And From Life's Dissonance 3/4 (SGA/Highlander) [NC-17]
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four
Disclaimers can be found in part one.
***
First Strike
Kate comes up to Elizabeth's office. She stands just inside the open door. When Elizabeth looks up and notices her, Kate smiles. "Are you busy?" she asks.
"Always," says Elizabeth. She sighs heavily and pushes her laptop away. "Come in."
Kate nods and closes the door behind her. She takes a seat in front of Elizabeth's desk and positions herself - back straight, legs folded under the chair, tilted slightly to the side, palms open, left to rest gently on her thighs. She keeps her eyes open wide, looking interested. "I hope everything is all right?"
"You tell me." Elizabeth folds her hands on her desk and studies Kate. "My staff psychologist is at least twenty-five hundred years old, one of my chief scientists is a member of a secret organization and has, essentially, been stalking you, and you've just beheaded one of the new expedition members. How do you think I'm doing?"
"I hope you understand why I kept the things I did from you," says Kate.
"Just because I understand something doesn't mean I have to like it," says Elizabeth. Her voice is so controlled. "Did you ever think it would be possible to just trust us?"
"I'm too used to not trusting anyone," says Kate. She gives Elizabeth a serious look. "You heard what Radek said about the Watchers. They kill people who find out their secrets, including Immortals."
"This expedition is about so much more than secrets." Elizabeth's eyes light up, and her passion for Atlantis and the expedition is always so infectious. "It's about standing together as people of Earth. We've come to learn about and from the people of this galaxy, and we can't do that if we keep ourselves divided from each other."
"I trust you. I trust John, Teyla, and the rest of your command staff, Elizabeth. I even trust Radek, despite the fact that he's a Watcher." Kate lets herself lean forward just enough for Elizabeth to read the intensity of that statement. "But I'm a trained psychiatrist with thousands of years of experience in reading people. Not everyone on this expedition can be trusted as unreservedly as you can."
"It's not just how I feel as the leader of this expedition, Kate," says Elizabeth. She looks down at her hands, then back up to meet Kate's eyes. "I want to trust in your friendship as well."
"And I've violated that trust," says Kate. There's no questioning tone in her statement, because it's true. It's one of the conflicts inherent in growing close with mortals who don't know what she is. "I'm sorry for that."
"You can earn it back," says Elizabeth. She smiles, and Kate leans back, unable to control a sigh of relief. "I'm a big believer in second chances."
Rodney opens Elizabeth's door without knocking. He's followed by Radek, who has a faintly apologetic air about him. "We have a problem," announces Rodney.
"What else is new?" asks Elizabeth, giving Kate a wry look. "What is it this time, Rodney?"
"Dr. Secret Society here--"
"I have a name," interrupts Radek. " Please be so kind as to use it."
Rodney rolls his eyes and turns back to Elizabeth and Kate. "Dr. Zelenka here, being a member of an apparently thousands of years old secret society, is apparently privy to a few secrets that none of the rest of us know. Except maybe Kate."
"Would anyone else like to yell at me?" asks Kate tiredly. "Should we get everyone in your office all at once, Elizabeth, and let them get it over with?"
"Poor Kate," murmurs Elizabeth.
"Yes, well," says Rodney, snapping his fingers. "Important information here!"
"When I was going over the results of our weekly systems scan, I found something," says Radek, stepping in front of Rodney and walking to Elizabeth's desk. He holds his tablet out to her. "There is an encryption the Watchers use. It is very simple, really, and easy enough to break. Cassandra's Watcher was preparing his first report to go in the weekly databurst to Earth."
"He was going to give the Watchers information on Atlantis," says Rodney. "Detailed information. Location, defenses, available technology."
"They have no way to get here," says Radek. "The Watchers are not even aware Earth is capable of space travel."
"But having them aware of Atlantis means they'd be aware of Ancient technology," says Kate. "Including life sign tracking systems."
"Which, I have to say, could be modified to detect people like you, Kate," says Rodney. He looks smug. "I've been playing."
"This technology could be abused by Hunters, yes," says Radek. "You know about them, I presume?"
"I heard about how Darius died," says Kate. Fear wells up in her gut. "You mean he wasn't the only one?"
