, laughing. The letter was addressed to him in his mother’s fluid writing. He broke the seal; two locks of hair fell out. The vibrant white blonde of the Malfoy line and the shining gold of the Black line lay intertwined in his hand each tied with a piece of black velvet ribbon.
Draco’s eyes scanned the page quickly taking in the words.
Draco,
Your father and I are going on a short trip. Take care.
The Malfoy Crest stood in place of their names. Something was wrong, the whole tone was off and they were still under investigation, which made it impossible for them to leave the country.
“Malfoy, you okay?” Harry asked. Draco noticed a copy of the The Daily Prophet lying on the ground. Picking it up quickly, the headline blared at him: SUSPECTED FAMILIES PLACED UNDER SURVELLENCE IN AZKABAN.
The letter fell from his hand as he stood staring at the headline. In perfect crystalline clarity the letter made sense. His parents had somehow managed to keep the Ministry from taking him in as well.
“Oh my,” Dumbledore said, peering over his shoulder. “This is a rather delicate situation. Don’t do anything rash.”
“Rash? What am I going to do? They are breaking the law and putting people in jail who have been pardoned! I am nothing to them! They would kill me without a second thought!”
“Malfoy?” Harry asked, giving him a weird look. Draco realised that it appeared as though he was talking to himself.
“I have to go.”
Draco rounded the corner before turning around and punching the wall. He gasped in pain.
Drops of blood welled up from the cut.
“I believe punching a wall would qualify as a rash action,” Dumbledore said.
Draco felt the corner of his mouth twitch upward.
“You and Harry seem to be getting along.”
“I think we’re both tired of fighting… we aren’t friends,” Draco said, wrapping his handkerchief around his hand.
…
November 23…
“Do you think she’ll say yes?” Blaise asked over breakfast a few weeks later. This was the first glimmer of uncertainty that Blaise had shown since they were twelve. Draco hid his smile behind his cup.
“How the hell should I know? They’re Gryffindors; they don’t think like normal people.”
“You shouldn’t be so quick to judge those by their house affiliation,” Dumbledore’s voice rang in his head. He ignored it.
“I mean I’ve heard stories about Potter. Much as I loathe admitting it, he does have a certain aura of manliness…” Blaise continued worriedly.
“Blaise! Potter has nothing on you. If I were to place a bet on who would win her heart, I would put it on you,” Draco said, sipping his coffee.
Draco looked up as the Golden Trio plus one (as Draco thought of her) entered the Great Hall. Blaise was in front of them so fast that Draco would later swear that he Apparated. He watched the scene unfold from the table.
What happened next would actually go down in Hogwarts, A History as the “The Frog Affair.”
Blaise stopped in front of Ginny and said something. Draco strained his neck as though it would help him hear what was going on. Her smile fell, but Blaise kept on speaking. Draco walked over to the group afraid of what might happen.
“I am not sure if the deformity is relative or not. Do you think you could look at it for me?” Blaise pleaded. Ginny’s eyes darted back and forth from Harry to Blaise. Ginny nodded her head. Blaise’s face lit up like a candle in a dusty room.
And then Harry punched him. Draco sprinted to Blaise’s side as Granger and Weasley struggled to hold Harry back. McGonagall was rushing toward them from the Head table.
“What were you thinking? We are working on a Herbology project together!” Ginny was shouting at Harry.
“Let go of me! Herbology, my arse! I know that you’ve been sneaking around with him behind my back!”
“We aren’t dating anymore!” Ginny yelled, her face an unattractive shade of purple.
“Harry! Stop it!” Hermione yelled.
“Potter,” Draco said quietly. “Calm down.”
“You slut! I wou-” Desperate to stop the situation, Draco punched him. Harry doubled over.
“You knew!”
“Mr. Malfoy! Just what do you think you’re doing?” one of the professors yelled. Draco looked up and watched as a green toad flew above his head and landed on top of her head. Draco wondered for a brief instant if pigs were going to fly too, but all thought was soon banished from his head as a very angry, green-eyed teenager tackled him to the floor. Draco watched as multiple toads flew around them in swirling green moisture. Draco looked around him; there were screaming students, yelling teachers, a definite increase in chaos.
From somewhere he recalled the line “his eyes as green as a pickled toad…”
“Toads Potter! Toads? Couldn’t you have made it rain money? Draco said, lying passively on the ground.
“Malfoy,” Harry seethed. “Shut up!”
Harry was suddenly pulled off him by Blaise and Weasley. Ginny gave Harry a look before slapping him straight across the face. Draco could see the shock run through Harry’s body as she ran from away from them. Harry stood there, his head still held at an awkward angle from where the force of the slap had pushed it. His eyes were closed.
“Go,” Harry whispered. The frogs were still flying around them, Draco was sure that no one else heard.
“Go!” he yelled at Blaise. Blaise nodded and ran after her.
…
November 15…
Draco was in the library again, Granger had recommended a Muggle book to him last week and he had found himself strangely infatuated with the characters, so he decided to give it another go. The aftermath of the frogs had been a little messy, but no one had been physically hurt so McGonagall knew that punishing them outright was completely pointless, instead she had simply talked to Harry.
He walked down the aisle only to find it occupied by a certain boy hero.
Harry was sitting on the ground staring broodingly at the opposite shelf of books.
“Potter,” Draco said, stepping over him. Why of all aisles, this one?
“She said that she loved me… I guess I wanted it so badly that I believed her and I overlooked flaws in our relationship… we idolized each other and in the end we couldn’t live up to those expectations… I’m sorry if I hurt you.” Harry started rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously.
“I guess that makes sense; very introspective,” Draco said, trying to inch further away from him. Harry didn’t look too stable at the moment. Harry gave a wan smile.
“Hermione told me… I didn’t want to believe her at first.” That explained Granger’s behavior earlier. She had fought with Harry.
“Much as I loathe admitting it, she is right much of the time.”
“She is… she also said some other stuff.”
“Like what?”
“Like that I didn’t ever like Ginny, but was projecting emotion…” Draco stomach dropped.
“Who is your true love then? Weasley?” he said, trying to lighten the mood. He sat down next to Harry.
Harry opened his mouth and then shut it tightly.
“It doesn’t make any sense,” Harry said, taking off his glasses and wiping them on his shirt.
“What?” Draco asked. He was suddenly aware of his proximity to Harry; he was close enough that he could smell the fresh scent of Harry’s soap.
Harry’s eyes were a brilliant green against the creamy skin of his face. Then, just like that Harry was kissing him softly on the lips, his hand on Draco’s waist. Draco responded automatically; it was like someone had turned on the switch to his emotions. He pushed Harry back against the bookshelf holding his shoulders there with both hands. Harry wasn’t one to give up so easily and pushed him back so that he was lying face up on the floor. Draco twisted out, never breaking the grip, ending in them tangled in a heap on the floor panting for breath.
