Well that's why I'm trying to engage strangers in conversation- to see if we even have anything in common! Here's the situation. I work in Midtown Atlanta for the local natural gas monopoly. Every now and then after work I walk down to the local gay bookstore (Outwrite, not some sleazy "bookstore", it is an actual bookstore and coffee shop) since it is a short walk, and I can wait out traffic there for a while. So I people watch, have some coffee, that kind of thing. The other day I tried talking up a guy around my age, and it was difficult. I'm actually quite good at having conversations with complete strangers (straight men/women, older gay men), even if we don't have much in common
( ... )
No, no. I'm not saying all men over 35 are creepy (my ex is 40, but he isn't creepy, he just lacks social skills). I'm saying that it seems the creepy guys online are all over 35 (like in their 40's or 50's).
I think your basic problem is that you're trying to engage twenty-something guys in conversation. I think you're unusual in being able to sustain a conversation without already knowing you have something in common.
I say this as a twenty-something male who is "normal" in that regard - I find it difficult to sustain conversations with people I don't know. Mainly because I can never think of sensible questions to ask at the right points in the conversation. I'll happily talk for hours about all sorts of topics, from religion and politics to maths and philosophy, but I (like many/most men) suck at "small talk". I'll think of something useful to say while the other person is talking, then promptly forget it, or only think of it after the moment has passed.
Hm. Not a male here (I'm a bisexual female with a female partner), but I thought I'd offer two thoughts:
* Why not consider a romantic relationship with a man over 35? My partner is 23 years older than I am. We found that the mental age mattered a lot more than physical age. We're just lucky I think her crows feet are really cute. * I typically don't look for friends within the GLBT community. I start where I _know_ there's something in common (e.g., I'm a psych major, so I chat with other psych majors). For some reason, whether it's because I'm so out of the closet I must be glowing neon or something else, I tend to find people who think alike and even have similar sexualities and/or sensibilities. I've found within the GLBT community that I have _nothing_ other than my sexuality in common with others so it goes nowhere.
Comments 7
(The comment has been removed)
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
Reply
Reply
Reply
I say this as a twenty-something male who is "normal" in that regard - I find it difficult to sustain conversations with people I don't know. Mainly because I can never think of sensible questions to ask at the right points in the conversation. I'll happily talk for hours about all sorts of topics, from religion and politics to maths and philosophy, but I (like many/most men) suck at "small talk". I'll think of something useful to say while the other person is talking, then promptly forget it, or only think of it after the moment has passed.
I know that's not much help. Sorry.
Reply
* Why not consider a romantic relationship with a man over 35? My partner is 23 years older than I am. We found that the mental age mattered a lot more than physical age. We're just lucky I think her crows feet are really cute.
* I typically don't look for friends within the GLBT community. I start where I _know_ there's something in common (e.g., I'm a psych major, so I chat with other psych majors). For some reason, whether it's because I'm so out of the closet I must be glowing neon or something else, I tend to find people who think alike and even have similar sexualities and/or sensibilities. I've found within the GLBT community that I have _nothing_ other than my sexuality in common with others so it goes nowhere.
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment