it's probably unfair of me to want to hold you to your word ( Read more... )

i don't know what it's like to drive around without my check engine light on. nor do i know what it's like to have a full tank of gas. i eat cereal for dinner at midnight. and i'm lucky if i have fifty bucks in my bank account. i am the happiest i have ever been in my entire life. everything makes sense here. i found myself.

amazing what a couple weeks can do. single socal beach life is my jam.

it's so easy to be away for months at a time. i don't know where the time goes, only that it goes by too quickly. i'm having the time of my life. every day i meet new people. i have my beach life. i have people that don't know every sorry thing i've done and the person i was ten years ago. people only know what i want them to know. sharing stories ( Read more... )

a rebound is supposed to be good for you. not hurt your heart in the way you've been running from. that defeats the purpose. very few tears have escaped lately and the fact that some did because of a new romance is shitty and wack as fuck. i may not be everything i strive to be but i am far from the worst. i'm better than past versions of myself ( Read more... )

still hurt. especially knowing you don't care to do anything about it. there's nothing quite like the words from a friend to pierce your heart and keep you up at night. i hate that the internet has the past laid out and ready to lurk at any given moment. just spend a good half an hour looking at emotions from years before and that only adds more ( Read more... )

it's worse when you never seen the punch coming. just left doubled over and reeling, unaware of what the hell is going on. you always do this to me. always. call me an alcoholic that you can't be around, tell me i'm damaged goods. tell me you want me, but never try to make anything of it. act like i'm a homewrecking bitch when i've barely seen you ( Read more... )

it's almost too much to come back here. like it belongs in the past with all the forgotten jokes and lost memories and broken friendships. yet here i am, ever the believer...reassuring myself constantly that i'm doing the right thing, it was for the best, it'll all work out in the end...but the end is the end and that seems pretty final and dark ( Read more... )

done. may have gotten off on the wrong foot already this year by not making changes. well, lets fix that. im no longer putting forth effort into one sided friendships. no more calls or texts that we both know you wont return. I get that we are grown up now and things are different. youre not the only one who is busy. but i feel like the only one ( Read more... )

i am so frustrated. life just piles on one thing after another...when can i just have a day where everything, no, ANYTHING, goes right? seriously.