Radek chuckles mirthlessly. "Hardly. The problem is taken care of for now, though."
"Hunters?" asks Elizabeth, her voice sharp.
"Rogue Watchers," says Radek. "They believe all Immortals are evil, regardless of behavior, and try to kill them."
"Is the other Watcher here someone who believes that?" asks Elizabeth.
"I hope not," says Rodney. "We really don't need a new therapist on Atlantis."
"I feel better already," says Kate. She's trying to decide whether or not to take offense.
"I'm sure you do," says Rodney scathingly. "Look, I'm used to you, okay? I even like you, despite the fact that you lied to us. Now, can we move on and start discussing the Watcher that's not in the room with us?"
"That's right, Rodney," mutters Radek, rolling his eyes. "Just keep belittling me. That is what will resolve this whole issue."
"Gentlemen," warns Elizabeth. They stop glaring at each other and turn to her. "I want this Watcher's name, and I want him in a holding cell while my we discuss how this person's nation's espionage laws apply in the Pegasus galaxy."
"Right," says Rodney. "I, um--" He gestures outside of Elizabeth's office. "Sheppard said he'd take care of that once you gave him a go."
"I see," says Elizabeth, very, very carefully. "Then let's go have a chat with this person, shall we? I'd prefer you give me a name, instead of surprising me when we get there."
"It's Mike Branton," says Radek. "I believe you know him."
"Yes. I do." Elizabeth nods. "Thank you." It takes a moment, but Kate remembers where she heard Mike Branton's name. It's outside of the usual channels, but she and Teyla had been talking about Elizabeth's lunch date with him.
Kate gives Elizabeth a concerned look, one that she brushes off as they both stand. She doesn't say another word until they reach the holding cells.
***
John's eyes seek her out as soon as they enter the holding cells, and he lets out what would, to almost anyone else, be an imperceptible sigh of relief. Teyla is standing next to him, her brow furrowed, and Ronon is leaning against the wall. His arms are crossed, and he's giving Dr. Branton a flat, dead-eyed stare.
"I would love to know what the Watchers think they're going to do in my city," says Elizabeth.
Rodney raises one hand from where he's staring down at his tablet. "We've only gotten a little more of this message deciphered, but it looks like he's tattling on Radek and Kate for spilling the beans about Immortals."
"And Watchers," says Dr. Branton. "Didn't they make you take an oath?"
"Did you not sign several levels of non-disclosure forms and confidentiality agreements before you came to Atlantis?" asks Radek.
"You don't seriously expect me to believe she hasn't told the Immortals about this place," says Dr. Branton, nodding at Kate.
"She has a name," growls John.
"She can also talk for herself," says Kate mildly.
"I want all of Dr. Branton's personal effects brought to my office," says Elizabeth coldly. "He's going to be shipped back to Earth at the first available chance to face charges of espionage."
"You're too nice," says Ronon. His voice is almost a growl. "On Sateda, punishment for espionage was death. No trial if you could find proof."
"Sometimes I wish we did things your way," says John.
***
Kate comes to Teyla's room after dinner. "It's been a while," she says after Teyla answers the door. "Since we've gotten together, I mean."
"Too long," says Teyla, smiling at her. The butterflies in Kate's stomach calm down as Teyla gestures to her room. "Come in."
"It is good to see you," says Teyla. She leads Kate to an area of her room with pillows and blankets strewn on the floor. They sit facing each other, and Kate notices that there's a lessening in Teyla's usual liquid grace.
"How are you feeling?" asks Kate.
The look Teyla gives her is long-suffering. "I could be better," she says.
"Couldn't we all?" says Kate. She clasps her hands around her knees and leans back against some pillows. "I'm sorry if I had any part in that."
"It is not you," says Teyla. Uncertainty washes over her face as she pauses. "I am pregnant."
Kate's eyes widen. "Congratulations," she says. She smiles as she glances down at Teyla's stomach. "How far along are you?"
"Three months," says Teyla. "Not enough time for it to become clear." She hesitates. "I would prefer that you keep this to yourself."
"Of course." Kate nods. "Teyla, I'm touched that you trust me enough to confide in me."
