hd inspiration for rurounihime
Author: snottygrrl
Recipient: rurounihime
Title: But hold me fast, let me not go
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco, past Harry/Ginny, Draco/OC
Rating: R
Summary: An unexpected encounter with Harry Potter changes Draco Malfoy's entire life. Now things have changed again, and it might be time to let Harry know.
Warnings: angst, mpreg (of course), het, pre-slash, gender-bending of a sort, DH Epilogue compliant.
Total word count: ~4500
Disclaimer: This story/artwork is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros. Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author's notes (if any): written for hd_inspired's mpreg fest for rurounihime who asked for a little angst and realism, DH epilogue compliant, happy endings, jealousy and towheaded children ( her full request). Ru, I hope this hits some of those likes. Title comes from The Ballad of Tam Lin. Bunny for the mpreg details was lovingly offered by my friend who shall be named later. A huge thanks to another friend for her brainstorming when I was stuck, to my super speedy beta and to dragon_charmer and lusiology both for arranging the fest and their undying patience with my chaotic life and writer's block.
But hold me fast, let me not go
Draco Malfoy was standing at King's Cross Station with his wife and son, a dark coat buttoned up to his throat. He was proud of his small family. His son, Scorpius, was nearly a carbon-copy of himself at that age, but with an inner confidence that Draco hadn't possessed, a far superior wardrobe and a much more balanced view of the world. And while Elsbeth, his wife, wouldn't stop traffic, she was intelligent and witty with classic features and a devilish smile.
That smile was present as she spoke. "Ready to send our offspring out into the wild world?"
"Leaving us with a child-free home?" Draco took Elsbeth's hand, raising it to his lips and brushing a kiss across the back of it. "More than."
~*~
If he were to take time to think about it, Draco would certainly be aware that his marriage was not what many would consider normal, but he'd long stopped concerning himself with others' opinions. And besides, among pure-bloods their relationship wasn't atypical either.
True, he had been rather anxious as to his father's impending reaction when, during fifth year, Draco had come to the realisation that breasts held no interest for him. However, Lucius had found the news unsurprising and immaterial. "You are a Malfoy, Draco, and very nearly an adult, thus you're free to date whomever you wish," Lucius had informed him. "Of course it would be prudent for you to remain careful and discrete. I also expect you to respond promptly when it comes time to fulfill your family duties."
Unfortunately, in the years immediately following, there had been very few opportunities to adhere to Lucius' advise. However, once Voldemort was defeated, Draco had taken his father at his word and begun sampling the available men, even daring to frequent gay bars in Muggle London and date a former Gryffindor (though not the one he truly longed for).
Draco's freedom had ceased shortly before he turned twenty-four with the death of Lucius. He still remembered the feeling of inevitability at his mother's words.
"For your sake, I had hoped we would be able to delay this further. Besides, I have always felt that thirty-five was a perfect age to be wedded," she'd remarked. "However, as the only surviving male Malfoy, it falls on you to produce a legitimate heir within a year or two."
Draco had answered in the only way he could. "Of course, Mother." He had been somewhat impressed by the evenness of his tone. "I've always known of and been prepared for my obligations as a Malfoy." Though it hadn't taken long for him to discover that there were many aspects of life that no amount of preparation could ease.
With her usual efficiency, Narcissa had sorted through the scores of pure-blooded females who had been queuing up for her eminently eligible son. In less than a fortnight she had secured a much sought after young woman with a complexion so fair it rivaled Draco's and all the manners and bearing that went with her lengthy and distinguished ancestral line.
Draco had been far less concerned about Elsbeth's pedigree, yet, after only one meeting, had agreed to the union. She'd easily won him with her dry sense of humour and her practical take on relationships, sexuality, young scantily-clad stable hands and the true meaning of wedded bliss.
The ceremony had been held at an elite wizards' resort in Italy -- the guest list small and highly exclusive.
It had led the society columns in three countries.
Topping the columns just over a year later was the announcement that the next Malfoy heir had been born.
~*~
It was apparent that said heir wanted to shake his mother off as she fussed with his hair and clothes. "Quite the day, today," Elsbeth remarked, her eyes sliding across to Draco. "Change is in the air."
Shuddering at the implications of her words, Draco glanced towards the other end of the platform where Hermione Weasley and her family were gathered around the Potters. Draco noted that though the other Potter children had a definite Weasley look to them, that the younger boy, Albus, resembled Harry as much as Scorpius resembled Draco. Albus stood close to his father, obviously nervous about starting Hogwarts. Shifting his gaze, Draco caught sight of Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny staring at him. He nodded curtly and turned away again.
"You'll have to do better than that," Elsbeth scoffed.
Draco gave her a half-hearted glare before turning his attention to his son. Like every young Malfoy before him, Scorpius stood on platform nine and three-quarters looking cool and aloof. Draco was thrown back twenty-six years to a similar scene and realised that he'd had no idea how his parents must have felt at the time. He knew his relationship with Scorpius was different than the one he'd had with Lucius, but still…
He leant down to Scorpius' level, speaking quietly. "Your mother and I will miss you terribly, you know. Be sure and write after the feast tonight once you've settled in." He wanted to pull his son into his arms in an attempt to abate the deep ache that was growing with Scorpius' impending departure, but knew Scorpius would not appreciate such a public display from his father. "Remember that Slytherin has a long and noble history. Don't let any of the other houses give you any guff."
Scorpius didn't actually roll his eyes, however his expression indicted that it was a near thing. "Yes, Father, I know and I will." There was a momentary hesitation and then, "but what if… what if…" Stopping suddenly, Scorpius looked every bit like the nervous eleven-year-old he was.
"What if what?" prompted Draco gently.
"WhatifIdon'tgetsortedintoSlytherin?" Scorpius finished in a rush.
Draco had had a similar fear himself all those years ago and though he doubted Scorpius would be sorted anywhere else, there was always a chance. Brushing a small piece of lint off of Scorpius' shoulder, Draco responded lightly, "Then you'll be sorted into another house and you'll be able to share all of Ravenclaw's dirty little secrets or be my inside source as to what makes a Hufflepuff tick."