Draco lay on the floor as Harry slowly dragged his tongue up his neck before abruptly stopping and getting off him. It was painfully cold now. Harry offered him a hand up.
“I guess she was right,” he said. Just then the Hermione walked up to them. It was a good thing that they had stopped when they did or else it may have been extremely difficult to explain.
“Harry,” she said. “I wanted to apologise-”
“No need,” he said reaching over and hugging her. She stood still for a moment obviously shocked before returning it. Harry left without looking back at them.
Granger watched Harry’s retreating back for a second before turning around to him.
“What was that about?”
Draco touched his swollen lips.
“I think we finally understand each other.”
Granger nodded.
“Are you ready to get back to work?”
Draco nodded.
...
November 30…
“Professor,” Harry’s voice rang across the class. “Professor McGonagall wants to see Malfoy.”
The Professor nodded and gestured for him to pack his things as there was only ten minutes left of class anyway. Draco followed Harry out. As soon as they were out of sight, Harry pulled Draco into an empty classroom and pulled him close. Harry’s clean scent was like a potent drug to his system. He leaned into the hug.
“What about the meeting?”
“There is no meeting,” Harry said, pulling Draco’s shirt out of his trousers.
“Luring me under false pretenses, Potter. I always knew you weren’t a good guy,” Draco said, laying small kisses on Harry’s jaw. Harry gave a soft moan and pushed him back so that Draco was trapped between him and the wall. He clutched at Harry’s shirt, allowing himself to enjoy the feel of Harry’s hands on his skin.
“Mmm, Christmas is coming up. What do you want?” Harry whispered in his ear.
“My parents back, a flying llama, the secret to a happy life,” Draco replied without thinking. He pulled away.
“I see,” Harry said. Draco reached up and loosened Harry’s tie.
“What do you want?” Draco asked.
“A family,” he whispered.
“Quite a pair we are,” Draco said.
“Yes.”
With that Harry finally kissed his lips.
…
December 1…
Draco spent the next day in bed too exhausted to move. Unwilling to do homework, he pulled out the book Dumbledore had shown him. The conditions ranged from horrible to random, until finally Draco turned to the section on male pregnancy. Oddly enough, the symptoms were a close match to his.
No, this couldn’t be.
He ran out to the potions storeroom ignoring the fact he technically wasn’t supposed to know the password. One of the many legacies Snape had left behind. He grabbed a bottle of indicator potion.
The book didn’t lie.
Draco rarely associated anything good with Harry. It was all pain and disdain and deception. It wasn’t beauty that was welling up inside of him; it was the personification of his mistakes. Every wrong turn, every laborious hour spent in the Room of Requirement, it was his hatred at being forced into the wrong side of the war. It was his anger at choosing to remain there.
Not that he would admit it at the time, but he knew. He knew somewhere within him that the only reason he hated Harry more than the Dark Lord was that Harry had tried to give him help despite all the bad he had done to him.
Not that it mattered anymore. One kiss from Harry and he was chocolate over a fire. He was addicting, sinful and could thaw ice with a look.
Draco stared into the mirror until the sun went down. His pale skin practically lit the dark room.
He wondered if he had somehow brought this on himself by trying to change. The floor outside creaked before the door opened. Blaise stumbled in, dripping rain water all over the carpet. Draco didn’t move.
“What’s wrong?” Blaise said, turning to him. There was no hiding it. He would start to show soon enough.
Draco gestured to the book. Blaise’s eyes flew over the page.
“Shit… well, there is the possibility that it’s not true. I mean tons of other diseases must have the same symptoms.”
Draco gestured to the numerous vials that all were filled with a blue liquid.
“I stopped counting after thirty.”
“I mean… how do you even get it out of you?”
“Apparently they have to do some sort of operation to remove the magical uterus and then break that using pure elemental magic.”
“Fuck. Whose is it?”
Draco looked up at the ceiling. Dumbledore’s words rang in his head. You may owe Harry more than you think…
“It can only be Potter’s.”
…
December 2…
“Watch out, I think the pink elephants are eating your hair,” Granger said to him.
Draco stared off into space at some point beyond her head. What was he going to do with a child?
“Yes. Sure. Wait, what did you say?”
“What’s wrong? You’re distracted today. Did you get any sleep last night?” she asked, reaching over to feel his forehead. Draco leaned back.
“Why do you care?”
“Because I’m your friend and that’s what they do, they care,” she shot back.
“We aren’t friends.”
“What are we then?”
“We are acquaintances with benefits.”
“…I always thought it was friends with benefits,” Granger said, pushing a stray curl behind her ear.
“Granger! I am in no way interested in you in that way. I mean that we are acquaintances with the benefits of friendship, but aren’t friends.” Draco said hurriedly. He couldn’t do this right now. Granger was a Mudblood, she was everything that he had stood against, yet she was one of the few people he actually could carry on a conversation with.
“Just tell me what’s wrong, I want to help.”
“Fine, you want to know what’s wrong with me? I can’t handle it anymore! I’m in love with my childhood enemy. Oh, and yes, did I mention I’m somehow pregnant with his child, though I’m not a woman!. Shall I also talk about how my parents are in jail or how my best friend is having an affair with the Golden Boy’s ex-girlfriend?” he burst out, sliding out of the chair onto the floor.
She was silent.
“Life debt, right?” she asked. He nodded.
“How did you-?”
“The diagnostic spells… I thought they were malfunctioning, but I did some research.”
“I don’t want it!” Draco burst out. “I want Harry, yes, but I’m not ready. I can’t!”
She looked at him pityingly.
“I don’t think you have a choice at this point. You have to keep it or risk being enslaved.”
“Are you going to tell him?”
“I don’t know.”
“Its part his too.”
“Don’t remind me.”
“Is that so bad?”
“No, it’s just that I don’t know what to do! I’ve no source of income, I can’t guarantee that my parents will be able to release their funds to me, and I don’t think my parents would be too happy about my getting pregnant.”
“It’ll be a happy surprise,” she said, clapping her hands. Draco stared at her for a moment.
“No, I don’t think it will be,” he said. An idea struck him.
“I don’t suppose you’ll help me brew--”
“You can’t abort it… first off, it’s a complicated potion, and secondly, I think that you would owe Harry twice as much. This is nature’s way of trying to equalize the bond between you two.”
He couldn’t argue with that logic. On the other hand, it would be so easy. He wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore. He wouldn’t have to wonder how that ball of cells became a tiny human. Draco leaned back against the wall. This was it.
…
It was, perhaps, unwise to give Blaise the bottle of Firewhiskey before they left for the break. Blaise and Ginny spent the night getting completely smashed trying to get Draco to perform increasingly ludicrous acts.