"The only people that know are you and Carson," says Teyla. "I must tell Elizabeth and John. We will be meeting tomorrow."
"I'm sure they'll be as pleased as Carson and I are," says Kate. "Though the logistics of explaining your pregnancy to the IOA are going to give her a headache."
"I do not envy her that," says Teyla, and then she and Kate are laughing together.
***
Adrift
Too many crises happen the next day, and as Atlantis lurches into the sky for the first time in millenia, Kate makes her way to the infirmary. She's hoping to find Carson and Jennifer there, and she'll offer to lend a hand if they need first aid skills.
Jennifer's trying to hold Elizabeth down. She's half-dazed, with blood trickling down her skull and burns on her arms. Ronon's sitting on a bed next to her, glaring at a medic who's trying to treat him. Carson is nowhere that she can see.
An instant later, she catches sight of him. Teyla and Rodney are standing off to the side. They're pale and stricken with dread, staring at John's form on a stretcher. Kate's breath catches as John codes, and Carson calls for medical help. She sees shards of glass embedded in John's back, and his shirt is seared away.
"What happened?" Kate swallows as she walks over to Ronon. The best thing she can do now is let Carson work. She knows this, but it still takes all her willpower to keep herself from running to John's side, especially when she sees his heartbeat come back.
"Asuran laser beam in the control tower," says Ronon. He grunts in pain as he starts to tug on the dagger of glass embedded in his shoulder. "Sheppard knocked Elizabeth out of the way, but he took the whole blast himself."
"You're going to injure yourself further," says the medic, holding ineffectually onto a bottle of saline.
The glass clatters to the ground, and Kate makes her decision. She grabs the bottle of saline from the medic's hand. "Then you should have called for Dr. Cole or Dr. Biro before he did this," she says. She nods at the bed Ronon's on. "Lay down. We're going to have to make sure there's no glass left in the wound before we stitch it up."
"You a doctor?" asks Ronon. He lays back despite his questions. "Thought you were a psychiatrist."
"Psychiatrists go to medical school and complete a medical residency," says Kate. "I can at least clean a wound and stitch you up. Besides, it'll keep me busy."
"I get that," says Ronon.
***
With John in the infirmary, his life slowly bleeding away, and Elizabeth unable to see straight due to a hairline skull fracture, Teyla's in charge of Atlantis. She's been working endlessly, and Kate sees dark circles under Teyla's eyes as she looks up and catches sight of her.
"What will you do if we are unable to find power, or to find a new planet to settle on?" asks Teyla. It's the middle of the night, and they've all been working frantically to find the answers to their problems.
Kate's been able to get out of the infirmary, and she's holding out a cup of tea for Teyla to take. "What do you mean?" she asks, sitting down. She shoves the tea at Teyla and takes a drink of her own coffee.
"If you cannot die, what will you do when the rest of us perish?" asks Teyla. She grimaces at the scent of her tea, but drinks it anyway. Elizabeth's office is full of reports.
"I would die as well," says Kate. She cradles her mug to her chest. "If Atlantis ever returned to conditions where life could be supported, I would revive." She doesn't say how traumatic that would be, or how she'd be changed by the experience.
"I would not wish that for you," says Teyla. She reaches across Elizabeth's desk and takes Kate's hand.
"I wouldn't wish that for any of us," says Kate. She gives Teyla a reassuring look. "You won't let that happen."
"I hope not to." Teyla's smile is warm and reassuring, but strained.
"When's the last time you got any rest?" asks Kate.
"Far too long ago," admits Teyla. She pushes Elizabeth's chair back and stands. "I was going to go to the infirmary to check on John, and to update Elizabeth on our situation. She is--" Teyla gives Kate a wry look. "She is very frustrated."
"It's understandable," says Kate. She stands as Teyla rounds Elizabeth's desk, and they walk out of Teyla's office together. "Elizabeth is used to being in control of Atlantis, and the skull fracture is keeping her from that."
"The fact that it is understandable makes it no less irritating." Teyla's voice is tart.
"I imagine not," says Kate. She glances over at Teyla as they reach the door to Elizabeth's office. "At least she's alive."
"At least we have that," agrees Teyla.
John's form, still and almost lifeless, is on Kate's mind as they walk to the nearest transporter.
