Oh look, an incomplete thought!

[gunpowdersmile]

I'm probably going to have several conversations with poets in the future. FB isn't a forum for meaningful exchange in my opinion. You don't get honest; you don't get spontanaeity (see "you don't get honesty") and cheerleaders never make for good discussion.

Had good albeit brief followup with thevanisher in person last night. Had some revelatory IM convos

Comments

all very true.

[lv_prosewriter]

a few unrelated points:
1. A study was done a while back, which showed that most people think they know the tone they express in their emails, and a huge % of folks mistake it. AND most people think they can tell the tone of an email they read AND most are wrong.
2. Things may seem bad in the poetry community, but I can guarantee you it is miles better than most of the "real" world. That doesn't make it OK--but maybe gives a perspective?
3. As someone who would obviously seem privileged, but is also kind-hearted and well-meaning, I often feel afraid to speak at all, for fear of inadvertently offending someone. This is more from 25 years experience in the museum field than from the present controversy. The language of political correctness is constantly changing and hard to keep up with. This probably sounds cynical, but sometimes it seems more important to know how to talk the talk than to have actual love in one's heart. I guess I would start by lots of listening and hope my questions only sound stupid, not condescending.

yes! yes exactly!

[thevanisher]

1) sorry I took off, I needed sleep, and realised a block away that I hadn't said goodbye to you, almost 180d to do just that, stood in the street for a second, and then was like, agh, i'll text or something later. but yeah, sorry, sick and recovering from that still.

2) the scared agreement thing, the dishonesty and the silence, that is what I was rebelling against in my original lj post, and something that I've not heard anyone else in the whole debate comment on. How are we going to change what we feel, or be truly challenged, if we don't actually own how we're feeling? It makes me so happy to see that someone else sees and understands this. God. I could cry.

3) I actually had a really interesting convo with Regie Gibson on Wednesday about this whole debacle, and he had a couple interesting observations. I'd love to share, next time we meet :)

Re: yes! yes exactly!

[gunpowdersmile]

No worries. Feel better! I actually think I'm getting sick now so I get it. All I want is my bed.

And talk we shall!

[nerak_g]

I feel like the brief exchange we had in the living room, even though only a few minutes of "this hurts" said volumes more than all the mileage of letters in blogging.It counts so much more, even on less.

This has made me feel old.I realize a lot of the ground I have been standing on has been revised in the 20 or so years of distance between me & the time when most of my awakenings occurred.Time to get updated.Yet also, I realize I took for granted a lot more awareness in others than may or may not have been there.Myself included.

Would love to have more conversations with you, probably when we have more energy.

[gunpowdersmile]

Yeah, I'm favoring the face-to-face or the IM. Your house was the first time (I think) that I got to speak to anyone other than my boy about it.

There are definitely some things I took for granted, too. I'm still very thoughtful, just decidely less sad.

Sidebar: keep me posted if you have any bag problems. Like I said, you are bag 1.0 so your feedback is welcome, wanted and nec.

Re: I'm convinced in person is the ONLY way.

[gunpowdersmile]

I agree, in part, but I think that a lot of these conversations need to be amongst people with the same perspective AND a desire to see another perspective.

Certain conversations will likely never happen in mixed company. Away from race, two guys will have a convo about date rape that I can never be apart of. A guy, I think, can push another guy to see date rape in a way that I couldn;t because there is always an assumption of bias when I, as a woman, talk about rape.

I think the same thing happens with race. Yes we need the black/white dialouge - or maybe better put, the Subject/Object or Dominant/Other - but we also need the white/white convo and the black/black convo. There is, for netter or worse, going to be a level of trust and openness that is often sadly lacking from the "mixed" conversations. Examples may not be brought up for fear of alienated. Feelings are not addressed for fear of shaming or of having a feeling misinterpreted and then being categorized.