Bullet 17 (Audio//English) [Backdated to July 4th]

[hadalotofsugar]

So, all our warnings got reset because someone spilled something on the records?

Who knew it was that easy?

[King sounds vaguely amused. There is the sound of a putter hitting a golf ball; King is playing miniature golf on Deck 1.]

Anyone hear from Jack or Tyler today? [He has suspicions.]

Comments

[heavyweaponsbot]

I find it suspicious.

... No. Everything all right?

[commentspam]

[heavyweaponsbot]

Have to be. Smaller 'bot would be crushed under my armor.

[Ironhide doesn't bother swatting. He winds up and decks the nearest bee.]

Hmnf. [The voice gets a chuckle out of him, though.] Good. Not sure if I could take more of that voice.

[commentspam]

[hadalotofsugar]

And that just wouldn't do now, would it.

[King watches Ironhide punch the bee, a grin on his face. The next one to approach him gets solidly boxed, Lily's warnings ignored.]

My vocal chords would shred themselves. Or my crotch would. Either way.

[commentspam]

[heavyweaponsbot]

Not at all.

[He punches another, suddenly grinning. Yeah. This was what he needed. He pretends the next one looks like Barricade.]

And we cannot have that, can we, hmn?

[commentspam]

[hadalotofsugar]

[Most of King's annoyances are off the boat now, but pretending that the bees are Deacon, Danica, or various crew members certainly helps.]

I rather like my voice at its current octave, don't you.

[A solid punch to a bee's face, to which it responds by buzzing angirly. King punches it again.]

This is better than the boxing bag at the gym.

[commentspam]

[heavyweaponsbot]

[Punching Bees is one of the best kinds of catharsis the boat has to offer. Ironhide takes full advantage of it whenever he can.]

You really think I can judge a human's voice?

[He snorts at King's bee, before giving another a solid kick.]

I would break that thing.

[commentspam]

[hadalotofsugar]

[King should too!]

Well, you've gotta pick it up sometime, don't you?

[Go away angry beeeee.]

I've seen what you can do to the ship when you're motivated, I don't wanna think about that poor punching bag.

[commentspam]

[heavyweaponsbot]

Or, I can live comfortably in denial for the rest of my short existence.

[He reaches over to give King's bee a nice punch in the side.]

You should see the door on deck sixteen. Took it out hard.

[commentspam]

[hadalotofsugar]

Short existence? What, are you running out of juice or something?

[He nods in response to the punch. THANKS BUDDY.]

I might have to. We can use it as a warning. "This is my buddy. Don't piss him off."

[commentspam]

[heavyweaponsbot]

War back home. Who knows how long any of us will stay functioning?

[He doesn't sound upset by this, though.]

So you will be using me as a shield, hm?

[commentspam]

[hadalotofsugar]

That's true. [King doesn't comment that, at this point, he just wants to know that home's doing okay, and send a message, rather than return home. Ironhide, he'd miss, but he also respects the guy's need to go home.] But hey, you never know. You might survive and have two tiny autobot babies with Ratchet or something.

[He chuckles.]

You're an effective one, you gotta admit.

[commentspam]

[heavyweaponsbot]

[And at that comment about Ratchet, Ironhide... misses his target. His fist bypasses the bee entirely, slamming into a wall while he staggers forward a few steps.]

... Wh-What! What are you--What!

[commentspam]

[hadalotofsugar]

Whoa! [King looks concerned for a moment, but then he grins sheepishly.] Or you know, not. Not the kid type, Ironhide?

[commentspam]

[heavyweaponsbot]

What are you talking about? Why would I--even if it were possible--why would we...? He is my friend.

[He's trying to look intimidating, but the bee running into his leg like a fly into a windowpane kind of ruins the effect.]

[commentspam]

[hadalotofsugar]

[Have a very dry look, Ironhide.]

Right, he's your friend. How could I forget that fact. [Like you'd sleep with someone who wasn't - well. Either way.

And he wants to ask how they reproduce, but Ironhide has already proven that he doesn't like those questions, so he doesn't say anything.]

[commentspam]

[heavyweaponsbot]

[Ironhide just stares back. One bee buzzes too close, and, without looking at it, he slugs it in the face.]

What are you implying.

[It's not a question. Ironhide rarely asks questions.]