***
Kate hears the beeping of the life-support machine that John's on as she walks into the infirmary with Teyla. Rodney's there, taking five minutes from helping to save the city, and he gulps as he spots Kate and Teyla walking in.
Their fingers are laced together; Kate gave up the pretense that she didn't need the comfort of Teyla's friendship so recently that people in Atlantis aren't used to the shift in nonverbal dynamics.
Teyla gives Kate's hand a squeeze before dropping it and moving to speak with Elizabeth. The two of them speak in hushed, quiet voices as Kate moves to John's bedside.
"So, uh," says Rodney. "How are you holding up?"
"As well as any of us are," says Kate. She brushes her fingertips across John's forehead. The gauze is rough and snags on her skin.
"I keep thinking he's going to be okay," says Rodney. "That he's going to wake up, kick Carson out of the control chair, and yell at us all for wrecking his city. But Dr. Keller says--"
"Dr. Keller says not to borrow trouble," finishes Jennifer, walking in. "Kate. How you doing?"
By now, the whole city knows about her relationship with John. "Just fine," says Kate, smiling and letting the calm settle across her features.
She's known Jennifer for three years now, so Kate's knows from the look Jennifer's giving her that she's not fooled. "We need to talk," says Jennifer. "John has you and Elizabeth listed as next of kin on his medical paperwork, and we're talking brain surgery here."
"It's gotten that serious?" asks Kate. Rodney's still standing next to her, arms crossed, and she can see his face tighten with anguish.
"His brain won't stop swelling," says Jennifer. "Unless we reduce the swelling now--"
"He'll die," says Rodney.
"Even if he survives, you'll have to expect significant reduction in cognitive function," says Jennifer.
Kate nods. The faint tingling that has always marked John's presence hums under her skin. "Take him off life support."
"What?" asks Rodney. "Are you crazy? You can't just let him die--"
"Take him off life support," repeats Kate. She's half-tempted to start pulling plugs on her own. "He'll be fine."
"Kate, I don't think that's going to work the way you think it will," says Jennifer.
"Do it now," says Kate. "Trust me."
Rodney's gaze is whipping back and forth between her and John. "He's like you, isn't he?"
"Not yet." Kate knows her face is white. "Take him off life support and he will be. Do brain surgery, and you're going to doom him to a lifetime of mental disability on Earth, where he'll be cut off from those of us that love him."
"What do you mean 'like you?'" Jennifer's voice is sharp. "Kate, if I take him off life support, he's going to die."
"Do it, Jennifer," says Kate. "Please just trust me."
"Kate." Kate turns to see Elizabeth standing in the doorway, white-faced and supported by a determined-looking Teyla. "Is it the only way?"
"Dr. Weir, you should be in bed," says Jennifer. She starts forward, but Elizabeth holds up one trembling hand, and Jennifer stops.
"I'm sorry, Elizabeth." Kate glances back at John. His skin is paper thin, and he's already starting to look wasted. "If there was any other way--"
Elizabeth nods. "I'm aware of that." Her gaze strays to John, and Teyla's grip around her waist tightens. "Take Colonel Sheppard off life support, Dr. Keller."
"I can't do that," says Jennifer. "It goes against all my principles as a physician."
"Then I'll do it." Kate can't smile. She can't do anything but look over at John. Rodney's still standing in the corner of her vision, and she hears him gulp.
"He's going to be okay after this, right?" he asks.
"Yes." The short answer is all Kate can choke out.
"Then I have to get back to the pressing business of saving all our lives," says Rodney. He huffs an impatient sigh. "Radek's probably ready to crash us all into the nearest star. Which means that you, Elizabeth, should be in bed."
"I concur," says Teyla. She guides Elizabeth back to her bed, and Rodney follows along behind them, fussing until Teyla chases him off.
Jennifer's the only one left behind, and she's staring at Kate. "You can't do this," she says.
"Watch me." Kate flips the first switch off. Half an hour later, John's heart stops.
***
When John wakes up, he sees Kate sitting in the chair next to his bed. He clears his throat and mutters something incomprehensible before pushing himself up. When he meets her eyes, and sees what's in them, he knows. "I'm so unbelievably pissed at you right now."