“…I’m just saying he’s good-looking enough that I would do him,” Blaise said. Ginny nodded in agreement.
“All that power makes him sexy and dangerous, but he’s just so emotionally reserved and has no respect for the talents of other people!” Ginny said, waving her hands in the air. Draco wanted to be annoyed at her, but she was growing on him. She had spirit. He could only blame the use of her first name on Blaise.
“Potter? I think he’s a little common for my tastes,” Draco said, hiding his smile.
“You know what you should do? You should steal his underwear! That’ll teach him,” Ginny burst out giggling. Draco rolled his eyes at her antics.
“If you do it, I’ll pay you ten galleons,” Blaise said, taking another swig from his tumbler.
“I’d rather not, thanks,” Draco said, opening up a book.
“It’s a Friday night, live a little,” Blaise said, throwing an arm around Draco’s shoulder.
“Fine, but I expect those ten galleons,” Draco said. Might as well try. Harry had a thing for Draco wearing his clothes, so even if he didn’t get the money he would get something out of the night.
Draco walked down the hall toward Harry’s room when he heard Harry’s voice from a nearby classroom. It sounded as though he was having an argument with someone. Keeping close to the shadows, Draco peered into the room.
“I don’t really know how it came about, but it did,” Harry said.
“How are you sure that he isn’t using you? You practically stormed the Ministry to get his parents released. Remember how his father almost killed Ginny? Remember this is the same Malfoy who let the Death Eaters into Hogwarts,” Weasley said.
“Stop it,” Harry said, his voice ringing through the room and into the hallway. “I don’t know if he’s using me or not, I guess I have to trust my instincts.”
“Do you love him,” Weasley said.
“I don’t know,” Harry said.
“He’s using you, you know. Think about it. With your protection he could take over the Ministry and no one would notice!” Weasley said.
“If he…” Harry’s voice dropped so that Draco could no longer hear it.
It was like watching a sword go through his heart in slow motion, it hurt. Draco ran back to his room unable to listen any longer.
…
December 20…
It was breakfast the morning before everyone left when the letter came. He was afraid of opening it.
Draco,
We will be returning home in time for Christmas. Please do come home.
Draco glanced up. Harry smiled at him.
“What did it say?” Blaise asked.
“My parents were released.”
“Wha-that’s great!”
“I know,” Draco said. Harry had done it for him. It was scary and disturbingly attractive how much power he held. The sheer impossibility of the situation struck him. Him, a Death Eater, a purveyor of the Unforgivables. A freak. Dating Harry Potter. Draco should have seen it coming; somehow he always knew that it would come to this.
Harry walked away from the tables. After waiting for a few minutes Draco followed.
It was for his own good. This baby didn’t need to be born. Harry would find happiness elsewhere.
“Thank you, for getting my parents released,” Draco started when he saw Harry lounging at the end of the hall.
“It was the right thing to do,” Harry said, smiling. Draco cursed him for being so lovely.
“I-I can’t do this anymore.” The words burned his mouth as they left; his hand fell and rested on his slightly bulging belly.
“I don’t understand.”
“We can’t be together.”
“Why?”
“You know why,” Draco said. Harry looked bewildered.
“What are you talking about?”
“Go back to your perfect life, Potter.”
“Stop being stupid, tell me what this is about,” Harry said, grabbing his hand.
“I heard you last night!” Draco exploded, shoving Harry away from him. Harry recoiled in shock.
“Good-bye, Potter,” Draco said, forcing Harry’s last name off his tongue.
“No, wait,” Harry said, running after him.
“You must make this work, it is the only way that you will ever be able to move on from your past,” Dumbledore said from the corner of his vision. It was now or never.
Dumbledore gestured to the tapestry. Dumbledore was right; anyone could hear them out in the hallway. He grabbed Harry’s arm and pulled the tapestry back to reveal a door, he pushed it open and went inside taking Harry with him.
“Potter-I have to tell you something.”
“I have to tell you something too.”
“Yes,” Draco paused. “What do you know about life debts?’
“Enough,” Harry looked at him, warily.
“Right, well-”
“What did you hear?” Harry asked, interrupting him.
“Don’t even try that, it was clear from the conversation that I’m a burden to you,” Draco whispered harshly, trying to lower his voice.
“You obviously didn’t hear the whole conversation,” Harry yelled. Stepping closer, he tried to kiss Draco. Draco twisted out of his grip.
“Really, did you defend me, your new charity project, well?”
“I told Ron to mind his own business and he would have to learn to accept you,” Harry said.
“He was right though… He was right about my family and me.” Draco looked around for a chair; he was feeling rather faint again. He realised he hadn’t eaten since yesterday afternoon. The room began to spin alarmingly.
“Are you using me?” Harry asked.
“No, yes, I don’t know,” Draco said, leaning against the wall.
“Draco, are you okay?” Harry said, stepping toward him. Draco sat down on the floor taking deep breaths.
“I’m fine.”
“Can you hear me?” It was like he was falling down a very long dark tunnel.
“I’m taking you to see Madam Pomfrey,” Harry said, tightening his grip on Draco’s waist. Draco sagged against him enjoying the heat radiated from Harry’s body.
“No!” Draco had a feeling that that was an even worse idea than lying on the ground and giving in to the tunnel.
“Fuck, Draco! This has gone far enough,” Harry said, pulling out his wand. Draco panicked. He attempted to twist away from his grip only to find himself on the floor.
“What’s wrong with you? You spent the last two years fighting for survival, why throw it away now?”
“No, no! Just get Granger! She’s training in Advanced Healing.” Draco blurted out, desperate to keep his secret another day. His vision was narrowed until there was only black. Draco fell.
…
December 20…night
When he woke he found himself lying in the pristine white sheets of the Infirmary.
Harry was sitting in the chair next to his bed. His face was ashen and his eyes were closed; it did not appear as though he was sleeping fitfully. Granger walked in.
“You’re awake!” she exclaimed, hugging him. Draco sat awkwardly waiting for it to end. “Thanks Granger.”
“Were you ever planning on telling me?” Harry said, sitting up suddenly.
Draco’s head snapped around, so that he was facing Harry. Harry knew.
“I’ll just leave,” Granger said, leaving the area.
“How did this happen?” Harry asked.
“The life debt, it manifested and then we were together and I don’t really know…” Draco finished, lamely.
“Were you planning to keep it?” Harry asked.
“I-.”
“Fuck, you weren’t planning on telling me about my child, were you?”
“I was trying to tell you, but then I caught you copulating-“
“It was an innocent unwanted kiss! How many times do you want me to repeat that?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“I don’t know,” Harry said, rubbing his face. “I don’t think I can do this right now.”
Harry left. Dumbledore stood in the corner watching him.
“This is your fault! If you hadn’t forced me to tell him,” Draco yelled at him, realising how petty he was acting.
“Sometimes doing the right thing is the hardest thing to do.”
…
December 25…
Draco went back home. His parents were there, they smiled when they saw him. Draco wanted to tell them so much, but he couldn’t. It shouldn’t have hurt so much, leaving. He just wanted things to go back to the way they were before. This ‘thing’ within him, it wasn’t worth it.
The snow fell on his face…
…
January 12…
Draco saw Harry again, it was inevitable he supposed.
“Dr-Malfoy! I have a question about Defence,” Harry said, running to catch up to him. Harry nodded to several onlookers before opening the door to an empty classroom and gesturing for Draco to enter.
Draco went in for no other reason than he didn’t want to create a scene in the hall.
“I’m sorry. I was stupid. I spent the whole break trying to write a letter to you, but I couldn’t find the right words. I even tried to Floo you once, but Blaise said you were unavailable,” Harry babbled. Just being around Harry was nerve-wracking. Draco wanted nothing more than for Harry to wrap his arms around him.
“You know, you’re no walk in the park either. You a boy! And you’re everything I’m not. Weasley was right in saying that we shouldn’t be together.”
“No, Draco…” It was too late; Draco was already out of the door.
January 17…
Draco went to the library to meet with Granger and work on their project. He had been making a point of avoiding Harry and through the careful use of timetables he was able to avoid seeing Harry more than he had to, which was why he was here a whole fifteen minutes earlier that Granger.
Granger slammed the main Defence book on the table when she arrived. Draco jumped back.
“Merlin! Granger, be careful where you slam that book. You could have crushed my fingers,” Draco said.
“Harry!” She seethed out.
“Actually, I’m Draco Malfoy,” he said.
“Both of you! I swear you will be the death of me. Harry’s been so edgy lately that Professor McGonagall kicked him out of class and you! I don’t even know where to start. ”
So this was it. They couldn’t be together,
“What do you want from me?”
“I want you to stop being so stubborn! I’m only going to say this once. Everyone deserves redemption and happiness.”
“Are you sure about that?” he asked her.
“Yes,” she replied, smiling.
The smile seemed to open her face up. Draco could see how pretty she was when she smiled. Harry hadn’t smiled of late… come to think of it, neither had he.
That night he dreamt. In a barren room built of stone and clay stood a hooded figure staring at something in the middle of the room. As Draco moved closer to the center the metallic scent of blood reached his nose. He was about a metre away from the unmoving figure when he spotted Harry lying in a pool of blood. Draco ran up, but figures kept moving to block his way. He could hear himself cry out in pain.
“Just let me through!” Draco gasped out. The figure lowered its hood to reveal the Dark Lord.
He always woke up at this part. For three nights this continued.
“I can’t do it anymore! Why does the dream keep coming back?” He asked Dumbledore on the third night.
“It may have to do with the bond formed between you and Harry. It may be some manifestation of the fear you feel. I cannot tell you what the dreams mean.”
Draco had feeling that it the dream was telling him to see Harry.
…
January 21…
Draco stood in front of the door; his hand rested on his belly as he knocked on the door. Harry answered his eyes very green and sleepy.
“Draco.” It was more of a statement than anything else.
“I can’t…do it anymore,” Draco whispered, falling on his knees, three days of little food and no water had taken a price on his body.
“I thought it would go away, I thought…a lot of things,” he said, his vision going white around the edges. Harry was half dragging half carrying him through the short hallway. Dumbledore waved at him from the corner, his twinkling eyes covered by the shattered spectacles.
“You made a good decision, my boy,” Dumbledore said, from his spot in Draco’s vision.
“Stop!” Draco whispered, wishing that Harry’s touch was repulsive to him, wishing that Harry was all soft curves and pretty dresses. Harry was all planes and stupidity; but most of all he was everything Draco wished he could have been.
To Draco’s shock, he did.
“Tell me the truth, Draco. For once in your life, look past your illusions and tell me that you don’t want this; that you don’t want me in some capacity.”
The lie was stuck in his throat; he coughed trying to dislodge it.
Harry soothingly ran his hands down Draco’s back. Why was he so good at comforting?
They lay in bed later that night with Draco securely tucked under the sheet; he drew circles on Harry’s chest with the tip of his finger.
“Are we going to be okay?” Harry didn’t answer for a moment.
“Yes, I think we are.”
Dumbledore smiled at him from the corner.
“Goodbye, my boy, I believe my time here has ended.” Draco nodded and waved as Dumbledore disappeared from view.
Forever.
“Why are you waving?” Harry asked, sleepily.
“No reason,” Draco replied.
“When?” Harry asked, rubbing Draco’s belly gently.
“Sometime in May,” Draco replied.
“What do you want to name him or her?”
“We have a whole five months to think about that,” Draco responded yawning.
They slept.
…
Epilogue
“He’s lovely,” Granger said. Draco stared at the wrinkly sticky baby she was holding out to him. Lovely was not the word he would have gone with.
“Well, take him,” Pomfrey said, bustling about. Draco reached out and took the small bundle. Harry stood beside him; his parents and Blaise were outside waiting for news. It was perfect.
A wave of affection overcame Draco as he stared at his son’s face.
“He is perfect,” Harry breathed, dropping a kiss on Draco’s forehead.
“James Severus Potter-Malfoy welcome to the world,” Draco said smiling.
Recipient: taradiane
Title: Amorphous (Part 2 of 2)
Amorphous (Part 2 of 2)
October 31…
And then the vomiting started.
Blaise watched as Draco threw up for the third time in three hours.
“What kind of tripe were they serving tonight, anyway?” Draco rasped out between waves of nausea.
“You’re the only one who’s sick; maybe you’re allergic to something.”
Draco shook his head.
“Maybe you have a stomach virus?”
“For the last week?”
“Have you seen Pomfrey?”
“I’m sick not dying. Besides I have it in good faith that she’s trying to kill off the Slytherins.”
Blaise shook his head.
“Well, it’s either her or this illness. You haven’t been able to hold anything down for the last three days. Pomfrey has a soft touch,” Blaise said.
“How would you know?” Draco asked. Blaise gave him a significant look.
“She’s a nun! There is no way! Next you’ll be telling me you slept with Granger too.”
“I do have standards, you know.”
“Really-oh Merlin!” Draco gasped before bending over the toilet again.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were pregnant?”
Draco choked at that.
“Breathe!” Blaise said, alarmed.
“You would know this because?” Draco asked after regaining his breath.
“I’ve had an experience…” Blaise said, picking up a towel and handing it to him.
“Don’t tell me you shipped Blaise Jr. off to your mother,” Draco said, while rinsing his mouth out. He felt as though someone had taken a tree trunk to his brain
“I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy,” Blaise said, pulling out a vial from his pocket. “This should help with the nausea.”
“Thanks,” Draco said, examining the vial before downing the potion in one swallow. Its taste lingered like sticky caramel, coating the inside of his mouth with a sugary layer.
Disgusting.
…
November 7…
Draco was bored. This happened on occasion. The motions were there, the emotions behind them were not. The sickness was still there, the random mood swings followed with a slight weight gain. It was barely noticeable, but bothered Draco all the same.
Then the letter came. It was hand delivered by Harry of all people. Draco wondered when Potter had become Harry. He realised that the transition had occurred so smoothly that it didn’t matter, they were more equal now.
“McGonagall asked me to give this to you,” Harry said as they walked out of the common room. The icy morning sunlight streamed in through the window causing Draco to squint. He turned and caught sight of Harry, whose eyes were illuminated by the sun. Even behind the large glasses he could see every fleck of color in his irises.
Draco looked away. “I see.”
“You look less like a horse’s arse today.”
“Why thank you, Potter. Now that I have your approval, I can enter for Miss Hogwarts,” Draco said.
“I think you just want an excuse to put on a dress and show off your legs,” Harry said, laughing. The letter was addressed to him in his mother’s fluid writing. He broke the seal; two locks of hair fell out. The vibrant white blonde of the Malfoy line and the shining gold of the Black line lay intertwined in his hand each tied with a piece of black velvet ribbon.
Draco’s eyes scanned the page quickly taking in the words.
Draco,
Your father and I are going on a short trip. Take care.
The Malfoy Crest stood in place of their names. Something was wrong, the whole tone was off and they were still under investigation, which made it impossible for them to leave the country.
“Malfoy, you okay?” Harry asked. Draco noticed a copy of the The Daily Prophet lying on the ground. Picking it up quickly, the headline blared at him: SUSPECTED FAMILIES PLACED UNDER SURVELLENCE IN AZKABAN.
The letter fell from his hand as he stood staring at the headline. In perfect crystalline clarity the letter made sense. His parents had somehow managed to keep the Ministry from taking him in as well.
“Oh my,” Dumbledore said, peering over his shoulder. “This is a rather delicate situation. Don’t do anything rash.”
“Rash? What am I going to do? They are breaking the law and putting people in jail who have been pardoned! I am nothing to them! They would kill me without a second thought!”
“Malfoy?” Harry asked, giving him a weird look. Draco realised that it appeared as though he was talking to himself.
“I have to go.”
Draco rounded the corner before turning around and punching the wall. He gasped in pain.
Drops of blood welled up from the cut.
“I believe punching a wall would qualify as a rash action,” Dumbledore said.
Draco felt the corner of his mouth twitch upward.
“You and Harry seem to be getting along.”
“I think we’re both tired of fighting… we aren’t friends,” Draco said, wrapping his handkerchief around his hand.
…
November 23…
“Do you think she’ll say yes?” Blaise asked over breakfast a few weeks later. This was the first glimmer of uncertainty that Blaise had shown since they were twelve. Draco hid his smile behind his cup.
“How the hell should I know? They’re Gryffindors; they don’t think like normal people.”
“You shouldn’t be so quick to judge those by their house affiliation,” Dumbledore’s voice rang in his head. He ignored it.
“I mean I’ve heard stories about Potter. Much as I loathe admitting it, he does have a certain aura of manliness…” Blaise continued worriedly.
“Blaise! Potter has nothing on you. If I were to place a bet on who would win her heart, I would put it on you,” Draco said, sipping his coffee.
Draco looked up as the Golden Trio plus one (as Draco thought of her) entered the Great Hall. Blaise was in front of them so fast that Draco would later swear that he Apparated. He watched the scene unfold from the table.
What happened next would actually go down in Hogwarts, A History as the “The Frog Affair.”
Blaise stopped in front of Ginny and said something. Draco strained his neck as though it would help him hear what was going on. Her smile fell, but Blaise kept on speaking. Draco walked over to the group afraid of what might happen.
“I am not sure if the deformity is relative or not. Do you think you could look at it for me?” Blaise pleaded. Ginny’s eyes darted back and forth from Harry to Blaise. Ginny nodded her head. Blaise’s face lit up like a candle in a dusty room.
And then Harry punched him. Draco sprinted to Blaise’s side as Granger and Weasley struggled to hold Harry back. McGonagall was rushing toward them from the Head table.
“What were you thinking? We are working on a Herbology project together!” Ginny was shouting at Harry.
“Let go of me! Herbology, my arse! I know that you’ve been sneaking around with him behind my back!”
“We aren’t dating anymore!” Ginny yelled, her face an unattractive shade of purple.
“Harry! Stop it!” Hermione yelled.
“Potter,” Draco said quietly. “Calm down.”
“You slut! I wou-” Desperate to stop the situation, Draco punched him. Harry doubled over.
“You knew!”
“Mr. Malfoy! Just what do you think you’re doing?” one of the professors yelled. Draco looked up and watched as a green toad flew above his head and landed on top of her head. Draco wondered for a brief instant if pigs were going to fly too, but all thought was soon banished from his head as a very angry, green-eyed teenager tackled him to the floor. Draco watched as multiple toads flew around them in swirling green moisture. Draco looked around him; there were screaming students, yelling teachers, a definite increase in chaos.
From somewhere he recalled the line “his eyes as green as a pickled toad…”
“Toads Potter! Toads? Couldn’t you have made it rain money? Draco said, lying passively on the ground.
“Malfoy,” Harry seethed. “Shut up!”
Harry was suddenly pulled off him by Blaise and Weasley. Ginny gave Harry a look before slapping him straight across the face. Draco could see the shock run through Harry’s body as she ran from away from them. Harry stood there, his head still held at an awkward angle from where the force of the slap had pushed it. His eyes were closed.
“Go,” Harry whispered. The frogs were still flying around them, Draco was sure that no one else heard.
“Go!” he yelled at Blaise. Blaise nodded and ran after her.
…
November 15…
Draco was in the library again, Granger had recommended a Muggle book to him last week and he had found himself strangely infatuated with the characters, so he decided to give it another go. The aftermath of the frogs had been a little messy, but no one had been physically hurt so McGonagall knew that punishing them outright was completely pointless, instead she had simply talked to Harry.
He walked down the aisle only to find it occupied by a certain boy hero.
Harry was sitting on the ground staring broodingly at the opposite shelf of books.
“Potter,” Draco said, stepping over him. Why of all aisles, this one?
“She said that she loved me… I guess I wanted it so badly that I believed her and I overlooked flaws in our relationship… we idolized each other and in the end we couldn’t live up to those expectations… I’m sorry if I hurt you.” Harry started rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously.
