Application!
Character: Filifermanhathrhumneits'elhessaiffnth ("Filif")
Series: Diane Duane's Young Wizards series
(specifically the books Wizard's Holiday and Wizards at War)
Character age: Unspecified, but equivalent to human teenager
Canon: The role of wizards in this series is to slow down the death of
the universe (also known as entropy) and to continually fight against its creator, the Lone
Power. But even wizards need a break from the never-ending battle, so Filif went on an
exchange program to Earth to learn about human culture and the way Earth wizards did
their duty. This resulted in enormous culture shock, because Filif is not just an alien
wizard. He is an alien wizard shaped like a Christmas tree, so learning about
vegetarianism was like being in a world full of cannibals.
But culture clashes aside, Filif is a very personable sort of tree: curious, friendly, and
very easy-going. He takes almost everything in stride and is eager to learn about human
culture. His favorite discoveries so far are baseball hats and bright colors, even if his
fashion sense is, to put it politely, nonexistent. He calls them "decorations" and prefers
bright orange swim trunks and Victoria's Secret lingerie.
[Note: Dai stihó is simply a greeting. Also, Filif is taken from before Wizards at
War.]
Sample post:
Dai stihó, everyone of Camp Fuck U Die!
I hope you'll forgive me for the late introduction; I was learning how to operate this
machine when your defense system activated. It is very difficult to use the Internet when
you have these... ghote? life-forms attempting to devour your fronds.
My name is Filif, I am on errantry, and I greet you. I was sent here to find out whether or
not death is impermanent here, because the Powers That Be have heard some strange
rumors about this place. They would have sent an Earth wizard, but I volunteered
instead. (Also, what is this about a panty tree I hear? Someone who
grows decorations? I must see this.)
From my background reading of this camp, it appears the Kindler of Wildfire, the Lone
Power, is personified and lives among you. And yet, you neither tread carefully before It
nor fight It openly? In fact, it seems that It is a benign influence on this place.
It's confusing, because I have seen the other species here that Chose badly when It
offered them death. Those shambling, decaying humanoids... although they don't seem
particularly unhappy about their Choice. I saw a couple of them feeding gleefully
on each other's oral cavities while something floated above their heads.
I expect to be staying here for at most fourteen Earth days. Perhaps someone can direct
me to where the Kindler resides? I'm currently next to the la -
Hm?
One of the humanoids seems to have contracted a disease that makes it sprout bright red
fur all over its body. It's heading right towards me. And it's carrying something, it looks
like - ah, a specimen of Viscum album, the European mistle....toe..
...
Excuse me for a moment.
----------
S-seventy six point five percent! O.o
Series: Diane Duane's Young Wizards series
(specifically the books Wizard's Holiday and Wizards at War)
Character age: Unspecified, but equivalent to human teenager
Canon: The role of wizards in this series is to slow down the death of
the universe (also known as entropy) and to continually fight against its creator, the Lone
Power. But even wizards need a break from the never-ending battle, so Filif went on an
exchange program to Earth to learn about human culture and the way Earth wizards did
their duty. This resulted in enormous culture shock, because Filif is not just an alien
wizard. He is an alien wizard shaped like a Christmas tree, so learning about
vegetarianism was like being in a world full of cannibals.
But culture clashes aside, Filif is a very personable sort of tree: curious, friendly, and
very easy-going. He takes almost everything in stride and is eager to learn about human
culture. His favorite discoveries so far are baseball hats and bright colors, even if his
fashion sense is, to put it politely, nonexistent. He calls them "decorations" and prefers
bright orange swim trunks and Victoria's Secret lingerie.
[Note: Dai stihó is simply a greeting. Also, Filif is taken from before Wizards at
War.]
Sample post:
Dai stihó, everyone of Camp Fuck U Die!
I hope you'll forgive me for the late introduction; I was learning how to operate this
machine when your defense system activated. It is very difficult to use the Internet when
you have these... ghote? life-forms attempting to devour your fronds.
My name is Filif, I am on errantry, and I greet you. I was sent here to find out whether or
not death is impermanent here, because the Powers That Be have heard some strange
rumors about this place. They would have sent an Earth wizard, but I volunteered
instead. (Also, what is this about a panty tree I hear? Someone who
grows decorations? I must see this.)
From my background reading of this camp, it appears the Kindler of Wildfire, the Lone
Power, is personified and lives among you. And yet, you neither tread carefully before It
nor fight It openly? In fact, it seems that It is a benign influence on this place.
It's confusing, because I have seen the other species here that Chose badly when It
offered them death. Those shambling, decaying humanoids... although they don't seem
particularly unhappy about their Choice. I saw a couple of them feeding gleefully
on each other's oral cavities while something floated above their heads.
I expect to be staying here for at most fourteen Earth days. Perhaps someone can direct
me to where the Kindler resides? I'm currently next to the la -
Hm?
One of the humanoids seems to have contracted a disease that makes it sprout bright red
fur all over its body. It's heading right towards me. And it's carrying something, it looks
like - ah, a specimen of Viscum album, the European mistle....toe..
...
Excuse me for a moment.
----------
S-seventy six point five percent! O.o