Disclaimers can be found in part one.
***
First Strike
Kate comes up to Elizabeth's office. She stands just inside the open door. When Elizabeth looks up and notices her, Kate smiles. "Are you busy?" she asks.
"Always," says Elizabeth. She sighs heavily and pushes her laptop away. "Come in."
Kate nods and closes the door behind her. She takes a seat in front of Elizabeth's desk and positions herself - back straight, legs folded under the chair, tilted slightly to the side, palms open, left to rest gently on her thighs. She keeps her eyes open wide, looking interested. "I hope everything is all right?"
"You tell me." Elizabeth folds her hands on her desk and studies Kate. "My staff psychologist is at least twenty-five hundred years old, one of my chief scientists is a member of a secret organization and has, essentially, been stalking you, and you've just beheaded one of the new expedition members. How do you think I'm doing?"
"I hope you understand why I kept the things I did from you," says Kate.
"Just because I understand something doesn't mean I have to like it," says Elizabeth. Her voice is so controlled. "Did you ever think it would be possible to just trust us?"
"I'm too used to not trusting anyone," says Kate. She gives Elizabeth a serious look. "You heard what Radek said about the Watchers. They kill people who find out their secrets, including Immortals."
"This expedition is about so much more than secrets." Elizabeth's eyes light up, and her passion for Atlantis and the expedition is always so infectious. "It's about standing together as people of Earth. We've come to learn about and from the people of this galaxy, and we can't do that if we keep ourselves divided from each other."
"I trust you. I trust John, Teyla, and the rest of your command staff, Elizabeth. I even trust Radek, despite the fact that he's a Watcher." Kate lets herself lean forward just enough for Elizabeth to read the intensity of that statement. "But I'm a trained psychiatrist with thousands of years of experience in reading people. Not everyone on this expedition can be trusted as unreservedly as you can."
"It's not just how I feel as the leader of this expedition, Kate," says Elizabeth. She looks down at her hands, then back up to meet Kate's eyes. "I want to trust in your friendship as well."
"And I've violated that trust," says Kate. There's no questioning tone in her statement, because it's true. It's one of the conflicts inherent in growing close with mortals who don't know what she is. "I'm sorry for that."
"You can earn it back," says Elizabeth. She smiles, and Kate leans back, unable to control a sigh of relief. "I'm a big believer in second chances."
Rodney opens Elizabeth's door without knocking. He's followed by Radek, who has a faintly apologetic air about him. "We have a problem," announces Rodney.
"What else is new?" asks Elizabeth, giving Kate a wry look. "What is it this time, Rodney?"
"Dr. Secret Society here--"
"I have a name," interrupts Radek. " Please be so kind as to use it."
Rodney rolls his eyes and turns back to Elizabeth and Kate. "Dr. Zelenka here, being a member of an apparently thousands of years old secret society, is apparently privy to a few secrets that none of the rest of us know. Except maybe Kate."
"Would anyone else like to yell at me?" asks Kate tiredly. "Should we get everyone in your office all at once, Elizabeth, and let them get it over with?"
"Poor Kate," murmurs Elizabeth.
"Yes, well," says Rodney, snapping his fingers. "Important information here!"
"When I was going over the results of our weekly systems scan, I found something," says Radek, stepping in front of Rodney and walking to Elizabeth's desk. He holds his tablet out to her. "There is an encryption the Watchers use. It is very simple, really, and easy enough to break. Cassandra's Watcher was preparing his first report to go in the weekly databurst to Earth."
"He was going to give the Watchers information on Atlantis," says Rodney. "Detailed information. Location, defenses, available technology."
"They have no way to get here," says Radek. "The Watchers are not even aware Earth is capable of space travel."
"But having them aware of Atlantis means they'd be aware of Ancient technology," says Kate. "Including life sign tracking systems."
"Which, I have to say, could be modified to detect people like you, Kate," says Rodney. He looks smug. "I've been playing."
"This technology could be abused by Hunters, yes," says Radek. "You know about them, I presume?"
"I heard about how Darius died," says Kate. Fear wells up in her gut. "You mean he wasn't the only one?"