“I guess that makes sense; very introspective,” Draco said, trying to inch further away from him. Harry didn’t look too stable at the moment. Harry gave a wan smile.
“Hermione told me… I didn’t want to believe her at first.” That explained Granger’s behavior earlier. She had fought with Harry.
“Much as I loathe admitting it, she is right much of the time.”
“She is… she also said some other stuff.”
“Like what?”
“Like that I didn’t ever like Ginny, but was projecting emotion…” Draco stomach dropped.
“Who is your true love then? Weasley?” he said, trying to lighten the mood. He sat down next to Harry.
Harry opened his mouth and then shut it tightly.
“It doesn’t make any sense,” Harry said, taking off his glasses and wiping them on his shirt.
“What?” Draco asked. He was suddenly aware of his proximity to Harry; he was close enough that he could smell the fresh scent of Harry’s soap.
Harry’s eyes were a brilliant green against the creamy skin of his face. Then, just like that Harry was kissing him softly on the lips, his hand on Draco’s waist. Draco responded automatically; it was like someone had turned on the switch to his emotions. He pushed Harry back against the bookshelf holding his shoulders there with both hands. Harry wasn’t one to give up so easily and pushed him back so that he was lying face up on the floor. Draco twisted out, never breaking the grip, ending in them tangled in a heap on the floor panting for breath.
Draco lay on the floor as Harry slowly dragged his tongue up his neck before abruptly stopping and getting off him. It was painfully cold now. Harry offered him a hand up.
“I guess she was right,” he said. Just then the Hermione walked up to them. It was a good thing that they had stopped when they did or else it may have been extremely difficult to explain.
“Harry,” she said. “I wanted to apologise-”
“No need,” he said reaching over and hugging her. She stood still for a moment obviously shocked before returning it. Harry left without looking back at them.
Granger watched Harry’s retreating back for a second before turning around to him.
“What was that about?”
Draco touched his swollen lips.
“I think we finally understand each other.”
Granger nodded.
“Are you ready to get back to work?”
Draco nodded.
...
November 30…
“Professor,” Harry’s voice rang across the class. “Professor McGonagall wants to see Malfoy.”
The Professor nodded and gestured for him to pack his things as there was only ten minutes left of class anyway. Draco followed Harry out. As soon as they were out of sight, Harry pulled Draco into an empty classroom and pulled him close. Harry’s clean scent was like a potent drug to his system. He leaned into the hug.
“What about the meeting?”
“There is no meeting,” Harry said, pulling Draco’s shirt out of his trousers.
“Luring me under false pretenses, Potter. I always knew you weren’t a good guy,” Draco said, laying small kisses on Harry’s jaw. Harry gave a soft moan and pushed him back so that Draco was trapped between him and the wall. He clutched at Harry’s shirt, allowing himself to enjoy the feel of Harry’s hands on his skin.
“Mmm, Christmas is coming up. What do you want?” Harry whispered in his ear.
“My parents back, a flying llama, the secret to a happy life,” Draco replied without thinking. He pulled away.
“I see,” Harry said. Draco reached up and loosened Harry’s tie.
“What do you want?” Draco asked.
“A family,” he whispered.
“Quite a pair we are,” Draco said.
“Yes.”
With that Harry finally kissed his lips.
…
December 1…
Draco spent the next day in bed too exhausted to move. Unwilling to do homework, he pulled out the book Dumbledore had shown him. The conditions ranged from horrible to random, until finally Draco turned to the section on male pregnancy. Oddly enough, the symptoms were a close match to his.
No, this couldn’t be.
He ran out to the potions storeroom ignoring the fact he technically wasn’t supposed to know the password. One of the many legacies Snape had left behind. He grabbed a bottle of indicator potion.
The book didn’t lie.
Draco rarely associated anything good with Harry. It was all pain and disdain and deception. It wasn’t beauty that was welling up inside of him; it was the personification of his mistakes. Every wrong turn, every laborious hour spent in the Room of Requirement, it was his hatred at being forced into the wrong side of the war. It was his anger at choosing to remain there.
Not that he would admit it at the time, but he knew. He knew somewhere within him that the only reason he hated Harry more than the Dark Lord was that Harry had tried to give him help despite all the bad he had done to him.
Not that it mattered anymore. One kiss from Harry and he was chocolate over a fire. He was addicting, sinful and could thaw ice with a look.
Draco stared into the mirror until the sun went down. His pale skin practically lit the dark room.
He wondered if he had somehow brought this on himself by trying to change. The floor outside creaked before the door opened. Blaise stumbled in, dripping rain water all over the carpet. Draco didn’t move.
“What’s wrong?” Blaise said, turning to him. There was no hiding it. He would start to show soon enough.
Draco gestured to the book. Blaise’s eyes flew over the page.
“Shit… well, there is the possibility that it’s not true. I mean tons of other diseases must have the same symptoms.”
Draco gestured to the numerous vials that all were filled with a blue liquid.
“I stopped counting after thirty.”
“I mean… how do you even get it out of you?”
“Apparently they have to do some sort of operation to remove the magical uterus and then break that using pure elemental magic.”
“Fuck. Whose is it?”
Draco looked up at the ceiling. Dumbledore’s words rang in his head. You may owe Harry more than you think…
“It can only be Potter’s.”
…
December 2…
“Watch out, I think the pink elephants are eating your hair,” Granger said to him.
Draco stared off into space at some point beyond her head. What was he going to do with a child?
“Yes. Sure. Wait, what did you say?”
“What’s wrong? You’re distracted today. Did you get any sleep last night?” she asked, reaching over to feel his forehead. Draco leaned back.
“Why do you care?”
“Because I’m your friend and that’s what they do, they care,” she shot back.
“We aren’t friends.”
“What are we then?”
“We are acquaintances with benefits.”
“…I always thought it was friends with benefits,” Granger said, pushing a stray curl behind her ear.
“Granger! I am in no way interested in you in that way. I mean that we are acquaintances with the benefits of friendship, but aren’t friends.” Draco said hurriedly. He couldn’t do this right now. Granger was a Mudblood, she was everything that he had stood against, yet she was one of the few people he actually could carry on a conversation with.
“Just tell me what’s wrong, I want to help.”
“Fine, you want to know what’s wrong with me? I can’t handle it anymore! I’m in love with my childhood enemy. Oh, and yes, did I mention I’m somehow pregnant with his child, though I’m not a woman!. Shall I also talk about how my parents are in jail or how my best friend is having an affair with the Golden Boy’s ex-girlfriend?” he burst out, sliding out of the chair onto the floor.
She was silent.
“Life debt, right?” she asked. He nodded.
“How did you-?”
