Ryan threatened to stab me with a knife today.... it scared the shit out of me, and then he choked me until i said sorry.. sorry for what i have no idea but i said it as best as i could with his hand around my neck. i dont get it.. i love him so much and the thought of him leaving me makes me want to hang myself but why when he does such horrible ( Read more... )

I dont have a family anymore ( Read more... )

Yesterday, i had Mc Donalds, Mc Donalds! can u believe it..my friends mom picked me up and she was like "u need to eat' and she got me a meal, and i had to eat with her...i feel so discusting this morning.... tomorrowt though im starting the sacred heart diet so is should loose 10-17 pounds in a week.. last time i did it i lost 9, so we'll see... ( Read more... )

its been a couple weeks since ive posted on here because my boyfriend was living with me and it was hard to come on this site.. but hes gone now and im living alone again. Right now i am 98 pounds and my goal is 80 pounds.. i cant stand this.. i wish so bad i could snap my fingers and be 80 pounds.. i have been on and off this site for 3 years.. ( Read more... )

ok hi.. i saw my comments on my email but it wont let me go back to the post to comment back.. thank you everyone for commenting.. i just dont know what to do i might have to change my name but he said he'll find it... maybe he just stopped looking because if he saw those comments especially the one "dump his ass" he would have flipped a shit... i ( Read more... )

i havent posted in a while... i havent really been able to.. but i live on my own now!! FINALLY!! no parents.. oh my god im so excited.. and ryan, the love of my life is coming to live with me hopefully very soon.. well thats all for now..

im hoping to be like 105 by saturday morning.. im not going to eat anything until then.. i think i can make it.. but saturday i will definately HAVE to eat cuz i will be with colleen and jerry and we'll probably end up drinking a ton of beer.. oh god.. im gonna gain back all the weight on saturday i just know it. this sucks..

oh my god i fucking hate myself.. honestly i cant stand being me anymore... i am so fat and ugly... i am 5'2 and weigh 108! that is soo much... i want so desparately to be 85 pounds but i dont know if ill EVER get there... i dont even want to see jerry tonight cuz i feel so fat in front of him... Every single week i have a new plan and I ALWAYS ( Read more... )

okay so heres my plan... im stopping eating on 11:00 am today (monday april 24, 2006) i wont eat until either saturday or until i weigh 100 pounds.. whichever comes first.. I will drink 12 glasses or more of water every day and if i get hungry i will chew ice.. thats a 5 day fast.. i've only done a 2 day fast before which is pathetic but i think ( Read more... )

oh my god.. i cant take this shit anymore.... what am i going to do this sucks!