Radek chuckles mirthlessly. "Hardly. The problem is taken care of for now, though."
"Hunters?" asks Elizabeth, her voice sharp.
"Rogue Watchers," says Radek. "They believe all Immortals are evil, regardless of behavior, and try to kill them."
"Is the other Watcher here someone who believes that?" asks Elizabeth.
"I hope not," says Rodney. "We really don't need a new therapist on Atlantis."
"I feel better already," says Kate. She's trying to decide whether or not to take offense.
"I'm sure you do," says Rodney scathingly. "Look, I'm used to you, okay? I even like you, despite the fact that you lied to us. Now, can we move on and start discussing the Watcher that's not in the room with us?"
"That's right, Rodney," mutters Radek, rolling his eyes. "Just keep belittling me. That is what will resolve this whole issue."
"Gentlemen," warns Elizabeth. They stop glaring at each other and turn to her. "I want this Watcher's name, and I want him in a holding cell while my we discuss how this person's nation's espionage laws apply in the Pegasus galaxy."
"Right," says Rodney. "I, um--" He gestures outside of Elizabeth's office. "Sheppard said he'd take care of that once you gave him a go."
"I see," says Elizabeth, very, very carefully. "Then let's go have a chat with this person, shall we? I'd prefer you give me a name, instead of surprising me when we get there."
"It's Mike Branton," says Radek. "I believe you know him."
"Yes. I do." Elizabeth nods. "Thank you." It takes a moment, but Kate remembers where she heard Mike Branton's name. It's outside of the usual channels, but she and Teyla had been talking about Elizabeth's lunch date with him.
Kate gives Elizabeth a concerned look, one that she brushes off as they both stand. She doesn't say another word until they reach the holding cells.
***
John's eyes seek her out as soon as they enter the holding cells, and he lets out what would, to almost anyone else, be an imperceptible sigh of relief. Teyla is standing next to him, her brow furrowed, and Ronon is leaning against the wall. His arms are crossed, and he's giving Dr. Branton a flat, dead-eyed stare.
"I would love to know what the Watchers think they're going to do in my city," says Elizabeth.
Rodney raises one hand from where he's staring down at his tablet. "We've only gotten a little more of this message deciphered, but it looks like he's tattling on Radek and Kate for spilling the beans about Immortals."
"And Watchers," says Dr. Branton. "Didn't they make you take an oath?"
"Did you not sign several levels of non-disclosure forms and confidentiality agreements before you came to Atlantis?" asks Radek.
"You don't seriously expect me to believe she hasn't told the Immortals about this place," says Dr. Branton, nodding at Kate.
"She has a name," growls John.
"She can also talk for herself," says Kate mildly.
"I want all of Dr. Branton's personal effects brought to my office," says Elizabeth coldly. "He's going to be shipped back to Earth at the first available chance to face charges of espionage."
"You're too nice," says Ronon. His voice is almost a growl. "On Sateda, punishment for espionage was death. No trial if you could find proof."
"Sometimes I wish we did things your way," says John.
***
Kate comes to Teyla's room after dinner. "It's been a while," she says after Teyla answers the door. "Since we've gotten together, I mean."
"Too long," says Teyla, smiling at her. The butterflies in Kate's stomach calm down as Teyla gestures to her room. "Come in."
"It is good to see you," says Teyla. She leads Kate to an area of her room with pillows and blankets strewn on the floor. They sit facing each other, and Kate notices that there's a lessening in Teyla's usual liquid grace.
"How are you feeling?" asks Kate.
The look Teyla gives her is long-suffering. "I could be better," she says.
"Couldn't we all?" says Kate. She clasps her hands around her knees and leans back against some pillows. "I'm sorry if I had any part in that."
"It is not you," says Teyla. Uncertainty washes over her face as she pauses. "I am pregnant."
Kate's eyes widen. "Congratulations," she says. She smiles as she glances down at Teyla's stomach. "How far along are you?"
"Three months," says Teyla. "Not enough time for it to become clear." She hesitates. "I would prefer that you keep this to yourself."
"Of course." Kate nods. "Teyla, I'm touched that you trust me enough to confide in me."
"The only people that know are you and Carson," says Teyla. "I must tell Elizabeth and John. We will be meeting tomorrow."
"I'm sure they'll be as pleased as Carson and I are," says Kate. "Though the logistics of explaining your pregnancy to the IOA are going to give her a headache."
"I do not envy her that," says Teyla, and then she and Kate are laughing together.
***
Adrift
Too many crises happen the next day, and as Atlantis lurches into the sky for the first time in millenia, Kate makes her way to the infirmary. She's hoping to find Carson and Jennifer there, and she'll offer to lend a hand if they need first aid skills.
Jennifer's trying to hold Elizabeth down. She's half-dazed, with blood trickling down her skull and burns on her arms. Ronon's sitting on a bed next to her, glaring at a medic who's trying to treat him. Carson is nowhere that she can see.
An instant later, she catches sight of him. Teyla and Rodney are standing off to the side. They're pale and stricken with dread, staring at John's form on a stretcher. Kate's breath catches as John codes, and Carson calls for medical help. She sees shards of glass embedded in John's back, and his shirt is seared away.
"What happened?" Kate swallows as she walks over to Ronon. The best thing she can do now is let Carson work. She knows this, but it still takes all her willpower to keep herself from running to John's side, especially when she sees his heartbeat come back.
"Asuran laser beam in the control tower," says Ronon. He grunts in pain as he starts to tug on the dagger of glass embedded in his shoulder. "Sheppard knocked Elizabeth out of the way, but he took the whole blast himself."
"You're going to injure yourself further," says the medic, holding ineffectually onto a bottle of saline.
The glass clatters to the ground, and Kate makes her decision. She grabs the bottle of saline from the medic's hand. "Then you should have called for Dr. Cole or Dr. Biro before he did this," she says. She nods at the bed Ronon's on. "Lay down. We're going to have to make sure there's no glass left in the wound before we stitch it up."
"You a doctor?" asks Ronon. He lays back despite his questions. "Thought you were a psychiatrist."
"Psychiatrists go to medical school and complete a medical residency," says Kate. "I can at least clean a wound and stitch you up. Besides, it'll keep me busy."
"I get that," says Ronon.
***
With John in the infirmary, his life slowly bleeding away, and Elizabeth unable to see straight due to a hairline skull fracture, Teyla's in charge of Atlantis. She's been working endlessly, and Kate sees dark circles under Teyla's eyes as she looks up and catches sight of her.
"What will you do if we are unable to find power, or to find a new planet to settle on?" asks Teyla. It's the middle of the night, and they've all been working frantically to find the answers to their problems.
Kate's been able to get out of the infirmary, and she's holding out a cup of tea for Teyla to take. "What do you mean?" she asks, sitting down. She shoves the tea at Teyla and takes a drink of her own coffee.
"If you cannot die, what will you do when the rest of us perish?" asks Teyla. She grimaces at the scent of her tea, but drinks it anyway. Elizabeth's office is full of reports.
"I would die as well," says Kate. She cradles her mug to her chest. "If Atlantis ever returned to conditions where life could be supported, I would revive." She doesn't say how traumatic that would be, or how she'd be changed by the experience.
"I would not wish that for you," says Teyla. She reaches across Elizabeth's desk and takes Kate's hand.
"I wouldn't wish that for any of us," says Kate. She gives Teyla a reassuring look. "You won't let that happen."
"I hope not to." Teyla's smile is warm and reassuring, but strained.
"When's the last time you got any rest?" asks Kate.
"Far too long ago," admits Teyla. She pushes Elizabeth's chair back and stands. "I was going to go to the infirmary to check on John, and to update Elizabeth on our situation. She is--" Teyla gives Kate a wry look. "She is very frustrated."
"It's understandable," says Kate. She stands as Teyla rounds Elizabeth's desk, and they walk out of Teyla's office together. "Elizabeth is used to being in control of Atlantis, and the skull fracture is keeping her from that."
"The fact that it is understandable makes it no less irritating." Teyla's voice is tart.
"I imagine not," says Kate. She glances over at Teyla as they reach the door to Elizabeth's office. "At least she's alive."
"At least we have that," agrees Teyla.
John's form, still and almost lifeless, is on Kate's mind as they walk to the nearest transporter.
***
Kate hears the beeping of the life-support machine that John's on as she walks into the infirmary with Teyla. Rodney's there, taking five minutes from helping to save the city, and he gulps as he spots Kate and Teyla walking in.
Their fingers are laced together; Kate gave up the pretense that she didn't need the comfort of Teyla's friendship so recently that people in Atlantis aren't used to the shift in nonverbal dynamics.
Teyla gives Kate's hand a squeeze before dropping it and moving to speak with Elizabeth. The two of them speak in hushed, quiet voices as Kate moves to John's bedside.
"So, uh," says Rodney. "How are you holding up?"
"As well as any of us are," says Kate. She brushes her fingertips across John's forehead. The gauze is rough and snags on her skin.
"I keep thinking he's going to be okay," says Rodney. "That he's going to wake up, kick Carson out of the control chair, and yell at us all for wrecking his city. But Dr. Keller says--"
"Dr. Keller says not to borrow trouble," finishes Jennifer, walking in. "Kate. How you doing?"
By now, the whole city knows about her relationship with John. "Just fine," says Kate, smiling and letting the calm settle across her features.
She's known Jennifer for three years now, so Kate's knows from the look Jennifer's giving her that she's not fooled. "We need to talk," says Jennifer. "John has you and Elizabeth listed as next of kin on his medical paperwork, and we're talking brain surgery here."
"It's gotten that serious?" asks Kate. Rodney's still standing next to her, arms crossed, and she can see his face tighten with anguish.
"His brain won't stop swelling," says Jennifer. "Unless we reduce the swelling now--"
"He'll die," says Rodney.
"Even if he survives, you'll have to expect significant reduction in cognitive function," says Jennifer.
Kate nods. The faint tingling that has always marked John's presence hums under her skin. "Take him off life support."
"What?" asks Rodney. "Are you crazy? You can't just let him die--"
"Take him off life support," repeats Kate. She's half-tempted to start pulling plugs on her own. "He'll be fine."
"Kate, I don't think that's going to work the way you think it will," says Jennifer.
"Do it now," says Kate. "Trust me."
Rodney's gaze is whipping back and forth between her and John. "He's like you, isn't he?"
"Not yet." Kate knows her face is white. "Take him off life support and he will be. Do brain surgery, and you're going to doom him to a lifetime of mental disability on Earth, where he'll be cut off from those of us that love him."
"What do you mean 'like you?'" Jennifer's voice is sharp. "Kate, if I take him off life support, he's going to die."
"Do it, Jennifer," says Kate. "Please just trust me."
"Kate." Kate turns to see Elizabeth standing in the doorway, white-faced and supported by a determined-looking Teyla. "Is it the only way?"
"Dr. Weir, you should be in bed," says Jennifer. She starts forward, but Elizabeth holds up one trembling hand, and Jennifer stops.
"I'm sorry, Elizabeth." Kate glances back at John. His skin is paper thin, and he's already starting to look wasted. "If there was any other way--"
Elizabeth nods. "I'm aware of that." Her gaze strays to John, and Teyla's grip around her waist tightens. "Take Colonel Sheppard off life support, Dr. Keller."
"I can't do that," says Jennifer. "It goes against all my principles as a physician."
"Then I'll do it." Kate can't smile. She can't do anything but look over at John. Rodney's still standing in the corner of her vision, and she hears him gulp.
"He's going to be okay after this, right?" he asks.
"Yes." The short answer is all Kate can choke out.
"Then I have to get back to the pressing business of saving all our lives," says Rodney. He huffs an impatient sigh. "Radek's probably ready to crash us all into the nearest star. Which means that you, Elizabeth, should be in bed."
"I concur," says Teyla. She guides Elizabeth back to her bed, and Rodney follows along behind them, fussing until Teyla chases him off.
Jennifer's the only one left behind, and she's staring at Kate. "You can't do this," she says.
"Watch me." Kate flips the first switch off. Half an hour later, John's heart stops.
***
When John wakes up, he sees Kate sitting in the chair next to his bed. He clears his throat and mutters something incomprehensible before pushing himself up. When he meets her eyes, and sees what's in them, he knows. "I'm so unbelievably pissed at you right now."