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Missing you
Can you miss someone you've never held ( Read more... ) -
Who ya gonna call?
Our apartment is fairly new, and not haunted, except for the cat that stays in my mother's room and likes curling up on her feet. Unlike the house in Philadelphia, no demons here, and no big mirrors that double as doors. So really, the place is pretty quiet. But apparently mum says last night, she saw a little boy at her closet, looking into it. ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
More than anything, someday I want to get to a point in my life where everything feels okay everywhere. Even if tbeyre not perfect, they're good and I'm content if not happy. I want to someday get to a point where I never ask myself again if living was the right choice. -
Please die, Ana
Every day, I sit at the table with my demons and wonder if every bite of food is a victory or a defeat. I'm consumed by thinking about how fat I am and how thin I was, and how deeply I still want collarbones that catch rain drops, how exciting it felt to not have my legs touch anywhere until the knees, or that rush I felt when I zipped up a size 0 ( Read more... ) -
Ode To the Brain
It frightens me so much to know that since my brain injury, I have changed. My personality has changed enough that I'm aware of it, but I can't pinpoint all the ways. I can't tell where I've completely changed and what's always been that way and I've just gotten tired of pretending it wasn't. It scares me so much to know that I'm trying to pretend ( Read more... ) -
Still I'm sad
I wish I knew why, too, since the things that seem to have triggered my feeling this way really and truly shouldn't matter. It was just such a little comment, with no real thought or meaning to it, and frankly says more about him than me. A guy I'd met in Philly and had a few uncomfortable dates with and then turned down for anything past that is ( Read more... ) -
Feed Me
Going back on my diet because this is driving me insane. Mom insists we eat when we're unhappy, but mostly I eat because I feel obligated to. She is buying lunch, so I eat, but she picks crappy food places with no real healthy win. Water is a premium beverage, and salad costs more than a happy meal. Real food upsets her stomach but junk goes down ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
The saddest thing is that this year my friends sent me Christmas presents. One of my besties sent me a box of the sweetest, most personal presents I could ever hope for.
I didn't have the heart to tell her that after I opened it at 2 this morning I cried myself to sleep. -
(Untitled)
Thirteen hours on my clock
Time slips by
Tick tock tick tock -
Wheel In the Sky
In two weeks, I'll be taking my CNA class in a power weekend that's geared to prep me for the state exam and promises I'll pass. It's going to be insanely stressful to try and scrape together the extra money to pay for the exam, health exams, shots, and all the other fun stuff I'll need, but in the end undoubtedly worth it. I've never really wanted ( Read more... )