Do not attract notice from zombies. Do not attract notice from zombies. Do not attract notice from

[gwendally]

This essay was published in my local paper today.  I'm trying not to reply to it.  I want to not reply to it.  I do not want attention from the zombies.  But, seriously, the replies are burning inside me.  So I'll put them here.  But first, the essay with only minor redaction.

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Comments

[gwendally]

Dear Lady,

The squirrels in your story got rich because you kept feeding them. Just as the banks get rich when you borrow money from them, or when they get 2% of gross sales when you conveniently swipe your credit card, or 40 cents each time you swipe a debit card to buy three dollar's worth of milk: the banks - and the squirrels - get fat because they are good at getting what you are freely of your own will giving.

Perhaps the answer is to stop feeding them.

In economics we talk about "the invisible hand of the market" providing food where and when you wish to purchase it. I'm really unclear how you can mistake your very visible hand attached to your arm as a better distribution system, much less one that doesn't suffer from "centralized control of the resources." Where exactly was that birdseed coming from if not from one person who was in charge of buying and distributing it?

Please continue to share your wealth where-ever you desire. But I thought your theory was for the birds.

[froggoddess]

AHHHHH THAT IS SO GOOD and I wish you could put it in the paper under your name. But no, that would attract too many of them. I was surprised that you went as far as you did on my facebook page today. :)

[gwendally]

Perhaps my husband will take on the role of curmudgeon. He is already viewed by a few neighborhood zombies as the reason I can't post Rainbow Unicorn Party posters on my lawn. "My husband won't let me." That meanyhead. I think one of them saw an NRA magazine he left lying around once, too. What can I say... it was obviously a forced and unhappy marriage.

[rev_mac]

Ah, married at gun point no less!

[billijean]

I know this is not the point at all, but all I could think was.. Omg.. the WEEDS! Those seeds will sprout and grow and her yard will be full of sunflowers and barely and millet and corn and whatever rapeseed and nigerseed grow into.. not actually that pretty and a bitch to walk on. And you can't rid of that stuff.

[tezliana]

That is a beautiful snark! I will reflect on it every time I watch a hawk or a bobcat hunting in our yard.

[_evalution]

sorry for the delete, my link failed.

but really, she should've just invested in a squirrel-proof feeder. or just let the wild animals forage for themselves...

http://youtu.be/gXM8Ri600HQ