“The diagnostic spells… I thought they were malfunctioning, but I did some research.”
“I don’t want it!” Draco burst out. “I want Harry, yes, but I’m not ready. I can’t!”
She looked at him pityingly.
“I don’t think you have a choice at this point. You have to keep it or risk being enslaved.”
“Are you going to tell him?”
“I don’t know.”
“Its part his too.”
“Don’t remind me.”
“Is that so bad?”
“No, it’s just that I don’t know what to do! I’ve no source of income, I can’t guarantee that my parents will be able to release their funds to me, and I don’t think my parents would be too happy about my getting pregnant.”
“It’ll be a happy surprise,” she said, clapping her hands. Draco stared at her for a moment.
“No, I don’t think it will be,” he said. An idea struck him.
“I don’t suppose you’ll help me brew--”
“You can’t abort it… first off, it’s a complicated potion, and secondly, I think that you would owe Harry twice as much. This is nature’s way of trying to equalize the bond between you two.”
He couldn’t argue with that logic. On the other hand, it would be so easy. He wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore. He wouldn’t have to wonder how that ball of cells became a tiny human. Draco leaned back against the wall. This was it.
…
It was, perhaps, unwise to give Blaise the bottle of Firewhiskey before they left for the break. Blaise and Ginny spent the night getting completely smashed trying to get Draco to perform increasingly ludicrous acts.
“…I’m just saying he’s good-looking enough that I would do him,” Blaise said. Ginny nodded in agreement.
“All that power makes him sexy and dangerous, but he’s just so emotionally reserved and has no respect for the talents of other people!” Ginny said, waving her hands in the air. Draco wanted to be annoyed at her, but she was growing on him. She had spirit. He could only blame the use of her first name on Blaise.
“Potter? I think he’s a little common for my tastes,” Draco said, hiding his smile.
“You know what you should do? You should steal his underwear! That’ll teach him,” Ginny burst out giggling. Draco rolled his eyes at her antics.
“If you do it, I’ll pay you ten galleons,” Blaise said, taking another swig from his tumbler.
“I’d rather not, thanks,” Draco said, opening up a book.
“It’s a Friday night, live a little,” Blaise said, throwing an arm around Draco’s shoulder.
“Fine, but I expect those ten galleons,” Draco said. Might as well try. Harry had a thing for Draco wearing his clothes, so even if he didn’t get the money he would get something out of the night.
Draco walked down the hall toward Harry’s room when he heard Harry’s voice from a nearby classroom. It sounded as though he was having an argument with someone. Keeping close to the shadows, Draco peered into the room.
“I don’t really know how it came about, but it did,” Harry said.
“How are you sure that he isn’t using you? You practically stormed the Ministry to get his parents released. Remember how his father almost killed Ginny? Remember this is the same Malfoy who let the Death Eaters into Hogwarts,” Weasley said.
“Stop it,” Harry said, his voice ringing through the room and into the hallway. “I don’t know if he’s using me or not, I guess I have to trust my instincts.”
“Do you love him,” Weasley said.
“I don’t know,” Harry said.
“He’s using you, you know. Think about it. With your protection he could take over the Ministry and no one would notice!” Weasley said.
“If he…” Harry’s voice dropped so that Draco could no longer hear it.
It was like watching a sword go through his heart in slow motion, it hurt. Draco ran back to his room unable to listen any longer.
…
December 20…
It was breakfast the morning before everyone left when the letter came. He was afraid of opening it.
Draco,
We will be returning home in time for Christmas. Please do come home.
Draco glanced up. Harry smiled at him.
“What did it say?” Blaise asked.
“My parents were released.”
“Wha-that’s great!”
“I know,” Draco said. Harry had done it for him. It was scary and disturbingly attractive how much power he held. The sheer impossibility of the situation struck him. Him, a Death Eater, a purveyor of the Unforgivables. A freak. Dating Harry Potter. Draco should have seen it coming; somehow he always knew that it would come to this.
Harry walked away from the tables. After waiting for a few minutes Draco followed.
It was for his own good. This baby didn’t need to be born. Harry would find happiness elsewhere.
“Thank you, for getting my parents released,” Draco started when he saw Harry lounging at the end of the hall.
“It was the right thing to do,” Harry said, smiling. Draco cursed him for being so lovely.
“I-I can’t do this anymore.” The words burned his mouth as they left; his hand fell and rested on his slightly bulging belly.
“I don’t understand.”
“We can’t be together.”
“Why?”
“You know why,” Draco said. Harry looked bewildered.
“What are you talking about?”
“Go back to your perfect life, Potter.”
“Stop being stupid, tell me what this is about,” Harry said, grabbing his hand.
“I heard you last night!” Draco exploded, shoving Harry away from him. Harry recoiled in shock.
“Good-bye, Potter,” Draco said, forcing Harry’s last name off his tongue.
“No, wait,” Harry said, running after him.
“You must make this work, it is the only way that you will ever be able to move on from your past,” Dumbledore said from the corner of his vision. It was now or never.
Dumbledore gestured to the tapestry. Dumbledore was right; anyone could hear them out in the hallway. He grabbed Harry’s arm and pulled the tapestry back to reveal a door, he pushed it open and went inside taking Harry with him.
“Potter-I have to tell you something.”
“I have to tell you something too.”
“Yes,” Draco paused. “What do you know about life debts?’
“Enough,” Harry looked at him, warily.
“Right, well-”
“What did you hear?” Harry asked, interrupting him.
“Don’t even try that, it was clear from the conversation that I’m a burden to you,” Draco whispered harshly, trying to lower his voice.
“You obviously didn’t hear the whole conversation,” Harry yelled. Stepping closer, he tried to kiss Draco. Draco twisted out of his grip.
“Really, did you defend me, your new charity project, well?”
“I told Ron to mind his own business and he would have to learn to accept you,” Harry said.
“He was right though… He was right about my family and me.” Draco looked around for a chair; he was feeling rather faint again. He realised he hadn’t eaten since yesterday afternoon. The room began to spin alarmingly.
“Are you using me?” Harry asked.
“No, yes, I don’t know,” Draco said, leaning against the wall.
“Draco, are you okay?” Harry said, stepping toward him. Draco sat down on the floor taking deep breaths.
“I’m fine.”
“Can you hear me?” It was like he was falling down a very long dark tunnel.
“I’m taking you to see Madam Pomfrey,” Harry said, tightening his grip on Draco’s waist. Draco sagged against him enjoying the heat radiated from Harry’s body.
“No!” Draco had a feeling that that was an even worse idea than lying on the ground and giving in to the tunnel.
“Fuck, Draco! This has gone far enough,” Harry said, pulling out his wand. Draco panicked. He attempted to twist away from his grip only to find himself on the floor.
