This is why you're single: johnscs28

[harumi]

I've decided to just start posting the interesting conversation I get from idiots on OKC. I won't do much commentary on them, I'll just let the things speak for itself. Here's the first one:

Comments

[flat_cat]

Seemed normal enough 'till he tried to project his own mindset of what was and was not ok in a friendship onto you and decided you were lying to him, for whatever reasons only he can fathom.

[harumi]

Yeah, and it's not any reason I want to fathom. The guy had some serious listening issues.

[manekikoneko]

About halfway through it becomes clear that he's interpreting "activity partners" as "fuckbuddies". Most of my experience with personal ad/"dating" sites like OKCupid comes from listening the Savage Lovecast, where everyone just wants sex, and from my dad, who says he's placing them (in actual newspapers!) in order to find friends but who I know to be looking for the hot young girlfriend he is convinced he deserves.

I would have replied to "everybody can potentially be a girl who just wants to fuck me and never speak again" with "Well, I'm definitely not a girl who wants to fuck you."

[harumi]

Ah, is that what it was? See, I didn't catch that at all, but then again, I interpreted "activity partners" as just that. Partners to do activities with, ie. exercising, writing, etc. There's a specific category you can select if you really wanted "fuck buddies". It's right there in OKC: casual sex.

Haha, nice, I'll make a point of remembering that. What I don't understand though, was why he was upset with these girls who just wanted one-night stands. If you want something a bit more permanent, it might be better to meet people who share similar interests and ideas, as opposed to just looking for people just because their profile picture looks "cute".

[manekikoneko]

I don't know if that's how OKC means "activity partners" but I suspect a lot of guys think of it that way. Euphemistically, like "casual sex" is too direct and skeevy, but "activity partners" implies you might go to a movie first. Also, there are probably fewer women with "casual sex" listed than "activity partners".

I think men don't want girls who want one-night stands, necessarily, because they don't want to feel rejected. It's fine if they're the ones not calling the girl back, but god forbid the girl be content with just one screw. I read some interesting stuff on Hathor Legacy a while back that really rang true, about how often men don't "see" the women they reject. They'll complain about how women are all bitches who never give them the time of day without noting that they themselves are the common factor in all those interactions; and they ignore all the women who might approach them that they don't consider good enough (i.e. model hot), and all the women they never approach because they don't consider them worth their time

[harumi]

Yeah, male privilege. His entire thing was filled with it. And the guy probably thinks I'm a bitch just because I didn't automatically for his endless charm.

I've noticed guys never do notice the "ugly girls". And then they also label the ones who reject them as "ugly". It's so childish I'm surprised any man has ever found a willing woman.

[februaryfour]

Looks like he had his own relationship problems VERY recently and is taking it out on other people. Personally I just ban those idiots for life because taking things out on random internet strangers is completely immature and these people never take personal responsibility for anything.

[harumi]

I dunno how to ban a person if all they do is IM you. Tips?

[februaryfour]

I think you click "Dead to me". Not 100% sure, because I deleted my OKC account.

[harumi]

I think OKC has changed, because I've never seen that. Well, I'll just see about ignoring the idiots.

[ubersaurus]

I think I really want to make a graph of the tailspin that was this conversation XD

I think the high point, for me, was his utterly sarcastic response to your profile, wherein he implied that as a guy, he doesn't read things. He just looks at the pretty pictures. It's a bizarre gender stereotype that apparently he just jumped to get in on.

Runner up goes to him raging out exponentially over time as soon as he learns you're a U of M graduate.

[harumi]

I think once I get a fuller collection, I might move this to either a separate LJ community, or to a blog. It'd be nice to have more input, and gather a bunch of data. This was a fun entry to make.

And if you ever do get around to making that graph, I look forward to seeing it. I'd like to get a visual, really. It was so bizarre.

[harumi]

And why do I get the feeling that he'd have raged even more if he found out UofM was my backup school and that given a preference I would have gone elsewhere? The guy had a serious inferiority complex toward UofM. Which completely puzzled me, since my family has always considered it a crap school, a school you could get in easily. I wanted to get into Cornell.

[ubersaurus]

U of M Ann Arbor isn't that crap a school (especially where Graduate studies are concerned) but it is a higher profile one than Wayne State. Not that WSU is a bad school or anything, but the programs they excel at are fewer in number than U of M's. Maybe he got rejected from U of M and then dated a girl from there who apparently was way better off without him?

I also just noticed his sadness that you were not in his location at that point in time so immediately into the conversation. That's not creeptacular or anything.

Speaking of, I have tales to tell expanding upon that email I sent along XD

[zalein]

[4:31:52 am]johnscs28:you are on the verge of being terrible...im waiting on your next words...

[4:31:59 am]johnscs28:yup, you suck

Is it wrong that that just makes me laugh? I can't decide whether to imagine this johnwhatsisface as a fortune-teller, or a magic-8-ball with a small lobster crawling around inside. (The lobster at least would explain his crabby mood.)

[harumi]

In retrospect, it definitely is hilarious. And thank you for putting it this way, because it made me feel better about the entire thing. One of the things I hate most is being told I'm something I feel I'm not. I can't help taking it personally, even when intellectually I know such a thing isn't worth my time.

I guess I'm unusually sensitive that way.

[zalein]

Dude, no. I think it's very different to be in a conversation, than to read someone else's logs of one. You're put in an entirely different situation, and suddenly, it is personal. I think you handled this thing very gracefully; at all times you kept your composure, and conducted yourself with dignity.

Since I'm outside of it all, I think it might be easier for me to just point and laugh at this guy. And if you like the points I notice, I shall continue to do so--not only am I glad to lighten the affair for you, but some of this stuff (like that part above) is comedic gold.