Scorpius looked scandalised, though not because of the implication he might be sorted into Hufflepuff, much to Draco's astonishment. "I'd never betray my house's secrets," he said indignantly, "not even to family."
"Of courses you wouldn't," Elsbeth replied. "Shame on your father for suggesting otherwise."
Draco smirked as he straightened up. "Can't blame a Slytherin for trying."
Brightening suddenly Scorpius declared, "There's not a chance Tam'll be in Slytherin. Auntie Cat says, 'He's a Gryffindor through and through.'"
Normally Scorpius' perfect imitation of Elsbeth's sister, Catriona, would have brought a smile, but the mention of Tam, Scorpius' half-brother, caused a sharp twist in Draco's stomach, reminding him of how much life was about to alter. He fervently hoped they'd be able to protect both Scorpius and Tam from any backlash. Frowning, he opened his mouth, not knowing what he should say, but feeling like he should reassure despite his awareness that Scorpius was happily oblivious to the impending storm.
"You'd best get to the train, sweetheart," Elsbeth advised and Scorpius had given them each a last hug and was dashing off towards the scarlet steam engine before Draco had a chance to come up with anything useful to add. Watching Scorpius as he disappeared, Draco's gaze flitted across the Weasley-Potter Clan again.
Hermione met Draco's eyes and made a slight gesture indicating he should come join them. The growing pit of anxiety left Draco wondering what in Merlin's name he'd been thinking when he'd gone to Hermione in the first place. It's not as if you really had a choice his practical side contended.
And he really hadn't. Not when it suddenly became apparent that Tam might not be the Squib they'd all thought he was for so many years.
The real question, he thought, is why I ever let myself be talked into the 'mission' that started this whole thing in the first place. That had been Hermione's doing, and now nearly eight years later as his carefully constructed life was about to unravel, Draco reasoned she could bloody well help him figure out what his options were. So he'd developed a plan wherein he'd tell her as little as he could manage while still imparting enough to enlist her aid.
~*~
Hermione had accepted his invitation for tea, and though she'd scowled when Digby had served them the perfectly brewed Earl Grey, she was polite enough not to bring up the age-old disagreement she and Draco had over house-elf rights.
Nervous, Draco had burned his tongue sipping the too hot liquid, but years of his mother's training had come to the forefront and he'd managed to be the gracious host asking after her family and job and expressing his regret that they'd not kept in better touch after they'd both been promoted and were no longer worked together.
As nice as it was to talk with his old workmate, Draco had not been able to fully enjoy their practiced banter and discussion of life at the Ministry, and had finally led the conversation to a place that gave him room to confess and ask for assistance. Keeping it to the bare minimum, Draco had admitted to having a single night's liaison that had resulted in an illegitimate child just over seven years ago.
Hermione's eyes had been wide. "A child, Draco?" Even in her astonishment, Draco had been able to tell her mind was churning. "Wait, did you say he just turned seven? Sweet Merlin, Elsbeth wasn't pregnant that second time, was she?" Draco had cursed her quick mind. Then again, she'd always been too smart by half.
The irony of it all was that Elsbeth's plan when Draco had discovered, against all odds, that he was pregnant had been excellent. They'd keep it a secret from everyone, including family, by both wear glamours; Draco to hide his growing abdomen, and Elsbeth to make it seem as if she was carrying a baby. And it had been working fine; leaving them confident they would be able to raise the imminent newborn in their own home as Scorpius' sibling.
A month before the baby was due they'd left Scorpius with his Grandmother Narcissa and gone themselves to stay with Elsbeth's sister, Catriona, for a home birth with the aid of a highly-paid, extremely discrete mediwitch. However, when Thomas James Malfoy was born his hair and eye colour were so much darker than either Elsbeth's or Draco's, there was no way they could pretend the two of them were his parents. With the political climate being what it was, Draco had been unable to afford any questions as to whom Tam -- as Catriona had nicknamed him -- really belonged to.
Heartsick, Draco and Elsbeth had been forced to leave Tam with Elsbeth's sister and announce that the baby the wizarding world believed Elsbeth had been pregnant with had died in childbirth.
Fervently hoping Hermione wouldn't twig as to who'd really carried Tam, Draco had shaken his head in answer to her question.
"And the baby that she wasn't carrying didn't die either," Hermione had concluded. "Wouldn't Skeeter like to get a hold of that story."
"You've no idea," Draco had responded dryly.
Hermione had smiled. "And knowing you, I still won't by the end of this exchange. You aren't likely to tell me anymore than you need for whatever purpose you have. So spill, why are you sharing this with me now?"
"Originally I'd had no intention of hiding my son, but when he was born certain things were… well, let's just say complications arose that caused the need for secrecy for a time." Draco had chosen his words carefully. "As he grew, we were stunned to find no traces of magical capability in him, so we decided his existence should remain a secret."
"No magic?" Hermione had whispered in shock.
"Not until his last birthday, where, in true Malfoy fashion, it made itself rather dramatically known." At Hermione's questioning glance, Draco had grudgingly added, "I think I may have a seer in the family." Her stunned expression had been almost comical. "Hermione, I need your help to ascertain if he's going to get a Hogwarts' letter. If he is, we'll have to find a way to integrate him into the wizarding community before that happens."
Hermione had readily agreed to use her position in the Ministry's Education Department to help Draco. "Luna's the Keeper of the List these days. There shouldn't be a problem getting you in to see her as long as you're with me. Sorry, I don’t think there's a way to arrange a private meeting. No one's allowed to see her without an Ministry Education representative present."
The relief had been so great that Draco wouldn't have cared if the Minister himself was going to be there. Besides he had figured there wasn't anything Lovegood would say that he hadn't already told Hermione. They'd agreed to meet the next day.
~*~
Luna Lovegood had frowned in confusion at Draco's question. "Of course Tam will get a letter to Hogwarts when he turns eleven. Why ever would you think otherwise?"
Draco's thoughts had flipped through varying answers, I was afraid he didn't have enough magic, he always seems more at home among Muggles. He shies away from wizards and witches he doesn't know as if their magic disturbs him somehow, I'd hoped he wouldn't so I'd never have to share him. Finally he shrugged and remarked casually, "He seemed to be a Squib. Showed no magic until the incident on his seventh birthday this July."
Luna was nodding sagely. "That's often the way with seers, especially ones as powerful as Tam will grow to be. Didn't you know?"
Draco didn't as a matter of fact, and her proclamation had both thrilled and terrified him. The image of Tam being influential and respected among the wizarding world filled him with pride, however seers' lives were never easy, frequently filled with pain and solitude. Stomping down on that train of thought, Draco had wondered why he so readily believed what some batty witch had to say. "I hardly think being able to tell the colour of his Muggle kite qualifies him as a seer of note," he had replied, squashing down the memory of stunned disbelief and mingled hope he'd experienced when Tam had picked up the nondescript wrapped package, eyes lighting with joy the moment his hand brushed against the ornate paper, exclaiming, "You got me a box kite! However did you know I wanted one in red?"
Smiling, Luna answered in that vague way she had. "Oh, not yet, but he will be. He's the seventh son, after all."
One aristocratic eyebrow had lifted. "I may not have done as well as Hermione, here, in Arithmancy, but even I can count to two." Draco had been aware that his voice was laden with more sarcasm than was warranted, but conversations -- if you could even call them conversations -- with Lovegood always left him feeling like he was continually missing important bits which made him unaccountably cross. Having Hermione there watching intently, despite her uncharacteristic silence, hadn't helped in the slightest. "Besides, isn't it supposed to be the seventh son of the seventh son? Last I checked I was an only child."
Luna had gazed at him a reproachfully. "Tam's the third son in his generation actually, but he's also the seventh son born in the line of Annika Harrington. He'd only need to be the seventh son of the seventh son if he was a Muggle. I can't even imagine the resultant power if that happened within a wizarding family." She had cocked her head to the side, obviously contemplating the idea. "One had better hope he'd been raised well. I suppose -"
Draco's head had started to pound. He'd unceremoniously cut Luna off. "Who in the bloody hell is Annika Harrington?"
"She was an extremely gifted seer. And Harry's great-grandmother, of course. On the Potter side."
Hermione had made a sound as if she'd been slapped and Draco had cursed inwardly.
~*~
Back in Hermione's office, it had been obvious she was furious with him though she had been sitting very quietly behind her desk. Draco's mood hadn't been much better.
"How could you, Draco?" she'd asked. "How could you do that to Harry?"
"Do what?" he'd replied. "Get up the duff by the Great Harry Potter, or not take out a full page ad in the Daily Prophet to celebrate when I had?"
"Don't be difficult. Telling Harry and announcing it to everyone are two different things."
"He was married, Hermione. I don't think either he or his wife would have been thrilled to know I was carrying a little Potter around." Draco had volleyed back.
"They were separated by then." Hermione had countered.
"No, they didn't separate until well after I'd had Tam, when I was pregnant -"
"Harry didn't move out until much later, but their first trial separation was shortly after Lily was born. Their marriage was on and off from that point on until they finally decided they couldn't work things out and made it official. Did you think Harry would've have slept with you if they hadn't been separated at the time?" Draco's laugh had been sharp and bitter. Sighing, Hermione had tried a different tack. "This is getting us nowhere, maybe we should start with how it happened. I don't think I've ever heard of a male conceiving without a lot of preparatory magic involved. Wizard pregnancies are extremely rare."
"You don't say."
"Draco." Hermione's tone had held a warning and Draco had finally relented.
"I doubt Harry remembers much of the encounter, he was so plastered he could barely string two words together," he had explained. "As a matter of fact I doubt that he'd even be able to recall attending the Ministry function where it occurred, but I'll bet you can." Draco's tone was just this side of caustic.
Hermione's brow had knit together in a frown. "The Ministry has many functions, why would I remember that one in particular?"
"Oh surely you'd recollect this one, the slinky green dress you borrowed for me to wear, the documents I acquired at your behest, the Polyjuice."
"Oh god," Hermione had whispered, her face paling. "Harry thought you were Ginny."
"I was Ginny, thanks to you, complete with her breasts, her twat and her sexy backless dress Potter had bought for her but she'd never worn." Draco practically spat, his voice changed to a falsetto imitation of Hermione's voice. "Draco, I've a plan. We both agree it's crucial that we find out what Ginny's boss, Grimsby, is up to, and vital that we know soon. Of course you're aware that, though Ginny has access to the files we need, she's far too loyal to believe Grimsby's doing anything shady and refuses to help. So, if you were to Polyjuice into Ginny, for, say, the upcoming Ministry function that neither Harry nor Ginny are attending, you'd be able to get to what we need undetected. It's perfect!"
"It may not have turned out perfectly, but it did work, Draco, don't pretend otherwise," Hermione had huffed. "We never would have known Roger Grimsby was being blackmailed if you hadn't done it. Or later discovered who else Michael Davenport, had been blackmailing in his bid for pure-blood factions to regain control. Besides, how was I to know Harry would chose that one time to go to a Ministry party when he'd already been given leave not to attend. He wasn't supposed to be there."
"But he was," Draco had responded tiredly, "stumbled in halfway through, drunk enough not to notice that the person with a body shaped like his wife in the dress he'd been longing to see hugging those curves was in fact not his Mrs. Potter. I couldn't afford to risk him becoming suspicious, so I didn't protest when he began to sloppily seduce me. If I'd had any idea that he and I were about to do the near impossible and create another life, I'd probably have come up with another option."
Draco could recall that night like it had happened yesterday, the feel of Harry's hands on a body not quite his own. The wake of fire they left as they moved. Kisses with so much passion and intensity that Draco had no breath left to protest or cajole his way out of what was happening. No choice but to respond with equal fervor.
The whole encounter had been the strangest he'd ever experienced. Horrifying and electrifying in turns. Draco had lusted after Harry for so long that the opportunity to touch him, kiss him, wrap his mouth and legs around him had been unbelievable bliss. Yet at the same time, the sensations Draco's borrowed body had been sending him felt so foreign they bordered on wrong, and it hadn't been his name on Harry's lips when he'd come.
Harry had held at him tightly afterwards, seemingly unwilling to let him go. Stroking his hair, Harry had murmured, "Good, so good. It's never been like that before. You were amazing, passionate, beautiful…" and he'd trailed off in favour of kissing Draco instead.
The mark that night with Harry had left on Draco may have been less tangible than Tam, but it was no less permanent.
"Why haven't you told Harry yet, Draco?" Hermione had asked quietly. "After Ginny and Harry had divorced, after we'd managed to reveal what was going on with Grimsby and Davenport and the others, there were no moral or political issues standing in the way. He loves his children more than anything and he's a good father. How could you keep Tam from him?"
Draco had been unable to meet her eyes. "It took us nearly two years to pin down Davenport, and another six months to make sure none of his flunkies were loose looking for payback. I was unwilling to risk Tam's, yours or my life by telling anyone a baby existed. Once the Davenport business was cleaned up, Tam was almost two-years-old and was walking and talking. I didn't have any idea how to go about telling Harry. Of course waiting didn't make it any simpler, and by the time we'd begun to suspect that Tam was probably a Squib, I'd decided just to keep his existence a secret for good."
"You were going to keep him hidden forever?" Hermione had gasped.
"Oh for pities sake, it's not like we keep him in the dungeon or anything." Draco's headache had been pounding by then. "He lives with Elsbeth's Squib sister, Catriona, and leads the normal life of a Muggle child. We had decided to keep it that way and not introduce him to the wizarding world, nor let the wizarding world know about him."
"But weren't you afraid Scorpius might say something?" Hermione's eyes had narrowed. "Or doesn't he even know he has a brother?"
"Of course he knows," Draco had replied a tad waspishly. "He's known about him since Tam was a few months old. We cast the secrecy spell on both boys so that neither one can talk about the other to people outside the immediate family, or tell anyone that I'm the one who actually gave birth. That spell's been a huge blessing." Draco had paused, thinking. "Though I'll wager Scorpius will spend some time with his mouth open and no words issuing forth when he meets Albus Potter as a direct result of it."
That had brought a small smile, however Hermione had sobered quickly. "You need to tell Harry, Draco, No more excuses."
Draco had nodded miserably. "I know. I'll tell him."
"When?" she had demanded.
"Soon, I promise. I need to talk to Elsbeth first."
Hermione had sighed again. "I can't just leave it at 'soon', Draco. I care about you and understand how the situation came to this, however I care about Harry, as well, and it's long past time he knew." She had held up her hand, stopping any protest. "I'll give you until the first of September. Until the Hogwarts Express leaves the station with Albus and Scorpius on board. If you haven't told him by then, Merlin help me, I will."
~*~
Draco hadn't meant to leave it to the last minute. Platform nine and three-quarters wasn't exactly the best place to start the discussion after all. Yet he hadn't been able to work himself up to it, and now the clock had run out.
The train began to move, and Draco watched as Harry walked alongside it, smiling and waving. Harry's expression held a similar mix of pride and loss that Draco felt watching their sons glide away from them...
The last trace of steam evaporated in the autumn air. The train rounded a corner. Harry's hand was still raised in farewell. Looking over at Ginny, Harry lowered his hand and absentmindedly touched the lightning scar on his forehead as he spoke to her.
Draco's heart clenched when saw Hermione walking over to where they were standing. She gestured towards the entrance and Ginny shook her head, pointing the other way. Ron joined the group and shortly after, Ginny seemed to be taking her leave and the littlest Potter, Lily, was in a tight embrace with her father.
Hermione met Draco's gaze and held it, her expression stern. And while Draco knew she was giving him one last chance, knew he needed to close the distance dividing them, anxiety kept his feet frozen to the platform.
"Right then," Elsbeth declared, taking Draco's arm and gracefully dragging him towards Harry as Ginny and her daughter waved goodbye. "It's time."
Harry looked a little lost without any of his children, and Draco was again struck with the enormity of what he'd done by keeping Tam from him for so many years. It was never meant to be like this.
Elsbeth greeted everyone and, with the same bewildering skill of Narcissa, somehow managed to slightly separate Ron and Hugo from Harry and Hermione allowing Draco his opportunity. Draco wondered idly if Social Stealth was part of the required curriculum for debutantes.
Opening his mouth to speak, Draco closed it again, unsure of how to begin.
"What do you want, Malfoy?" Harry grumbled. "It better not be something that belongs in the office. I'm really not in the mood."
"Harry!" exclaimed Hermione. "There's no need to be rude. I'm sure Draco wouldn't have come over here unless he had an important reason. After all, he's just put Scorpius on that train as well."
Harry had the grace to look abashed and for once Draco was grateful for Hermione's clumsy Gryffindor rescue.
Exchanging one more glance with Hermione, Draco took a steadying breath and faced the future. "Potte- Harry, we need to talk."
~fin
Additional A/N: You may have noticed I used bits of JKR's epilogue. Bits of the paragraph about Draco's family: Draco Malfoy was standing there with his wife and son, a dark coat buttoned up to his throat. His hair was receding somewhat, which emphasised the pointed chin. The new boy resembled Draco as much as Albus resembled Harry. Draco caught sight of Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny staring at him, nodded curtly and turned away again. And pieces of very the end: The train began to move, and Harry walked alongside it, watching his son's thin face, already ablaze with excitement. Harry kept smiling and waving, even though it was like a little bereavement, watching his son glide away from him...
The last trace of steam evaporated in the autumn air. The train rounded a corner. Harry's hand was still raised in farewell.
"He'll be alright," murmured Ginny.
As Harry looked at her, he lowered his hand absentmindedly and touched the lightning scar on his forehead.
"I know he will."
This bunny was a bear to trap, and originally I was going to write the bit after Draco told Harry, but I didn't have the time. So yes, am still considering continuing this if folk want*
*especially if the giftee wants.
Recipient: rurounihime
Title: But hold me fast, let me not go
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco, past Harry/Ginny, Draco/OC
Rating: R
Summary: An unexpected encounter with Harry Potter changes Draco Malfoy's entire life. Now things have changed again, and it might be time to let Harry know.
Warnings: angst, mpreg (of course), het, pre-slash, gender-bending of a sort, DH Epilogue compliant.
Total word count: ~4500
Disclaimer: This story/artwork is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros. Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author's notes (if any): written for hd_inspired's mpreg fest for rurounihime who asked for a little angst and realism, DH epilogue compliant, happy endings, jealousy and towheaded children ( her full request). Ru, I hope this hits some of those likes. Title comes from The Ballad of Tam Lin. Bunny for the mpreg details was lovingly offered by my friend who shall be named later. A huge thanks to another friend for her brainstorming when I was stuck, to my super speedy beta and to dragon_charmer and lusiology both for arranging the fest and their undying patience with my chaotic life and writer's block.
But hold me fast, let me not go
Draco Malfoy was standing at King's Cross Station with his wife and son, a dark coat buttoned up to his throat. He was proud of his small family. His son, Scorpius, was nearly a carbon-copy of himself at that age, but with an inner confidence that Draco hadn't possessed, a far superior wardrobe and a much more balanced view of the world. And while Elsbeth, his wife, wouldn't stop traffic, she was intelligent and witty with classic features and a devilish smile.
That smile was present as she spoke. "Ready to send our offspring out into the wild world?"
"Leaving us with a child-free home?" Draco took Elsbeth's hand, raising it to his lips and brushing a kiss across the back of it. "More than."
~*~
If he were to take time to think about it, Draco would certainly be aware that his marriage was not what many would consider normal, but he'd long stopped concerning himself with others' opinions. And besides, among pure-bloods their relationship wasn't atypical either.
True, he had been rather anxious as to his father's impending reaction when, during fifth year, Draco had come to the realisation that breasts held no interest for him. However, Lucius had found the news unsurprising and immaterial. "You are a Malfoy, Draco, and very nearly an adult, thus you're free to date whomever you wish," Lucius had informed him. "Of course it would be prudent for you to remain careful and discrete. I also expect you to respond promptly when it comes time to fulfill your family duties."
Unfortunately, in the years immediately following, there had been very few opportunities to adhere to Lucius' advise. However, once Voldemort was defeated, Draco had taken his father at his word and begun sampling the available men, even daring to frequent gay bars in Muggle London and date a former Gryffindor (though not the one he truly longed for).
Draco's freedom had ceased shortly before he turned twenty-four with the death of Lucius. He still remembered the feeling of inevitability at his mother's words.
"For your sake, I had hoped we would be able to delay this further. Besides, I have always felt that thirty-five was a perfect age to be wedded," she'd remarked. "However, as the only surviving male Malfoy, it falls on you to produce a legitimate heir within a year or two."
Draco had answered in the only way he could. "Of course, Mother." He had been somewhat impressed by the evenness of his tone. "I've always known of and been prepared for my obligations as a Malfoy." Though it hadn't taken long for him to discover that there were many aspects of life that no amount of preparation could ease.
With her usual efficiency, Narcissa had sorted through the scores of pure-blooded females who had been queuing up for her eminently eligible son. In less than a fortnight she had secured a much sought after young woman with a complexion so fair it rivaled Draco's and all the manners and bearing that went with her lengthy and distinguished ancestral line.
Draco had been far less concerned about Elsbeth's pedigree, yet, after only one meeting, had agreed to the union. She'd easily won him with her dry sense of humour and her practical take on relationships, sexuality, young scantily-clad stable hands and the true meaning of wedded bliss.
The ceremony had been held at an elite wizards' resort in Italy -- the guest list small and highly exclusive.
It had led the society columns in three countries.
Topping the columns just over a year later was the announcement that the next Malfoy heir had been born.
~*~
It was apparent that said heir wanted to shake his mother off as she fussed with his hair and clothes. "Quite the day, today," Elsbeth remarked, her eyes sliding across to Draco. "Change is in the air."
Shuddering at the implications of her words, Draco glanced towards the other end of the platform where Hermione Weasley and her family were gathered around the Potters. Draco noted that though the other Potter children had a definite Weasley look to them, that the younger boy, Albus, resembled Harry as much as Scorpius resembled Draco. Albus stood close to his father, obviously nervous about starting Hogwarts. Shifting his gaze, Draco caught sight of Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny staring at him. He nodded curtly and turned away again.
"You'll have to do better than that," Elsbeth scoffed.
Draco gave her a half-hearted glare before turning his attention to his son. Like every young Malfoy before him, Scorpius stood on platform nine and three-quarters looking cool and aloof. Draco was thrown back twenty-six years to a similar scene and realised that he'd had no idea how his parents must have felt at the time. He knew his relationship with Scorpius was different than the one he'd had with Lucius, but still…
He leant down to Scorpius' level, speaking quietly. "Your mother and I will miss you terribly, you know. Be sure and write after the feast tonight once you've settled in." He wanted to pull his son into his arms in an attempt to abate the deep ache that was growing with Scorpius' impending departure, but knew Scorpius would not appreciate such a public display from his father. "Remember that Slytherin has a long and noble history. Don't let any of the other houses give you any guff."
Scorpius didn't actually roll his eyes, however his expression indicted that it was a near thing. "Yes, Father, I know and I will." There was a momentary hesitation and then, "but what if… what if…" Stopping suddenly, Scorpius looked every bit like the nervous eleven-year-old he was.
"What if what?" prompted Draco gently.
"WhatifIdon'tgetsortedintoSlytherin?" Scorpius finished in a rush.
Draco had had a similar fear himself all those years ago and though he doubted Scorpius would be sorted anywhere else, there was always a chance. Brushing a small piece of lint off of Scorpius' shoulder, Draco responded lightly, "Then you'll be sorted into another house and you'll be able to share all of Ravenclaw's dirty little secrets or be my inside source as to what makes a Hufflepuff tick."
Scorpius looked scandalised, though not because of the implication he might be sorted into Hufflepuff, much to Draco's astonishment. "I'd never betray my house's secrets," he said indignantly, "not even to family."
"Of courses you wouldn't," Elsbeth replied. "Shame on your father for suggesting otherwise."
Draco smirked as he straightened up. "Can't blame a Slytherin for trying."
Brightening suddenly Scorpius declared, "There's not a chance Tam'll be in Slytherin. Auntie Cat says, 'He's a Gryffindor through and through.'"
Normally Scorpius' perfect imitation of Elsbeth's sister, Catriona, would have brought a smile, but the mention of Tam, Scorpius' half-brother, caused a sharp twist in Draco's stomach, reminding him of how much life was about to alter. He fervently hoped they'd be able to protect both Scorpius and Tam from any backlash. Frowning, he opened his mouth, not knowing what he should say, but feeling like he should reassure despite his awareness that Scorpius was happily oblivious to the impending storm.
"You'd best get to the train, sweetheart," Elsbeth advised and Scorpius had given them each a last hug and was dashing off towards the scarlet steam engine before Draco had a chance to come up with anything useful to add. Watching Scorpius as he disappeared, Draco's gaze flitted across the Weasley-Potter Clan again.
Hermione met Draco's eyes and made a slight gesture indicating he should come join them. The growing pit of anxiety left Draco wondering what in Merlin's name he'd been thinking when he'd gone to Hermione in the first place. It's not as if you really had a choice his practical side contended.
And he really hadn't. Not when it suddenly became apparent that Tam might not be the Squib they'd all thought he was for so many years.
The real question, he thought, is why I ever let myself be talked into the 'mission' that started this whole thing in the first place. That had been Hermione's doing, and now nearly eight years later as his carefully constructed life was about to unravel, Draco reasoned she could bloody well help him figure out what his options were. So he'd developed a plan wherein he'd tell her as little as he could manage while still imparting enough to enlist her aid.
~*~
Hermione had accepted his invitation for tea, and though she'd scowled when Digby had served them the perfectly brewed Earl Grey, she was polite enough not to bring up the age-old disagreement she and Draco had over house-elf rights.
Nervous, Draco had burned his tongue sipping the too hot liquid, but years of his mother's training had come to the forefront and he'd managed to be the gracious host asking after her family and job and expressing his regret that they'd not kept in better touch after they'd both been promoted and were no longer worked together.
As nice as it was to talk with his old workmate, Draco had not been able to fully enjoy their practiced banter and discussion of life at the Ministry, and had finally led the conversation to a place that gave him room to confess and ask for assistance. Keeping it to the bare minimum, Draco had admitted to having a single night's liaison that had resulted in an illegitimate child just over seven years ago.
Hermione's eyes had been wide. "A child, Draco?" Even in her astonishment, Draco had been able to tell her mind was churning. "Wait, did you say he just turned seven? Sweet Merlin, Elsbeth wasn't pregnant that second time, was she?" Draco had cursed her quick mind. Then again, she'd always been too smart by half.
The irony of it all was that Elsbeth's plan when Draco had discovered, against all odds, that he was pregnant had been excellent. They'd keep it a secret from everyone, including family, by both wear glamours; Draco to hide his growing abdomen, and Elsbeth to make it seem as if she was carrying a baby. And it had been working fine; leaving them confident they would be able to raise the imminent newborn in their own home as Scorpius' sibling.
A month before the baby was due they'd left Scorpius with his Grandmother Narcissa and gone themselves to stay with Elsbeth's sister, Catriona, for a home birth with the aid of a highly-paid, extremely discrete mediwitch. However, when Thomas James Malfoy was born his hair and eye colour were so much darker than either Elsbeth's or Draco's, there was no way they could pretend the two of them were his parents. With the political climate being what it was, Draco had been unable to afford any questions as to whom Tam -- as Catriona had nicknamed him -- really belonged to.
Heartsick, Draco and Elsbeth had been forced to leave Tam with Elsbeth's sister and announce that the baby the wizarding world believed Elsbeth had been pregnant with had died in childbirth.
Fervently hoping Hermione wouldn't twig as to who'd really carried Tam, Draco had shaken his head in answer to her question.
"And the baby that she wasn't carrying didn't die either," Hermione had concluded. "Wouldn't Skeeter like to get a hold of that story."
"You've no idea," Draco had responded dryly.
Hermione had smiled. "And knowing you, I still won't by the end of this exchange. You aren't likely to tell me anymore than you need for whatever purpose you have. So spill, why are you sharing this with me now?"
"Originally I'd had no intention of hiding my son, but when he was born certain things were… well, let's just say complications arose that caused the need for secrecy for a time." Draco had chosen his words carefully. "As he grew, we were stunned to find no traces of magical capability in him, so we decided his existence should remain a secret."
"No magic?" Hermione had whispered in shock.
"Not until his last birthday, where, in true Malfoy fashion, it made itself rather dramatically known." At Hermione's questioning glance, Draco had grudgingly added, "I think I may have a seer in the family." Her stunned expression had been almost comical. "Hermione, I need your help to ascertain if he's going to get a Hogwarts' letter. If he is, we'll have to find a way to integrate him into the wizarding community before that happens."
Hermione had readily agreed to use her position in the Ministry's Education Department to help Draco. "Luna's the Keeper of the List these days. There shouldn't be a problem getting you in to see her as long as you're with me. Sorry, I don’t think there's a way to arrange a private meeting. No one's allowed to see her without an Ministry Education representative present."
The relief had been so great that Draco wouldn't have cared if the Minister himself was going to be there. Besides he had figured there wasn't anything Lovegood would say that he hadn't already told Hermione. They'd agreed to meet the next day.
~*~
Luna Lovegood had frowned in confusion at Draco's question. "Of course Tam will get a letter to Hogwarts when he turns eleven. Why ever would you think otherwise?"
Draco's thoughts had flipped through varying answers, I was afraid he didn't have enough magic, he always seems more at home among Muggles. He shies away from wizards and witches he doesn't know as if their magic disturbs him somehow, I'd hoped he wouldn't so I'd never have to share him. Finally he shrugged and remarked casually, "He seemed to be a Squib. Showed no magic until the incident on his seventh birthday this July."
Luna was nodding sagely. "That's often the way with seers, especially ones as powerful as Tam will grow to be. Didn't you know?"
Draco didn't as a matter of fact, and her proclamation had both thrilled and terrified him. The image of Tam being influential and respected among the wizarding world filled him with pride, however seers' lives were never easy, frequently filled with pain and solitude. Stomping down on that train of thought, Draco had wondered why he so readily believed what some batty witch had to say. "I hardly think being able to tell the colour of his Muggle kite qualifies him as a seer of note," he had replied, squashing down the memory of stunned disbelief and mingled hope he'd experienced when Tam had picked up the nondescript wrapped package, eyes lighting with joy the moment his hand brushed against the ornate paper, exclaiming, "You got me a box kite! However did you know I wanted one in red?"
Smiling, Luna answered in that vague way she had. "Oh, not yet, but he will be. He's the seventh son, after all."
One aristocratic eyebrow had lifted. "I may not have done as well as Hermione, here, in Arithmancy, but even I can count to two." Draco had been aware that his voice was laden with more sarcasm than was warranted, but conversations -- if you could even call them conversations -- with Lovegood always left him feeling like he was continually missing important bits which made him unaccountably cross. Having Hermione there watching intently, despite her uncharacteristic silence, hadn't helped in the slightest. "Besides, isn't it supposed to be the seventh son of the seventh son? Last I checked I was an only child."
Luna had gazed at him a reproachfully. "Tam's the third son in his generation actually, but he's also the seventh son born in the line of Annika Harrington. He'd only need to be the seventh son of the seventh son if he was a Muggle. I can't even imagine the resultant power if that happened within a wizarding family." She had cocked her head to the side, obviously contemplating the idea. "One had better hope he'd been raised well. I suppose -"
Draco's head had started to pound. He'd unceremoniously cut Luna off. "Who in the bloody hell is Annika Harrington?"
"She was an extremely gifted seer. And Harry's great-grandmother, of course. On the Potter side."
Hermione had made a sound as if she'd been slapped and Draco had cursed inwardly.
~*~
Back in Hermione's office, it had been obvious she was furious with him though she had been sitting very quietly behind her desk. Draco's mood hadn't been much better.
"How could you, Draco?" she'd asked. "How could you do that to Harry?"
"Do what?" he'd replied. "Get up the duff by the Great Harry Potter, or not take out a full page ad in the Daily Prophet to celebrate when I had?"
"Don't be difficult. Telling Harry and announcing it to everyone are two different things."
"He was married, Hermione. I don't think either he or his wife would have been thrilled to know I was carrying a little Potter around." Draco had volleyed back.
"They were separated by then." Hermione had countered.
"No, they didn't separate until well after I'd had Tam, when I was pregnant -"
"Harry didn't move out until much later, but their first trial separation was shortly after Lily was born. Their marriage was on and off from that point on until they finally decided they couldn't work things out and made it official. Did you think Harry would've have slept with you if they hadn't been separated at the time?" Draco's laugh had been sharp and bitter. Sighing, Hermione had tried a different tack. "This is getting us nowhere, maybe we should start with how it happened. I don't think I've ever heard of a male conceiving without a lot of preparatory magic involved. Wizard pregnancies are extremely rare."
"You don't say."
"Draco." Hermione's tone had held a warning and Draco had finally relented.
"I doubt Harry remembers much of the encounter, he was so plastered he could barely string two words together," he had explained. "As a matter of fact I doubt that he'd even be able to recall attending the Ministry function where it occurred, but I'll bet you can." Draco's tone was just this side of caustic.
Hermione's brow had knit together in a frown. "The Ministry has many functions, why would I remember that one in particular?"
"Oh surely you'd recollect this one, the slinky green dress you borrowed for me to wear, the documents I acquired at your behest, the Polyjuice."
"Oh god," Hermione had whispered, her face paling. "Harry thought you were Ginny."
"I was Ginny, thanks to you, complete with her breasts, her twat and her sexy backless dress Potter had bought for her but she'd never worn." Draco practically spat, his voice changed to a falsetto imitation of Hermione's voice. "Draco, I've a plan. We both agree it's crucial that we find out what Ginny's boss, Grimsby, is up to, and vital that we know soon. Of course you're aware that, though Ginny has access to the files we need, she's far too loyal to believe Grimsby's doing anything shady and refuses to help. So, if you were to Polyjuice into Ginny, for, say, the upcoming Ministry function that neither Harry nor Ginny are attending, you'd be able to get to what we need undetected. It's perfect!"
"It may not have turned out perfectly, but it did work, Draco, don't pretend otherwise," Hermione had huffed. "We never would have known Roger Grimsby was being blackmailed if you hadn't done it. Or later discovered who else Michael Davenport, had been blackmailing in his bid for pure-blood factions to regain control. Besides, how was I to know Harry would chose that one time to go to a Ministry party when he'd already been given leave not to attend. He wasn't supposed to be there."
"But he was," Draco had responded tiredly, "stumbled in halfway through, drunk enough not to notice that the person with a body shaped like his wife in the dress he'd been longing to see hugging those curves was in fact not his Mrs. Potter. I couldn't afford to risk him becoming suspicious, so I didn't protest when he began to sloppily seduce me. If I'd had any idea that he and I were about to do the near impossible and create another life, I'd probably have come up with another option."
Draco could recall that night like it had happened yesterday, the feel of Harry's hands on a body not quite his own. The wake of fire they left as they moved. Kisses with so much passion and intensity that Draco had no breath left to protest or cajole his way out of what was happening. No choice but to respond with equal fervor.
The whole encounter had been the strangest he'd ever experienced. Horrifying and electrifying in turns. Draco had lusted after Harry for so long that the opportunity to touch him, kiss him, wrap his mouth and legs around him had been unbelievable bliss. Yet at the same time, the sensations Draco's borrowed body had been sending him felt so foreign they bordered on wrong, and it hadn't been his name on Harry's lips when he'd come.
Harry had held at him tightly afterwards, seemingly unwilling to let him go. Stroking his hair, Harry had murmured, "Good, so good. It's never been like that before. You were amazing, passionate, beautiful…" and he'd trailed off in favour of kissing Draco instead.
The mark that night with Harry had left on Draco may have been less tangible than Tam, but it was no less permanent.
"Why haven't you told Harry yet, Draco?" Hermione had asked quietly. "After Ginny and Harry had divorced, after we'd managed to reveal what was going on with Grimsby and Davenport and the others, there were no moral or political issues standing in the way. He loves his children more than anything and he's a good father. How could you keep Tam from him?"
Draco had been unable to meet her eyes. "It took us nearly two years to pin down Davenport, and another six months to make sure none of his flunkies were loose looking for payback. I was unwilling to risk Tam's, yours or my life by telling anyone a baby existed. Once the Davenport business was cleaned up, Tam was almost two-years-old and was walking and talking. I didn't have any idea how to go about telling Harry. Of course waiting didn't make it any simpler, and by the time we'd begun to suspect that Tam was probably a Squib, I'd decided just to keep his existence a secret for good."
"You were going to keep him hidden forever?" Hermione had gasped.
"Oh for pities sake, it's not like we keep him in the dungeon or anything." Draco's headache had been pounding by then. "He lives with Elsbeth's Squib sister, Catriona, and leads the normal life of a Muggle child. We had decided to keep it that way and not introduce him to the wizarding world, nor let the wizarding world know about him."
"But weren't you afraid Scorpius might say something?" Hermione's eyes had narrowed. "Or doesn't he even know he has a brother?"
"Of course he knows," Draco had replied a tad waspishly. "He's known about him since Tam was a few months old. We cast the secrecy spell on both boys so that neither one can talk about the other to people outside the immediate family, or tell anyone that I'm the one who actually gave birth. That spell's been a huge blessing." Draco had paused, thinking. "Though I'll wager Scorpius will spend some time with his mouth open and no words issuing forth when he meets Albus Potter as a direct result of it."
That had brought a small smile, however Hermione had sobered quickly. "You need to tell Harry, Draco, No more excuses."
Draco had nodded miserably. "I know. I'll tell him."
"When?" she had demanded.
"Soon, I promise. I need to talk to Elsbeth first."
Hermione had sighed again. "I can't just leave it at 'soon', Draco. I care about you and understand how the situation came to this, however I care about Harry, as well, and it's long past time he knew." She had held up her hand, stopping any protest. "I'll give you until the first of September. Until the Hogwarts Express leaves the station with Albus and Scorpius on board. If you haven't told him by then, Merlin help me, I will."
~*~
Draco hadn't meant to leave it to the last minute. Platform nine and three-quarters wasn't exactly the best place to start the discussion after all. Yet he hadn't been able to work himself up to it, and now the clock had run out.
The train began to move, and Draco watched as Harry walked alongside it, smiling and waving. Harry's expression held a similar mix of pride and loss that Draco felt watching their sons glide away from them...
The last trace of steam evaporated in the autumn air. The train rounded a corner. Harry's hand was still raised in farewell. Looking over at Ginny, Harry lowered his hand and absentmindedly touched the lightning scar on his forehead as he spoke to her.
Draco's heart clenched when saw Hermione walking over to where they were standing. She gestured towards the entrance and Ginny shook her head, pointing the other way. Ron joined the group and shortly after, Ginny seemed to be taking her leave and the littlest Potter, Lily, was in a tight embrace with her father.
Hermione met Draco's gaze and held it, her expression stern. And while Draco knew she was giving him one last chance, knew he needed to close the distance dividing them, anxiety kept his feet frozen to the platform.
"Right then," Elsbeth declared, taking Draco's arm and gracefully dragging him towards Harry as Ginny and her daughter waved goodbye. "It's time."
Harry looked a little lost without any of his children, and Draco was again struck with the enormity of what he'd done by keeping Tam from him for so many years. It was never meant to be like this.
Elsbeth greeted everyone and, with the same bewildering skill of Narcissa, somehow managed to slightly separate Ron and Hugo from Harry and Hermione allowing Draco his opportunity. Draco wondered idly if Social Stealth was part of the required curriculum for debutantes.
Opening his mouth to speak, Draco closed it again, unsure of how to begin.
"What do you want, Malfoy?" Harry grumbled. "It better not be something that belongs in the office. I'm really not in the mood."
"Harry!" exclaimed Hermione. "There's no need to be rude. I'm sure Draco wouldn't have come over here unless he had an important reason. After all, he's just put Scorpius on that train as well."
Harry had the grace to look abashed and for once Draco was grateful for Hermione's clumsy Gryffindor rescue.
Exchanging one more glance with Hermione, Draco took a steadying breath and faced the future. "Potte- Harry, we need to talk."
~fin
Additional A/N: You may have noticed I used bits of JKR's epilogue. Bits of the paragraph about Draco's family: Draco Malfoy was standing there with his wife and son, a dark coat buttoned up to his throat. His hair was receding somewhat, which emphasised the pointed chin. The new boy resembled Draco as much as Albus resembled Harry. Draco caught sight of Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny staring at him, nodded curtly and turned away again. And pieces of very the end: The train began to move, and Harry walked alongside it, watching his son's thin face, already ablaze with excitement. Harry kept smiling and waving, even though it was like a little bereavement, watching his son glide away from him...
The last trace of steam evaporated in the autumn air. The train rounded a corner. Harry's hand was still raised in farewell.
"He'll be alright," murmured Ginny.
As Harry looked at her, he lowered his hand absentmindedly and touched the lightning scar on his forehead.
"I know he will."
This bunny was a bear to trap, and originally I was going to write the bit after Draco told Harry, but I didn't have the time. So yes, am still considering continuing this if folk want*
*especially if the giftee wants.