“What’s wrong with you? You spent the last two years fighting for survival, why throw it away now?”
“No, no! Just get Granger! She’s training in Advanced Healing.” Draco blurted out, desperate to keep his secret another day. His vision was narrowed until there was only black. Draco fell.
…
December 20…night
When he woke he found himself lying in the pristine white sheets of the Infirmary.
Harry was sitting in the chair next to his bed. His face was ashen and his eyes were closed; it did not appear as though he was sleeping fitfully. Granger walked in.
“You’re awake!” she exclaimed, hugging him. Draco sat awkwardly waiting for it to end. “Thanks Granger.”
“Were you ever planning on telling me?” Harry said, sitting up suddenly.
Draco’s head snapped around, so that he was facing Harry. Harry knew.
“I’ll just leave,” Granger said, leaving the area.
“How did this happen?” Harry asked.
“The life debt, it manifested and then we were together and I don’t really know…” Draco finished, lamely.
“Were you planning to keep it?” Harry asked.
“I-.”
“Fuck, you weren’t planning on telling me about my child, were you?”
“I was trying to tell you, but then I caught you copulating-“
“It was an innocent unwanted kiss! How many times do you want me to repeat that?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“I don’t know,” Harry said, rubbing his face. “I don’t think I can do this right now.”
Harry left. Dumbledore stood in the corner watching him.
“This is your fault! If you hadn’t forced me to tell him,” Draco yelled at him, realising how petty he was acting.
“Sometimes doing the right thing is the hardest thing to do.”
…
December 25…
Draco went back home. His parents were there, they smiled when they saw him. Draco wanted to tell them so much, but he couldn’t. It shouldn’t have hurt so much, leaving. He just wanted things to go back to the way they were before. This ‘thing’ within him, it wasn’t worth it.
The snow fell on his face…
…
January 12…
Draco saw Harry again, it was inevitable he supposed.
“Dr-Malfoy! I have a question about Defence,” Harry said, running to catch up to him. Harry nodded to several onlookers before opening the door to an empty classroom and gesturing for Draco to enter.
Draco went in for no other reason than he didn’t want to create a scene in the hall.
“I’m sorry. I was stupid. I spent the whole break trying to write a letter to you, but I couldn’t find the right words. I even tried to Floo you once, but Blaise said you were unavailable,” Harry babbled. Just being around Harry was nerve-wracking. Draco wanted nothing more than for Harry to wrap his arms around him.
“You know, you’re no walk in the park either. You a boy! And you’re everything I’m not. Weasley was right in saying that we shouldn’t be together.”
“No, Draco…” It was too late; Draco was already out of the door.
January 17…
Draco went to the library to meet with Granger and work on their project. He had been making a point of avoiding Harry and through the careful use of timetables he was able to avoid seeing Harry more than he had to, which was why he was here a whole fifteen minutes earlier that Granger.
Granger slammed the main Defence book on the table when she arrived. Draco jumped back.
“Merlin! Granger, be careful where you slam that book. You could have crushed my fingers,” Draco said.
“Harry!” She seethed out.
“Actually, I’m Draco Malfoy,” he said.
“Both of you! I swear you will be the death of me. Harry’s been so edgy lately that Professor McGonagall kicked him out of class and you! I don’t even know where to start. ”
So this was it. They couldn’t be together,
“What do you want from me?”
“I want you to stop being so stubborn! I’m only going to say this once. Everyone deserves redemption and happiness.”
“Are you sure about that?” he asked her.
“Yes,” she replied, smiling.
The smile seemed to open her face up. Draco could see how pretty she was when she smiled. Harry hadn’t smiled of late… come to think of it, neither had he.
That night he dreamt. In a barren room built of stone and clay stood a hooded figure staring at something in the middle of the room. As Draco moved closer to the center the metallic scent of blood reached his nose. He was about a metre away from the unmoving figure when he spotted Harry lying in a pool of blood. Draco ran up, but figures kept moving to block his way. He could hear himself cry out in pain.
“Just let me through!” Draco gasped out. The figure lowered its hood to reveal the Dark Lord.
He always woke up at this part. For three nights this continued.
“I can’t do it anymore! Why does the dream keep coming back?” He asked Dumbledore on the third night.
“It may have to do with the bond formed between you and Harry. It may be some manifestation of the fear you feel. I cannot tell you what the dreams mean.”
Draco had feeling that it the dream was telling him to see Harry.
…
January 21…
Draco stood in front of the door; his hand rested on his belly as he knocked on the door. Harry answered his eyes very green and sleepy.
“Draco.” It was more of a statement than anything else.
“I can’t…do it anymore,” Draco whispered, falling on his knees, three days of little food and no water had taken a price on his body.
“I thought it would go away, I thought…a lot of things,” he said, his vision going white around the edges. Harry was half dragging half carrying him through the short hallway. Dumbledore waved at him from the corner, his twinkling eyes covered by the shattered spectacles.
“You made a good decision, my boy,” Dumbledore said, from his spot in Draco’s vision.
“Stop!” Draco whispered, wishing that Harry’s touch was repulsive to him, wishing that Harry was all soft curves and pretty dresses. Harry was all planes and stupidity; but most of all he was everything Draco wished he could have been.
To Draco’s shock, he did.
“Tell me the truth, Draco. For once in your life, look past your illusions and tell me that you don’t want this; that you don’t want me in some capacity.”
The lie was stuck in his throat; he coughed trying to dislodge it.
Harry soothingly ran his hands down Draco’s back. Why was he so good at comforting?
They lay in bed later that night with Draco securely tucked under the sheet; he drew circles on Harry’s chest with the tip of his finger.
“Are we going to be okay?” Harry didn’t answer for a moment.
“Yes, I think we are.”
Dumbledore smiled at him from the corner.
“Goodbye, my boy, I believe my time here has ended.” Draco nodded and waved as Dumbledore disappeared from view.
Forever.
“Why are you waving?” Harry asked, sleepily.
“No reason,” Draco replied.
“When?” Harry asked, rubbing Draco’s belly gently.
“Sometime in May,” Draco replied.
“What do you want to name him or her?”
“We have a whole five months to think about that,” Draco responded yawning.
They slept.
…
Epilogue
“He’s lovely,” Granger said. Draco stared at the wrinkly sticky baby she was holding out to him. Lovely was not the word he would have gone with.
“Well, take him,” Pomfrey said, bustling about. Draco reached out and took the small bundle. Harry stood beside him; his parents and Blaise were outside waiting for news. It was perfect.
A wave of affection overcame Draco as he stared at his son’s face.
“He is perfect,” Harry breathed, dropping a kiss on Draco’s forehead.
“James Severus Potter-Malfoy welcome to the world,” Draco said smiling.