Do not attract notice from zombies. Do not attract notice from zombies. Do not attract notice from
This essay was published in my local paper today. I'm trying not to reply to it. I want to not reply to it. I do not want attention from the zombies. But, seriously, the replies are burning inside me. So I'll put them here. But first, the essay with only minor redaction.
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For many winters I have spent considerable mental energy trying to figure out... ... how to keep squirrels from dominating the bird feeder. Day after day, I have watched from the sidelines as dominant squirrels arrived in the early morning to hang upside down the feeder and eat until all the resources were gone. I have felt helpless as birds and squirrels with less power waited in the cold for the trickle-down theory to kick in.
Something needed to be done, so ... I walked the land around my house trying to find where I could possibly move the feeder, but, looking from a squirrel's point of view, there really was no place. They could leap six feet straight up and 10 feet sidewise. Their motivation to consume was intense and their innate technology perfect. So day after day, I'd plot and plan and they would eat and eat. The backyard became a lonely place. The birds had given up. The less dominant squirrels had given up. I had given up. And the 1% was getting fatter and fatter.
Months into the Occupy movement, I awoke one morning realizing the entire system needed to be changed. I couldn't fix it. I couldn't out-maneuver it. It was broken and required a whole new paradigm to replace it. I took the bird feeder away. Beautiful snow had just fallen. I walked outside and redistributed the wealth, spreading the resources along the ground where they couldn't fall only in the hands and mouths of the 1 percent.
Within 10 minutes, the squirrels returned. Finding nothing where there once was everything, they looked around and each found a small pile of seeds and began to eat. Other squirrels joined them, each with equal access. Within a few hours, some birds arrived and ate. Within a day or two, my yard was filled - squirrels, juncos, cardinals, mourning doves, woodpeckers, sparrows, chickadees, blue jays - a gorgeous diversity with everyone having a place at the table. The 99 percent had joined the 1 percent and, without centralized control of the resources, everyone had enough.
Looking out my window at this new backyard panorama, I can see clearly the Occupy Movement - its reasons for being and its goals - and the beauty of an economic system with equal access and shared wealth. And I can tell you, having seen what is possible, 100 percent is a wonder to behold.
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Okay, here comes my snark.
Lady, you forgot to mention the red-tailed hawk that will arrive. Hey, hawks have to eat, too.
Lady, can you spot any possible roll you might have played in the squirrels getting fat?
Lady, please come and feed my birds for me, too, because it's not fair that someone isn't standing outside providing a constant stream of food for all that want it in MY yard, too!
Lady, in a capitalist society food is provided by the "invisible hand of the market". You appear to have dispensed with this difficult issue of having to pay for food by providing your own actual hand providing the food by walking around distributing it constantly. Can you please expand on how this is not "centralized control of the resources" in this scenario? Where does the bird seed come from? How did it get there?
Lady, please explain why the dominant squirrels were content with the piles in one place and didn't scurry around eating the seed from all places. Did you vastly increase the amount of seeds you were dispensing?
Lady, thank you for feeding the squirrels over on your side of town. It's great that you're attracting them away from me, I appreciate it. They weren't really bothering my bird feeder with a big tippy platter underneath it, but I am glad to be rid of the tree rats. I expect you'll also attract the coyotes that like to eat fattened squirrels as well as the bears that come out for the seeds and nuts, too. Enjoy your eco-system. Perhaps you could plant some deer-attracting vegetation while you're at it. Thanks so much.
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For many winters I have spent considerable mental energy trying to figure out... ... how to keep squirrels from dominating the bird feeder. Day after day, I have watched from the sidelines as dominant squirrels arrived in the early morning to hang upside down the feeder and eat until all the resources were gone. I have felt helpless as birds and squirrels with less power waited in the cold for the trickle-down theory to kick in.
Something needed to be done, so ... I walked the land around my house trying to find where I could possibly move the feeder, but, looking from a squirrel's point of view, there really was no place. They could leap six feet straight up and 10 feet sidewise. Their motivation to consume was intense and their innate technology perfect. So day after day, I'd plot and plan and they would eat and eat. The backyard became a lonely place. The birds had given up. The less dominant squirrels had given up. I had given up. And the 1% was getting fatter and fatter.
Months into the Occupy movement, I awoke one morning realizing the entire system needed to be changed. I couldn't fix it. I couldn't out-maneuver it. It was broken and required a whole new paradigm to replace it. I took the bird feeder away. Beautiful snow had just fallen. I walked outside and redistributed the wealth, spreading the resources along the ground where they couldn't fall only in the hands and mouths of the 1 percent.
Within 10 minutes, the squirrels returned. Finding nothing where there once was everything, they looked around and each found a small pile of seeds and began to eat. Other squirrels joined them, each with equal access. Within a few hours, some birds arrived and ate. Within a day or two, my yard was filled - squirrels, juncos, cardinals, mourning doves, woodpeckers, sparrows, chickadees, blue jays - a gorgeous diversity with everyone having a place at the table. The 99 percent had joined the 1 percent and, without centralized control of the resources, everyone had enough.
Looking out my window at this new backyard panorama, I can see clearly the Occupy Movement - its reasons for being and its goals - and the beauty of an economic system with equal access and shared wealth. And I can tell you, having seen what is possible, 100 percent is a wonder to behold.
-------------------
Okay, here comes my snark.
Lady, you forgot to mention the red-tailed hawk that will arrive. Hey, hawks have to eat, too.
Lady, can you spot any possible roll you might have played in the squirrels getting fat?
Lady, please come and feed my birds for me, too, because it's not fair that someone isn't standing outside providing a constant stream of food for all that want it in MY yard, too!
Lady, in a capitalist society food is provided by the "invisible hand of the market". You appear to have dispensed with this difficult issue of having to pay for food by providing your own actual hand providing the food by walking around distributing it constantly. Can you please expand on how this is not "centralized control of the resources" in this scenario? Where does the bird seed come from? How did it get there?
Lady, please explain why the dominant squirrels were content with the piles in one place and didn't scurry around eating the seed from all places. Did you vastly increase the amount of seeds you were dispensing?
Lady, thank you for feeding the squirrels over on your side of town. It's great that you're attracting them away from me, I appreciate it. They weren't really bothering my bird feeder with a big tippy platter underneath it, but I am glad to be rid of the tree rats. I expect you'll also attract the coyotes that like to eat fattened squirrels as well as the bears that come out for the seeds and nuts, too. Enjoy your eco-system. Perhaps you could plant some deer-attracting vegetation while you're at it. Thanks so much.